Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a girl named Mouse-chan who wished with all her heart that she could own Fushigi Yuugi. But she couldn’t, and was sad. The End.

Warnings: More Tasuki language than last time. Shounen ai. ( Eeeheee!! ^_^.n )

Notes: Everyone who’s reviewed, thank you, thank you, thank you! ^_^n No, seriously…I appreciate it to no end. ^_^ And even if you don’t leave reviews, thanks for reading my story! And thank you, Kaze-chan, for really helping me out with this chapter. ^_^ You rock. OOH! And I got my wall scroll!! **cheers** Yay! Ahemahemahem… well, anyway…. ~.^;; Have fun, everybody! Happy Holidays! (The Fellowship of the Ring comes out in under two weeks! GAHH!!)

Needless to say, this recent development did NOT fit into my plans.

How could I have let this happen?! After that whole speech I’d given about Being Single!!! I wanted to slap myself around a bit, but figured that probably wasn’t the best way to approach the situation… But it didn’t change anything, really, except for the fact that I now considered myself even more of an idiot than before. So I liked him. That didn’t mean I had to tell him. That didn’t mean anything. I still wanted to be alone.

There was, after all, a very big difference between having a crush on someone and wanting to date him.

I liked my friends. Friendship is way more important than love, if you ask me. There’s less…pressure. True, I’m not the best guy to give an opinion on the subject, never having been in love before. Well, anyway.

Maybe if you don’t see him anymore, you’ll forget about him.

But I couldn’t do that. I’d already promised I wouldn’t let it come between us.

And it seemed like the only way to fix things…

~*~

I was minding my own business, pondering the sidewalk in front of me on my way to class the following day, when I was suddenly jumped upon from behind, lost my balance, and tumbled into the grass.

"Ryuu-chan!!" Miaka exclaimed cheerfully, now sitting on my back.

Rolling over to force her off, I examined the new green stains on my knees. "Can’t you say hello like a normal person?"

"I don’t think so," she giggled. "Did you sleep well? Hey, are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks…" It wasn’t a lie; after deciding to avoid Saihitei forever, I’d felt surprisingly at peace, had had a good night’s sleep, and hadn’t felt sick ever since. "Why? Did you sleep well?"

"Hehehehehe…" She shot me a slightly scary, overly-cheerful grin.

"Oh, no, Miaka…you stayed up all night, didn’t you," I stated.

She laughed again, almost maniacally. "Hee hee, I’m so slap-happy!! I scared Taka this morning when I laughed too hard at one of Gen-chan’s stupid jokes."

"Where is Taka?"

"He’s over there, pretending he doesn’t know me." I followed her quick gesture across the street, where Taka was standing by a tree regarding me with sympathetic eyes. I waved to him weakly.

"Hey, ahh…Miaka…"

"Wanna hear the joke?!"

I sighed. "Sure."

"Okay…hehehe… ‘Where does the general keep his armies?’"

Trying not to giggle along with her—she was already repressing laughter—I shrugged. "I dunno. Where?"

"In his SLEEVIES!!!" she exclaimed, and was immediately reduced to a boneless mass of stomach-clutching, silently-laughing, incredibly-sleep-deprived girl.

I laughed, too, though more at her reaction than at the joke itself. "Miaka…"

"In…his sleevies!!" she repeated, tears in her eyes, gasping for breath.

"Yes…that’s a great joke." My hand dropped to rest on her shoulder. "Should we get you some caffeine?"

She wiped her eyes, calming down gradually. "Eheh…are you sure you wanna risk it?"

"Well…" Standing up, I helped her to her feet. "So, are you going to class with Taka?"

"I was gonna, but he has physics," she frowned. "I won’t get anything. Where’re you going?"

"History."

"AHH!! Can I come with you, instead?!"

"Um, well, I guess so, if you want," I said. "Will Taka mind, though?"

She looked over at her boyfriend. "Naw, I don’t think so… Hey, Taka!! Takaaaaa!!!"

The boy across the street winced and looked over at us like a deer caught in headlights. I laughed again.

"I’m dumping you for Ryuuen!" Miaka shouted. "Is that okay with you?!"

"Yeah, we’re eloping!" I added. "We’ll be back in April, after the honeymoon!"

"Oh? Where’re we going?" she inquired.

"Umm…Botswana?" I suggested.

"Sure! Taka!! We’re going to Botswana!" she called, heedless of the passers-by, who were regarding us as if we each had five heads.

"Okay, bye!" Taka replied cheerfully, waved, and walked away.

Miaka giggled again, and twined her arm around mine. "What history class is it that we’re headed to, anyway?"

"Victorian Britain," I said. "It’s a smaller class, but I’m sure it’ll be okay if you come w…"

"AHHH!!" squealed my friend once again, completely out of the blue. I jumped in surprise. "Saihitei!!!"

"Eeeehhh??!" I exclaimed in dismay.

But there he was, sitting calmly on a bench and reading his newspaper. He looked up as Miaka ran toward him, dragging me along with her. For my part, I was trying desperately to drag my heels into the ground…but to no avail. Jeez, that girl was strong.

