| Terrycloth | |
| Why do people drink Moxie, when it tastes like carbonated Ben Gay? |
| Adam | |
 | I thought I listed plenty of reasons already. |
| Adam | |
| But here's Moxie Boy, to fill you in: |
| Moxie Boy | |
 | Moxie helps with a variety of common problems, that our generation faces daily. |
| Moxie Boy | |
| These problems include, but are not limited to: Loss of manhood, faintness of heart, softening of the brain, anorexia, dry mouth, seizures, nausea, and thirst |
| Adam | |
| So there you have it. Pleanty of reasons to drink Moxie. Just plug your nose. |