MATTIE'S CHRISTIAN PAGES

November 15, 2000
Author:  Thelma Elaine Rudstrom
 

OUR HEAVENLY FATHER’S DESIRE
 

“The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil:  he shall preserve thy soul.  The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore,”  (Psalm 121:7,8).

“I am my Beloved’s, and His desire is toward me,” Song of Solomon 7:10).

I will never forget the day in 1948 that my heavenly Father revealed His presence again within me.  I recognized Him, His presence in the depths of my being and felt at home with Him again like I had been when I was a child and into my teens.  I remembered I had walked and talked with Him often.  Now, after many painful years with no indication of His presence within me; with no consciousness of once knowing His presence within, I greatly welcomed feeling His loving presence again within my being.  I knew very little of His written word other than what I had learned from my mother and later from my teachers at Summer Bible School, Sunday School and finally at Confirmation Class. But with His presence revealed again in me, I suddenly knew that I would receive the answer to my hearts cry by picking up Billy’s Bible (dusty and in the bookcase - untouched except for moving) and by beginning to read the Word of the Living God.

Now, with the renewed consciousness in my heart this day, that my Heavenly Father’s presence had not left me but was still within me, I immediately recalled the day I was confirmed, when in conclusion, Pastor Wendell urged us from his heart to, “Continue on in The Word.  Do not go home and put your Bible on the shelf and then forget it there, to let it lay there and collect dust.”  I remember saying in my heart, “I would NEVER do that”.  That thought was firmly there because I loved walking and talking with my Heavenly Father and I loved learning about Him and His Son, Jesus, in the Word.  But reading the Bible was never established in our home and I did put the Bible on the shelf, still remembering the pastor’s final words and without intention of leaving it there to collect dust.  But I did forget it there.  Now, approximately 12 years later I was sadly reminded of the fact that I had left my Bible on the shelf to collect dust.

Following Confirmation I joined the church choir.  I continued in the Word through song and the scriptures.  Every Sunday we read aloud together and followed on together as the Word was either read or sung or as we participated in song or by the Word expounded to us by the Holy Spirit within our pastor’s message to us.  The Holy Spirit revealing truths from the Living Word that I cherished and hid in my heart.  But I was sinking deep into iniquity.  Eventually I met Billy.  I believed God brought us together.  We became engaged the night of the first black out Minneapolis had during World War II.  Billy left for service in the United States Coast Guard one month later.  We were married on his first leave of absence after boot camp.  On his second leave he brought me with him.  He was to receive instructions to where he would be stationed.  When we arrived in Boston he was given orders to be stationed in Rockland Maine.  I stayed there with him until we found out that I was pregnant with our first child.  During the following leave he brought me home to remain there until he was home to stay.  We were to be blessed with our first of four precious children that were given to us by the Lord.

The darkest day of my life was October 29th, 1944, the day following our first child’s birth when I learned that he was not expected to live.  He was given to me to nurse but I could find no response in his life.  He was asleep, I thought.  He did not awaken to be nursed.  His complexion, I thought, was blue.  Billy’s sister came to see me and I learned from her that my mother had been notified that her new grandson was not expected to live.  She called and made arrangements for the closest pastor available to come and baptize our baby, Dennis.  She had also arranged for Billy’s sister and my brother to come to be witnesses of Dennis’ baptism.  Billy had been called.  I waited for him but much later I learned he was unable to get a leave to come home for this emergency.

Dennis lived and he lives today, Praise the Lord.  But life began as a struggle, with seizures and incidents that would not be diagnosed by doctors until after we had two more children, David and Roger.  David was born in 1947 and suffered intense seizures.  He was not expected to live.   Both Dennis’ and David’s mental development was being hindered, due to the seizures or the malady that was causing them, and more so with David due to the intensity of his seizures.  Our third son, born in 1948, did not have a seizure until he was a few months old.  It was then, at the time of Roger’s first seizure, when I was extremely broken hearted, that the Lord stirred in my heart and revealed Himself in love, mercy and grace again after fourteen very trying years of living apart from the close communion I once had with Him in my heart.

What a blessed communion this was.  I immediately went to the bookcase, picked up the dusty Bible and began to read.  God revealed our healing Jesus to me.  He was as real to me as if He were in my home.  And the words I read were as close as if I was where He was and I was hearing Him speak the words as if He was speaking directly into my heart. Truly He was in my presence and I was hearing His voice.   I was so hungry to know Him I read the Bible every spare moment and into the night when all were asleep.  It was not long before I received the answer I needed to know.  I was walking with Him through THE WORD, as recorded in John 9, when I received the answer that had so plagued me about my children’s illness.  I read: “And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.  And his disciples asked him, saying, “Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him…When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay.  And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, (which is by interpretation, Sent.)  He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing.

The fact that Jesus sent him to wash in the pool of Si-lo’-am, which meant ‘sent’, was a word to me from Jesus.  And that he obeyed Jesus and washed and therefore came back seeing was also a word that was to stay with me.  I asked Jesus to heal my children.  I saw no visible sign of healing.  I sought Him more and realized I was not going to be satisfied with just physical healing.  I desired more than that.  I did not know the Bible terms to use, but I was deeply and passionately desiring wholeness, not just for my children but also for everyone.
And I became deeply conscious of our calling, that we have been ‘sent’ and pre-destined to respond in “obedience’ to His call upon each of our lives.

