Disclaimers: I have Valentine’s Socks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But no Nuriko. And no Mits. And no Beatles song. The new song…I dunno who it’s by. ^^;; But it’s not mine, either. Hehe.

Warnings: Ummmm….psychological stuff. **shrug**

Notes: Ummmmmmmm….I’m too tired to think of notes!! **collective gasp** Gomeeeen!!!

Myojuan suddenly realized that he had lost the feeling in his entire right hand. After a few moments of silence, he turned to Barrington, who was fooling around with a small, pink packet of Sweet&Low. The man’s thin eyebrows were drawn together in thought as he turned the thing round and round between his fingers, soft brown eyes watching it spin with mild intensity before letting out a small "Hmm," and slipping it back into the white sugar bowl with its siblings. "Not a great fan of this. Of course, nothing is a very good substitute for real sugar, but in a pinch, I prefer the other kind…the blue packets. Equal, yes, that’s it."

"Ex…cuse me?" the new doctor croaked.

"Equal. The sugar substitute…Phenylalanine, or what have you. Don’t you think it tastes more like real sugar than the competition?" He picked up the Sweet&Low again with one slim, pale hand and waved it slightly in the air.

"That’s…not exactly what I meant," Myojuan said, waiting for a hidden camera to pop out from behind the plastic cafeteria plant and announce that he’d been part of a candid Equal commercial shoot. "What do you mean… ‘perfectly sane?’"

Barrington gave him a blank look. "Beg pardon? …Ohhhhh, your patient, yes, yes; well, hmm. You’ve obviously read his files." He offered a small, apologetic grin. "I have, as well, naturally…so…what does it say is wrong with him, exactly?"

Drumming his fingers once on the cool surface of the table, Myojuan launched into the list. "He won’t eat…"

"Which could be a physical disorder, am I right?"

The larger man blinked. "But…"

"I told them that. Well, I tried to, at least. I got him to eat something, but his stomach couldn’t take it. Attempted to make known that it was a physical reflex, but everyone wanted to believe it was self-induced, soooo…" he shrugged. "And, well, majority rules, I suppose."

"It also said…sexual identity issues?"

"Which is a complete load of crap," smiled Barrington cheerfully. "Every teenager in America, and most other countries, too, goes through such a stage. And even if it isn’t just a stage, well…the world is full of transvestites and drag queens, the normal proportion of whom are all perfectly sane. Except for that J. Edgar Hoover fellow, but he was hardly what one would call normal. But really, it’s nothing to put someone away for, now, is it? And then what? Delusions, hallucinations…"

Myojuan nodded.

"Well…I don’t know if he really sees things or not, I really don’t. All I know is, if he does, he’s awfully quiet about it. Usually, patients who have hallucinations…well, they’ll have nightmares, they’ll see terrible things and ramble on and on…but that’s far from the case, as I’m certain you’ve discovered."

He opened his mouth to ask the little man if he was one of those "new-fangled" doctors that believed in the supernatural. He didn’t want to sound scornful, but he was afraid he would, and managed to stop himself before he managed to alienate this incredibly strange but friendly coworker of his.

"Ah! Well, I…I’ve got to be off," said Barrington suddenly, rising briskly. "Have my own session to attend to. Interesting case, as well, though I don’t think I’ve been as lucky as you, my friend. That you were able to make that lad talk in one day…now, that’s really something to be proud of, you know. You, ahh, done for the day? Is young Ryuuen your only patient?"

"That’s right…yes."

"Well, perhaps that’s for the best…he certainly needs the attention," the Englishman said in approval, gathering up his things and throwing a wobbly smile at his fellow doctor. "It was a…pleasure meeting you, and may our paths cross again soon."

Standing as well, towering over his companion, Myojuan returned the smile and shook Barrington’s hand. He watched the man head out the door, then sat again, mulling.

He’d told Ryuuen, promised him, in fact, that he did not think he was insane. The lie had come quickly, a desperate reassurance, a ploy to get the boy to talk. There had really been no question in his mind that his patient was suffering from serious mental disorders. It had been right there, in black and white, right on the papers. But now, after what Barrington had said…the slightest shadow of doubt had been cast upon his clean-cut perception.

He didn’t know the other doctor, and therefore, it would be naïve to trust his word. But that did not change the fact that the tiniest of possibilities had been embedded in his brain, the tiniest hint of a question, and the nagging, troubling thought that…maybe Barrington was right.

But it wasn’t clear. Perhaps he looked a great deal like someone Ryuuen had known; it was certainly possible! And although the boy was most definitely in a state of emotional and mental strain, there was the possibility that the level of his neurosis had been exaggerated. Especially considering that no one had been able to talk to him about it yet.

It all made Myojuan’s head spin, but only encouraged him even more strongly to get to the bottom of whatever haunted the lad.

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Still, Tama did not understand. Cats were indeed strange, whimsical creatures.

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"Can I have some pizza?" was the first thing Ryuuen said when he entered the room the next day. The boy was in his normal position facing the window, arms around his knees, but he had actually turned when Myojuan had entered the room, and looked up at him with eager, violet eyes.

Myojuan paused in the doorway, eyebrows shooting up at this sudden mood transition. "Um, well…did you…eat what Nurse Ruth brought you yesterday?"

He gave a tiny nod. "I ate some of it, and I didn’t throw up. And then this morning they brought me a waffle, and I didn’t throw up."

The big doctor smiled warmly. "Well, I’m glad, Ryuuen. That’s wonderful. You didn’t even feel sick?"

A sheepish look crossed the still-pale face. "Ummm…I did a little. But it wasn’t bad."

"And now you’re ready to tackle pizza?" Myojuan chuckled.

