Warnings: Sap, bandit language, melodrama, blahhhhhhhhhhhhh….

Notes: Ahh, I gotta go really quick, but I wanna post this first! So…sorry! Not many notes todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…hope you likey!

Sai explained the whole thing right then and there, about how Chuin was really Tomo and Kaen was really Soi and Miboshi trying to gather the Seiryuu seishi (and probably already succeeded with some) and knock off all the Suzaku while he was at it. Well…not the whole thing. He kinda left out the part about me and Chuin specifically, opting instead to say that Chuin had "attacked us," in general. A little anonymity never hurts, and I can’t say I wasn’t relieved that he hadn’t mentioned Chuin Specifics to a perfect stranger who used to be our arch nemesis. He told Ayuru about Houjun and the others going off to follow Chuin’s built-in Seiryuu Tracker, and how we needed his help to do the same, to save precious time and prevent the destruction of the world and all that fun stuff.

He took in the story, displaying little in the way of emotion, looking at Sai evenly and blinking every now and then. Finally, when all had been said, he lifted his fair eyebrows the slightest bit and folded his hands in his lap.

"You want me to sense…where the other Seiryuu seishi are," he said calmly, his voice betraying a hint of skepticism.

Sai nodded. "It seems silly, I know. But it works. We know from experience." And we did; the previous November, when we’d all gone to New York City in a frantic attempt to locate Houjun (but that’s another story), all logical attempts to find him had failed. We’d wound up in a sandwich place right across the street from where Houjun had been sitting in the window of a restaurant; it could have been luck, but built-in Seishi Tracking would make just as much sense, if not more. Two years ago, I would have been just as incredulous as Ayuru at such a suggestion. But, jeez. I’m a reincarnated crossdresser from a different universe who can lift stuff twenty times my own weight. What the hell; anything goes.

Though he still looked dubious, Ayuru gave a hesitant nod. "I…I’ll try to help. I can’t guarantee anything. I’m not used to this sort of thing; I might lead you all on a wild goose chase."

"Now’d be a fuckin good time for another one of those goddamn clue mirror things to show up," Gen-chan muttered, still slumped in his chair like a blob with an attitude problem.

Sai ignored him, and gave Ayuru a grateful smile. "Thank you. Without you, I don’t know how we’d be able to do it."

The blond guy returned the smile wryly. Standing, he folded his arms across his chest. "Let me go home and collect a few things, as we’re none of us certain exactly how long this search will last. If we’re not successful in finding the Seiryuu seishi, it would be wise to have a back-up plan; but we can discuss this at length in the days to come. I’ll give you my address; perhaps you could come by in an hour or two."

I was slightly awed by the sudden switch to Shogun Mode, and just nodded as Ayuru handed his street number to Sai and headed toward the door. Ayuru’s strategic memories would certainly come in handy, I realized, and was suddenly very, very glad that he was coming with us. He was Ayuru, after all, and he apologized about stuff.

Sai then turned to Myojuan with a rather passive look on his face, and commented, "Well. So, there are the five of us, plus potentially up to three more Seiryuu seishi to fit in whatever vehicle we choose to take. Maybe even more, if we find Kaen, and I haven’t even considered any random Genbu or Byakko seishi we might find. How will we transport all these people?"

He and Myojuan stared at each other for a long while before Myojuan finally shook his head and sighed. Standing up, he went to get his coat from the hook. "All right, all right," he said, but not unkindly. "I’ll borrow the van from Murasuke."

"VAAAAAAAAAN!" I exclaimed happily, jumping up and down a little bit. "Our trusty van! It carried us so steadfastly, and now destiny has once again entwined our two paths…"

"What the fuck’re ya tryin ta do, fuckin Shakespeare for Cars?!" Gen-chan exclaimed, shoving my head away; teasing, not rough. I laughed, and raced up the stairs to grab a shower. This time, because I actually needed one. Hardly anything to do with dreams of Chuin. Hardly anything at all.

