| SOM: Ressurrection |
| (This is an add-on fic for anybody that would be involved, as long as you stay with the subject, and your post is relevant to the storyline. I'd like some MH to post on this fic a little, and anybody who's had any interaction with the SoM in the past IC-ly or in the UCs to stick their two cents into this fic. LotMU and FUBAR are encouraged to post as well, but this will be a moderately serious fic, and if you don't feel you're capable of doing this without the excessive use of Creme Eggs, Duct Tape, or Slushies, I'd appreciate you not posting.) The light hurt the eyes of those who hadn't seen it in years. Sleeping in something of a coma for the past three days has a little bit of an effect, when you open your eyes on a sandy beach somewhere on the coast of the oddly colored Khazan East Ocean. Rolling out of the charred remains of what was once quite obviously a pickup truck, though it's make, model, and color were undeterminable due to the blaze that had removed what was left of it's former splendor, the young man hit the sand with a grunt and laid there for another half hour. He awoke again, this time rising to his feet and taking in his surroundings. Running his hands through his mussed hair, he noticed something was missing, but couldn't tell quite what it was. He looked the truck over a few times, noting a body that couldn't have survived the fire that consumed the truck, but was oddly in the same, healthy shape he was in. He couldn't think of the name of this passenger, but knew they were somehow connected. He took off his Jacket and looked it over, noting the name stitched onto one of the breasts. "John" he spoke aloud, wondering if that was his name. It was his jacket, he knew, but he couldn't place the name as being his. He put the jacket back on without turning it around to look at the back. Tire tracks marked the passing of another, larger vehicle within the past few days, and the large man wondered if the driver of the mystery vehicle knew of anything that had happened. "Why the #### don't I remember anything?" the figure asked himself, the four letter word oddly enough bringing some memories, however vague, to his head of some foul-mouthed adventures he'd had with a foul-mouthed partner in the name of some unnamed diety. His face reflected the strain he put himself under mentally as he tried desperately to hold on to those memories, sucking like a leech anything he could possibly use to figure out what was going on. He now recognized his partner, and who he was, at least, but not what had happened. He walked to the other side of the truck and launched a right jab at the passenger, rousing him from his slumber. "Corey, wake up. We're not dead." DMOD The call... When the Gods call upon you, it doesn't matter how bad you feel, or how impossible the mission. you do as they ask and shut up. And for one Paladin of the Silver Tongue, an Agent of the Gods of Gaming, this was a surefire way to become a pastry. From his place on a far away planet called, "Earth", Wiseass Dave silently wondered. "By the millions of hellishly bad Army Men Games, what kind of prophecy is this..." Staring at his computer screen, he read the words again. "...the Sonz have returned. Your orders are to transport an important scroll to their care. It contains important forces that MUST be sent to the Mexican Trick Horse God and his Avatars. If opened by anyone else, there is instant death no matter the free lives or continues previously collected..." But he could not complete this task. He knew the second that he read them that it was not going to work...his enemies were legion, and his allies could not help him even if they knew where to look. But no matter how hard he tried to avoid acknowledging it, he had to do it. he owed the Sonz (one of them at least) a debt of honor. Taking the parchment that had been transported to him from its casing and shoving it into his pocket, Wiseass Dave loaded a favorite game of his... +++ In FUBAR HQ, a phone sprung to life. The FUBAR's most prominent badass quickly answered, "Officer Sloth, who the hell is this?" "Wiseass Dave, don't say it, I'm still on temporary leave. I have something you might need to see if you haven't already been informed...The Sonz have returned, and I have been ordered to transport something into their care..." Officer Sloth began to speak, when Dave did something that was considered assisted suicide in some countries: He interrupted an Agent of Yampu in an extremely rude manner. "DON'T SAY IT. Look, I don't have time. I need you to find DeDestroyah and tell him to send me my War-hammer. If he asks how to find me, tell him to use FedEx Cloak and Dagger Shipping: They Know Where You Live. I already have my other equipment...Find Sensei Kung-Fu Master Bob and tell him to get me some Cannon Fodder Backup...And FIND THE SONZ! Look, I gotta go, THEY can sense me if I use a cliche." A click sounded on the Paladin's end, leaving Officer Sloth alone to his thoughts... +++ In a place far from the FUBAR HQ, a suspicious happening occurred on the Lowtown streets. A young man, wearing blue jeans and a blue jacket was reported running from a payphone near the Lowtown Train station known commonly as "The Station of Lost Hope." No one would have cared or remembered, and especially would not report this...except of course for the fact that a set of armed men forced their way past security mere moments later, starting a search and destroy campaign that would end in a hostage crisis. Wiseass Dave did not know this would happen as he ran from the station. He had thought he had taken the greatest of precautions. knowing full well that wearing his armor would be suicidal in a covert mission, he had switched to simple plainclothes. Knowing that he could not appear threatening or conspicuous, he had used a special illusionary watch that would hide his enchanted Desert Eagle Magnum of Excessive Force... he had forgotten only one fact: his enemy was as talented as he was. MightyMeatyMan Sloth looked around as he hung the phone up in his office. He wasn't a man to waste words, so he just pressed the button for the intercom, and spoke the names that Dave had given him, and said "get your asses into my office now." Now all he had to do was wait. __ Corey awoke in the same general manner that John had, with all the rolling and the pain in his eyes. It felt as though somebody had rubbed sand in his eyes, then sewed his eyelids shut. "Oh, #### me. What's going on, John?" "Dude, you remember my name...that's good. When I woke up, I couldn't remember if I'd pissed my pants or if that was water on my lap." "You probably pissed your pants. What happened, and how long have we slept?" "From what I can tell, a few days. How's your jaw?" "It fuckin' hurts, how the hell do you think it feels after you try to knock my fuckin' teeth out?" "Good, you can still feel pain. I don't think my truck is drivable. We'll have to walk." "I hate walking." "I hate you. Get your ass up and start walking. We have to find out what's going on." Corey rolled slowly to his feet and together, the duo followed the trail that was left by the unknown vehicle. Controlled He sat crouched at the top of the FUBAR HQ. He had not heard from his God for a month. He took off his Sonz hat. and looked deeply into it... studying it. It was filled with history not yet explained to him. The Answers would come, and they seemed to be emanating directly from this baseball cap that was the spare for he who was John given to him during a collaboration of powers. When would his time end. The past still tortured his mind and ate at his total being. He wanted death. but why did the goal seem so far away. Anger grew... deep Anger. A pent up fury flowed through his gut and into his mind. His eye sockets grew hollow and heat trails formed around him. He rose to his feet at let out a scream that would sear the mind. The Mist seemed to immediately dissipate in a radius surrounding him as trees hundreds of yards away were mowed over in his fit of desperation in this tomb he called a body. The memories faded and he regained a little bit of consciousness and reality once again. He had never used his power on his own before. The dream faded into the background and he saw not the same thing over and over again... but something different. He was in control of his power. Behind him stood 4 figures. A Mexican Trick Horse and Sloth. Then two others came out of the shadows and were swearing at each other. The feeling seemed familiar. It was John and Corey. They were alive? Controlled came out of his trance to find the damage he had done to everything surrounding him... "Eh... I'll get one of the repair guys to fix the tower... But that can wait..." He heard Sloth over the Loudspeaker... Sloth didn't call him, which meant that his fate lie on a more direct root. He looked into the vastness of the Vale from the 69th floor roof. The wind blew lightly through his hair. He put the now glowing hat back on. and it emanated an energy that only Controlled knew. The only thing that mattered know was pleasing his God. He let Yampu take control and he was immediately brought back into his dream. It was the same thing that was seen before, but was different somehow. He was falling... but he could see the sky and the earth below. He thought nothing of it and kept falling thinking that the dream would end. He saw a smoldering car as he descended... In the last millisecond of his decent he saw John and Corey looking up at him just before he realized that this wasn't the same dream... "Oh ####" He hit the ground hard, face down. The two onlookers double-taked and had the look of "What the ####" on their face. He began to rise mumbling and then yelling at the sky... "OUT OF ALL THE FUCKING WAYS TO TRANSPORT WHY A FUCKING FREEFALL ONTO PAVEMENT" He mumbled more as he brushed off his hat and jacket. The two looked at him quizzically... "Who the #### are you" "We get on a Fucking Team Page together and you forget my Friggin' name because of some lame attempt at thinking you two are friggin' phoenix's coming out of the ashes?.. #### THAT..." Controlled put his hand over his mouth... Somehow he adopted the same attitude and speech pattern of the three Sonz. The fall must have gone to his head. So, what the #### are you here for? "Same as always, if you two can't handle the smiting I take over by the will of Yampu and totally #### #### up" "Yeah, but you're like a clown guy?" Controlled shook his head and sighed "This is going to take awhile. Of all the times to get amnesia" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Dude, it's that freaky-slasher clown motherfucker from that movie! Don't kill us freaky-slasher!" John hid behind Corey, obviously mocking Controlled. "John, I think I almost recognize this fucker. He's got your hat." "Gimme back my hat, clown." "The hat was given to my by you, dipshit." Controlled took the hat off and examined it quickly, then replaced it. "I don't give anybody my hat." John dove at Controlled, and fell short, landing on his face in the sand. His muffled voice was all that could be heard as he said quietly "fucker." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled came to a realization at that moment when John hit the ground. If he dies at the hands of Yampu's followers Yampu would not intervene the murder attempt as he has always done before. Controlled found a loophole in Yammatic Law. But how to exploit it. He needed a snide comment... a comment that would tear at their hearts until the end of time and hopefully, finally, grant him access to an afterlife. "You 2 are acting like newbie’s" Terrible levels of anger hit John and Corey's face as the air grew silent. They didn't say a thing... they just started approaching Controlled. He smiled as the two came closer... Closer to his end. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guest -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nai was inside his room when he heard Sloth's call. Setting down the Destroyah figurine he was carving, Nai leapt into action, grabbed his coat off the door hook, strapped Mjolnir and the borrowed War-hammer across his back and dashed outside the room. Moments later he arrived at the door to Sloth's office. Finding it open, he entered. Saluting respectfully Nai spoke "DeDestroyah, reporting for duty sir." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sloth watched DeDestroyah walk into his office. "Send Dave his War-hammer. Use FedEx Cloak and Dagger Shipping. Get out of my office." "Wow, Sloth...couldn't you give me some details...or something?" Sloth looked up from his paperwork he was pretending to do. "Yeah." "Um...are you going to tell me?" "Nope. Office. Out. Now. Don't make me get up." "####." "OUT." Dave walked out of the office and into the hallway while Sloth remained behind. * * * * Corey's eyes widened at the most unexpected statement he had ever heard in his life. "You fucker." John leapt to his feet from where he landed behind controlled, and calmly strode to behind the evil-freaky-clown-thing, and locked him into the most solid full nelson anybody had ever witnessed, while Corey began to pummel him into an apology. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guest -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DD ran through FUBAR HQ knowing something was up. Soth was pissed, and Dave needed his War-hammer. This by itself wouldn't have been a surprise, but the only people who could get Dave his War-hammer was FedEx C&D. This was bad news. Nai knew FedEx inside and out, his father worked there. The Cloak and Dagger department were the delivery equivalent of ninjas. "#### in a hand-basket" Nai said, still running. He reached the loading docks, but didn't stop. Instead, he leapt, landing on the white with purple/green lettering van that passed by at that very moment. It didn't matter whether Sloth had called them, or if they were like the Green Berets. They were there, and that was all that mattered. Turning to the driver, Nai shouted "Yo! You Cloak and Dagger services?" "Yeah" responded the driver, "Just tell me who we need to find, I'll get ya there. I owe your father a favor." Nai nodded, he pointed toward the city "Wiseass Dave. And hurry! I think the shinola's about to hit the fan!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled just stood there like a rag doll as the blows hit him…. For some strange reason he felt like commenting on the beating at hand… ”What a bunch of wusses… thwack is that the hardest you can hit? thwack… Friggin newbies hit harder than you assholes… thwack… come on! Give me a good shot to the sternum… thwack no it’s higher than that gay man! thwack… oh yeah I forgot… you boys are too stupid and have no idea what that is…” Corey and John paused for just a second at the comment just to check if they did know what a sternum was. They shook their heads and then continued the pummeling. Controlled realized that the blows were having no effect on his physical body. Either his nerve endings were totally shot due to all the radiation he was subjected to over the years or something else was starting to take control of him again but this time while he was conscious. He started whistling as Corey began to tire. The duo switched places and Controlled made no effort to get away. He even helped Corey learn a proper full nelson. "Are you 2 done yet? Or am I going to teach you the meaning of Yampu?" John and Corey ignored the comment… "Alright, it’s time to stop now before I get annoyed… Helllloooooo…. You can stop now… that’s it…" In one fluid motion Controlled somehow head-butted Cory in the nose, raised his arms and slunk down out of the Full Nelson hold just as a shot to the sternum missed and yet followed through into Corey. In the crouched position Controlled kicked his hind legs out like a horse and Mule kicked Corey about 10 feet away. He turned quickly just as John figured out his mistake and Mule Kicked John in his fruit and 2 veg. Controlled let out a guttural horse noise and walked over to the wrecked truck on all fours. He hopped into the bed of the truck and pulled a bottle of Tequila from a secret impenetrable stash that only Yampu knew about. He cracked it open and developed a Mexican accent calling the boys over for a post fight drink. Controlled was not himself at all. In fact he was presently possessed by Yampu himself who was to give timely advise through alcohol abuse to our heroes… This part of the story can only be told by one man, and one man alone… "Clown boy seems weird. Donkey-like, even." Corey picked himself up as he spoke, rubbing his chest as even now he began to heal, especially in the presence of his God. "Dude, I think that ain't clown boy anymore. Memories rushing back...feeling returning to nads...Dude, that's Yampu." "No...that's clown-boy." "You want another shot to the sternum?" "I swear to Yampu I'll eat your firstborn children." "I don't think I'll have any after that shot to the jimmy." SHUT THE #### UP! John's eyes widened. He wasn't used to hearing his chosen deity speak to him through a channel before, and resisted the urge to knock that Mexican looking smirk off of Controlled. I come to you through Controlled 'cause I can't come to you personally this time, boys. Corey looked around for a minute before interrupting Yampu-Controlled. "Yampu, aren't you supposed to talk Mexican talk and ####?" That's why I've come to you today. Three days ago you two died. You remember Jesus, that bastard child of the other god? Yeah, well, you guys are my Jesuses, or however you say it...is it Jesuses, or Jesi? #### it. Things are changing up here where us gods hang out. ####'s turned upside down and inside out. We all still have power, but something's going down and we don't know what. We're in charge, and only we can change this kinda shizznit, but we didn't. There's a new diety around these realities, and I don't think he even realizes it yet. He doesn't seem nearly malignant, just naive. I've brought YOU two back from the dead to deal with it. You two have been voted most capable by us gods as to handle this. We'd handle it, but we have to keep #### straight up here so the nexus doesn't collapse...that'd be bad, you understand. Your friends will be helpful in this, each using his own talents to help you find this rogue god, and either let him know what the hell he's doing, convert him, or get rid of him. There's a fourth Son out there. His name is Sloth, and he has your hat, John, and your jacket, Corey. Take them back and equip them with his own stuff. I'm counting on you four to do this, boys. Controlled, along with his formidable powers, will be your direct link to me. Don't call me too much, or you'll annoy me and I'll take your souls and tie knots in 'em. May the force be with you. "Yampu, I think that last part is gonna get you sued." John, go to hell. I'm a god. I do what I want. "Good point." The presence of Yampu was lost, and Controlled fell to the ground, conscious, but weak. "I SO wanted to be done with this world." "Get used to being around, clown. It's SMITING time." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled woke and looked around. "I thought I landed on pavement... How'd I get in the truck again? and I thought the truck was demolished. It seems brand new now... and how did I get this major migraine... ####" John and Corey looked at the truck and their eyes dazzled. Screw the word of Yampu, he fixed DBSC!!! They got into the cab and Controlled attempted to direct them to the new HQ very weak and hung over... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DMOD -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Funny…I intended to simply retire for a little while to think things over. But now…” The man known as Wiseass Dave let out a low laugh, “…here I am, transporting god knows what, dodging god knows who, and NOW I find out that my problems can be summed up by two of my allergy medicines going bat-shit whenever mixed.” He looked at his intelligence score once more…chances were he could outmaneuver the enemy. It would require some work…but… +++ “…It would also require that he give us time to think.” Noted the man in the leather vest. The scene was impossible. The assembled officers lined the streets, not once thinking that they might look even slightly conspicuous out in broad daylight, an abandoned lot or no. They weren’t worried…even if the KPD DID show up, would the bullets stop them? They were the most powerful warriors in existence, newly formed and masterfully deployed. Each wore a suit of powered armor, enhancing their strength and speed. Armed with the finest of Army Issue Assault rifles…and the most masterful of enchantments. They were mercenaries who had sold their souls, and until their master saw fit, they would not stay dead. Their leader finished speaking. He was the sole exception to the uniform…he was not a seemingly imposing man, a close inspection would reveal him to be slightly overweight. He wore a classic “Leather Vest Matrix Style” outfit. Simply looking at him would make you laugh, forcing him to kill you in the most painful manner imaginable. The group moved out into the city streets, intent on finding their target. However, their mission was quickly cut short as Wiseass Dave pulled his trump card. As they began splitting into force groups, a lone figure became visible amidst the sparse clouds of the warm September sky. At first, the soldiers of the damned gave no notice. There were several varieties of people who flew in Khazan…then he landed. He wore a cloak of blood-red color, and strangely tall, pointy hat to match. The hat was not of the stereotypical variety; it had been sewn incorrectly. Three quarters of the way to the top, it seemed to droop in any direction the head of the man wearing it was tilted. His clothes visible underneath the cloak were a dull gray, and a pair of simple boots on his feet. He was neither short, nor particularly tall. A short-sword was sheathed in a small scabbard at his side and several pouches were visible on his belt under the cloak. It is needless to say that when he blocked the path of the oncoming soldiers, they laughed. This man who could not control his garments attempted to defy the will of their god? They opened fire at the instant the wordless insult was realized. The man known in some circles as David, The Master of Disaster, simply blinked. They did not even wait for him to speak? No warning shot? No evaluation? Rank Amateurs indeed. The bullets of the warriors seemed to stop as they came forward, as though they were unwilling to go near the young reality manipulator…then, they moved again. The exact same speed, the exact same angle. The only thing changed was the direction, which had been masterfully reversed. The various soldiers were cut down in the streams of their own fire. David looked at those of the damned warriors who survived. “This is the part, where you die.” +++ Wiseass Dave picked up his Mobile Communicator, “How’d it go?” DMOD replied, “Bound them all, unless whoever you happened to piss off today likes divine intervention that blunders through several universal laws of alignment, they won’t be a problem…well…one managed to get away.” The Paladin frowned, “What? How?” DMOD’s reply came as a shock to the Wiseass, “He pulled off a set of cheap acrobatic maneuvers and said simply ‘My work does not concern you…#### off.’” Dave sighed, “Well don’t worry. I can handle it from here. Thanks for the help, I owe you.” DMOD called back, “Okay then…and if you DO tell anyone about…” Dave had already hung up. Moving quickly out of the alleyway, he started moving toward the last known location of the Sonz…He did not see the FedEx Cloak and Dagger Services Vehicle arrive, but no one ever does until the final papers are signed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- John and Corey climbed into the cab they had so recently vacated, and looked around. Not a damned cinder was to be found. Everything was as it should be, right down to the one broken speaker. "You coulda fixed that, Yampu." John said to nobody in particular, and he cranked the engine. An odd rumble was heard as the engine turned over, then was gone. "Hmm...never done that before." The duo looked at each other, then back behind them into the bed of the truck where Controlled generally rode, and hauled ass down the beach, following wherever the tracks may lead them, which just happened to be in the direction Controlled was taking them to -- FUBAR HQ. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, where is this place again? Do I have to go over the directions again? Yes, they're friggin confusing man! Are we at the Misty Vale Yet? No, we're supposed to be going to the Misty Vale? Yes, You bypass the City, take a right at the grassy knoll, and go straight on till morning I don't see the HQ on the map? The FUBAR HQ is not a location on any map, it's a "state of mind". If you think like those in the headquarters you will eventually find the way on your own. Or if all else fails and Yampu gets sick of your lack of direction he'll put the truck on autopilot and you won't have to worry about a thing I hope your getting this Corey cause I could really give a #### right now. Corey was snoring... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guest -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile: Across town, DeDestroyah was speeding about in a FedEx truck. He was sitting in the passenger's seat, calmly watching the road. He'd already asked for an estimated time of arrival. Of course, the only answer he got was "When we get there". DD was bored. There was a cloaked guy in the middle of the street. Wait, guy? Street? It occurred to Nai to look over at the driver. He continued to look directly at the road, apparently not noticing the guy that Nai could see just out of the corner of his eye. He was cloaked in an ornate burgundy and black robe, with silver trim. His face was shrouded in shadow. Nai marveled at the amount of detail he got from this vantage point. That was, until Nai attempted to look directly at the man. His gaze just slid over what Nai's own mind told him was just blank space, ending up with DD looking at the robed figure out of the corner of his other eye. This wouldn't necessarily have been a problem, had the person in question NOT been standing right in front of the path of the truck. Nai leapt into action grabbing the steering wheel and causing the truck to careen onto the side of the road. Nai leapt out and walked right up to the man, surprising him considerably. From the roadside, the truck driver grumbled something about inconsiderate backseat drivers. Nai again faced the quickly recovering mage sterotype. "What's say you tell us who you are, and what you're doing here, eh?" Nai backed up his request with a swing of Mjolnir, ending the blow just before it would have hit the mage's gut. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "#### it." John took his hands off the wheel of the DBSC, and let the autopilot cruise him around until they got to where they were headed: FUBAR HQ. "Mother Fuckin' A." John pulled up to where the label was on the parking lot that quite obviously designated this as being the SoM parking spot. Lo and behold, there was somebody parked there. It was an old model International Scout. Damn, it'd been a long time since John had seen one of those. Corey continued to doze in the passenger seat as Controlled leaped from the bed of the truck to stand beside John, who had just as quickly vacated the cab. 'Why is there somebody in my space, and why do I even have a space? Where the #### am I?" Controlled looked at John with a knowing look in his eyes. "Home, John. Welcome to FUBAR Headquarters." "Great. Fuckin' LotMU knockoffs." *** Sloth watched on the Parking Lot Camera as the DBSC pulled up and parked behind his truck, blocking it in. He grunted as he normally did, being a man of few words, and watched the trio stand around to talk. He knew something bad was about to happen. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He looked at the two gawking at the size of the building. He sighed... jumped from the bed of the truck and passed them into the HQ. He didn't care if they needed more direction. His task at hand was over. He popped his head into Sloth's office... "They're here." He didn't wait for a comment, he just went on and found his way to the elevator. pushed the button for "Food Court: Mall" with his pinky toe. Right out of the elevator he passed a new girl with a big hammer and a need for candy. "Must be a friend of Docnfoid" She made like she was about to talk to him but something kept her at distance. She shrugged it off and went to the candy store. Slurping down a Coke he gazed at the area around him. It grew very tiring to him. The need for FUBAR ways grew monotonous. Willie sat down across from him. "I don't know Bill, I'm just not feeling it anymore." "You need some time to thing about the world and your place here. Try to think outside of the tower and you should find your way" He looked confusedly at Willie who left his seat and walked over to the candy store too. Did Willie just say something that made sense or was he dreaming again. He left his Coke on the table and rode the Elevator to the top floor up to his usual perch outside the HQ. He felt like he was just here about an hour ago... more like two days... but who's counting? He took a long hard look at the Sun trying to pierce it's way through the Mist. He needed a change of atmosphere. He needed out, much like Willie said. There was no longer a need for him. A new trio had been formed. He had to go forth on his own now and finished whatever job that had been set out for him. He left a note on the desk of Sloth Today is a day of change. The Triumvirate has now been established. I must find my true potential and achieve goal unheard of by our God. C He said goodbye to no one. There was no need... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guest -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As Nai stepped closer to the wizard he noted that he looked faintly familiar. Nai was not able to put two and two together however, for the man's upraised fingers twitched slightly. Nai was thrown back as a fireball exploded about the wizard. He cackled and ran, dropping the SEP field and casting a haste spell in it's place. DeDestroyah lept up and dashed after the man, luggin’ both hammers with him as he went. His enhanced metabolism allowed him to catch up with the mage as they entered the base of Low-town. There was unfortunately, a mistake made in following a mage into his own realm. As Nai dashed into an alleyway, he found that the mages and his places had been switched, the mage was now just inside the alley and DD deep within it's dead end bowels. At the same time as Nai realized this, magical tentacles shot out from the nearby building and wrapped around Nai's arms. The magician came in close to gloat. "Hello Nai, remember me? I'm Alundo the Amazing from the Star-bright order, you've been a very naughty boy avoiding us. I was asked to kill you. It seems that you weren't as tough as they thought, well, I do what I must." As he raised his hands to cast another spell, a shot rang out. Wiseass Dave looked down the alley as the body slumped to the floor. "Oh, Nai, there you are. I've been looking all over for you." Nai slipped out of the now weakening bonds and passed Dave back his War-hammer. "Well that was anti-climactic." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DMOD -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Anti-Climactic indeed." Dave remarked. Twirling the Desert Eagle of Excessive Force in his left hand, he tested the weight of his War-hammer...the same as always... In seconds, The Wiseass Dave Theme began playing in the alley. "Thanks...I don't think I would have been able to continue without this. Okay DD, here's the deal. We gotta get our asses back to the FUBAR HQ, PRONTO. I gotta give this scroll to the Sonz, we gotta prepare for the big climactic showdown, and I need to coordinate with the Stooges for our big entrance......and I left the oven on at home. Otherwise said, we got a lot to do. Think we can handle that?" +++ Meanwhile, back at the FUBAR HQ... LotFU-Student-Dave entered the LotFU Dojo Bar and Grill upon receiving the summons from his master. It was strange...rarely did Kung-Fu Master Bob ever call for him, AND tell him to be VISIBLE in the LotFU Dojo Bar and Grill. However, being a mere honored student, he decided it was best not to question the order. As he entered, his master appeared to be relaying orders... "Yes Random Ninja #512, it is good to hear. So Wiseass-san and Destroyah-san have thier ninja guardians protecting them?" The fairly unremarkable Ninja replied, "(Dubbed) Hai, if they pass gas, we know what they digest!" Sensei Kung-Fu Master Bob nodded, "Very well, our ninja must be their shadows, clinging to them like...clingy, shadowy things..." *GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!* The seemingly empty room's ninja were flung around by the force of The Wisdom of Bob. The F--ked up Sensei turned to see his dazed student, "Ahh my son, you have arrived. I wish you to go down to the FUBAR Lobby. The Sonz have finally returned, it would be good for them to meet a familiar face from the recent days of BS-C. (Ed's Note:Before The Shaving Creme)" LotFU-Student-Dave bowed before his master, "It shall be done." Sensei Kung-Fu Master Bob looked to the receding form of his greatest student, and sighed at the predicament. "Ahh my son...if you only knew what I have just thrown you into...may your inner strength guide you, for this will be a confrontation that all shall remember forever...the meeting of the elder and younger gods, and the clash of the Sonz..." *GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG* John and Corey looked at each other for a minute before walking into the building. Controlled had headed in before them, giving them no warning. "Big fuckin' building." John looked it up and down for a second. "Looks like a fuckin' dildo." "That's gross, dude." Corey looked at the building for the first time. "But true, I guess." "I never thought I'd be walking into a giant wang." The duo walked into the lobby unquestioned and unchallenged, seeing a gum-chewing receptionist sitting behind a rounded counter with a young Asian girl asking about a cafeteria. The conversation ended as the SoM approached the desk, and the girl ran off to find delicious food. John smashed his fist on the desk to get the lady's attention. "Hun, don't mash my desk. Willie paid a lot for this thing, John." "Bitch, how do you know my name?" "Everybody knows the Sonz of Mojo, hun. I got a bit of bad news for you, though. It seems there's been a problem with the paperwork from the eighty-third floor, Procurement and Membership. They only gave me the paperwork on you, not Corey. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to break up the Sonz of Mojo for a while, hun." "Look, slut. We don't break apart for nobody, 'specially not some gum-chewing whore." "Rules are rules, sweetheart." *** Sloth watched the Lobby Camera from his office on the first floor as he returned to his office, seeing the situation rising from bad to worse as John reached over the desk and tossed the receptionist casually to Corey. This had to stop. He stood up, crumpling the note from Controlled and dropping it into the trash can on his way out, thinking to himself "Bad things, alright." *** John and Corey played catch with the receptionist until Sloth came out. Oddly enough, he looked like a carbon-copy of John. John almost seemed to know what Sloth was thinking, dropping the woman to the ground and squaring off on FUBAR's head of Security. "Yeah, what's your damage, Nancy?" "You outta’ know, John. I'm Sloth, head of Security at FUBAR HQ. While you were dead with Corey, I took your place. Yampu loves me." Sloth grinned widely, showing off a killer set of teeth and some rather sharp looking canines. "You and Corey, however, have fallen out of favor. You remind me of me, so I figure that means you can live. Corey has to go, though. He can get outta’ here, or I can turn him inside out." "Dude, nobody talks about us like that. John, get him!" John lurched forward and locked up with Sloth, an even match. They both had SoM hats, both wore SoM jackets. Sloth and John were dead-on-balls even. No quarter was asked, and none given in this battle, but that mattered none. Neither of them could gain an inch on the other. Corey dove in from the side and tackled the two of them, and Sloth broke the bear-hug and turned to deal with his newest attacker. He curled his legs underneath him and turned Corey over, catching him in midleap and landed a solid double-kick to the small of Corey's back, a resounding crack making itself audible through the lobby. "FUC*," was all Corey could muster before he dropped to the ground with a broken back. Sloth rolled to his feet only to be met with a fist in his nose, compliments of John. Sloth stumbled back a few steps, only to find John's fist at each step. John couldn't stop. If he stopped, he'd lose his only advantage. He'd already lost his partner, he was sure. Sloth stumbled backwards, losing his footing and toppled, only again to be met with John at his back, this time locking him into a choke-hold. John tightened his muscles, veins cording down his arms to choke the life out of the one who had killed Corey, again. Sloth struggled while John held tighter and tighter, until Corey stood, despite his broken back. All fighting ceased, and John and Sloth, the original and the clone looking reverently on as Corey began to speak, only it wasn't Corey. Only one being could bring such titans to a standstill, and that was the one they worshipped. Yampu spoke through Corey. You asses. Your struggle has lost me one of my best smiters. Corey is dead. Are you happy? You should be. My power is waning quickly, and I don't know why, Amigos. You two had best learn to get along together, since you're partners now. Fighting won't do you either a damn bit of good, since you're both exactly the same. In this time of troubles, I don't know what to expect, so be on your toes. Work well together, and be excellent to each other. John looked at Sloth as Corey slumped back down to the ground, dead. "I hate you, and I will always hate you. The only thing that could make me not hate you, is if you were dead, or if Yampu died, and you took his place, and Yampu told me before he died that you would take his place and that I should worship you instead of him. In other words, I'll always hate you, hated one." Sloth grunted, punched John in the face, and returned to his office. John was left to his own devices in the Lobby of FUBAR HQ, bloody, and with a dead partner at his feet. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DMOD -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sloth sat in the office... His time alone lasted exactly twenty seconds. At exactly twenty one seconds after he had entered his office, the door was shattered into pieces. Stepping through, was the insane warrior who was often referred to as "invincible". His strength was legendary, his speed was phenomenal, and his Coolness was Mentos. An extremely pissed off LotFU-Student-Dave stepped through the former doorway a moment later. Sloth simply rose an eyebrow. "I'm the one who kicks down doors around here." LotFU-Student-Dave snarled in contempt, "Quite frankly, you won't be doing much of anything around here when I'm through with you." Sloth stood from his desk, "And why is that?" The FUBAR Martial Artist roared in anger, "I come down to greet the Sonz, and WHAT DO I FIND!?! COREY! DEAD! JOHN, INJURED! WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE!" The Agent of Yampu shrugged, "Took out the trash." LotFU-Student-Dave's vicious snarl took on new life as those words began leaving Sloth's lips, "OH? THe TRASH? Let me tell you something you half-s--t dips--t Yampu Agent Wanabe Motherf--ker..." Sloth's face contorted with each word...there would be hell to pay... "...Back when we were the LotMU Revival, things were different. We didn't know what we were doing was wrong...all we knew was that we were on a gnome hunt. I was new at it, going along with Banquo and my master...JWDavis was still around, and Willie was kickin serious ###. The Sonz pulled it together with us, and that's part of why so many of us are still around in FUBAR...The Sonz were comrades...friends. And now, you have the Gall to call any of them TRASH..." Sloth stood up to his full height, "Take those insults back you pissant motherf--ker before I..." Sloth's face became a hell-storm of anger, forcing even words from his mouth. The LotFU Fighter had given him an ages old sign of disrespect, locking his left arm in his right arm in a strange cross formation. To make the insult even more obvious, the middle finger on both hands were extended. In a mere moment, the two were locked in mortal combat. +++ Meanwhile, in a realm far above...others were at work. "Holy S--T! IT KILLED COREY! F--k! WHERE'S YAMPU, WE GOTTA FIGURE THIS OUT NOW!" The Many Headed God of Gaming's 'Puzzle Head' shouted this over the throng of assembled deities. But the god of parties was the only to respond. "F--k man, I don't know! Yampu's f--ked man! We don't have a f--king clue! It wasn't the food er nothin, the bastard's almost as good a drinker as I am! F--k! WE'RE F--ked!!!" Desperate time called for desperate measures...calling upon the powers of the Up-Down-Left-Right-Up-Down-Left-Right Hold down on A until you hear a "Ring" noise, then Hit Start code, The God of Games moved Wiseass Dave and DeDestroyah to the second to last level...FUBAR HQ. It had to be done...The Scroll NEEDED to be delivered... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sloth locked up with the martial-arts master of FUBAR, baring his teeth and emitting a roar that would make the fiercest of lions back down. "Fuc*er, I took out Corey, I can take you out. I AM the Sonz of Mojo now. I have power that you can't understand." Sloth tensed his muscles, shifting his weight about a bit and got underneath Dave, lifting him by his crotch and his shirt, hurling him across the room. "I won't kill you. I didn't mean to kill Corey. He asked for it, and I delivered. Nobody who challenges me lives to tell about it. NOBODY!" Sloth went back behind his desk and looked as though he was about to sit, when he stood back up, his oak desk suddenly hurtling through the air at the slowly recovering Dave. "Taste oak, bastard. I'll see you in Hell." Muscles tensed and corded, Sloth stood by in an almost defensive crouch, and waited for the desk to hit. *** John couldn't do anything. He was locked in a grieving state at the side of his deceased partner in smiting. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The table stopped inches away from the victims face. There was an awkward pause as Dave looked at the wood begin to turn red. Sloth was confused and then grew knowledgeable at what he was seeing. The table burst to pieces littering the floors with glowing toothpicks. Sloth turned to the doorway to see Controlled... or was it? He got a haircut and the scars on his face seemed much larger than before. He became aware of the fact that Controlled had become fashion conscious and sported a new button down shirt and black pants. He was not wearing the SoM items of membership any longer. Controlled threw the Hat and Jacket combo to Sloth. "I won't be needing these anymore. Oh... Yampu is judging your worthiness." He looked over to Dave who was recovering through kata. He spoke but didn't make eye contact with Sloth. "Don't screw up, last thing Willie needs is more dead people within the establishment your supposed to be protecting. He left, for good this time. He paid no attention to John and Corey. So what if Corey was dead. He was dead a couple days ago... He'll just pop back into the living sector again in a few days. He walked outside the establishment and found a trench coat in the back of DBSC. It was better than nothing for a coat. He looked down at the tire tracks from whence they came hours before, he followed them till morning... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sloth composed himself, smoothing the front of his shirt. "I don't need this." He leaned forward and took the hat and jacket, hanging them on a peg embedded in the wall from the explosion of the desk. He looked down at Dave. "Are you done?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DMOD -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The FUBAR Martial Artist's eyes had not once left Sloth's face since the beginning of the situation, not even as the desk blotted out his sight of Sloth. He would not have been stopped by the powers of a mere oaken desk...metal yes, oak no... Drawing himself up to his full height, LotFU-Student Dave's murderous gaze seemed to grow. "Make no mistake Officer Sloth, I know what you are. You are a vile, contemptible being, a sheep in Officer's clothing...a coward of the first degree. I will always hate you for what you have done, unless Yampu dies and tells us that you shall take his place, and that we must make amends, I will forever choose to hate you." His knuckles grew white... "But I also know that Controlled is right. Now is not the time. Even more so than this, something is wrong with it all. something is pulling our strings. I cannot see it, I do not know it...but something is definitely wrong here. There is only one person I know who can shed light on it, and he's..." The sound of a "ring" followed by a stage select menu caught his attention... "...Right about to enter the lobby. Until this situation is fully explained, I..." His face seemed choked with emotion. "...Cannot...kill...you." For the first time, his gaze left Officer Sloth. He took a small index card out of his right pocket, writing quickly on it. "But immediately thereafter...you die." The FUBAR Martial Artist lightly flicked the index card, sending it sailing into Officer Sloth. The Agent of Yampu looked down at it for a mere moment, looking back up, there was no one there. On the card, it read in simple print... IOU: Your Demise. --LotFU-Student-D +++ LotFU-Student Dave quickly materialized into the lobby. He had two jobs now, the first, was to see if John was okay. The second...was to see what the Wiseass One and DeDestroyah had on them... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sloth ate the card, and wished he had his desk back. *** John looked up from the corpse on the floor, noticing his surroundings for the first time. Speechless still, he looked up at Dave, coming from Sloth's office. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kazan City gleamed brightly that evening. He wanted to get back to Manaical Heroes headquarters before dawn. His presence needed to be known. His senses became aware of something following him. Something like a kindred spirit. He looked around and saw no one. Flashbacks came to him as reality seemed to strobe light in his mind with a new dream coming closer and closer. This was his new power granted. Just as the Dream ended an image of himself came into view. Or was it himself? It seemed like a younger version. Did he look like that before? The memory seemed vague but comforting. He let his guard down and reached out to touch the dream in front of him. The image took the outstretched hand and flipped Controlled into a dumpster. An eased look came about the strangers face. Controlled arose and brushed himself off like nothing had happened. But reality had awoke from within. He saw the stranger come at him. A fist thrown in the air towards his face. Controlled blinked and the hand became mush and ruptured into pieces. The enemy doubled back at this action, but did not have to wait long before the hand grew back. Controlled hissed... "I see you have the same troubles as I do. Let me help you escape your hell for you can hardly help me with mine." Controlled grew very dark. He opened his left eye which now turned a bright blue. The scars on his face seemed to glow red and pussed with overuse of his power. What happened next only Yampu could describe. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guest -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DeDestroyah and Wiseass Dave strode down the street towards the Misty Vale. The two fellows moved along at a good pace, but the HQ was still hours away. Nai interrupted the silence with a well placed question: "So what's the deal with this scroll thing? Is it like one of those Sacred Scrolls that give ninja masters great supernatural powers? I mean, c'mon, what do we need to get it to the FUBAR HQ for anyway, if I were a protector of ancient scrolls of power I'd want to keep such a thing as far away from us as humanly possible." Dave glanced over at Nai with a reply on his lips but stopped short. His jaw fell and he pointed to a spot right behind DD, who looked behind him to see Kiyana. Nai's eyebrows shot up "Oh, hi Kiyana, I didn't expect to see you here. What's up?" "Nai, get your sorry ### over to HQ and deliver that scroll NOW." Kiyana's brow furrowed in frustration as Nai didn't move as quickly as she expected him to "C'mon, there's some major crap going on upstairs, and Thor's gonna need Mjolnir back for a bit. Oh, and use the class change system, I'll let you borrow it for this mission. It's important! Move!" The green haired girl grabbed the hammer off Nai's back and disappeared again. Dave's jaw began to work again "D-do you know who that was? Kiyana, goddess of the Twilight!" Nai looked back at Dave as his outfit changed from the trench coat/vest combo to a set of flowing dark green and silver robes. "And she's my imaginary girlfriend, so? What's the big deal?" "Well, she just tried to annihilate the universe by combining Void and Create -- and she's your WHAT?" Dave shook his head "Something really messed up must be goin' on with the gods." Nai's change completed as a crown, resplendent with animal favors, appeared on his head. "Excellent" he proclaimed "So Dave, ever ride a Greater Dragon before?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DMOD -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dave sighed... "Once, but that was in 64 bits. Christ..." He looked down a moment... "As per the scroll...I don't know what it does. All I know is that I need to get it to the Sonz, and that if anyone besides them opens the scroll, they die. No continues, no extra lives, no sequels...just Game Over." Dave snorted, "I've got a baaad feeling about this. Lets hurry our asses." +++ LotFU-Student-Dave stood near John... "Oh Man." he thought to himself, "What can I say? What can I do? This man just lost his best friend, his partner...is there anything I can say? Should I just stand there? Sloth you bastard. I remember that last gnome hunt well...Where's the HeartBurn Kid? JWDavis? SOMEONE?!?...no...we are left alone, and I have no one to turn to for advice. What is happening to us? What do we do now?" And so, he knelt down by the carnage, hoping for a sign... MightyMeatyMan John looked up at Dave slowly, no tears, only rage in his eyes. "What the FU*K are you staring at?