This one came to me in the middle of one of my history lectures. I think we were studying ritual sexual practices of the Southwestern U.S. and northern Mexican natives. That might explain the raging hormones present in this fic.

Oh yeah-the gundam boys and girls aren't mine (*sob*), so I really shouldn't be using them. Please don't sue me, Sunrise and whoever else has the rights.

pairings: 1+2, 1+R, 2+Hilde, 2+5, 3+4, 4+9, 5+Sally, 5+13, 6+1, 6+9, 13+Une, 13+Dorothy, Dorothy+R, Dorothy+4, 9+Sally. I hope I got them all. ^_^

warnings: well, shounen ai, hints of a yuri past for some characters, OOC, a little Relena-sympathetic, I suppose (sorry, I like her), plenty of Zechs-bashing (I'm so mean to him). Other than that, I can't think of much--unless you object to guys kissing guys and girls kissing girls.

C&C welcome, naturally. You can send flames, if you want me to laugh or cry or send nasty comments back.

Spin the Bottle

They were all in a familiar room—an incredibly large room, actually. There was enough space for Treize to lounge, for Duo to run around, for Trowa to practice his lovely 360 degree flip, and the acoustics were great, making a perfect echo every time Relena cried Heero's name. This large, familiar room was, in fact, a waiting room of sorts for the characters. The air was filled with an unusual vibe that made them strangely . . . out of character.

They were milling about, doing their usual things. As mentioned before, Trowa was practicing his acrobatics; Treize was lounging; Une was target-shooting in one corner; Quatre was playing a piano sonata while Dorothy hovered over him; Noin sat in the center of the room, reviewing a chart of new battle plans. On the other side of the room, Heero sat on the floor with his laptop, downloading pictures of . . . enemy mobile suits; Relena was at his side, trying to get his attention; WuFei and Sally were arguing nearby, oblivious to all the others; Duo ran around the room, poking his nose into places it didn't belong; Zechs sat on the floor with his shirt off, drinking his Wild Turkey; Hilde and Catherine were gushing over Zechs liked little teeny-boppers.

Zechs finished his drink and struck a pose, enjoying the squeals of his fan club. This had been going on for over twenty minutes. Noin finally ended it by taking the bottle and whacking Zechs upside the head.

Duo, who happened to be running by, shouted: "Hey! I have an idea! Let's play Spin the Bottle!"

The others shrugged and sat in a circle. They had been hanging out in this "fan-fic waiting room" without much to do.

"No," WuFei said with an angry glare, refusing to sit.

"Please?" Sally asked, clinging to one arm. WuFei's eyes softened.

"Please?" Treize asked, clinging to the other. WuFei softened some more.

"All right." He sat down between them.

"I'll go first," Relena offered, trying to catch Heero's eye. He wasn't looking. With a sigh, she took the bottle from Noin and spun it roughly on the floor. It landed pointing at Trowa Barton. "Great," she muttered.

Trowa shrugged and crossed the circle. He placed a nice but chaste kiss on her lips. Then he sat down again, wordlessly.

Relena sighed again. "Wonderful," she muttered. "My first kiss was from someone with as much feeling as a dead fish." She turned away and pouted, arms crossed over her chest.

Zechs grabbed the bottle. "My turn." He spun it swiftly and watched it gradually slow down and land on Heero. Zechs gazed at the younger pilot, licking his lips hungrily.

Heero turned to Duo, suddenly. "You started this game. I'm going to kill you," he informed the braided boy, pulling a gun from somewhere within his amazingly durable and revealing 80% gundanium spandex shorts.

"How does he do that?" Relena asked.

"He's amazing!" Dorothy's strange blue eyes widened.

Heero, distracted by Duo's defensive protests, had forgotten about Zechs, until he felt the tall blond's hands wrapping around his waist from behind.

"It's only fitting," Zechs whispered seductively, "since we're the two best pilots in the world." He gently turned Heero around and gave him a slow, passionate kiss. "Was that so bad now?"

Heero gave Zechs the Ultimate-Death-Stare (TM) and sat back down between Catherine and Une. "I'm going to kill you, Zechs Merquise," he murmured.

Sally pulled her hand away from WuFei's arm only long enough to spin the bottle. She watched it closely, praying it would land on WuFei. It did.

"Woman!" His voice was low and angry. "How did you manage that?"

"Ooh, I love it when you're fierce," she whispered huskily. She grabbed him and pulled him toward her; their lips locked as if there would be no tomorrow.

Several minutes later, after Duo had tired of singing "The Song that Never Ends," Treize leaned over and tapped WuFei's shoulder. "Ah, Little Dragon, it's your turn."

WuFei pulled away from Sally and reached for the bottle. With a swift flick of the wrist, the bottle was put into action. It landed on Duo Maxwell. WuFei hid an evil grin behind his hand.

Duo was happy to pay the penalty. "Come here, WuFei-baby," he purred, crawling on his hands and knees toward the Chinese pilot. "Me love you long time."

WuFei joined Duo's little game, crawling toward the center of the ring until their lips met in a deep kiss. It ended abruptly, though, with Duo's yelp of pain.

He pulled away, checking his mouth for blood. "Thath athhole bith by thongue!" he hollered, holding on to his tongue.

"That's what you get for acting like a wanton whore, Maxwell," WuFei said, taking his seat between Sally and Treize.

Treize seized the bottle and spun it lightly. It made only two full rotations before pointing at Catherine. "My lady?" he smiled seductively.

"No." Trowa's voice was unusually cold. "I'm not letting my sister kiss you."

"Oh, Trowa, grow up!" Catherine said as she stood up to cross the circle. "I'm a big girl; I can take care of myself."