~*~

I was surprised to find, when I had emerged shiny and clean from the bathroom, that Gen-chan didn’t need to return to his own place to get anything. He didn’t say anything beyond the fact that he had everything he needed, but I figured he must have brought it over when he heard about what had almost happened to me. No, he would’ve come right away when he heard, so probably he’d gone back for stuff while I was sleeping with Sai in the rocking chair. He had intended to stay with me, I supposed, and the thought made me smile. ‘A man is no failure who has friends.’

Myojuan managed to wrestle the beloved van from Shouka’s brother once again; the guy, going by reputation, was probably only too happy to downsize. When we had all finished getting our bags together, Sai and Myojuan were locking up the house, and Gen-chan and I had piled into the familiar old van, I snuggled back into the middle armchair seat and sighed. I don’t know why, but road trips with the people I loved always gave me a cozy feeling that even overshadowed the important world-saving task at hand. Just the closeness of it, the togetherness…

"MRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" burped Genrou.

Eyes flying open, I felt my nose scrunch up of its own accord, and I turned around to glare at him. "D’ya mind??! We’re in a confined area, here!"

"Ah, don’t be such a fuckin priss."

"Just cuz I don’t wanna smell your breakfast from here to California doesn’t mean I’m a priss!"

"Ahhh, shove it, Ryuu-chan."

I threw a book at him. "Stooooooooooooooooop!"

"What the fuck?" he said, upon examining the small object more closely. "The Great War and Modern Memory?"

"Give it back, it’s for my thesis."

"Wait, wait a fuckin minute…" He held the book out of my reach and gave me a weird look. "You said we were all excuuuuuuuuuused from classes from the rest of the fuckin semester, courtesy of the fuckin Creator of the Universe who ya whacked with a mallet."

I sighed impatiently, holding out an expectant hand. "I did, we are, don’t bend it! Will you give it back, pleeeeeeeease?"

"Why the fuck’re ya still workin on the goddamn thesis??!"

"Well, I’m not gonna cheat!"

"Like taking fuckin credit for classes ya don’t take doesn’t count as fuckin cheatin?!"

"We can’t go to class, Genrou! We have to save the world!" I reminded him, defensive.

He smirked, waving my book in the air. "Fuckin thesis more important than the world? Christ, don’t look the fuckin gift horse in the mouth!"

"That’s it," I said, unbuckling my seat belt, "I’m comin back there."

"Ooooooooooooooooh," Gen-chan said in mock, high-pitched terror, putting his hand to his cheek and fluttering his eyelashes. "No, no, anything but Ryuuen!"

By now, I was mostly kidding, and jumped on him with a roar, trying to grab for the book and tickle him at the same time. He gave a startled bark, tried to shove me away, and wound up wrapping his elbow around my neck to keep me still, twisting my body away from him. I was laughing and he was cursing rather jovially, and it was all in good fun, until…

"Ahh!" I gasped as his elbow tightened slightly around me, feeling an almost sharp pain shoot through the side of my neck. "Ow, ow…" Wresting myself away from Genrou without managing to break his arm or anything—his arms had gone limp as soon as I’d cried out, making it fairly easy to escape—I fell to my knees on the floor of the van, my hand pressed against my neck.

"Shit!" Genrou exclaimed, regarding me in horror. "What the fuck happened?!"

Mortified, I scrambled back into my chair, turning my face away from my friend and drawing my knees up to my chest. I kept my hand on my neck, hiding the marks, feeling my pulse quivering through the veins there… and it all came back, Sai with different eyes, kissing me like an animal, biting down on my neck, attacking me in my nightmares… I heard Gen-chan moving over beside me, felt his hand on my shoulder and flinched back.

"…Ryuuen?"

"Why won’t it go away?" I whispered shakily, not turning to face him, clutching myself even tighter. "Why won’t it just go away?"

