Childhood is the time for children to learn how to get along with others. As caregivers, we play a crucial role in helping young children understand social behavior and form satisfying relationships. As caregivers, we play an important role in developing a child's personality and character. Our challenge is to learn how to help each child begin to develop into a socially-competent person who can express his own feelings, empathize with others' feelings, and be cooperative, generous and kind.
Never underestimate the power of play when it comes to teaching youngsters how to get along with each other. Children learn from other children so we need to give them plenty of opportunities for play and interaction among themselves. Play is one of the most important ways children learn about and explore how to behave with other people.
Sharing is always a big issue with youngsters. But "taking turns" is very different from really sharing from the heart. Often teachers establish policies to regulate turn-taking, but what do you think that really teaches children? Our goal is for children to be able to get along and resolve their problems among themselves - not to rely on adults to constantly make decisions for them.
We can't even begin to talk about kindness and generosity without introducing the concept of empathy - the ability to sense or feel what another person is feeling. A little empathy can go a long way in teaching children to share from the heart.
Here are several practical techniques we can use with young children to help them develop empathy:
Encourage children to assume different roles in their pretend play.
Help them express their own feelings and encourage them to listen to other people's feelings.
Try to link one child's feelings to another child's by reminding them of their own past experiences in similar situations.
Helping children feel good about themselves and others is our primary goal in teaching social competency. We can accelerate the process by incorporating the value of helping and being kind to others into our daily curriculum. Start by asking for and accepting a child's offer to help other children and ourselves. There are endless possible ways in which we can ask children to provide support and assistance, thereby creating a climate where kindness and generosity is noted, discussed and highly valued.
Responding to the needs of children in our group who have disabilities provides excellent opportunities for children to share from the heart. Of course, kindness and thoughtful attention is always welcome, but keep in mind that sometimes the kindest thing children can do is to simply include others in their play.
For example, rather than simply saying "There's no hitting," we can explain, "I won't let anyone hurt you and I won't let you hurt anyone, either." We can also help children learn to respect other's personal privacy by insisting that children and teachers have the child's permission before handling a personal possession. Children have the right to have their feelings and choices respected, and we have ample opportunities to model this throughout the day. As teachers, we should always acknowledge and respect a child's feelings, never insisting that he stop crying or say he's sorry when he isn't. A child is never too young to learn how to respect themselves and others.
A teacher can model cooperation. If the room needs cleaning up, the teacher's attitude and her behavior can communicate, "Here, I'll help - let's do this together. This is my room too. Let's share the responsibility for getting it cleaned up so we can move on to the next activity." Children especially love it when an adult has a problem and everyone is encouraged to pitch in with their ideas and cooperate solving it.
We can also teach children some useful, non-violent ways of getting what they want by practicing the art of compromise. Help them bargain with each other, make a trade or use something together. "I'll pull you in the wagon while you sit in it," or "I'll trade you my purple pen for that red one." Learning to negotiate is a valuable part of becoming socially competent
*Submitted by Sherry