The Strange and Unbreakable Bond:
What Ties Timothy McVeigh To Me?
I sit at my keyboard and make many frantic attempts to have my thoughts rearranged. I must get this right, because what has invaded my brain, not to mention my conscience is simply too much to absorb and assimilate. So what is my dirty little secret, a secret which is about to be divulged to anyone reading this page? I'll tell you: I've discovered that Timothy McVeigh and I share many things in common. As you continue reading, I must warn you that things get pretty controversial, so much so that Geocities might revoke my site. I certainly would never bomb a building, or even beat someone up, even if they started it. I also possess a life-long dislike for guns, so these two elements of McVeigh's emotional make-up do not apply to me.
However, for all intents and purposes, I feel a certain kinship with this man, who sits in a cramped little cell on death row and who wavers back and forth about whether or not he is ready to die. He's been locked up for over six years and has settled into a particular mindset, a mindset that allows him to cope with his inevitable execution and his premature journey to St. Peter. He has to be frightened and lonely. McVeigh rarely sees any of the other death row inmates and must exercise in a yard with only a guard for company. Last December, when he burned all of his bridges by confessing that he alone built and detonated the bomb that killed so many people, including children and babies. He waivered his remaining appeals and now it is past the deadline where he could change his mind and put off the execution. I'm hoping the judge will show some measure of compassion and grant McVeigh a stay, but it's going to take a great deal of praying by those who give a damn about him. And there are such individuals, myself included.
So just what are these similarities to a convicted bomber that I've felt for six years now? Well, even though I am somewhat older than Tim, we seem to lead duplicate lives. Our childhoods are amazingly alike, not to mention his traits of obsessive compulsive behaviour, along with periods of deep and debilitating depression. Please come back when I have much more of this page uploaded. It's 1 AM and I haven't slept more than five hours for a long time now. In the coming weeks, you will realize just why I care for Tim McVeigh the person---not McVeigh, the mass murderer. I have done things for which I am deeply chagrined.
