I first met Dr Lionel Hartley when he was a student at Avondale College in the late '70s. I was at once astounded at his vast general knowledge that spilled out into everything he wrote or said. His everyday speech was punctuated with "one-liners" either from his reading or from his imagination. I often shared with faculty colleagues things that he had written, and long after he left the college, I continued to pursue his writings and I used them as a source of inspiration for my own. With the advent of the Internet, some friends of mine have assisted me in my search for his written materials.

I have gathered together just a few of his quotations that I think reproducing here in their entirety so as not to breach copyright.

My thanks to Reg Irwin for putting together this page to include in my Quotations Index. Reg has also compiled a list of sources at bottom of this page and set up this website for me.

My inspiration for this page is from Lionel Hartley's own words: "Wisdom seen and not recorded (writ or deed) is wisdom lost." (Biblical Studies, 2/4/83, p3)

The Quotes:

In all religions, God blesses those who believe in Him in order to reach those who don't. © Lionel Hartley, Moral Responsibility, Stereo Publications, Christchurch, 1966 p17

The only problem with getting on like a house of fire is that someone is likely to get burnt! © Lionel Hartley 21/7/98

God gave us two ears for active listening, two eyes for sharing a tear, two shoulders for comforting, two arms for loving, but only one mouth. © Lionel Hartley 1988

How to Make Love to a Woman: The amazing three step process. 1. Lovingly ask her what she wants 2. Lovingly listen while she answers, and 3. Lovingly do what she asks. © Lionel Hartley, Created Sexual Seminar 1986

A day of... Christian piety doesn't make up for a week of Christian neglect. © Lionel Hartley, Fasting, 1997

Good decision making is made possible by experience which comes through making bad decisions. © Lionel Hartley, Review, 1996

Mature love is the best aphrodisiac. © Lionel Hartley, Thank God For Sex (Seminar), 1976, p33

Family planning is not just about contraception; it is choosing the right person before the wedding day and then being the right person afterwards. © Lionel Hartley, The Nuclear Family By Design, p11

The organ grinder: His first time at a barbecue, The organ grinder watched in awe As his neighbour turned the sizzling roast Upon the spit Above the glowing fire. His arm in rhythmic motion Emulated the grinder's trade Yet the only sound Was a hiss and a crackle From the cast-iron box he 'played'. The organ grinder, puzzled, watched And finally exclaims, "I don't know what you're playing, But... Your monkey's up in flames!" © Lionel Hartley

The Leaven of the Spirit: Lord, You are the bread of life. Make me, Lord, a slice of thee; May life for me be Spirit filled - The leaven swelling up in me. / The silent unseen working Transforming lazy flour Into holy-air filled bubbling life; Risen, baked, and given power! / So life no longer is a loaf Of wasted energy. Lord, may the crumbs I leave behind, Draw other souls to thee. © Lionel Hartley 22/7/97

The Art of Marriage: A good marriage must be CREATED. In the art of marriage, the LITTLE things are the BIG things... It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say "I love you" often. It is beauty of a loving committed bond: emotional, social, spiritual, physical oneness. It is never going to sleep angry. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is the capacity to forgive and to forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is the joy of knowing your God together. It is not merely marrying the right person... it is BEING the right partner. © Lionel Hartley

Here is my politically correct standard home-grown generic off-the-shelf domestic answer: 'Personally, I absolutely definitely feel that maybe it could possibly be the considered opinion that, taking everything into account, and weighing up all the pro's and con's, there is a general consensus that, as far as can be known, there is no conclusive answer to this question, as yet. Tentatively speaking of course, although I would like to stress that this is only my opinion and I'm not claiming this is the be all and end all as it's an interesting question that, at least, should stimulate debate.' © Lionel Hartley, Response Magazine, 1/9/90

The Psalms are an outer expression of the inner speakings of a heart reaching out for the ever listenings of an intimate yet eternal God; the worshipful expression of the needs and wants, the joys and sorrows, and the hopes and desires of the human heart. © Lionel Hartley, The Beatitudes, Philadelphia Publications, Morrisset 1977

