Author: Eclipse |
E-Mail: sailor-eclipse@yahoo.com |
Homepage: http://www.legendarymoon.f2s.com |
Title: Sailor Moon: Silent All These Years |
Rating: G |
|
----------------------------------------------
Quick A.N.: For those of you who don't know the Japanese names...
Usagi/Usako- Serena
Mamoru/Mamo-chan- Darien
Motoki- Andrew
Unazuki- Lizzy (Andrew's sister)
Ami- Amy
Rei- Raye
Makoto- Lita
Minako- Mina
Tuxedo Kamen- Tuxedo Mask
youma- monster
Odango- dumpling (used to describe Serena's hairstyle of
spaghetti and meatballs)
She walked dejectedly down the street. He had just told her to leave
him alone again. Why was he being so cold? She just didn't understand
it. Had she done something wrong? Were her grades making him think
she was a bubble brained airhead? She knew he was smart. He always had
been. Was it that he wanted someone he could talk to about intellectual
things? She paused and looked at the gleaming sidewalk in front of her.
Tears filled her eyes to their brims.
'Can I really help the fact that I'm not as smart as Amy?' she
thought helplessly. Her heart sank. Could it really be that? She had
almost passed by her destination as her thoughts meandered through the
countless possibilities of why Mamoru had so suddenly became hateful
toward her. She turned and entered the video game center with hopes of
taking her mind off of Darien.
{Excuse me, but can I be you for a while?}
{My dog won't bite if you sit real still.}
{I got the Antichrist in the kitchen}
{Yellin' at me again.}
{Yeah, I can hear that.}
-----------------------------------------------------------
He leaned against the door. Why did she have to be so
difficult? Couldn't she just get the point and leave him alone? It was
bad enough that he had genuinely cared for her, now he had to protect
her from... well, himself. All because of a stupid dream. He grunted
and forced himself to get ready for work. He had only five minutes
once he had stepped out of the shower. Darien ran through his apartment
hurriedly getting ready, this new job was already putting a strain on
him and it was only his first day. He grabbed a garbage bag that was
full and sitting by the door, waiting to be taken down to the dumpster.
He raced down the steps, not having the patience to wait for the
elevator, and tossed the bag in the dumpster on his way by.
{Been saved again by the garbage truck.}
{I got somethin' to say, you know, but nothing comes.}
{Yes, I know what you think of me,}
{You never shut up.}
{Yeah, I can hear that.}
------------------------------------------------------------
She sighed. What now? The video games had only suceeded in
making her feel more depressed because Motoki's girlfriend had shown up
with a picnic meal for them. She sighed and left her Sailor V game
unfinished.
Later, she had met the others for ice cream and a
discussion about Chibi Usa. They had been speaking something of a
Crystal Tokyo when a loud motorcycle had pulled up at a nearby stop
light.
"Stop that racket!" she screamed over the loud rumble of the engine.
The driver of the motorcycle lifted the visor of his helmet to show
her who it was. Mamo-chan... Her heart stopped. There was a woman on
the back of the motorcycle clinging to Mamoru's waist.
"Oh," she muttered, "Mamo-chan!" She yelled and ran towards him,
completely forgetting about her ice cream. Both Mamoru and the girl
looked at her, confused.
"Mamoru, who is that?" the woman behind him asked.
"Oh, that's just some girl I know," he answered. The light turned
green and they sped off. Usagi collapsed to her knees, staring after
him in disbelief.
"I'm just... some girl..." he mumbled as her lower lip began to
quiver and her vision was blurred with her tears. The girls had
gathered around her, trying to comfort her but only made her feel more
miserable. She stood up and ran. She didn't know where she was going,
but she knew she couldn't sit there and cry.
'I'll make myself a better person Chiba Mamoru. And you'll be sorry
you let me go!" she thought angrily as her feet drummed on the
pavement.
{But what if I'm a mermaid}
{In these jeans of his}
{With her name still on it?}
{Hey, but I don't care,}
{'Cause sometimes,}
{I said, sometimes I hear my voice,}
{An' it's been here,}
{Silent all these years.}
------------------------------------------------------
Mamoru cursed himself for doing what he had just done. He was
a lousy human being by his own standards. The look of utter disbelief
and hurt in her eyes was enough to make him cringe.
'I'm sorry Usako... I'm sorry I have to hurt you like this... but it
hurts me too,' he thought as his motorcycle sped through the tunnel.
Unazuki held his waist tighter.
"Mamoru, you're going awfully fast..." she said in his ear. He
muttered his apology and slowed down.