"Well, hello," he said, nodding at both of us, golden eyes twinkling. "Where are you two headed?"

"Miaka, I have to get to class," I reminded her, trying to mask the fact that I was trying to ignore Saihitei…which…wasn’t very easy.

"Yeah!" Miaka said happily. "I’m going to class with Ryuu-chan! Wanna come, too?!"

"AHAHAHA, Miaka!!" I grinned forcefully, yanking her toward the history building. "I’m sure he has his own classes to attend! He’s a grad student! He’s busy! Busy, busy, busy…"

"Actually," said Saihitei smoothly, standing up, "I’m done for the day! I’d like to sit in on your class; it might be fun!"

Hey, make a run for it now; maybe you can lose him!

"Well, whatever, we’re gonna be late!" I took off at a run, dragging Miaka, who, from her silly laughter, was incredibly amused at the situation. Ha HA!! I thought triumphantly. He’ll NEVER find which room we’re in if we have a good head start!

We raced into the building, up two flights of stairs, and, panting, slid into the classroom just as the bell rang. Gasping for breath, I took my usual seat in the front (far right), and Miaka took the desk behind me.

Professor Burnet raised her eyebrows at me good-naturedly as I beamed up at her, ecstatic that we’d managed to evade poor Saihitei. However, my joy was short-lived, put to sudden death when the door creaked open, and in he walked, barely even winded.

"Hello," he greeted the professor politely, and sat down next to Miaka.

"A little family reunion, Ryuuen?" Professor Burnet asked.

My grin remained fixed, frozen in shock. How did he do it??? How can he POSSIBLY pop up EVERYWHERE I go??? "Ehhh….huh…"

The rest of the class tittered.

"We’re visiting!" Miaka said excitedly. "We’re…his brother and sister! Is it okay if we stay?"

"Certainly, if you’re this excited about the colonization of Africa, I’d be happy for the change in atmosphere."

The rest of the class tittered again. They had a thing for tittering, I guess.

The lecture began, and I immersed myself in taking notes; pretty soon, I had shoved everything from my mind except for Livingstone and Stanley and their Excellent Adventures. Nile…White Man’s Burden…Newspapers…Cannibalism and…wait a sec…

I raised my hand.

Professor Burnet interrupted herself in the middle of a sentence. "Yes? Question?"

"Umm…" I lowered my hand slowly. "Yeah. How much evidence is there that cannibalism really existed?"

"He’s so smart!" I heard Miaka whisper across the aisle to Saihitei, and promptly ignored it.

"I mean…" Try not to sound like a know-it-all, okay? "Isn’t it possible that the explorers just made that up to make their books more interesting? I mean, they talk about fighting man-eating lions and rabid hippos and stuff…why not add in a few cannibals? And then the Africans themselves could’ve made up stories of neighboring cannibal tribes to try to scare away all the people who were trying to steal their countries."

Behind me, there was a loud thunking sound followed by a tiny snore. I winced, realizing that Miaka had, completely without warning, fallen asleep at her desk.

The professor regarded her blankly for a moment, earning more giggles from the other students, before returning to my question. "That’s a very good question," she smiled. "To tell the truth, we can never really be sure…but it’s very possible, perhaps even probable, that cannibalism in Africa was not half as widespread as the exploration journals would lead us to believe…"

As she launched into the explanation, I returned to my notebook, hunching over it like a kid trying to keep his neighbor from cheating off of his test. Ahhh, why’d you have to go ask that question??? Now Saihitei probably thinks you’re a show-off…Wait, wait; how is that bad, exactly? Gah…it’s bad because I don’t want him to be repulsed by me.

I sighed.

~*~

"So, do you guys wanna come see a movie tonight?" Miaka asked on our way home. We had somehow managed to rouse her from her coma-like sleep, and she now appeared practically normal. This would fade in a few hours, I was pretty sure, and she’d have another slap-happy relapse.

"I’d enjoy that," said Saihitei. "I haven’t been to see a movie in ages."

"Ryuu-chan?"

"Ummm…not tonight, Miaka. Sorry," I said reluctantly. I did want to spend time with Miaka, but I…I just…

"Huh?? Why not??" She was disappointed. "You said we’d hang out!"

"We will!" I promised, feeling terrible. "We will. I just can’t tonight. Tomorrow, though, okay?"

Frowning, she put her hands in her pockets and studied the sidewalk as we walked. "Okay."

"…You’re not mad at me, are you?"

"Oh, Ryuu-chan." She wrapped her arm around mine and hugged it. "You’re always so worried about that. I’m not mad, I’m just being a baby. We’ll do stuff tomorrow."

When we got to Taka’s apartment, Miaka bade us farewell and, after telling Saihitei that she’d call him about the movie, went to see if Houjun and Gen-chan were still asleep. (They’d been out cold when the others had left.) From the evil little glint in her eye, I assumed that if they were, they’d be rudely and creatively awakened very, very soon.

I forced myself to look up at Saihitei. "Um…where are you headed? You don’t live around here, do you?"

"Mm." He shook his head. "I was going to get some coffee. Would you like to come along?"

