I Hate You!

Don't Leave Me!

Below is a poem I wrote prior to Timothy McVeigh's execution. It's name comes from the title of a book on borderline personality disorder----supposedly the defining refrain for those of us who want love but hate wanting it. I guess that is how I felt about McVeigh when I punched this out several months ago. I have put it on a separate page because it probably speaks my true feelings moreso than any other of my works on this site.

I've already offered you answers to your woes.
You've nothing to blame but your own bad mistakes.
Don't pin this on me---I tried hard to love you.
But, like everyone else, you just pushed me away.

What is it about you that evokes hatred in so many?
Your quiet politeness belies a heart of cold lead.
An abhorrent entity, wrapped in a chilling enigma.
How the hell could you expect me to save you this time?

You're locked in a prison of your own architecture.
I should not even honour your presence with mine.
Your mouth, set in a grim and sardonic leer of rage,
Terrifies me, so why do I keep coming back?

You'll never escape this stone prison you've built.
Can't you see that it's ripping your soul from what's good?
If I thought for one minute that you regretted your past,
I'd smash through this window and crawl into your heart.

But that is never to happen and you'll pay your price.
Many hope that you'll suffer forever in hell.
I wish you no ill, but my rage will not cool.
You robbed from me a way out of my darkness.

Enigmacat

2001.