Disclaimer: Blahdeblah.

Warnings: Shounen ai, sap, rocking chairs, evil beds…lots of angst in this chapter. ^^;;

Notes: I reeeeally wanna thank you reviewer people for being so nice. ^_____^ You all make me so cheery!! No, not Chiri…cheery. :P I’m reeeeally incredibly glad you guys liked the last two chapters. Aaaand…I hope you like this one, too. ^^;;;

"Now…" Taka began slowly, "Chuin knows who he was. He’s apparently been awakened to some of his memories, but nowhere near all of them. The main thing he received, as far as Myojuan and I could tell, was his powers…and he claims it was Miboshi who gave them to him."

I recognized the name, although I didn’t know why. All I knew was that it made me shiver even more.

Sai was silent, and Taka elaborated. "He says Miboshi is searching for the rest of the Seiryuu Seishi, and eventually, Seiryuu no Miko. Miboshi gave him his shin…and he regained his powers of illusion. He lost those powers when Ryuuen stepped on the shell and broke it. And he said…Miboshi sent him to…to destroy the Suzaku…"

"Why Ryuuen?" Sai whispered harshly. "Where’s the sense in that? What possible logic is there behind that? Even considering how much it would hurt us…"

"He wasn’t sent to attack Ryuuen," Taka interrupted weakly, sounding suddenly tired. "He was sent…he was sent after Miaka, to stop her from summoning Suzaku again."

There was a long, uncomfortable pause, and my entire body went numb.

I was shaking my head slowly, trapped in this new horror. Picturing Miaka in my position was more frightening to me than remembering my own experience, and suddenly…suddenly I was glad it had been me.

"No," I whispered, breaking the silence that had fallen, and Taka and Sai both turned their heads to look at me. Sai immediately looked worried again, and took a step toward me and Genrou, but I spoke again before he could. "Wh…where is she? Where’s M…Miaka?"

"Shhhh," said Gen-chan, holding me steady. "She’s downstairs. She’s right downstairs. She came with me, ‘kay? She’s okay."

I had to see her, though; I had to see her with my own eyes. Pulling away from my best friend, I pushed myself unsteadily to my feet, and took a few shaky steps toward the door. But Sai slid in front of me and intercepted me, taking my shoulders in his hands.

"Stop," he said softly. "I think you need to stay put for a while, all right? You’re tired, you’ve been through too much…"

"Please," I begged earnestly, trying to keep my voice from wavering despite the fact that I was fighting tears once again. "Please, Sai…please let me see her, please…I have to see her."

He studied my face for a long moment before giving me a slow nod. "All right; all right. We’ll all go downstairs, all right? Myojuan can stay up here…" He glanced over at Taka, who nodded his approval. And before I could even thank him, he had leaned down and swept me up in his arms, moving smoothly out the door and down the stairs. I tried to protest, to tell him I could walk…but remembered I had practically proved myself wrong just moments ago, and settled for gripping onto him tightly.

"I knew the fuckin mountains would make you well," Gen-chan teased from behind us in a shaky falsetto, trying to make everything normal again. I managed a weak smile over Sai’s shoulder, to show him I appreciated his effort, because…

We turned into the den, and saw Miaka and Doukun sitting together on the couch and talking. Doukun had his back to me. Miaka looked worried…but she was safe. And when she noticed us approaching, her eyes went wide, and she stood up quickly, one hand pressed to her heart.

Sai let me slip gently to the ground, keeping one arm around my waist to support me. My knees felt just about as sturdy as marshmallows, but as Miaka rushed toward me, I slid out of Sai’s grip, taking about three steps before sinking to my knees with a small grunt. My boyfriend’s hands reached out quickly to grab my waist, and Miaka caught my shoulders and hugged me silently, having dropped to the ground herself.

"Ryuu-chan…are you…" Her voice was shaking. "Are you all right?"

I opened my mouth to tell her I was fine, but I couldn’t get any words out…so I nodded against her shoulder. We sat there for longer than was probably necessary, hugging on the floor with Sai kneeling beside me and rubbing light circles on my back.

"I’m so glad," she whispered.

"Awww, what the hell…group hug," Gen-chan said, his cocky face in place once more as he plopped himself down on the other side, wrapped his arms around me and Miaka, and squeezed, clonking all three of our heads together.

"Ack!" cried Miaka, and rubbed her head. "Gen-chaannnnnnn!!!"

He guffawed and stood up. "C’mon, help me get some food…Ryuu-chan looks like he’s fuckin emaciated over there."