Was it my imagination, or was he frowning the slightest bit? Before I could decide, I’d yanked my eyes away. "N-no, thanks. I’m…broke." Yeah. That’s it.

We cut across the street to the dorm, and I was just about to wave and make my escape when he said, "You’re trying to avoid me."

My eyes widened, and I clutched the strap of my satchel. For a split second, I met his gaze; then, I jerked my head off to the side. "I’m not."

"You are."

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I’ve frightened you. But I told you I wasn’t going to let anything interfere with a friendship. I…I don’t understand why you’re still so afraid."

"I’m not afraid," I countered, and right on cue, my voice shook a little. Damn you, voice. "I’m not trying to avoid you."

"You would have gone out with Miaka tonight if I hadn’t said I was going," he said quietly.

"You don’t know me," I mumbled, sounding somewhat strained to my own ears. "You don’t know me, so why do you pretend to know so much about me?"

Silence from the opposition.

"I’ll see ya." Without looking at him, not wanting to see the hurt and anger I was sure I’d inflicted, I turned and went inside.

~*~

Gen-chan called at nine-thirty to yell at me.

"Why the fuck are ya stayin home like a fuckin antisocial hermit?! Shit, it’s not like ya have class tomorrow! And Miaka’s gonna be fuckin gone in a few days! Crap, with this and the goddamn party last night…what the hell is wrong with you, man?"

I sat there and took it, too tired to argue. "I dunno."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line.

"Fuckin hell! This isn’t fuckin funny! And it ain’t fair, makin me worry about you like this! You’ve been actin like a goddamn mental case ever since that asshole Chuin freaked you out; has he been at you again? Cuz I swear ta God, if that mother-fuckin…"

"Gen-chan," I whispered.

"…Shit."

"I’m fine. I just haven’t been feeling too good lately," I said weakly. Stupid Saihitei; I was doing perfectly well until you showed up. "Chuin has nothing to do with it. I don’t want you to worry about me."

He gave a reluctant sigh. "Ya want me ta come keep ya company tonight?"

I smiled. "No, I’m just gonna go to bed early. Thanks, though. I’ll be better tomorrow."

"Ya fuckin better be," he growled. "I can’t take any more of this fuckin moody shit."

When we’d hung up, I stared at the blank TV screen for about ten minutes before deciding I was hungry. I scratched my head and put on my shoes, and headed out to buy myself a sandwich. I was, to say the least, completely and utterly unprepared for the lone, trench-coated figure sitting tragically on the bench outside my building.

I took a few steps back when I realized who it was. But he looked so…lost was too strong a word, maybe…but…it was along those lines, I guess. So I walked forward slowly, until I stood by his shoulder.

Saihitei looked up, eyes a bit bleary, and gave me a sad smile. "Oh, hey," he greeted.

"…Hi." My eyes wandered to a dark bottle he held in his right hand, and I realized he smelled like beer. Oh, great. Just GREAT. You’re mean to him, and he comes and sits outside your window like that My Fair Lady guy. And he’s drunk. Just PERFECT. I swallowed. "Are…you okay?" What do you THINK, you moron?? Does he LOOK okay?? Does he SMELL okay???

"It would’ve been so much easier," he mumbled.

I blinked. "…What would’ve been easier?"

"If I would’ve said ‘to hell with it.’ Wouldn’t it have been easier if I would’ve said to ‘to hell with it’?" He shot me an unfocused look. "’To hell with it. Even…even the Emperor needs to be happy sometimes…’"

"You used to love me, you know."

My heart froze in my chest. Wh…what?

He shook his head slowly, morosely. "And now…you’re scared. It’s my fault, and I…I don’t blame you…"

"S-Saihitei, it’s not…I mean…"

He stood a bit shakily and looked down at me, a good head taller than I was. Before I knew what he was doing, he’d raised a hand to the side of my face and was stroking my cheek with his thumb, surprisingly gentle for someone who was…well…drunk. I could only stare at him, jaw slack, too shocked to do anything else.

"You used to love me, Nuriko," he said, his voice breaking. "Why don’t you love me anymore?"

But the thought died in an instant as he leaned forward and…kissed me.

The street was silent around us. And the night grew suddenly warm.

TBC…

Notes: Gahhhh, my first literary kiss!! ^_^n Okay, so it wasn’t much…but…it’s the first one I’ve ever, ever, ever done. Hee hee. Kaze-chan really helped me out (by suggesting it, when I was gonna drag the whole tension thing out some more). We figured that if Hotohori didn’t kiss him now (conveniently drunk), he wouldn’t for a while. ^_^ And Kaze-chan had an interesting suggestion, which leads me to insert…

Kaze-chan: It could be like: "S-Saihitei, it’s not…I mean…" "You used to love me, Nuriko….Why don't you anymore?" KIIIIIISS

Mouse-chan: **cracks up**

(love the length of the KIIIIIISS)

Nerd Alert Note: Sorry for the history lecture….ehehe…but come on, I’m a history major!! ^_^ At least I didn’t go into Home Rule debates, or why the British women campaigning for women’s rights in India were usually only using that cause to promote their own….

Nuriko: **staples Mouse-chan’s mouth shut**