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DMOD -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LotFU-Student-Dave blinked... "Sorry...f--k..." He shook his head, trying to force the lamentations from his brain. +++ Meanwhile, back in the LotFU Dojo Bar and Grill... Sensei Kung-Fu Master Bob sighed as he watched his student's progress. "(Dubbed) Is ever he going to get to big climax? Dave! Say it!" +++ Finally, Dave 'Say it.' "What are we going to do?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- John looked up at Dave. "What do you think we're gonna do? We're gonna have Corey stuffed and mounted in the SoM museum, and fight this ###### with everything we have. Dave, I'm going back in there, and if I start to lose, I want you to jump in." "Are you sure, John?" "Dave, I've never been so sure of anything in my life." John strode to Sloth's door with an inhuman level of resolve, followed a good twenty yards behind by Dave, who had decided that the best course of action in this was to keep his distance until it got hopeless. John kicked the door in, looking oddly like Sloth kicking one in, and stood in the doorway dramatically. "Let's dance, motherfucker." Sloth grunted, and the two combatants rushed forward, locking up in a death embrace that could end in only one way: the death of another Son. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- They both gave up, Their powers were too closely linked to have a victor. They both had to walk this realm in their own sort purgatory even longer now for neither could relieve the other of this world. Walking up to the MH headquarters Controlled found a note on the door. "Went to the Great Wall for Training, be back next week." He remembered that place. He had unknowingly crossed paths with an evil Black Dragon riding Sorcerer there once. He started walking there once again. Though he was able to reach his destination quickly time passed very slow for Controlled. On the way he believed to have seen images of a man strolling by. He thought it some ghost from the past until it spoke to him mentioning the weather. The two went on together towards the Great Wall. They talked about their lives in Khazan, the places the tournament had led them to thus far. All seemed well until they reached the wall. No other MH members could be seen and Controlled finally asked "The" question. "Do you believe in Yampu?" "Who?" Controlled had no idea that his advise for Sloth and Dave was ignored... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lord Thayer -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Willie sat back in his office chair and watched the fighting go on. This wasn't fucked up... This was just Melee. Something had to be done. He looked at the Fubar Roster for incoming and outgoing characters that were in the AOC tournament. Sloth was at the top of the list. Duh, he had to leave soon and spread the word of SoM and possibly FUBAR too to the masses of Khazan. This should give them time to cool down a bit. Willie got on the loud-speaker. "Attention all FUBAR members." Everyone, and that meant everyone hushed to listen to their patron. "Recent studies have shown that violence on television is directly related to family feuds. Right. Whatever. On a side note, Our Security Officer is to report to Manaical Heroes Headquarters for recon duty and share baking ideas with Jello mold fruitcakes. Oh yeah, and there's that little AoC tournament thing that your all signed up for too, and unless your first match is here in the Misty Vale, then I'd suggest you follow your own yellow brick road to Khazan and hurry up and leave cause you gonna miss the gravy train if you stick 'round here playing with yourself. Willie hath spoken and stuff." Willie left his office and proceeded to the Elevator. Where he was going... was a mystery.............. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guest -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DeDestroyah and Paladin Dave stepped of the back of Neambry, the Greater Black Dragon, making a grand entrance to the bottom of Misty Vale. As Neambry wheeled away into the sky Dave and Nai waved a farewell to the great beast. The Headquarters was still a bit off, for Neambry wouldn't go anywhere near the gigantic wang shaped building. Returning to his normal trench coated state, Nai glanced at Dave. "So how is it we don't know that the scroll is some sort of trap designed specifically for the Sonz? I mean, we had to get it here pronto and we could be killing someone?" Dave shook his head "It was given to me by the Gaming Gawd himself! I don't think that it's meant to be some sort of trap, it's keyed to kill-hey!" Dave meant to finish his statement, but he was interrupted by Nai snatching the scroll out of his hands at incredible speeds. DD carelessly popped the seal and rolled the ancient scroll open. A little white zero went *ding* over his head, but Nai remained scrolling through the scroll's contents. "Oh, it's my recipe for super spaghetti. I was wondering where that went..." Dave growled and grabbed it back, looking the scroll over "No it's not! It's obviously a picture of the time I was joking around with Dan and Will!" DD seemed offended "Are you gonna let this cliché continue? I mean, we're obviously going to both argue over what it is for a while. Probably because it's been enchanted with a 'The Time is Right' spell!" Dave glanced at the floor and kicked a rock. "Oh," he said, "Well, let's get moving. I think something’s goin' on, I hear Sonz theme music!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- John and Sloth were squared off again, both understanding that there would be no victor in this struggle. Willie came over the loudspeaker, but neither heard. They now tried to do battle with their minds, even though neither of them had psychic powers, though both did seem to sport a mean headache that was thought to bave been brought on by his opponent. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Flames... burning... the charred taste in your mouth after inhaling a long gasp of thick smoke from smelted flesh. Controlled double - backed at the stench. He still wasn't used to the smell. ----------------------------------------------------- Further search on the wall found no sign of any MH members. It had been a week and fear that the group returned to their headquarters crept into his mind. He descended the wall and made his way back to Khazan City. He still had no idea how the force that was Yampu could effortlessly make him immune to the tortures of non-stop travel. It was a blessing of sorts. He found his way into the recesses of the large swamp land surrounding the Great Wall. It didn't matter which terrain he walked as long as he kept moving toward his goal. His presence was made known by all the creatures of the waste area that he silently stalked through. The animals, no matter the size seemed to slink away from his approach. Concentrating his power in front of him he cut a swath for easy passage. Plant life just disintegrated before his eyes. Until he stopped. A small clearing was seen ahead. It was still swampish but at least the sun shine through. A being could also be seen. What he was doing in the swamp no god could tell. ---------------------------------------------------------- Posted by: Mr.S Following the one known as controlled into the swamp The immortal knew that such potent power needed to be stopped. He had seen this type of thing before, a man trying to good things given awesome power and then abusing it. He shadowed him till he stopped in a clearing and stepped out to confront him. Controlled nodded knowing he was in for another battle, then it began. --------------------------------------------------------- An image came piercing down from the heavens, or it seemed like an image to "The Immortal". The celestial being was donkey shaped? The Mexican trick horse came to Controlled in it's true form. Yampu turned to the opponent and said; "Will you excuse us for a moment?", and without waiting for an answer they turned from "Immortal" and begun to speak. "My Sonz are acting haywire, Corey is dead, Sloth and John are at it again, and what's worse I'm losing some of my power. It seems the less Sonz I have to do my bidding the weaker I become. John and Sloth aren't even listening to me anymore let alone you, so I'll make this quick. I want you and eventually Sloth to take my place. I place my hope within you and Sloth to carry on our way of life and act honorably in front of all opponents." Controlled looked longingly into the horses eyes... "Does this mean?" "Yes, Jason, your valiant ways in the tournament will be judged, and if you prove yourself worthy I will break your curse." Jason, was that his real name? It felt right. Controlled nodded and bid the horse farewell. A single tear fell from his left cheek traveling past his scar and reaching the crick of his mouth. A smile came upon his face, the first one he has ever known for the past 3 years... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DMOD -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LotFU Student Dave silently waited, watching the struggle within. He would follow the wishes of John, Son of Mojo. It was John's partner that would be avenged, it was John's friend. As the two locked themselves in battle, Dave could not help but wonder. Where was it all going? What was it all doing? He shook his head, watching, and waiting. He would need to step in, according to John's wishes if something went wrong. By the thousands of Warriors past... But that didn't mean he had to like it. ____ "Um...DD, mind explaining why the f--k we're caught in the middle of world war three?" Wiseass Dave asked DeDestroyah looked around at the Multi-color carnage surrounding them... "No big deal. This happens every day..." Dave shrugged, "New room?" DD nodded, "Something like that..