-------------------------------------------------------
Usagi slowed in front of a beauty parlor, out of breath. She
put her hand on the glass and used it to support some of her meager
bodyweight. She hadn't eaten in such a long while. Not since...
since... She didn't want to even think about it. Her stomach growled
in protest, reminding her that it was still there.
'So my Mamo-chan has moved on? Is she really smart Mamoru?' she
thought as she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the window. She
decided to go into the parlor to see if they could make her look older
than the child she was. This was it. She was going to launch a full out
war on Mamoru, to show him how little she needed him.
{So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts.}
{What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?}
{Boy, you best pray that I bleed real soon.}
{How's that thought for you?}
-----------------------------------------------------------------
He stopped in front of a large hourse in the middle of the
country side. Unazuki smiled and kissed his cheek after she thanked
him. He watched her run up the sidewalk and into the house. He knew
she was only a friend, but even if she were more, she would never
equal what Usagi had meant to him. No one ever would. He climbed back
onto his motorcycle and rode out to the piers.
Mamoru stood at the end of one of the docks, holding his helmet
and gazing up at the stars. A group of them made an outline of Usagi's
face, or so it seemed to him. His head dropped and warms tears fell
from his cheeks.
'I am nothing withhout her...' he thought miserably.
{My scream got lost in a paper cup.}
{Think there's a heaven}
{Where some screams have gone?}
{I got twenty-five bucks an' a cracker,}
{Do you think it's enough to get us there?}
-----------------------------------------------------------
Usagi stepped out of the beauty parlor feeling like a new
person. It was amazing what they could do for one's self image. She now
had a bag full of make up and a curling iron carried at her side. Her
hair was now up in a high bun on her head and some light make up
accentuated her delicate features. On her way home, she recieved many
cat calls from high school boys driving by with a car full of their
friends. She smiled and gave them a little wave in appreciation. She
intentionally went the long way home, which took her right by
Mamoru's apartment building. She didn't know why, but she wanted to see
him as heart-broken as she was... no... is. She turned onto the block
that he lived on just as he had pulled into the parking garage. She
took a deep breath and continued with her head held high, pretending
she didn't see him. She wanted to make him speak first.
{'Cause what if I'm a mermaid}
{In these jeans of his}
{With her name still on it?}
{Hey, but I don't care,}
{'Cause sometimes,}
{I said, sometimes I hear my voice,}
{An' it's been here,}
{Silent all these...}
---------------------------------------------------------------
Mamoru meandered up the steps from the parking garage. He
looked up to see... to see the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.
He even ventured so far to say that she was almost as beautiful as
Usagi's inner beauty. As he neared her, her gentle features came into
view, then her beautiful, bright blue eyes, and shimmering gold hair.
It was his Usako! Only... her hair was different... He liked it, but
he still favored the odango hairstyle. He stopped directly in her path.
She stopped and glared up at him, a look few had seen.
"Usako?" she started, "You look... Your hair-"
"Yes Mamoru?" she interrupted, "I must get home now. My parents are
expecting me for dinner." She had an impatient tone to her voice. It
made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Her shrank back
slightly, surprised that she would speak to him that way. He suddenly
became angry with her.
"Why did you change yourself?!" he yelled. She returned the icy cold
look that he had given her. He shrank back more. With an angry growl of
frustration, he turned and stormed up the steps in front of the
building. She stared after him, that same look in her eyes as before
their encounter.
----------------------------------------------------------
It was more than a week before they ran into each other again.
Usagi hadn't slept well since before Mamoru had broken up with her. The
past few nights had been the worst. She had an empty feeling to go
along with the rejection of the initial brake up. Usagi's grades
dropped from almost passing to one which she could count on her
fingers. It felt like an eternity had passed, to her, as she sat in
detention. She was late every day now. Try as she might, she just
couldn't help feeling depressed. The senshi all knew something was
wrong, but try as they might, they just couldn't squeeze a reason out
of her. She always came home straight from detention, not stopping for
an ice cream or for a quick video game. Motoki had watched her, for a
week, walk straight by the arcade without even a glance in the window.
It looked as if she had been losing weight now too. He didn't hestiate
in letting Mamoru know her condition because it had always seemed that
Mamoru had been watching over her. Mamoru just shrugged it off to his
friend but deep inside, he was being crushed and mangled at every l
ittle description his friend had related to him.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Usagi had walked into the house and dropped her book bag by the
door. She deposited her shoes on the mat and continued up the stairs to
her bedroom. She closed and locked the door behind her. She looked
around her room. It was a typical girl's room, pink here and purple
there, with stuffed animals everywhere. She walked over to her bed and
lifted her favorite of her stuffed animals from it's comfortable
resting spot on her pillow. It was a semi large, pink stuffed bunny.