Treize reached out and pulled her body against his in a firm embrace. His kiss was romantic and suave. When he finally let go, Catherine stumbled, her knees weak from his kiss.

"Wow," she breathed, flashing him an adoring smile before she returned to her seat.

"All right!" Hilde cried. "Now it's my turn!" She spun the bottle enthusiastically and it gradually would down, singling out Zechs. Hilde squealed and ran over to him.

"I'm so jealous!" Catherine cried. (Treize, meanwhile, face-faulted.)

"What's so great about him?" Duo demanded, obviously jealous of the attention Zechs received.

"What's not?" a chorus of girls cried back, except for Relena, who was busy trying to coerce a smile from Heero's lips. (author's note: yeah, right! good luck, relena!)

Zechs, adoring the praise of his fans, swept Hilde into his arms for a spine-tingling kiss. Or so he thought. When he set her down she stood there, perplexed.

"Gee," she said. "Duo, even your kissing's better than that!"

Heero nodded in agreement.

Duo took a few bows, despite the booing coming from the general direction of Noin. Zechs hung his head low, receiving a sympathetic pat on the shoulder from his sister. In his own little world, unbeknownst to others, giant stone characters for the words "shame" and "denied" were crashing down upon his head. "It's my turn now?" Quatre asked as Dorothy handed him the bottle. He grimaced upon the sight of her sultry grin. He set the bottle down and spun it, afraid to see what it would lead to. He closed his eyes.

"Relax," Noin whispered in his ear. "It's just me." She leaned close, lapping at his earlobe seductively. She turned his wide-eyed face toward her own and kissed him thoroughly. He kissed back eagerly despite his inexperience. She finally broke the kiss, gently pushing him away.

He blushed furiously as Noin picked up the bottle.

"I know who I want it to land on," Noin mumbled, looking at the shy blond out of the corner of her eye as she spun the bottle. It stopped spinning, pointing directly at Sally. They both grinned, then crawled to the center of the room to kiss.

"That kind of reminds me of your academy years," Zechs smirked at Noin. Sally grinned wolfishly. "Me, too."

"At last," Dorothy sighed once the cheering died away. "It's my turn." She eyed Relena and swiftly turned the bottle. It's neck pointed at Une once it stopped rotating.

She crossed the circle and planted a wet, sloppy kiss on the lady's mouth. The only sound heard was Treize's sharp intake of air. Dorothy stomped back to her seat, wishing she could've had Relena instead.

Trowa wordlessly picked up the bottle and spun it gently. It rotated slowly, and finally stopped with the neck facing Quatre. "Perfect," the tall pilot whispered, eyeing the blushing Arabian.

Quatre scooted over to Trowa's side and hesitantly pulled him close. Trowa's lips clamped on his fiercely; Quatre felt himself being drawn into the other boy's lap. The others watched with surprise—who'd have guessed? (author's note: *snicker* yeah right!)

They obviously weren't stopping any time soon (much to Noin's disappointment, now that she'd developed a soft spot for the blond), so Catherine grabbed the bottle and turned it. It landed on Hilde.

"What?" Hilde squeaked. "I'm not going to kiss a girl!"

"Really?" Catherine asked, pulling out her knives. She skillfully threw them at Hilde, pinning the girl's sweater to the floor.

"Now this is what I call a fun game!" Duo cried, eyeing the girls lustfully.

Catherine gave Hilde a deep kiss, finishing at the same time as Trowa and Quatre. "Not bad," Catherine said, removing the knives.

"Better than Zechs!" Hilde laughed.

Zechs glared at everyone nastily, stealing Heero's Ultimate-Death-Glare.

"Heero!" Relena cried eagerly. "It's your turn!"

He nodded and took the bottle. Glancing around the circle, he calculated the distance between each person and figured out exactly how much pressure would need to be exerted if he compensated for the friction of gravity. Finally he spun the bottle. It landed facing Relena, and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly.

"So, Yuy," Zechs chided, "you want to keep it in the Peacecraft family?"

Heero growled and went over to kiss Relena. It was a nice, simple—but long—kiss. After a moment Heero pulled away, his eyes shifting back and forth between Zechs and Relena. "Hmm . . . it's definitely not genetic," he said, pulling Relena close for another kiss.

Une took the bottle once Heero was back in his seat. After a brief spin it pointed toward Treize. Une smiled and marched toward him, grabbing him by the collar.

"Ah," he said. "I know how to make this better." He unpinned her hair and removed her glasses before he kissed her. She responded with latent, unbridled passion.

"Yay! It's finally my turn!" Duo cheered, reaching for the bottle. He spun it rapidly and face-faulted when it landed on Dorothy. "Ugh—do I have to?"

"This game was your idea, Maxwell," WuFei growled.

"It's your mission," Heero stated with a glare.

". . ." Trowa replied enthusiastically.

"It's not that bad," Quatre said softly. The other four pilots stared at him with wide eyes, and he blushed deeply.

Dorothy happily kissed Duo, and he promptly wiped off the kiss. "I don't wanna play anymore!" he whined.

The others agreed to quit, and gradually went back to their previous activities.

Suddenly the door at the end of the room opened and a fanfic writer in a white lab coat came out, holding a clipboard. "If I could have your attention, please? I need to see the following people for the next lemon: Trowa Barton, WuFei Chang, Duo Maxwell, Lucrezia Noin, Quatre Raberba Winner, and Heero Yuy."

They stood and headed for the door, Noin smiling wickedly.

"So unfair," Zechs sighed.

The others nodded their agreement as the door closed.

"Anyone up for strip poker?" Treize asked.

"Sure!" the girls chorused, crowding around him. Treize grinned and slapped a high five with Zechs.