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Posted by S After sneaking close enough to hear the dying gods words, The immortal was relieved though still on his highest guard. He had seen enough in life to know the emotionally distraught were a dangerous lot. He remembered early in his existence when a friend of his tried to kill him over a minor thing, all cause he had lost a love one. These kind of things struck deep, particularly to the Immortal who had to live through the death of friends often. It was obvious that the one known as controlled had just seen his god for the last time. he didn't catch all the words of the conversation, but could tell by the posture of Controlled that he was emotional. however he knew this Yampu had charged him with being honorable, but the immortal decided he would keep an eye on him for awhile yet, to make sure he stayed out of trouble. He looked at the being in front of him and gave a smile. It was quite disturbing to him that saw it but Controlled was genuinely happy. Controlled began walking past the man. Quietly but content. "The Immortal" was left to himself to gather his thoughts regarding this being... Mountains jutted out in front of him as Controlled reached the end of the swamp. Did he take a wrong turn? Was Yampu's power waning so much that he lost his sense of direction. He saw the snowy peaks and it seemed to him that being at the top would bring him closer to his maker. Possibly make it easier to figure out where the hell he was. He started the long walk upwards. Days passed. He reached the summit on the 4th day. The sun was setting. He sat in meditation and watched nature go about it's business. He breathed in slowly. He hadn't done that in years. The dream set in once again... ...Hello, I'm Katryn... hehehe... I know the movie was terrible but that didn't matter?....... Honey, I found the butter dish it was behind this bowl....... Breath honey breath, Shut Up!, you don't have thing coming out of you... You got her a puppy?... what was that noise? I'll go check outside, sounded like... Earthquake?............. With eyes closed the mountain shook Ferociously. The ground below him gave way as a chain reaction started in a radius around him. As the dream took him through his past the mountain crumbled and became dust as Controlled was seen to levitate down on his own destruction. The scars on his faced glowed and became brighter than the setting sun... He opened his eyes and a blue light shot up into the heavens. He screamed and the entire mountain blew away like is was hit by an atomic bomb. It took hours before the dust cleared. The mountain, now completely leveled was no more. He then became aware of a being watching him. He kept his eyes closed and wished the being to leave before the dream returned... Walking away from the now flatlands Controlled sensed a kindred spirit. The truck coming towards him had an air of smiteness that could only be described as a Sonz. Sloth stopped the truck and spoke to Controlled through the window giving him the low down of what's happening around the headquarters briefly... I just kicked the crap outta Kizoo, his gun thing was getting on my nerves. I'm still fighting with my twin. Now I gotta find some frickin' ancient forest to fight another guy. Man, I love the battles, but the mileage just sucks. "Mind if I hop in? Hafta go through the desert to get to MH headquarters." Controlled asked. Hop in the back, I'm driving by there anyway The Truck sprang back to life and Sloth peeled out. After a days travel they reached the outskirts of the desert. Controlled signaled goodbye to Sloth and lept off the truck easily. They both never looked back. Now a decision, to walk through the desert or around it? Did he come this way before? He had no clue. He closed his eyes trying to remember. When he opened them in disgust of himself he saw a group heading toward him. They weren't exactly powerful beings or else his senses would've been going haywire at that moment. But, there was something about them, something not exactly right. Maybe they were FUBAR candidates. Maybe they were possible followers of Yampu. Controlled could strengthen Yampu once again with the power of many. It had to be done. Controlled started walking toward the gang approaching him. The group stopped and looked at Controlled... Controlled also halted. The rabble got into a huddle and began to discuss their current situation... "It's a guy in the desert... he's got to be our next challenge... but he hasn't started fighting yet, he's got to be a hero of some sort... someone should talk to him... Right, okay, I'll be the first to make contact." The group clapped their hands out of the huddle and stood in a line with one of them stepping taking a step forward. These guys were definitely FUBAR material. "What are you and who are you doing in the desert? I mean... Who are you and what are you doing in the desert?" Controlled spoke with a great sense of pride in his God. "I am one of the few followers of Yampu. I am traveling through the desert to Maniacal Heroes Headquarters. I am also looking for fellow followers of Yampu's word. Are you interested?" Palette nodded and headed back in a huddle... Controlled began to tap his foot in wait. "He sounds serious...maybe we should see how powerful he is?... yeah, let's test him Alright, I'll tell him were going to test him okay? BREAK!!!" The group dispersed around Controlled as the leader spoke... "We want to test you first... If your god is so powerful he will help you against all of us... are you prepared?" Controlled looked around at them, he was surrounded...but still didn't sense any danger. He tapped his head making sure his head was still working "prepared for what?" he looked down and saw that his shirt was now pink. This was going to be an interesting match... to say the least. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ DD chuckled. "Yeah, I converted the 29th floor into a Combat Games business here in the Misty Vale. Basically, this is the paintball aspect of that very same business. And unfortunately, I'm a prime target." Paladin Dave looked over at Nai "How'd that happen?" "Well, I sorta agreed that if anyone could bring me down, they'd be given... hold on a second" A silver plated paintball gun appeared in Nai's hand, and a head that popped up over a nearby hill obtained a rainbow colored paint job and fell back out of sight. "Pfeh, trying to shoot an unarmed guy... anyway... I promised a gift to anyone who could actually defeat me." Dave smiled, "Wait, let me guess, we're going to have to fight our way through?" "You guessed it" was Nai's response as he passed Dave a similar paintball gun... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DMOD -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wiseass Dave shook his head as he handed DeDestroyah his gun back. "Thanks, but I have my own firepower..." Turning and facing a wall, he began to speak an ages old incantation. "BY THE ARBITER'S RECALL, I SUMMON TO MY SIDE...THE OTHER GUYS!" For a long moment, there was silence. Dave ducked as a set of Paintball rounds flew toward him, sighing as Nai knocked the assailants to the floor with a John Woo style Dual-Paintball Gun assault. Nai looked at him, "And what did that accomplish?" David frowned, "Well you see, the thing is that when the Stooges and I get together...we become the Three Stooges of the Apocalypse..." Suddenly, the wall beside him exploded outward, sending him to the floor through the sheer inhuman force of the blast. "AND WE DON'T USE DOORS!" Roared Dan/The Devouring One "...WEEEE. DON'T. USE. DOORS!" Finished Will The Joke Assassin a moment later. Helping Wiseass Dave stand, Dan shook his head, "Christ man! WHY HAVEN'T WE SHOWN UP ONCE DURING THIS DAMN FIC! We're supposed to be a TRIO. Not a MONO, or something similar sounding!" Will cried a moment later, "YEAH....LIKE. ABBOTT. AND. COST.ELLO!" Dave blinked, "Will...they were a duo." Will shook his head in exasperation, "Whaaaat.ever!" Nai dodged another flurry of Paintball rounds, calling over as he did, "I'd hate to interrupt this beautiful reunion, but I COULD USE SOME HELP OVER HERE!" Dan looked over at Nai, "Hey, shut up!" Nai cursed as he ducked behind a set of fake trees. Perfect. Just perfect. While Dave was busy mucking around with those two, HE was pulling of impossible Matrix style maneuvers against a legion of Paintball Warriors. In minutes, he found himself surrounded, and low on ammo. A lone paper airplane flew lazily into his tiny foxhole, its message labeled clearly, "Surrender." Judging carefully the direction of the airplane, Nai fired a single paintball round...he heard a satisfying groan immediately thereafter. Just as things seemed bleak, however, things changed. The Dozens of paintball aficionados were all looking at a pair of kids in Sombreros. "Duuuude! We gotta do sometheeng before Nai is a walking palette!" Cried one mexican that looked suspiciously like Wiseass Dave. "I. HAVE. NO. IDEA!" Cried another Mexican who looked suspiciously like Will the Joke Assassin. "Wait!" Mexican-Dave cried, "I KNOW, I'LL CALL SENOR BADASS!" "HOW?!?" Responded Mexican-Will. Mexican-Dave laughed in triumph to the bewilderment of the various Paintballers, "Senor Badass knows my seester!" Mexican-Will scoffed, "Senor Badass knows EVERYBODY's seester!" Mexican Dave shrugged, "Just like eeeveryone knows this ees a baud Speedy Gonzales ripoff!" Mexican-Will suddenly exclaimed, pointing at the opposite end of the Battlezone, "LOOOOOK! ITS. SENOR. BADASS. OVER. THERE...REALLY! LOOOK!...OVER THERE!" The poor Paintballing putzes all looked for the famed Man in Plaid, the Curse of Cappy's Mamo, The... Looking back at the foxhole, they noticed it was empty. They also noticed Mexican-Dave and DeDestroyah's forms fading in the distance... Back by where Mexican-Dave had stood, was Mexican-Will...and an new figure. This fabled warrior wore a dashing Plaid-pattern cape with matching Funky Hat! This figure wore a white T-Shirt underneath the cape, and his underwear over his pants... "Beeehold. For I am sin-yore BAD...