TITLE: What If
AUTHOR: Rae
CATEGORY: MSR, S
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Although, I've heard whispers that
they have more fun at my house...
DISTRIBUTION: Feel free to link:
http://www.geocities.com/rachellee7/whatif.txt
SUMMARY: Scully makes a decision
REFERENCE: all things and a "blink and you'll miss it" for
Triangle
FEEDBACK: Please. I beg of you. There is no shame in
begging... ultimatexffan@gmail.com
UMMMM: This is my only un-beta'd work. All mistakes are mine.
What If
Scully sat on the leather sofa and watched the bubbles in
the fish tank pop as they hit the surface of the water. The
blanket he'd used to cover her was scratchy, but warm. She
wasn't sure how long she had sat there, but the TV was
still droning in the bedroom. The only reason she knew
Mulder was still awake was because every now and then
the channel would change.
Finally sure that it was the only course of action - that
every second had led to this very moment - Scully rose and
walked into the bedroom. As soon as she stepped over the
threshold, Mulder clicked off the television.
"I thought you were sleeping." Mulder pulled himself up so
he was half-sitting, leaning back against his headboard.
"I was."
"Did the TV wake you?"
"No. I've been awake for quite some time."
"Do you want me to take you home?" He made to get out of
the bed, but stopped when Scully answered.
"Mulder, I've been thinking. Today was surreal in so many
different ways. I feel as if I've finally opened my eyes."
He patted the bed beside him and she moved further into the
room, stopping a foot from the edge of the bed.
"For a long time after I left Daniel, I was convinced he
was my what-if."
"Your 'what-if'?"
"What-if he hadn't been married when we met? What-if he
had left his wife? What-if he was The One and I let him
get away? Just how different would my life be right now?
And would I be happy in that life?"
"You wouldn't know any other life, Scully. I believe you
would be happy because you would have ended up with
everything you wanted. You're second-guessing past
decisions through the beauty of hindsight. The question
is, are you unhappy because you don't have that life?"
"Actually, Mulder, the point I'm getting at is that Daniel
hasn't been my what-if for quite some time now. There once
was a time when I couldn't go an hour without thinking of
him. I was convinced he was the love of my life and that I
would never be as happy as I was when we were together.
And when I really think about it, I wasn't all that happy."
"Love isn't all it's cracked up to be, Scully?"
"No, it isn't. Not when you have to hide it. Thinking
back, I spent so much time worrying what would happen if
his wife found out. I wouldn't even let myself think about his
daughter. Our relationship was a constant source of
stress. And that's why I left. It was depressing when I
realized my greatest love was ultimately a sham."
"That's always a hard lesson."
"You sound like you're speaking from experience as well."
"I always thought Megan O'Rourke and I would be together
forever. But when she sat next to Timmy Eaton for story
time and then shared her cookie with him at snack time, I
knew it was over. She broke my heart that day."
His remark had the desired effect. Her eyes crinkled up at
the corners and he saw a flash of white when she smiled.
"So, do you have any recent 'what-ifs', Scully, or did you
give up on the whole idea of love after playing the part of
the other woman?"
"I do, actually. It's what I was thinking about while you
were in here watching TV."
Mulder just looked at her, waiting for her to continue.
"What-if, instead of pretending to sleep on your couch, I
came in here instead? What-if you happened to still be
awake and we picked up where we left off in our
conversation? What-if I decided to revisit all the
innuendos you've thrown at me for the last seven years? And
what-if I took off all my clothes, climbed into bed with
you and finally finished what's been the longest platonic,
but most sexually charged relationship I've ever had?"
"I'm your current 'what-if'?"
Scully nodded once and began to methodically remove her
clothing. It wasn't an act of seduction, other than the
fact that she was unclothing herself while the man that
loved her patiently waited. She pulled her sweater over
her head and pulled down the zipper on her skirt. When the
fabric hit the floor, she heard a harsh intake of breath
and smiled when she saw the longing in Mulder's eyes.
She rolled her pantyhose down her legs, then reached up and
unhooked her bra. She shivered and didn't know if it was
from the chill in the air or the look on Mulder's face.
Still in her panties, she climbed into the bed and scooted
over until she was lying beside him.
Mulder reached behind her and rolled her on top of him.
"It looks like there's still something you want to say,
Scully."
She took a moment to absorb all that had happened in the
past forever.
"Mulder, what-if I told you that I love you too?"
an end
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geocities.com/rachellee7)