Immediately cheerful, Miaka jumped to her feet and followed Genrou into the kitchen, the two of them talking and laughing

as Sai scooped me up again and swung me over to the couch, settling in the corner with his arms securely around me. I was glad Miaka and Gen-chan were trying to act normal…but underneath…I knew they were doing the act mostly for me, trying to be cheerful so that their own worries wouldn’t make me feel even worse. But just that realization made me feel kind of bad, like I had a part in repressing their emotions. And emotions, especially strong ones, shouldn’t be repressed…it just hurts more that way.

The thought struck me suddenly, and I clutched unconsciously at Sai’s arm, listening to her laughing, laughing to make me feel better. Sai put his hand on the side of my chin and turned my head to look at him; he still looked worried. I wished he didn’t.

"What is it?" he said, very softly, so only I could hear him.

"Tell Taka not to tell Miaka," I requested in a whisper. "She’ll think…it’s her fault somehow, and I don’t want that, I don’t want that…"

He drew my head to his shoulder, keeping his hand pressed warm against the side of my face. "I think…we have to tell everyone the truth," he murmured. "Don’t you think so? If we’re going to deal with whatever Taka was beginning to explain…I think that’s important, don’t you?"

He was right. I knew he was right, even if I didn’t like it…even if I hated it. Blinking back tears—damn it, I just couldn’t seem to escape them!!—I watched as Taka made his way over to the kitchen door and called for Miaka and Genrou.

"Hey. Fang boy. Save the snacks for later, okay? We all…we have to talk."

The laughter stopped almost immediately, and they shuffled back into the den. Gen-chan, despite his earlier tendency toward goofing, was silent again as he deposited himself in the armchair next to our side of the couch; Miaka went to sit in the middle of the couch, between us and Doukun, who I realized had been awfully quiet…

"Okay," sighed Taka, standing in front of us like a relaxed and friendly drill sergeant, "Miaka…did you call Houjun?"

She nodded. "He’s on his way…he said, when he picked up the phone, that he was just about to call us!"

Taka nodded, putting his hands on his hips. "We all know why we’re here, I think…Chuin, for those who don’t remember much of the past, is the reincarnation of Tomo, a Seiryuu no Shichiseishi. He cast the illusion of Saihitei’s appearance over himself, and…tried to attack our brother."

Gen-chan muttered some curses, and Miaka had gone pale…I guess they hadn’t known about the whole illusion thing, how I had thought he was Sai and it hurt so much that he’d

"It’s over," Sai whispered, for my ears only. Maybe he’d felt my heart pounding. "We’re all here, and you’re safe." I drew a breath and promised myself I wouldn’t think about it anymore, because Sai was right…it was over. And nothing happened.

"Myojuan and I have talked to Chuin, and he’s…he regrets what happened." Taka shot a warning glance over at Genrou, who kept his mouth clamped shut, but glared dangerously at our friend. "He says—and we believe him—that he was being used by a greater power than himself to try to damage the followers of Suzaku…"

"Miboshi," Doukun said abruptly, his voice calm and clear. "I know it’s him. I can feel it."

Genrou looked as confused as I felt—in a glary sort of way—so Sai took it upon himself to explain. "Miboshi…was one of the Seiryuu no Shichiseishi," he said softly. "Chiriko defeated him, at the cost of his own life."

"Miboshi," Taka confirmed after a slight pause. "According to T…to Chuin, Miboshi is…he’s trying to gather the rest of the Seiryuu to summon the god here…which probably means he’ll be after Yui-chan, as well."

"What the hell’s he doin, summonin the fuckin god?!" Gen-chan exclaimed. "What kinda crack’s he smokin??! He just on a fuckin power trip, or what??!"

Taka shook his head. "He doesn’t know. All he knows is…along with trying to find the Seiryuu, Miboshi’s also trying to defeat the rest of the Seishi, of all denominations…beginning with us. Apparently, he might hold a slight grudge against the people who were the cause of his ultimate demise…"

"Why would he go after Ryuuen?" Doukun said, still eerily calm. "Nuriko wasn’t even alive when we encountered Miboshi. If it was revenge he was after, why not go after me?"

"Tomo attacked Ryuuen because…he’s in love with him," Taka said.

Don’t think about it.

"Miboshi gave him his powers back, and it was enough to corrupt him. He…he saw he had the power to take what he wanted, and…"

But Taka trailed off, unable to finish. "He wasn’t ordered to attack Ryuuen," he said softly, and looked pointedly at Miaka with sorrowful eyes. "If they could make sure Suzaku no Miko couldn’t perform her duties…"

I couldn’t watch her face; I shut my eyes tightly, turning my face so that I was even closer to Sai’s warm, comforting body. In the silence that followed, I heard our hearts beat together…mine fast, his slower, and steady…steady…

"B…but…Taka," Miaka said in a small voice, disbelieving. "You and I…we already…"

"The Seiryuu don’t know that," I heard Taka reply bitterly. "And frankly, I don’t think Miboshi would care."