"The food here sucks," said Ryuuen disapprovingly.

"Hm. Well, I’ll see what I can do." He moved to take his normal place on the bed. "Did you sleep well?" He thought he saw a slight hesitance in the nod that followed, and decided to follow up. "No nightmares? Nothing like that?"

The purple head shook. "No, I…I don’t have nightmares. Not usually. Do you have a pet?"

Whoah, nice try, little boy. But you’re not going to change the subject quite that easily. The cheerful demeanor, the sudden turn for the garrulous…it didn’t fit. It was too sudden, and betrayed the one who had clung to it. He could see the boy straining, if he looked carefully…it was far from obvious, but he could tell. To demonstrate that he wasn’t being fooled, he folded his arms across his chest and fixed Ryuuen with a skeptical eye.

The large eyes immediately grew serious, the smile fading away. "I don’t have nightmares," he repeated firmly. "Truly. Swear on the wings of Suzaku-seikun." One small hand went to his breast in an age-old gesture of earnestness.

"You said you were going to try to explain things to me today," Myojuan reminded him. "Have you thought about it?"

"You have a cat, right? You’re a cat person."

"Ryuuen."

"Do you have a girlfriend, too? You seem like the kind of guy who’d…"

"Ryuuen," he said, a bit more harshly than he’d intended. The boy’s mouth snapped shut, and he jerked back slightly in the chair with a startled blink. Gee, that’s just GREAT, he berated himself. Wonderful tactic; SCARE the kid, that’ll keep you on his good side. Quickly, he altered his tone. "Please," he said gently, inclining his head toward his charge. "Have you thought about it?"

The slim jaw clenched, the eyes tore away, and Ryuuen shook his head violently. His doctor, at first, took the action at face value…he hadn’t allowed himself to think of it, perhaps. But this assumption was overridden when he spoke, in a voice far displaced from his former cheerful chirping.

"Can’t."

It was a broken, weak whisper, and the head did not stop shaking. Ryuuen had, once again, adopted his defeated, defensive, slump-shouldered look; his face had abandoned its mask of composure, and he was once again a hurting, hopeless, fragile child. Myojuan struggled with words, found them—for the millionth time—slow in coming…but the silence seemed to speak for him.

"Can’t tell you. I just…I just…you won’t understand me. I thought about it, I really did, really, but…"

"Ryuuen." Ah, Voice. Finally decided to grace us with your revered presence. "What are you afraid of?"

No response, save heavy, slightly panicked breathing. But at least he had grown still.

Myojuan smiled reassuringly, even though he knew well that the boy couldn’t see it, and craned his head closer, on the off chance he would. "Do you think, whatever you tell me, it would be any stranger than some of the other crap I’ve heard?" he joked kindly. "For instance…one of my patients a few years ago was convinced that her spoons were plotting to kill her. I’m not kidding," he asserted, mouth twitching upward, as the violet eyes flickered toward him briefly, tinted with skeptical surprise. "It was… quite frightening. Now. Can you beat that for weirdness, do you think?"

A moment of hesitation, and suddenly, Ryuuen’s hands seemed to fascinate him. When he made no effort to move or reply, Myojuan decided to take the initiative; reaching out slowly with his left hand, he touched his fingers to Ryuuen’s right cheek and softly drew the face around to look at him. Once the head had turned—although the eyes still did not raise—he covered the entire cheek with his large hand, surprised at what a giant he seemed compared to his patient. He knew he was bigger than most, but compared to this boy, he was positively enormous. Gently, he stroked his thumb beneath Ryuuen’s right eye, trying to coax some eye contact out of him.

It worked. And once again, Myojuan was astonished at the depth of the anguish he saw shining behind those fearful irises.

"Don’t be afraid," he whispered, still painfully confused at the prospects of what could possibly have happened to evoke such behavior. Although he had tried hard to stay away from assumptions, he had not been one hundred percent successful in his attempt, and, to tell the truth, he was leaning toward some kind of emotional abuse…perhaps even sexual abuse. It wouldn’t have been the parents…no, that wouldn’t make sense, because they had put him in therapy, and probably would not have done so if they’d been the cause of his troubles, from the fear that it would come up in the session. But some relative, or a friend… He made himself repress the sudden feeling of pure rage that swelled through his veins at the mere thought of someone hurting Ryuuen.

The boy, meanwhile, was studying him hesitantly, clearly torn; as Myojuan pondered the situation, keeping half of his attention on Ryuuen and half on the spinning thoughts inside his head, he was yanked back into the present by yet more feeble words.

"You have to promise," the small voice trembled, the fine eyebrows squeezing together. "Promise…you won’t leave. If I tell you, don’t leave…don’t leave me alone." He looked so desperate, and almost as if he was certain that Myojuan would, in fact, abandon him as soon as he spilled. Although the big doctor had promised several times already to stay with the boy for as long as possible, he did not pause before assuring Ryuuen that, of course, he would stay with him.

"Nothing you can tell me will make me leave you," he said solemnly, and saw a tiny spark of hope in the large eyes…vague hope, as if Ryuuen were frightened that the only thing that could come of hoping would be that hope being cruelly and completely smashed.

But, he seemed to take heart from the comforting statement. Letting out a shaky, nervous breath, he closed his eyes once more, and, after a few false starts, began to speak…

~~*~~
Dans mes rêves, j’entends une voix
Qui me dit « Ne pleure pas »
Quel dommage, mes yeux sont des sources claires.

Notes: Okay…so, if anybody has comments about how this version of a psychiatric institute is total BS **looks pointedly and pleadingly at Roku-chan** please do not hesitate to tell me, and I will amend my heathen ways. ^_~ Hope you guys liked this! Have fun!