What I miss are the emotions, summer was so beautiful, there is nothing beautiful now… rain is beautiful Things were magical then that are not magical now. There was more time for people, for relationships. Summer was full of hope hope & rain beautiful rain green grass no grass here i dreamt of new york city that summer, not in flames but under water, a strange and beautiful city full of hope and promise just like my life then now the city is on fire, it burns & rages & mourns and on the surface no new hope emerges and this is my life now new york city lies in the back of everyone's mind, it is the core center of amerika's depression we are a country deeply disturbed we are a people devoid of hope we have been shattered, we have been broken we are the tar beneath the rubble we are the ashes at ground zero we are no longer in love or in like and when I say we I really mean me, because I don't pretend to speak for all the voices between atlantic and pacific, I know only myself but I also mean the government and the media and everyone else who pretends to speak for all of us, before, they were the ash, but now they are the ash below the ash, the rubble below the ash, the tar below the rubble, and all the office paper in between we are a nation at war with unseen enemies (and by this "we" i mean the government and by "nation" i mean white men) and yet we simply wage war on ourselves, person to person, soul to soul, there is no nation there is only each other and ourselves and pretend we live in a world of make-believe which I refuse to accept or adore any more than the sounds of a television upstairs, playing in a sterile apartment identical to my own what ever happened to the love? to the hope? to all the beautiful music? when again will I watch a rainy sunrise or kiss the stars goodnight? the earth is cold tonight and the stars are uninviting sometimes it's hard to find the pot of gold or the hope beneath the snow it gets hidden in blankets and troves of unhealthy patriotism I see the world in the coldest shades of white, blue, and red, and it sickens me to see my sisters and brothers behave so foolishly i can hardly stand to open my eyes the light is cruel, the snow reflection is blinding i am in winter now, the summer has gone by