"Taka…"

There was a rustling sound, and then quiet sniffling…I imagined that Taka had gone to hug Miaka just as Sai was hugging me, and I was glad.

"Taka, if I can’t summon Suzaku…"

"We can’t think about that," Doukun said firmly. "All we need to focus on now is finding the Seiryuu seishi before Miboshi. We’ve already unwittingly located one: Kaen. And she isn’t evil, or even suspicious. She’d never acquiesce to ally with Miboshi. We have to get her and keep her with us, where she’s safe… Taka, did Chuin say if he’d gotten anyone else besides him?"

After a slight pause, Taka replied, "Myojuan asked him; he said he didn’t know, but…Miboshi had spoken of the need to find others, so he hasn’t gotten all of them."

"We need to find the rest of them, as quickly as we can," Sai agreed. "However, I think we should wait until Chichiri arrives to plan anything definite. It won’t be long."

"What, he can’t fuckin teleport, or whatever the fuck he does?" Gen-chan grumbled.

Sai shifted beneath me, and suddenly, I felt him standing, still carrying me; finally, I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. "Until then, then, I’m putting Ryuuen to bed; will you please tell me when he gets here?"

"Sai, I’m not…"

"You’re not arguing with me," he insisted gently as we headed toward the stairs. "You need to sleep, you didn’t sleep all night."

I was tired. Incredibly tired. And as much as I didn’t want to be a burden, a voice that sounded a lot like Sai’s told me that I’d probably be even more of a burden if I was overtired. As we left the room, everyone called out a soft goodnight, and Miaka added, "We love you." I wished I could tell them I loved them, too…but a big lump had formed in my throat, and I couldn’t do much more than wheeze.

When we got to the bedroom, I was struck without warning by a sudden, urgent need to wash myself, and I managed to get the message across to Sai in rather choppy, embarrassed sentences. He smiled at me and nodded before I’d finished, though I thought his eyes looked kind of sad. Setting me down by the bathroom door, he made sure I had a towel and enough shampoo and stuff…but then, another fear crossed my mind.

I didn’t want Sai in there with me while I cleaned myself up…but I also didn’t want him to leave me for even a second, because I wanted to be absolutely certain he was himself. As I hesitated in the doorway, though, he seemed to read my mind.

"I’m going to stay right here, right by the door," he told me, stepping around me. "And I want you to talk to me, all right? And I’ll…I’ll talk back. So you’ll know it’s me."

My eyes almost filled again upon hearing this declaration of loyalty, and I nodded. Moving into the bathroom, I shut the door quietly and started drawing water for a bath. And he started talking over the harsh sound of the faucet, telling me all about his trip to his uncle’s estate.

It was strange…being alone in the small room. Even though I could still hear Sai’s voice nearby, it was still strange. There was no one there but me. No one to worry about but myself. It started a brief panic inside me; if I had to worry about myself, I’d have to remember what had happened, and all I wanted to do was forget it and move on. I tried to numb my mind to it, though, and I suppose it kind of worked, because I managed to avoid another total emotional collapse.

My greatest surprise came when I looked in the mirror. I’d tried to avoid it, because I knew seeing my own reflection would make what had happened seem more real than it had, but when I found myself succumbing to the sick desire to look anyway, I hadn’t really thought it would be so bad.

I was even paler than usual. My eyes were more sunken than usual, red and puffy from all the crying I had done; my hair was disgusting from not having washed it yet, my skin looked sweaty and feverish. And there was a sizable, bluish-purple bruise on my face, starting on the right side of my bottom lip and spreading to the corner of my mouth. And then, on the side of my neck…more bruises, running down to my collarbone.

I brought trembling fingers to my lip, rubbing lightly against the wound to see if it would hurt. It did.

"Ryuuen, are you all right in there?" Sai’s voice called from outside. "Do you need anything?"