She clutched it tight to her chest.She fell onto her bed using the
stuffed rabbit to muffle her cries of pain, hatred, and frustration.
It was so difficult not to show how much she really had needed him.
She had been experimenting with different styles of doing her
hair and settled on tying it all back in a high bun. She had liked the
way it made her look, very sophisticated and intelligent. She sat up
after her tears had stopped flowing and looked out the window, ignoring
her own reflection. It was twilight now and a few stars were beginning
to dot the darkening sky. The moon was just beginning to show itself
over the horizon. Tears dripped down her cheeks as she remembered the
way their love had been back in the Moon Kingdom.
{Years go by.}
{Will I still be waiting?}
{For somebody else to understand?}
{Years go by.}
{If I'm stripped of my beauty}
{And the orange clouds raining in my head...}
--------------------------------------------------------
Mamoru charges up to his apartment in a desperate attempt to
flee from Motoki's questions about Usagi. Motoki had finally figured
out that there was something between them, or at least there had been,
and was now trying to figure out why Mamoru had dumped her. Mamoru
lets out a sigh of relief as he collapses into a large stuffed chair
in his living room. How much longer would he avoid her before he
finally was able to confront her with his feelings and about the dream.
He wasn't sure how much longer he could handle those glares of ice she
now shot him. It wasn't in her nature. Could she truely hate him so?
These questions had plagued him for too long. He stood up and glanced
at the clock. 10 pm. Would she be asleep? Probably. With those slough-
like sleeping habits, she probably would have been in bed, asleep,
hours ago.
He went back to his bedroom and changed into his boxers. He
brushed his teeth in the adjoining bathroom then crawled into bed with
hopes of actually getting some rest. He lay on his side and saw the
picture he had kept on his night stand. It was of him and Usako when
she had brought him a lunch (made by Makoto of course). They had gone
to the park to eat it. He sighed and closed his eyes, unaware of the
tears rolling down his pillow.
{Years go by.}
{Will I choke on my tears?}
{'Till finally there is nothing left}
{One more casualty}
{You know we're too easy... easy... easy}
------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day, Usagi charged down the sidewalk, late for a
senshi meeting. Mamoru was carrying a stack of papers from the building
he had worked in to the company's other building a block down. He
rounded the corner just as she had glanced up to see the bus to Rei's
temple rolling down the street. She muttered a curse and pushed her
legs to move her faster. **CRASH** In a flash of light and a snow
shower of papers, Usagi and Mamoru had their first encounter in a week.
Usagi quickly scrambled to her feet mumbling quick apologies, not even
bothering to see who it was she crashed into. She turned to take off
toward the bus stop when a hand grabbed her arm. She turned around, her
face twisted in pain and confusion.
"Would you please let-" she started and looked into the face she had
missed so much.
"Usako... Will you talk with me?" he asked quietly, almost afraid to
see her reaction. She glanced down the street at the bus she had missed
and sighed.
"Fine. Let's get these papers cleaned up," she agreed and added
quickly, "but you're explaining it to Rei." He laughed and nodded as
she bent down to pick up the papers. They dropped the papers off at the
appropriate building and Mamoru had taken his lunch break. While she
waited, Usagi had used her comminucator to call the others and tell
them she'd miss the meeting. Rei grumbled but agreed to let her go this
time.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Mamoru had treated her to lunch at a café near the video
arcade. She stared at his solemn features trying to figure out what he
was going to say so she could prepare herself while trying to mask her
own feelings for him. They ate in silence, only commenting on how good
the food was. She was about to leave when he stopped her again.
"Usako-" he started.
"My name is Usagi," she interrupted. He nodded understandingly.
"Usagi, I wanted to tell you... I... It's not that..." he stuttered.
Usagi was shocked at hearing him stutter. He always knew what to say
and she had never heard him like this before. Suddenly his pager went
off and he stood up.
"I'm sorry Usagi. I've gotta go," he said as he dropped the money for
the bill and tip on the table. He rushed out of the café and
disappeared into the lunch crowd of people. Usagi sighed. She had
gotten nothing from his expression. She was frustrated and wanted to be
alone to think. Usagi trudges home in the heat of the day.