The hand touching me hesitated, then slipped around my back, squeezing gently; my eyes were closed, and I hunched up my shoulders involuntarily, embarrassed to have my heart laid bare, to conjure up more pity…I didn’t want pity. I just…I couldn’t try to hide it…

With a jerk, I ran a hand across my eyes and tried to take a breath. "I’m sorry, Gen-chan…I’m sorry, I’ll stop, I’m okay…" But he’d already tugged me to lean against him, my head still facing away, and held me loosely.

"The hell you are," he muttered, "and the hell you will. If you fuckin pretend nothin’s wrong when it’s fuckin plain as day, you’ll…shit, I dunno. You’ll dress up like fuckin Kourin again, or somethin."

"I just wish it’d all go away, and I wouldn’t have to think about it anymore and Sai wouldn’t have to worry, and you wouldn’t have to worry, and everything could just be back to normal," I quavered. "I hate this, I hate everyone being so worried because of me and I hate that I can’t control it, cuz I’d stop if I could…and I try, but I can’t. It keeps coming back."

He snorted. "Shit, Ryuuen, it happened Saturday night!! That’s less than a fuckin day and a half ago, and you spent the whole entire fuckin night alone, with that fucker in the closet right in front of you! I’m no fuckin expert on this kinda stuff, but jeez, man! Give yourself some fuckin time before ya start bangin yer head against the fuckin wall!"

The little voice in my head said he was probably right, but I didn’t want to accept it. "I should be stronger than this, though."

"For fuck’s sake, stop whinin about bein human," he said, rubbing his fist in my hair, a hint of humor in his tone. "If ya don’t fuckin accept the fact that ya have every goddamn fuckin right and reason to be upset, well…repression ain’t gonna help the recovery process, here. If ya need to talk about it, fuckin talk about it. If ya need to cry, fuckin cry; it’s better’n tryin to fuckin stop thinkin about it."

"But you and Sai…"

His hand went to my face, squeezing my cheeks together before I could say anything else. "I’m not the brightest fuckin star in the sky, but if Sai doesn’t think the same thing, he’s fuckin playin ya, and I really don’t think he is. And if any one of our friends slips up for a fuckin second and lets ya do the fuckin bottle-up-emotions thing…"

"You’ll kick their ass?" I guessed.

With a fangy grin, he released my face and leaned away. "You bet yer fuckin sappy starry eyes I will."

I snickered. "Did you just say ‘starry’?" Images of Genrou dressed in some sort of floaty gauze dress, dancing about in the night sky, popped into my head.

His hands flew away from me in record time, and he picked up his Macho Banditness once more. "Ya know, ya try to have a meaningful conversation…" He started to make his way back to the back seat, ranting about me bringing out some sort of evil sap demon that must have possessed him, but I stopped him before he could go, putting my arms around his neck.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, nooooo," he groaned. "No more fuckin sap, I’ll die…"

"Thanks, Gen-chan," I said quietly, trying to be serious despite wanting to giggle at his sudden gruffness. "It means a lot, I mean, that you don’t think I’m being stupid and…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said, gripping my wrists—but gently—and pushing my arms away from him. "Whatever, sure…"

I hugged my knees and smiled, listening as he smoothly changed the subject to "What The Hell Is Taking Sai And Juan So Long," and by the time said tardy companions were seen leaving the house and approaching the van, the panic had faded. I didn’t know when it would come back, but if it did…when it did…

It really was a relief, knowing that Gen-chan didn’t think I was being a pain. But as far as burdening my friends, especially Genrou and Sai, with my own problems…I didn’t know that I’d do that. I’d already worried them enough, after all, and I didn’t want to be a basket case for however long it took. I couldn’t sleep in a bed, I’d already had nightmares, Sai had spent so much time with me that he hadn’t even taken a break to eat… It wasn’t good for them, and I wasn’t about to let the whole group sink into whatever hole of despair just because of me. Especially not with Miboshi out there, collecting reincarnated seishi left and right.

