As Heero quietly left the room, I opened my eyes. So the perfect soldier couldn't get a perfect night's sleep? I grinned. Nice to know he was human. Maybe a night of insomnia might make him a little less effective. Usually it was pretty hard to keep up with him; hopefully my luck was changing. Swinging my legs over the edge of the couch, I sat up. Now the only question was what that guy was up to.

I hesitated. Heero had never been the most open sort of guy. I didn't think he'd take kindly of my following him around in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep, though. I glanced at the clock—it was 2:39. Heero Yuy might be my only diversion at this time of night. I scanned the lounge, where the other three pilots slept peacefully. WuFei was snuggling with his pillow and Quatre and Trowa always slept facing each other, as though they couldn't sleep without seeing the other. Lucky them. I was lonely. And bored. I couldn't even sleep my way into some little chick's arms like WuFei.

I thought of Hilde. Beautiful, spunky, curvy Hilde. It was too bad that nothing had happened there. She was really something—fun to hang out with, too. I'd been waiting for the right opening to start things with her, but it never came. If this fucking war had taught me anything, it was that you don't wait, you act. The image of Hilde lingered in my mind, making me wish I'd made some more provocative memories before leaving her. If I managed to survive these last battles, I'd have to look her up.

WuFei murmured something in his sleep. It was in Chinese. It sounded naughty. Damn him. For a second I considered looking for Yuy. At least he and I had being awake in common, and unlike the Sleeping Stud, I knew that Heero didn't have sex on his mind. I stood, stretching and yawning. He was probably in front of the nearest computer.

Hurried footsteps in the hall made me reconsider. Climbing back into my makeshift bed, I closed my eyes, breathing deeply in a fake snore. If someone was looking for a volunteer for late-night chores, they sure weren't gonna find me awake. I'd learned that lesson last night. Geez! It was almost three AM! What kind of maniac would want her sick-room floors scrubbed at 3:00 in the fucking morning?

The door slid open and slammed shut again. Heero? He tromped across the lounge and flung open the bathroom door. I peeked through my lashes. I'd never seen him so agitated. I stifled a laugh, choking on another snore. He'd left the door cracked open, and I could just barely see him hunched over the sink, splashing water on his face. It looked like he was giving himself a pep-talk. Yeah, get 'em, Tiger.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Yuy?" Heero's voice was muffled, but I couldn't help overhearing as I leaned as far as I could reach toward the open door. I steadied my hand against the floor, hoping I wouldn't tumble off the couch. He definitely wouldn't like my interrupting this touching moment with himself.

So what was wrong with him? Granted, I hadn't known the guy for very long, but this angst thing seemed totally out of character for him. I hoped he wasn't thinking of joining forces with Zechs and the White Fang. That was just the kind of thing he'd do, especially if he thought his reasons were justified. I glanced into the bathroom again.

Yikes! Suddenly I doubted very much that he had Zechs Marquise on his mind at all—at least, I really hoped not. Mortified, I twisted my face away from the scene, burying it in my pillow. I don't know why I was so shocked—we all did it at one time or other—I even joked with WuFei about it from time to time. After all, we were fifteen years old. But Heero? Somehow I always thought he was different, that he wasn't the type to spank his monkey in the bathroom in the middle of the night. I groaned. Too bad he wasn't the type to close the door.

A noise from the floor warned me that my groan had disturbed one of my friends. I clenched my eyes shut and snored loudly. I really didn't want to be associated in any way with what Heero was up to.

My disturbed friend was Trowa. I could hear his footsteps as he crept toward the open bathroom door. Don't do it Trowa! Go back to sleep with the door open, damn it. It would've been funny except for the bloodshed that would no doubt follow.

"A hand's no substitute for a warm body, huh?"

What the hell?! I gritted my teeth together. I had no idea that Trowa was so suicidal.

Time passed. I opened my eyes. What? No fighting? Now I was scared. Trowa had apparently knocked the door mostly shut—I couldn't see what was going on. I kinda got the feelings that this was a good thing.

So what was going on with those guys? I could've sworn that Trowa had a thing for Quatre. Hell, I could've sworn that Yuy was asexual. Guess I was wrong on both counts. I glanced over to where Quatre lay sleeping. It didn't seem fair.

A gasp from the far corner of the room took my attention from the little prince. WuFei was tangled in his sheets, a smile twisting his features. I recognized that smile. Heero was probably smiling that smile. Damn. I'd never been blessed with wet dreams.

