A few days later, I found myself at her house, after midnight, on a Sunday evening/Monday morning. She quietly stole out of her house, and met me at the community pool. From there, we went to our midnight café’, located in the city. It was a half-hour drive, but always worth it. It was just a diner, but it was the place we always went to late at night, or in the absence of anything better to do, to drink coffee until we were wired on caffeine, and talk away the mystery of what was life. She was in the middle of her parent’s divorce, and the biggest issue was who had custody of the youngest son. Although she was a very strong woman, this was the gentlest spot in her body, her younger brother. We began to make plans that night to see each other quite a bit over the next two weeks, coordinating work schedules and the like. She was working as a hostess at a restaurant. I was very happy to be with her under any circumstances. When the sun threatened to rear its illumination in a couple of hours, we decided it was time to go home. On the way home, she asked me if I knew any secluded spots near where she lived. The lonely man is always finding the most romantic places, those hidden places lovers wold die to find. It is the curse that I know them all, and have to be content with saying: “This wold be really pretty, if I had a love…”
I
knew the perfect place. It was another
neiborhood under development, although it always appeared to me that they lost
their funding a long time ago. There is
only one street and a parking lot located by the creek, hidden by trees and the
over-growth of time. You had to know
where the road to the lot was or you would never know it was there. This is were I found myself, and where I
found her. Somewhere inside of her, she
had found that place where we had been in love for so many years, and decided
to return it to me. With no mixed
emotions, we stood facing each other, and undressed in one quick swoop. She took of my shirt, and slapped my
shoulder, directly on the still healing tat.
We held each other for those ever so precious moments, and began to kiss
with the hidden passion that had been to long denied. We made love on that morning, as the sun began to rise, as if it
was truly meant to be an awakening.
What I felt that morning was more than just what I was feeling. I was feeling her, and she was feeling
me. It was the single emotion that
still escapes definition.
Jennifer had always known that my
dream was to lose my virginity to her.
That was always the trumped up version I gave her. I do not remember if
I ever explained why it had to be her.
In the broad definition, it did not have to be her. I was not going to lose my virginity until I
was with someone I love deeply. Someone
I was truly in-love with. I wanted her
to be the vision of beauty, as pure a soul as lives and breathes. As I continued my pursuit for a true love, I
found that one never presented itself.
How could I possibly expect to find anything that resembled my
relationship with Jennifer. She knew
this as well, and, even though I was not the one for her eternally, she knew
the one moment of my first sexual encounter would be forever. I still believe in my heart, to this day,
that she gave that moment to me as a gift.
A version of soul-speak she had designed for me. It was the closest she could come to
allowing her self to love me, for what ever the reasons may be. Perhaps she wanted that special moment to
begin my love life because I had sought it so, as it was how she truly had
desired to begin hers.
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