The Word of God became my life.  God’s word has been my light, my strength and my joy to this day.  Our daughter, Barbara Joy, was born in 1951.   By now our children’s malady had been diagnosed as Familial Hypoglycemia.  Barbara was fine when she was first born but her blood sugar count went as low as 3 before the second day of her life.  She also suffered a brain hemorrhage that night and was not expected to live.  Our son, Roger, who received the least amount of damage, married Marie Cundiff.  They have one child, Roger Paul, who is twelve years old at this present time.  Roger Paul’s blood sugar went as low as 1 at birth.  He was not expected to live   All of our children and our grandson are alive today and know the Lord.  And we thank our heavenly Father for each one of their lives; precious they are, each one of them.

“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee…and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee,” (Isaiah 43:2).  “The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.  The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore, “(Psalm 121:7,8).  “All thy children shall be taught of the Lord,” (Is. 54:13).”I am my Beloved’s, and His desire is toward me,” (Song of Solomon 7:10).  I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me,” (Galatians 2:20).

Please allow me to quote from Ray Prinzing’s book WHISPERS OF COMFORT, the Word of Life taken from pages 107-117, as Ray Prinzing graciously explains what the Holy Spirit has established in his heart.  And the Holy Spirit confirms his writings and establishes the word in my heart that I may share it with those who have ears to hear and eyes to see what the Spirit is saying to the church today.

QU0TE:   “Yes, HE DID HAVE A DESIRE FOR ME, He loved me, He gave Himself for me, and He comes to dwell within me and live HIS LIFE through me, to the glory of God.”  And on page 111: “More and more, however, we begin to comprehend what the Psalmists meant, when he said, “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in His temple,”(Psalm 27:4).  And on page 112: “That we might come to KNOW HIS WAYS – His methods, His purposes.  And then one day He spoke it into our being, there is a realm beyond seeing My acts, and beyond knowing My ways, and that is TO KNOW ME.  To know His person goes beyond all the manifestations that proceed from Him, and brings us to God Himself, that we might have that vital UNION WITH HIM.  “My soul longeth (desireth), yea, even fainteth for the courts of the Lord: my heart and my flesh crieth out for the Living God,” (Psalm 84:2).  Now our desire is becoming CENTERED IN HIM ALONE, and as it does, we also begin to become aware of some of HIS DESIRE TOWARD US!  ”Behold, Thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part Thou shalt make me to know wisdom,” (Psalm 51:6).  And on page 113: “So we discover it is not so much all of our DOING that He desired after all, it was in our BEING – He desired TRUTH in our inward parts.  That we be filled with HIM, for HE is truth! He does desire, truth to dwell within – yes, until we become TRUTH PERSONIFIED.

God, knows what it is to desire – this is more than just what ‘I desire,’ though praise God, our desires and His are merging into one, and we also desire truth in our inward parts, and we also desire MERCY for mankind.  But it is important to recognize the fact that GOD HAS A DESIRE, - and it is a pure desire, never unbalanced, never perverted – “For God cannot be tempted with evil,”(James 1:13).  His desire has always been pure and holy, a righteous desire, for HE is the Incorruptible One.

“For the Lord hath chosen Zion; He hath desired it for His habitation.  This is My rest for ever: here will I dwell, for I have desired it,” (Psalm 132:13-14).

(Please allow me to pause here to explain:  ‘Zion’ is Christ the firstfruits; Christ in His ‘chosen ones; His corporate Body, Him being the HEAD.  Transformed into the image of God, we become the sons of God, ‘Zion’, Christ in us the hope of Glory to proclaim to the world around us the good news that Christ has come to reconcile the whole earth, all of His creation, back into God.  T.R.)

He has long patience until He has worked out every detail, harmonized it all together, and bring forth a PEOPLE who are His ZION COMPANY.  No wonder He desires TRUTH in the inward parts.  We are to become HIS HABITATION, His dwelling place.  And we will need to be “holy as He is holy,” else He cannot dwell in us in fullness.  “Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shall shine,” (Psalm 50:2).

Sovereignly, steadily He works on, to discipline and instruct us, to bring us into that oneness with Himself, He will have His Zion, He foresaw it, He purposed it.  He will have His people.  And He promises this both for Himself, and for us, saying, “I WILL, AND THEY SHALL.” “As God hath said, I WILL DWELL IN THEM, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people,” (II Corinthians 6:16).

Because of His desire to have a people in whom He shall dwell, and because of the necessity of their purity, we also read,   “It is in My desire that I should chastise them,” Hosea 10:10).  Yes, “I am my Beloved’s and His desire is toward me.” “For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth,”(Hebrews 12:6).  This is not chastening for chastening’s sake, this is because of HIS DESIRE TO RECEIVE US INTO HIMSELF, that we might be His resting place, His habitation.