The beatitude of gratitude is an attitude. Gratitude consists of more than the commonplace, hence gratitude is no platitude. Gratitude seeks all strata of society and there for is no platitude in servitude. Gratitude is a deliberate act of precision, an exactitude in giving. Gratitude builds relationships to prevent solitude. In summary then, The primary beatitude is an attitude of gratitude that is no platitude in servitude, but an exactitude that prevents solitude. © Lionel Hartley, The Beatitudes, Philadelphia Publications, 1977

A Sponge Knoweth No Discrimination - A fable by Lionel Hartley:- The frog - he had a problem. His pond was far too green. Another's pond was bluer (He heard the birds had seen). But Froggie had an answer: he'd suck up all the green, and so he bought a bath sponge - the biggest ever seen! Well, sponges have no manners. They suck up good and bad. And very soon an empty pond was all that poor frog had. A sponge does no deciding - only you can choose. Expose your mind to evil, and you will surely lose. By choosing what you see and hear; what you eat and do, then you control the input and you won't get sucked in too! © Lionel Hartley 31/3/98

Do we fight or do we grow together? Do we expect the worst or do we trust them to have a go? Do we take a superior air or do we share with them in their efforts? Do we use power and force or do we use respect? Do we use threats, bluff, blackmail or do we allow them to grow with reasonable consequences? Do we remind them of the negative or do accentuate the positive? Do we make them feel sorry for themselves or do we allow them to feel pleased with themselves? Do we catch them out being naughty or do we catch them out being good? Do we throw emotional tantrums or do we refuse to take the bait? Do we deny their feelings or do we accept their feelings? Do we remind them how they have let us down or do we tell them how we like and appreciate them? Do we attack or do we encourage? Do we exaggerate their mistakes or do we help them learn from them? Do we deal with their motives or do we deal with their behaviour? Do we play one against another or do we remain firm and consistent? Do we exhibit cold prickles or do we share warm fuzzies? Do we ridicule their differences or do we respect their differences? Do we stay at arm's length or do we join in their fun? Do we 'tell them who's boss' or do we invite them to contribute to the decision making? Do we always have the last word or do we gain without the pain? © Lionel Hartley, One Hundred Tools For Teachers to Build Self Esteem in Children, Salubrity™Seminars, 1998, p29, 30

Once upon a time Love was feeling poorly; So he went to the Doctor On Monday, bright and early, To see what alchemy would cure the pain, And light up the love in his life again. In order to have a healthy love; A love that's warm and close, The doctor prescribed the giving of love. And if it doesn't work:- Double the dose. © Lionel Hartley 17/4/98

The key to a successful marriage (is) ... honest open communication about functions, fellowship, family, friends, finance, friction, faith and the future. © Lionel Hartley, Lionel's Listening Post™, Australian Singles Magazine 1/92 p3)

The key to fulfilment in marriage consists of always speaking the truth in love, continually demonstrating affection to each other, purposefully fulfilling one another sexually and encouraging - allowing and helping each other grow to each other's full potential as the Creator designed for your marriage. © Lionel Hartley, Lionel's Listening Post™, Australian Singles Magazine 1/92 p3)

The essence of spending time together is making the time. Couples who spend a lot of time alone grow lonely. Couples who spend a lot of time apart grow apart. Couples who spend a lot of time together grow together. Couples who spend a lot of time giving grow great. Couples who spend a lot of quantity time grow in quality. Couples who spend a only a little quality time together become stunted in their growth by the clock. © Lionel Hartley, 1977

Budgeting for a molehill of quality time instead of a mountain of quantity time is actually avoiding real intimacy. By allowing plenty of one-to-one quantity time you will find quality springing up spontaneously. © Lionel Hartley, Created Sexual Seminar 1986

Communicating our needs to our partner is of vital importance when it comes to sexual expression. Women will usually seek the sensual rather than the sexual. As a general rule, women need sensual romance whereas a man needs sexual responsiveness, women need sensual reassurance whereas a man needs sexual release. We all have differing needs and it is unrealistic to expect our partner to be a mind-reader. © Lionel Hartley, Created Sexual Seminar 1986

Online Sources: