pg15

My parents drove me to the prom in their 'vette: the Chevette. Jennifer had decided to go with her dear girl friend, who was going into the Navy in two weeks, instead of me. I met here there, and the prom seemed to be less like the clubs I had begun to frequent with my brother, and his friends. I still have the picture of her and I that I got my good friend Scott to take for me. It would be years before I would admit that I went to the prom lonely. Excuse me, I went to the prom alone.

I find that I can see a world that is peaceful, tranquil, and perfect. As I stated earlier, it is as if I had a dream as a child, and never allowed anyone to tell me that the dream was not what I should use to define life. For me, life has not become that dream yet, but I know that it can. Every moment I breathe becomes better and better. It grows. The dream was a vision of how the energy of life works. Through it, I have continued to pursue the connection between emotion and instinct, as I believe that they are two stages of the same spiritual growth process. Instinct is natural feeling of how to do things in a world you do not feel separate from. The first instinct ever to happen is self-awareness: I am here. Or, here I am! Then the mind asks: Where is here? Instinct replies: I don’t know. With out much help, the mind realizes that a decision has to be made, but can’t decide what to do since it does not know what question to ask. While the mind is lost in this confusion, instinct cries out the first thing any one of the seven senses tell him. While the mind does the work of making the ear hear the tummy rumbling, and tells the stomach muscles to tighten, it never makes the connection between these actions. It is the instinct that states the obvious: I am hungry. This sends the mind into gleeful busy-work. Now it has many questions to answer: what is hungry, what to do about it, ect.. This process in a natural one; and my basis on why we do what we do. When you expand instinct into emotion, you begin to get a different feel for how inspiration and dreams are really the simpler way to think and react. With emotion, you have the mind and instinct together, instead of being separated. To me, this is splitting the elements of the atom: emotion is the evidence of the soul. Emotion has become the idea that the world we live in requires a feeling to make a decision. I see emotion as how the mind uses less information, and more instinct, to come to a conclusion that has no definition. With out going into too much detail, at this time, I will simply leave this idea with the definition of “Karma-surfing”.

Karma-surfing: To pursue each moment as a new world, a new self, and a new opportunity by letting go of definition, and using positivity as a divining- rod to success. (ex: I wasn’t sure how things would work out, when I lost my job; but, as I started working on my resume, out of nowhere, this add in the paper led me to this great job! Good thing I didn’t panic. I really karma-surfed that one!)