What desire we have that He become our dwelling place, that we might abide “under the shadow of the Almighty,” (Psalm 91:1).  But He also has His desire toward us, that we might be HIS dwelling place.  What implication of a truth, and a revelation of His longing desire, is seen in the words of Jesus, “The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay His head,”(Matthew 8:20).  This is saying more than just the fact that during this earthly time He did not have a permanent home, a place to call His own.  He was still in the process of preparing a people in whom He could dwell, and where He should have a place to lay His head, even to share His authority and power, and in whom He would be AT REST.

So be encouraged and comforted – when you are passing through these times of chastisement, discipline, trial and test, take it as an evident token that HE HAS A DESIRE TOWARD YOU, and that is why He is now working in these dimensions in your life – with a view towards ultimate fulfillment when you become a part of that CORPORATE BODY in whom He shall dwell.  It is not evidence that He is angry with you, nor hating you, and therefore He sets about to punish you – rather, He desires to chastise so that He might receive to Himself a people, and thus consummate His desire for ZION.  He is not lusting against you, He does not burn with a strange fire toward you, but He holds such a pure desire for you, to bring you into oneness with Himself, that He will exercise every operation necessary to bring about this good.

Jesus once said to His disciples, “With desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer,” (Matthew 22:15).  He knew that the Cross was just ahead, and He did not shun that hour, but He was straitened until it would be accomplished.  He was held in restraint to walk it out, but before all that would take place He had a strong desire to eat that Passover with His disciples.  It was not a wild fire that would cause Him to forego walking out all the other phases of His ministry.  He did everything, which the Father purposed, for Him to do, as He steadily walked on towards Calvary’s hour.  He desired to eat the Passover, and then go out and fulfill all the reality of its meaning.  He would not rush it, nor change the sequence, for His desire was holy and pure.

What a lesson in this for us also!  Though we have an intense desire to become ONE IN HIM, to be filled with His fullness, let it be in us a pure desire while we walk out the nitty-gritty of these days appointed us.  There is no grand leap into perfection.  There are no shortcuts into glory.  We are His workmanship, and HE HAS AN EVEN STRONGER DESIRE TOWARDS US, THAN WE HAVE TOWARD Him.  But full well He knows what mundane and routine days are needed for our processing, and He will not rashly change events to hasten the time.  He will bring us to His time, and He holds our inheritance in reserve till that hour.  Long patience is still the vital necessity for His elect!

But, you say, what if I die before these things are fulfilled in me?  Ah, Job speaks with absolute confidence, “If a man die shall he live again?  All the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come.  Thou shalt call, and I will answer Thee:  THOU WILT HAVE A DESIRE to the work of Thine hands,”(Job 14:14-15).

Time, with God, is no problem.  “One day is with the Lord as a thousand year, and a thousand years as one day,” II Peter 3:8).  The time factor does not diminish nor alter His desire toward us.  Job knew that there was a CHANGE which would come to him, be wrought in him.  Not even death could deny him this ultimate victory.  Because the whole thing rests its case in the hands of God - GOD WHO HAS A DESIRE FOR US!  So, Job says whenever in the time appointed, now, or later, when HE calls, I will answer, because HE has a desire for the work of His hands, and He will finish in me what He has begun.

“The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me:  Thy mercy, O Lord, endureth forever.  Forsake not the works of Thine own hands,” (Psalm 138:8).

Rotherham translation brings out the thought, God “will carry through my cause”.  For He is not only the Alpha and the Omega, but He is all the way in between – and HE WILL CARRY THROUGH, HE WILL COMPLETE, HE WILL PERFECT THAT WHICH CONCERNETH ME.  Why?  BECAUSE HIS DESIRE IS TOWARD ME!

Moffatt ends this passage beautifully, “Thy kindness never fails, Thou wilt not drop the work Thou hast begun.”  He will not abandon the work of His hands, not even if physical death overtakes us, He will not drop what He has begun – the victory is secure, total redemption, because “I am my Beloved’s and His desire is toward me!”

Though once our path toward self was turned,
 And strange the fires within that burned,
He wooed us with His love and grace,
Turned us around to see His face.

What love and mercy He revealed –
What tenderness is oft’ concealed
Within His dealings with mankind.
To Him we’ve been so very blind.

How little did we know that He
Had great desire for even me.
And purposed in His wisdom rare
That we should with Him glories share.

For moments brief He turned His face,
And darkness filled the human race,
But then He gave Himself for all –
Total redemption from our fall.

We must be pure with Him to dwell,
And so He came into our hell
To lift us up again, that we
Might have salvation, full and free.

Thus every discipline and test
Be evidence He loves us best –
To transform us, nature divine
To fill each vessel He’s refined.

Work of His hands He shall complete,
For His desire’s more than meet
To finish His appointed task –
Beyond all we could think or ask.

Yes, His desire is toward me,
I marvel at this mystery –
That He would choose one such as I,
His own desire to satisfy.          UNQUOTE
 

II CORINTHIANS 1:1-4

Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, and Timothy our brother, unto the church of God (today) with all the saints…
Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.