This fic is an early
present for my GWML & OAFml wifey, Mephistopheles. (Happy, Meph? I used the
full name!!) So, with much love and
glomps and cyber-pocky, I bestow upon her this little gift. ^_^ It’s a parody
of the wonderful book “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad
Day” by Judith Viorst.
Warnings: humor,
shounen ai/yaoi implications, silliness, run-on sentences (a very childlike
narration).
Wufei POV
Disclaimer:
Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise and the Sotsu Agency. “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”
belongs to Judith Viorst.
I went to sleep with
gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this
morning I stepped on my sword and by mistake I dropped my white shirt in the
sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible,
horrible, unjust, very bad day.
At breakfast Trowa
found a toy clown in his breakfast cereal box and Heero found a mobile suite in
his breakfast cereal box but in my breakfast cereal box all I found was cereal.
I think I’ll move to
Earth.
In the car, Heero let
Quatre have a seat by the window. Duo
and Trowa got seats by the window, too.
I said I was being scrunched. I
said I was being smushed. I said, if I
don’t get a seat by the window I am going to be carsick. No one even answered.
I could tell that it
was going to be a terrible, horrible, unjust, very bad day.
At school Master O
liked Duo’s picture of the god of death better than my picture of the invisible
dragon.
At singing time
Professor G said I sang too loud. And
at math time, he said I left out thirteen.
Who needs thirteen?
I could tell that it
was going to be a terrible, horrible, unjust, very bad day.
I could tell because
Duo said I wasn’t his best friend anymore.
He said Quatre was his best friend, and Heero was his next best friend
and that Trowa was his third best friend and that I was only his fourth best
friend.
There were two
cupcakes in Trowa’s lunch bag and Duo got a Hershey bar with almonds and Sally
packed Quatre and Heero pieces of jelly rolls that had little coconut sprinkles
on the top. Guess whose lunch Sally
forgot to put dessert in?
It was a terrible,
horrible, unjust, very bad day.
That’s what it was,
because after Gundam School Sally took us all to the dentist and Dr. J found a
cavity just in me. Come back next week
and I’ll fix it, said Dr. J.
Next week, I said,
I’m going to Earth.
On the way downstairs
the elevator door closed on my foot and while we were waiting for Sally to get
the car Heero made me fall where it was muddy and then when I started howling
because of the mud on my white pants Duo said I was crybaby and while I was
punching Duo for saying crybaby Sally came back with the car and scolded me for
being muddy and fighting.
I am having a
terrible, horrible, unjust, very bad day, I told everybody. No one even answered.
So then we went to
the store to buy shoes. Duo chose brown
boots. Heero chose yellow shoes. I chose black ones, but then the shoe man said,
We’re all sold out. They made me buy
plain old white ones, but they can’t make me wear them.
There were lima beans
with dinner and I hate lima beans.
There was kissing on
TV and I hate kissing.
My bath was too hot,
I got soap in my eyes, and I had to wear my panda pajamas. I hate my panda pajamas.
When I went to bed
Duo took back the pillow he said I could keep, and the Nataku night-light
burned out and I bit my tongue.
And Quatre wants to
sleep with Trowa, not with me.
It has been a
terrible, horrible, unjust, very bad day.
Sally says some days
are like that.
Even
on Earth.