Working with an angry child can be very taxing. Child care providers often find that the angry child can change a productive, congenial group into a tense, emotionally charged situation in a matter of minutes. Knowing more about this emotion, anger, can help the child care provider work with the angry child and thus the whole child care setting.

ANGER - A NATURAL EMOTION

Anger can be defined as a high-intensity, high-energy emotion which is generally of short duration (Staff, 1991). This emotion is often triggered by a social event or interaction with other humans. Almost everyone, whether a child or an adult, experiences anger at one time or another. This emotion may start developing in infants as young as three months. In most cases those experiencing anger are receiving a signal to self-defend or protect themselves. The most important concept for all of us to learn is that anger is a normal and natural response. Children need to know that it is alright to be angry at times; in fact it is healthy. The responses to this emotion can sometimes cause difficulty and concern.

UNHEALTHY RESPONSE TO ANGER

Different children respond to anger in different ways. Some are obvious, others can be overlooked. Child care providers may see a child exhibit physical symptoms of anger such as flushing or paling of the face, muscle tension, sweating, crying, or tantrums. Other children may verbally express their anger through screaming, cursing, or arguing. Physical aggression is another statement children use to show their anger.

Child care providers have probably witnessed the angry child who has hit, bit, or kicked other children or who has slammed doors, punched furniture, thrown objects, or broken toys. Other symptoms are more passive-aggressive in nature. Sometimes poor academic grades, lack of social cooperation, procrastination, forgetfulness, or stubbornness are signs of an angry child.

Some children respond to anger by repressing their feelings. This can be very dangerous and may lead to depression, use of drugs, feelings of guilt, eating disorders, health problems, or thoughts of suicide. All of these symptoms are unproductive, unhealthy ways for children to express their anger. Child care providers can become very instrumental in helping the children in their care to develop healthy and more socially acceptable ways to handle anger.

ANGER STIMULI FOR CHILDREN

Knowing why a child is angry can help the adult work with that child. Not every child becomes angry for the same reasons. Common stimuli of children's anger are (Fried, 1979):

- Being misunderstood

- Being ignored

- Being unappreciated

- Being belittled

- Being taken for granted

- Experiencing abuse

- Being unjustly challenged

- Misunderstanding rules

- Being over-challenged

- Living with increased noise levels.

WAYS TO HELP CHILDREN EXPRESS THEIR ANGER

Before a child care provider begins to help an angry child, it is important to be sure that the child's behavior is related to the anger emotion. Reactions to illness, frustration, tiredness, medication, or stress can mirror the responses of anger. Yet these reactions can easily be addressed through relieving the hunger, tiredness, frustration, treating the illness, or changing the medication. If indeed the child is hungry, your response will be different. The techniques listed below are appropriate ways for you to help the child express anger. - Talk to the child about emotions and give names to the feelings he is experiencing.

- Watch for times when the child is "talking out" the anger and encourage this behavior.

- Provide physical outlets for anger: running, climbing stairs, dancing, walking.

- Use touching and closeness to calm a child until she can talk about her anger.

- Have clear limits and consistently enforce those limits.

- Intervene before the situation gets out of hand.

- Reinforce positive aspects of the child's character.

- Use "I messages" to express your feelings.

- Serve as a role model for the child, by talking anger out, not acting out! Ask other significant adults in the child's life to do so also.

- Use humor to ease the tension.

- Change the surroundings that may be stimulating the emotion.

- Use storytime and other discussion times to nurture problem solving techniques with the child.

- Most of all, tell the child you accept his angry feelings. Explain that it is necessary to change the way in which he expresses this anger, for his sake and for the well-being of others.

REFERENCES

Fried, H. (Ed.). (1979). *Plain Talk About Dealing With The Angry Child* (Report No. 79-781). Rockville, Maryland: U.S. Dept. of Health, Education, and Welfare.

Staff. (1991, May). *Dealing With Anger In The Family*. Minneapolis, MN: Family Information Services, p. 23-32.

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES

Beekman, S. & Holmes, J. (1993). *Battles, Hassles, Tantrums, and Tears*. Williamburg, PA: Hearst/William Morrow.

Bilodeau, L. (1992). *The Anger Workbook*. Minneapolis, MN: CompCare Publishers.

Harriman, L. & Weller, N. (1980). *Children's Feelings* (Report No. FL-17). Champaign, IL: University of Illinois, College of Education. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. ED 187 438).

The Philip Lief Group, Inc. (1993). *Your Child's Emotional Health*. New York: Macmillan Publishing Co.

McCracken, J.B. (Ed.). (1986). *Reducing Stress in Your Children's Lives*. Washington, D.C.: NAEYC.

Montgomery, M. (Ed.). (1991). *Children's Domestic Abuse Program*. Charlotte, NC: Kidsrights.