###. And I'ma gonna kick all yo asses." Pulling out a waterhose attached to the arena paint Supply, the Fabled Senor Badass (Whose combined bulk and buzz-cut looked DAMN cool) let loose a punishing rain of Non-lead base paint over the foolish villains of the Paintball arena... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NaiTheDestroyer -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dave and Nai walked out of the insanity of the one liner fic and back onto the green grass of the Misty Vale. They left the other two stooges of the apocalypse to battle the evil that swept through that demented land. They arrived back where they had left, right outside the paintball massacre. Nai stepped forward and suddenly stopped, peering at the lone figure who stood before him. The wind blew, and Nai realized that this would be their last challenge to reach Sloth. He peered through the darkness and the figure was revealed as Kixer, holding his IMUS gun, set on paintball mode. Nai had issued his challenge, and now KiZeR intended to see it through. Rummaging about in his pocket, Nai withdrew more paintballs and loaded them into his gun. "So KiZeR, this is where we shall decide who is to be the victor?" KiZeR nodded. "Prepare to be the next victim of the IMUS gun. I believe I will test the new setting no you, I like to call it 'AMS'." Nai blanched, to become like that annoying newb would be the end of him, he must win this battle at all costs. Nai turned for a moment back to David. "Go Paladin, take the scroll to it's intended owner. We must finish this! Lest all is lost. I will hold off him here, go man!" From the short distance away KiZeR could be heard shouting about how he wasn't the villain, but he was ignored. Nai and Dave saluted each other, and Dave ran off with the scroll in the direction of FUBAR HQ. "Now, shall we finished this?" said Nai as he pointed the paintball gun at KiZeR. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- KiZeR -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- KiZeR grinned, a twinkle in his eye suggested a cool confidence that could only come from knowing something that his opponent did not. "Before we begin, I'd like to give you the opportunity to surrender. You being a fellow member of FUBAR, I'd hate to turn you into an annoying newbie." Nai responded by firing a volley aimed between KiZeR eyes, which most surely would have hit had not KiZeR anticipated the attack and ducked at the last moment. "I expected as much. A pity, but you've given me no other choice. Prepare to kiss your personality good-bye!" KiZeR fired a short burst. Nai just barely managed to dodge them all, but when he looked up again, Kizoo was gone! KiZeR had never meant to hit with his first attack, it was merely designed to make him lose sight of his opponent! Nai had to find KiZeR and fast, or else he would be doomed! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lord Thayer -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Controlled decided to sit on the ground. He had to think... why didn't this group register in his mind as a threat. They had Tazers and a couple of them could throw a good punch but things just weren't adding up. Was Yampu trying to tell him something. This group was a sad bunch, who were exiled from many other institutions. The group looked around at each other and a bunch of life-like clothes sat down next to Controlled. They all followed the lead of the ensemble of fabric except for the marble person that needed to be carried in it's present state. Controlled seemed to be trying to communicate with the heavens. The whole group joined hands in a seanze of... well... they didn't know... but it felt right. Controlled began to bleed. The Scar opened up and yet again a blue light emanated from his good eye. The group was enveloped in a halved globe of energy pouring forth from Controlled and a light purple beam from above. Palette looked up. "Wow, cool color." They're not dead already, which means they have Yampu's blessing... Controlled thought to himself and he began to target each member of this group. Yampu took pity on this group of mutants and decided to help them in return for their homage. They... accepted... Controlled found that his power not only could cause damage but a vibration power also has the ability to strengthen all forms of muscle tissue. Mental, Physical and energy based. He would start with the leader. Bending Light, changing color, it's all connected to the stealth of a person. Not only could Palette change color but also had the mentality now to use it not only for changing clothing but making it useful for blending purposes. The power of invisibility was granted to her. To Wardrobe, he gave a Duplication power, the ability to mimic another’s clothing in order to confuse and help out other teammates indirectly. To Statue, he honed her power so that she could actually walk. To Tone Deaf, the power of vibration coupled with his Sonics. To Normal, an upgrade on all levels physically. Gloves found it hard to imagine what he could do with an upgrade to his power. Controlled smiled and made him the central point in the group. All powers could simultaneously be used and junctioned to Gloves for an ultimate attack. He grinned. It was good. A Sandstorm kicked up from the power unleashed as the group woke from what they thought was a dream. The Sand settled and Controlled got up and started walking again. Palette stopped him and asked; "What are we to do now?" Controlled didn't turn back, he kept his head facing his destination as he spoke. "Find your way to the Misty Vale, get acquainted with the locals at a certain phallic shaped headquarters, and await orders from a group called SoM. You will never see me in this form again. Goodbye..." Controlled was tired. Creation had never been done before and it knocked the wind out of him. He still walked on... Why did giving power sap his energy so... he needed to find sanctuary. A place that Yampu could not call on him from. He needed rest... A mountain grew into view in front of him. He was lost again. This seemed as good a place as any to rest. Holes opened up at every corner of the mountain face. It seemed like a large carpenter ant hill. He entered the caves. He could hear the dripping of water and the flutter of bats every now and then. It was a soothing sound. He found a corner of rock and nestled there and attempted sleep. He didn't wait long for his eye to close and the dream world came into view once again... Irony was tired of fighting, it just wanted peace. Why did everyone it met want to fight it first, even the heroes who didn't want anything to do with violence or just wanted to convert a person over to the worship of their deity. Anyway, Irony wanted no more of it. Going out towards the mountains, it spotted a cave in the mountains above the city of Khazan. It looked big enough for one person and one person only, which suited Irony's need for some alone time perfectly. He stayed huddled. Yampu had not called to him. Overwhelming power enveloped all around. He let it hit him dead on as if was still in a dream. He felt pain. In over three years he felt pain. When he woke he found himself walking in a swamp. “Not another swamp” A parrot started taking to him. Was this another form of Yampu or was it just part of a dream still. He didn’t feel like listening… “Oh Yampu, do you like original recipe or extra crispy?” A bolt of white light hit him square on the head as he chewed on his dinner. His time finally arrived… He met the Trick horse in what he first thought was a dream. “I’m leaving town. I give you this as one of my last gifts. You are now the Mojo in which my power flows. You will eventually be contacted in a similar manner by Sloth, who will take my place officially when he feels the time is right. Until then flex your new found power and greet your family once again. They are here. Remember, just because you have transcended to the heavens does not mean that the usual 9 to 5 schedule ends. Heed my words, and goodbye…” Looking down upon the world so many things became clear to him. The power now given to him was the same that was known before, but a wealth of knowledge and ability accompanied it. The world felt right for once. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MightyMeatyMan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The council of Khazan Gods called to order it's final meeting. Upmay, Yampu's ultimate rival spoke first. "Fellow Gods, we have an issue here. It seems that our power is draining, slowly at first, but rapidly picking up speed. I figure that within the next few days, we'll be toast. Suggestions?" Various gods spit out answers until finally Yampu spoke up, putting down his tequila for once. "Upmay, I got it. Transfer our power into another being, until such time as we can return to claim it. They won't have access to our complex here, but they can safeguard and use our power to our ends until such time as we can take it back." "Yampu, for once you're acting like you're not a drunk old ###." "I resent that, Upmay." "Good." *** Sloth gathered his things. His fight with John had been put on hold for a quest he'd given to John, and he had other things to tend to until he could get back to his battle royal. He had the strangest feeling he'd be needed back at FUBAR HQ shortly. Sloth. WHOWHA?! It's me. Yampu. You scared me. Stay alert and I won't. What can possibly be the point of this visit? Here's the thing. Me and the other gods, we're gonna take a vacation. In the meantime, hold these for me. Sloth collapsed under the weight of a small, yet oddly heavy idol that he now had in his hands. Thems is my powers. Hold on to 'em until I get back, and you can use them in my name. Just don't break 'em, and give 'em plenty of tequila. Aye, sir. Sloth faded from view, and Sloth put the trinket in with his other things for his journey back to FUBAR HQ. He wondered what it'd be like to be a god, and who his sidekick would be. |