I swallowed, my gaze trailing to the tub, which was nearly three-fourths of the way full. Leaning down to turn off the water, I called back, "N-no, I’m…I’m fine, I don’t need anything." Except that flashy thing from Men In Black that erases all these memories…

He kept on talking as I slowly removed my pajamas—which I would never wear again—and sank into the warm water, telling me of his plane ride, the beauty of his late great uncle’s estate, and how he’d left almost the entire place to his young and beautiful Puerto Rican housekeeper. When I had still not finished by the end of that story, he went on to speak of the past life, his daily rituals as the Emperor of Konan. When I had still not finished, he talked about books he had read, movies he had enjoyed…anything. I felt bad, making him sit there for so long. But every time I rinsed the soap from my body, every time I washed the shampoo from my hair…it didn’t seem like it was enough, like I’d missed a spot somewhere, or something. So I let the tub drain and refill again, and begin the whole process over. I might have stayed there all day, but the thought of poor Sai being so kind and waiting for me and talking himself hoarse made me force myself to stand up and end it, drying myself off with a huge blue towel and donning a fresh pair of pajamas, yellow with a royal blue collar and pockets.

Sai was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, when I timidly opened the door. I had combed my hair flat—I hated using a blower, because it made everything so dry—and brushed my teeth, into the bargain; when I emerged, he stood up, and said, "Feel better?"

I did—sort of—so I nodded, offering a little smile.

"You look so tired," he murmured, drawing me close to plant a kiss atop my wet head. "Come on…into bed, I’ll stay with you…"

I gripped his hand. "Sai…not the bed…please." Not that it made sense, but I found myself lacking the vocabulary to clarify.

Yet again, he seemed to understand, and yet another painful expression crossed his face. But he smiled again, and nodded, picking me up and toting me out of the room and into the next one. I didn’t know how relieved I was to be out of that room until we left; it was like he’d read my mind before I’d even read it myself.

The other room was slightly smaller, with blue-flowered wallpaper. The bed was different…tidy and white and clean…but I just…

But I couldn’t help it, and I turned my face to Sai, unable to look him in the eye. "Um…I’m sorry…I c…I can’t…"

"I know," he assured me, taking the extra quilt that was folded at the foot of the bed. "Don’t worry. And don’t be sorry." And I noticed he was heading over to the rocking chair on the other side of the night stand, a big grandma-type one with wooden arms and an embroidered seat. Turning around, he sat down and leaned back, so that I was lying against him with my knees drawn up, shins pressed against the arm. With one hand, Sai took the quilt and tucked it around me, then rested one arm around my shoulder, and the other around my waist.

"Is this all right?" he wanted to know.

It was more than all right. I felt so safe…so warm…

"Sai…" I said in a small voice.

"Mm?" He had begun rocking the chair gently.

There was so much I wanted to say.

But what I really said was, "I love you." I hoped he couldn’t tell I had started to cry again.

He lay his cheek on top of my head, and for a while, I was certain that he wasn’t going to answer me, that he was just caring for me now out of old loyalty. But then he said, "I love you, too. More than anything in the world."

And although I knew I didn’t deserve it, I was glad. I was so glad that I couldn’t help the teary sniffles that escaped as I hugged him, alerting him to my broken-down state. But he didn’t say anything, just reached out and wiped them away and started humming gently, something old and beautiful. And despite myself, it wasn’t long before I had fallen fast asleep.

I was too exhausted to dream.

Notes: ^^;;; Whoahhh, that chapter was pretty long!!! Maybe it answered a couple questions, though. ^_^ In case it didn’t: the reason poor Chichiri hasn’t been in this story yet is because he’s over in Indiana with Kouran. ^_^ Miaka came down for Valentine’s Day to spend it with Taka, but since Chichiri and Kouran live together anyway, they didn’t need to travel. And V-day isn’t really a group holiday, so that’s why he stayed at home. **nodnod**

As far as the Tomo thing goes…I’m going under the idea that shin had a lot to do with Tomo’s less-than-pleasant personality. I don’t know if there’s anything out there that would disprove that, but…**shrug** I’d be anxious to hear, if there is. If there is…just pretend that’s the way it is. ^__^() Heehee.

And the stupid joke that Tasuki makes about the mountains…ehehehe. That’s supposed to be a reference to Heidi. You know…there’s the girl Clara, who can’t walk…and then she vacations in the Alps and is miraculously cured by the fresh air and sheep? ^_^() It’s not a good joke, but it’s kinda not supposed to be, since Tasuki’s really stretching here. ^^;; And why does Tasuki know the story of Heidi???…cuz he’s got about five sisters!! ^_^

Ryuuen: Bonds. Seishi bonds.

Ryuuen: The bed was different…tidy and white and clean…

Snuggles the Bear: That’s cuz you used Downy liquid detergent with color guard!!!

Ryuuen: …

Snuggles the Bear: I will steal your soul!!!

Ryuuen: AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

~.~()