| Qiana Silver |
| Date 2.4.03 |
| Personal Experience Essay |
| Conquering the Math Beast |
| For ten years I've been giving in to my fear of algebraic expressions. A year after dropping out of high school, I attempted the GED and failed the math portion. The math beast has whispered defeat in my ear ever since. |
| I never had the time for GED classes; being a single parent leaves little room for much els besides work, which is an obligation. Sick of my living situation, I decided to move back to Virginia eager to make the necessary changes. I purchased a very inexpensive, official GED math work book and studied it every chance I could, determined that this time I'd get it. |
| "You'll never remember it all!" The beast wouldwhisper. I'd ignore its taunts, but I knew that sooner or later I'd have to deal with it. |
| On the morning of October 19th, 2002 I stood in a long line with at least twenty others, waiting in anticipation to be ushered into Warwick High School's freezing cafeteria where the GED test was given. My trusted note book eased my mind with it's solutions and formulas written in my curvy script. I said a silent prayer for everyone there to pass the exam with flying colors as I skimmed through the notes. Then the line began to move. We filed into the meat locker dinning hall and received our first set of instructions. The test host - a short, middle aged Black man - explained to us that the temperature of the room was beyond their control due to some repairs that were happening a few halls over. He then had us show him proof that we all belonged there, and once that was established, we could take our seats. Mine was assigned in an area of the large room that was directly under an air duct. |
| Once the room settled down, the host informed us that we could use the provided calculators for the first part of the math exam only, and that we had forty-five minutes to complete that section. I was really hoping that math would at least be the second subject so that I could study my notes a little more. The beast heard my thoughts and started his taunt, "How many times have you learned this stuff?" I hushed the beast as it cackled at me. In the end, I used the calculator a grand total of three times. |
| Part two of the math section was much more complicated. Fractions leered at me from the test booklet. X and Y attached themselves to negative numbers, addition turned into subtraction, and vice versa. The formulas I'd studied for perimeter and distance eluded my memory; the beast laughed in the empty brain cells that once contained them. I bit my lip and pressed on through the mathematic assault - mostly to stop my teeth from chattering under the cold air blowing on my head. After an hour and a half, the host called for a halt to all pencils. The whole room breathed a sigh of relief. |
| "Well, the worst is over," I thought to myself as I sat in my car eating one of the sandwiches I'd packed for lunch. When I finished the sandwich I called my mother to check on my kids and tell her how they sprang the hard part on us first. She gave me a little pep talk and confirmed that I was indeed through the storm, and that the rest of the test was going to be a breeze. She was right, of course. By the end of the break, I started to feel a little silly for worrying so much. With that, I returned to the icebox café and sat in my cold chair, ready to ace the rest of the test. |
| Less than a month later, I received a large envelope in the mail. When I opened it and saw my name on the document, spelled correctly, I could hardly contain myself. Everybody I knew got a phone call from me with my good news. They all congratulated me and said they knew I could do it. I promised them all a copy of the paper trophy and thanked them for believing in me. My children, however, are the ones who really made me feel special, with their little dance of joy and matching song. It was good to see that they understood how important this was for all of us, and how essential it is to life. |
| Getting my GED was one of the best things I' ve done in my life; it has given me a level of confidence I didn't have before. I' m not ashamed about not graduating from high school anymore because I' ve discovered something about myself through this challenge: that I really can do anything I set out to do. I gave that test my best shot and I succeeded. I also learned that I enjoyed the challenge; it made me want to do more. So, at age twenty-seven with four children, I' ve become a college student. |
| And as for the math beast... he lives no more. |