~*~

Ayuru lived in an apartment about three miles from the college campus, and it was funny to picture him trying to do paperwork or something with the students surrounding him blasting Lucky Boy’s Confusion. He was waiting on the stoop when we pulled up, looking eerily like a boy scout. He was wearing loose jeans and a khaki button-down T-shirt, which only added to the former impression…which was just weird.

He threw us a small, slightly lop-sided smile and went to throw his navy blue duffel bag in the trunk, coming around to sit alongside Myojuan in the front seat. No one said anything for quite some time after the first tentative words of greeting; Ayuru twisted stiffly in his seat to nod at me and Sai and Genrou in the back. Genrou was slouching grumpily, but Sai smiled, and I grinned and waved, making a solemn vow not to hold the past against him.

"Before I forget," he said after a while, "I think I have something here that belongs to you." His eyes were directed at Gen-chan, who stirred a bit and grunted, more unwilling than the rest of us to forgive the poor guy. But when Ayuru produced a long, paper-wrapped object and passed it back, my friend’s brown eyes widened, and he straightened.

"What the…" he mumbled, holding the thing on his lap. Only seconds later, he was picking at the brown wrapping almost delicately, trying to uncover its contents.

"It was found last fall, the night you were brought in," Ayuru explained. "No one could figure out what it was; I remembered it, somehow, and I knew it was yours, so I told them it was probably part of the building that had caught fire. Some sort of strange prop, or something."

By now, Genrou had unmasked the object…and it was revealed to be his tessen, the one he’d had in the book and Keisuke had found at a pawn shop somewhere, about which we’d almost forgotten. His eyes gleamed, and a rather scary smile spread across his face, making him look like some sort of creature of the night.

"Ehehehehehe," he laughed, sounding more than slightly maniacal, and I had to resist the urge to hide under the seat. Tossing the paper in the back with the luggage, my friend tested the weight of his weapon, and I remembered that he’d never really had it when he’d been conscious of his memories. This was probably, for Genrou, just as thrilling as meeting seishi. Whipping it through the air, he pointed the thing directly at Ayuru, and said, in a self-assured growl, "Thanks, pal! Really fuckin thoughtful of ya… Is it just me, or do I sense a little payback in the works for that blue-light special ya gave me last…"

"TASUKI!" Myojuan roared, and Gen-chan nearly dropped the tessen, his expression changing from menacing to guilty in a split second. "NOT IN THE VAN!!"

Ayuru’s expression, meanwhile, had never faltered, and he simply turned back to the windshield, leaving Gen-chan muttering in the back. I looked over at Sai, who had his eyes closed and was pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, and giggled.

The van was silent for a few minutes as we collected our senses, but finally, Sai sighed and looked up again, Gen-chan put his tessen safely on the floor, and Myojuan cleared his throat, turning to Ayuru with almost eerie calm, considering his latest outburst.

"So," he said, "where to?"

Note: Lucky Boy’s Confusion is an Illinois-based band, and they’re pretty cool. Woo.

Myojuan: All right, all right, I’ll borrow the van from Murasuke!

Ryuuen: VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!! **jumps into red guymelef, goes bug-eyes** MOERO MOERO MOERO!!*

*By the way, in the last chapter, I spelled Dilandau "Dirandu" because I like the way it sounds better. ^_~ So I’m just a snob, but am I wrong??!? Hehe.

Ryuuen: Especially not with Miboshi out there, collecting reincarnated seishi left and right.

**Cut to Miboshi, placing Hikitsu and Tomite on a little shelf and scratching off their names on the Master Card of FY Collectibles**

Miboshi: This would be a hell of a lot easier if they made us into action figures!!!

Mouse-chan: Hai, I know. That’s why I should own FY. I’d make action figures! And sheets!!

All: **cheer**