{Well, I love the way we communicate.}
{Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape.}
{Let's hear what you think of me now,}
{But, baby, don't look up -}
{The sky is fallin'.}
-----------------------------------------------------------
Mamoru curses himself yet again for not being able to tell her
how he felt about her and why he had acted the way he did. He engulfs
himself in his work in an attempt to stop thinking about what had
happened. He succeeds only in finishing his work early and being
allowed to go home. There, he sits and attempts to figure out how to
tell her what he thinks she should know. Suddenly Luna jumps into his
window and starts telling him that Usagi is in danger and he's the only
one who can save her. He immediately jumps to his feet and transforms
into Tuxedo Kamen. Riding his motorcycle to her aid, her rushed to her
side.
He arrives to find the sailor senshi trying to wake her up, but
with no luck. He walks over to her body and embraces it, whispering
apologies into her unhearing ears. He remembers a book that was read to
him back when he had lived in the orphanage. It was of a fairy tale in
which a beautiful princess had been placed under an evil spell. She
could only be awakened by her true love's kiss. He decides that it was
worth a shot. He leaned down and gently kissed her rapidly cooling
lips. She came to life again and took a deep breath in his arms.
"Mamo-chan?" she whispered, "I'm so cold..."
"It's all right... You'll be okay now Sailor Moon," he comforted. A
vision of his nightmare flashed in his mind and he released her from
the embrace. The youma that had placed her under the spell attacked
again. The senshi easily defeated it with the help of their leader,
Sailor Moon. Tuxedo Kamen walked away from the scene, a wilted rose in
his hand. Sailor MOon chased after him, asking about what he was going
to tell her earlier but he replied that he didn't wish to speak about
it now. Tears streamed down her face as she realized that love was
still in existance between them since the spell wouldn't have been
broken without it.
{Your mother shows up in a nasty dress.}
{It's your turn now to stand where I stand.}
{Everybody lookin' at you.}
{Here, take hold of my hand.}
{Yeah, I can hear them.}
-------------------------------------------------------------
Usagi had met Mamoru, at his request, at Rei's temple. They
were there to talk, according to the message given to her by Rei.
Mamoru had shown up with a red carnation for Usagi, who was looking at
him with caution in her eyes. She didn't want to be hurt again. She
didn't know if her fraile heart could handle another blow. She nearly
melted when she saw him flash a geniune smile at her. She nodded, her
expression not changing. Little did he know how much energy and heart
ache it was taking from her to keep her distance and not show any
emotion. He motioned for her to sit on a bench under a nearby cherry
tree. She obeyed and listened quietly.
"Usagi, I know you don't want to see me, let alone listen to my
excuses for treating you the way that I did, but please let me explain.
I did all of that because I thought I was protecting you," he said,
forcing his voice to be steady. She flashed him a look of curiosity but
waited for him to finish.
"It was because of a nightmare I had. It said to me that you would
die if we got too close Usak- Usagi. I couldn't ignore it, for your
safety," he explained, "I know it's no excuse and I made a mistake by
not talking to you about it. I'm sorry. It's been eating away at me.
Everytime I saw that injured look in your eyes or that icy glare... it
hurt knowing that I did it to myself. I'm so sorry... Please let me
make it up to you." She looked down at the carnation he held out to
her. She sighed and turned her gaze to the footpath in front of her,
trying to decide what to do. She didn't know if she could let herself
fall in love with him again or if she could even trust him. Finally,
she looked him in the eye with understanding flashing in her own.
"Mamoru, I understand that you were protecting me, but it will take a
long while before I can let myself be as open to you as I had been
before. You hurt me and it'll take time before it heals enough for me
to trust you completely," she answered. He nodded and turned his eyes
to the ground. She smiled for the first time in a month and hugged him.
He let out a yelp of surprise before settling himself to cry on her
shoulder in happiness.
{But what if I'm a mermaid}
{In these jeans of yours}
{With her name still on it?}
{Hey, but I don't care,}
{'Cause sometimes,}
{I said, sometimes I hear my voice.}
{I hear my voice,}
{I hear my voice,}
{An' it's been here,}
{Silent all these years.}
{I've been here,}
{Silent all these years.}
{Silent all these...}
{Silent all these years.}
=============
The End
The lyrics are to Tori Amos' song, "Silent All These Years" and I don't
have permission to use them. If you have a chance, listen to the song.
It is really good.
Well peeps, what'd ya think? Please e-mail questions, comments, and
flames to sailor-eclipse@yahoo.com . Many thanks readers!
~*Eclipse*~
5-10-2000