Suddenly the Chinese pilot issued a throaty growl. I was mortified. He clutched his pillow, purring contentedly and murmuring words he must've learned from Chinese romance novels. I sort of wished I had a tape recorder, but at the same time, I was glad no one knew I was awake. You know bad things are happening in the universe when Duo Maxwell is the only one who isn't getting any.

Moans from the bathroom emphasized my point. I wondered if Miss Noin would feel too betrayed if I just left. Another night like this could kill me. I closed my eyes, this time really meaning it when I resolved to go to sleep.

"Quiet, woman!" WuFei's angry growl opened my eyes again. I sat up, curious at this strange turn of events. He was still asleep, but his face was tense and his fists clenched in his hair. Trouble in paradise?

A string of rough Mandarin cussing followed, and I was getting worried. This didn't sound like WuFei at all.

Quatre shifted in his bed and I just as quickly threw myself back onto my pillow. I didn't quite see the point of faking it now, but I found myself trying to convince my friend that I was really unconscious.

"Thank you." Heero? Oh hell. If I could hear it, so could Quatre. Suddenly I felt rewarded for my night of vigilance. It looked like the fun was about to begin. I snored loudly, hamming it up with a mid-snore choke.

"Yow!" The idiot stepped on my boot. I snickered, hiding it behind a restless sigh. "Wuuufie," I murmured happily, pretending to be in the throes of a dream consisting of WuFei and kittens. You'd think that a kid trained for war could've learned a little stealth.

A slight commotion came from WuFei's side of the room. Apparently Quatre's graceful tumble woke him up. Good one, blondie. Now we were all awake.

I think Quatre must've told him to go back to sleep, because he proceeded his stealthy assault on the bathroom door. I twisted on the couch, blatantly watching. Quatre was too caught up in his work to notice me, and by the looks of it, WuFei was spacing out, not exactly with us. Fine by me.

Trowa and Heero were talking. I couldn't hear it, but Quatre could. He looked like he didn't know whether to scream or run away. I'd vote for run—now that all the fun was over, they were bound to come out of there soon.

The door opened. I pulled my sheet over my head, letting myself sink into my pillow. I'd help Quatre if Heero started swinging, but otherwise I wanted no part in this.

I was shocked when Heero spoke, his voice friendly. "Go easy on him, okay?" Wow—so Trowa and Quatre really were a couple. I suspected, but the proof made it a little weird. Well, not as weird as Trowa giving Heero a blow-job, but definitely odd.

Quatre was pissed. I could hear it in the way he stammered and how his voice shook. I imagined his face bright red and hostile. Cute. I caught myself—three homosexuals in one room were quite enough. I didn't need the complication. I thought about Hilde naked. Inspired, I imagined Noin and Sally naked, too. I grinned. My gay friends didn't know what they were missing.

After playing through my foursome fantasy a couple of times, I glanced around the room. Everyone was back in bed. Trowa and Quatre seemed a bit closer together than usual, and Heero was already sound asleep. WuFei sat huddled on his couch, his eyes wild. I didn't want to know how a dream that sounded so sexy could make a guy look so deadly.

I was thirsty. I knew I could get a drink of water from the bathroom, but I hesitated. I wasn't sure I wanted to go in there just yet. The kitchen sounded much better, and who knew? I might just run into Sally or Noin. I smoothed my hair, rebraiding the end—it was best to be prepared for whatever might happen.

After walking all the way to the kitchens without seeing so much as a shadow of a woman, I was a little tired. Maybe a mug of hot chocolate and then back to bed. I finally felt ready to sleep. I flicked on the light and was shocked by the mess. The trashcan had been tipped over, beer cans had been tossed around, and there were water rings all over the stainless steel prep table. Sally would freak if she saw this.

A scrap of dark green material caught my attention. No way—Heero Yuy's shirt. I plucked it off of the mixer—clearly it had been flung. I started to laugh. So Heero had been drinking, but thoughts of Trowa got him so hot and bothered that he had to go take care of things? I was almost impressed. Usually alcohol had the opposite effect.

I started picking up the beer cans, righting the trash to throw them away. He owed me one. I got a towel from the sink to wipe off the table. God forbid Sally find rings. Picking up the newspaper to clean beneath is, I paused.

Smiling beautifully from the front page was a stunning picture of Relina Peacecraft. Suddenly I understood. This was more like the Heero Yuy I knew. I sat down, picking a half-empty can up from the table and taking a swig. Relina was a hottie—no wonder my pal hadn't been able to just go back to bed.

I closed my eyes, conjuring up her long blonde hair and lovely legs. She'd look good with Hilde. Making myself more comfortable in the chair, I imagined them peeling each other's clothes off. Suddenly it seemed I wouldn't be going to sleep after all.