By: CyberMum

With apologies to Paramount, Dr. Seuss and of course… Sam I am.

"Captain - I am
Captain - I am
I bit perturbed, Captain I am.

I recently did discern
A sudden spiritual downturn.
I am concerned, Captain I am.

I worry that your attitude
Shows signs that you have come unglued.
I worry that you've come apart
We need to have a heart to heart.

I've rushed into your room head-long
To find out what on earth is wrong.

I am concerned, Captain I am
Are you in any sort of jam?
Is there a problem? Can I help?"
His voice scales up into a yelp.
"You can't just hide yourself away.
You must come out." says Chakotay.

She glares at him as if in pain
And then she starts in to explain:

"I'm not unglued
I'm not being rude
I'm in no jam
It's just…goddam -

I do not like this endless night
I do not like our endless flight
I do not wish to see the crew
I want to sit alone and stew."

"Would you, could you
Please come out?
We need you here."
He begs, flat out.

"I want to wallow in my guilt
I want to play it to the hilt.
I want to tell you Chakotay
In my quarters I plan to stay."

Chakotay is totally floored
His Captain is extremely…bored.
He needs some new activity
To counter this passivity.
His goal is very definite
He must extract her from this snit.
He has to stop his captain's pout
He has to get her to come out.

"Captain. Kathryn.
Kathryn. Captain.
Would you, could you
Let me in?"

"Just go away. Why can't you see
I'm all alone. Now let me be."

"Well Captain" replies Chakotay
"I will not leave, I'm here to stay.
I'm sitting down, I will not move
I don't care if you disapprove.
You can wallow if you like
You can even hunger strike.
I know there will be hell to pay
But I refuse to go away."

"What?
In the dark?
Here in the dark?
You would sit here in the dark?"

"I can, I will sit in the dark."

"Would you really sit all night?"

"I will stay here all through the night
I will stay here and you can't fight
The fact that this entire crew
Will not allow their captain to
Sit and wallow in her guilt
Or play it right up to the hilt.
Or pout or throw a hissy fit
So Kathryn, just get over it.

You condemn yourself for our plight
You want to end this long space flight
You hate the fact that we must roam
For many light years to get home…"

Suddenly a comm badge beeps:

The lights go dim, Chakotay leaps
Onto his feet and also sweeps
His Captain out of her front door.
He knows he'll have to answer for
That action but he's sure he'll see
Improvement to a great degree
If he can get her re-involved
And her many doubts resolved.
Once she resumes her captain's chair
He's very sure that her despair
Will vanish amid the action
For what she needs is distraction.

"This will not work, it is a sham
Chakotay, can't you see I am
In a sorry state." "Well try!
Try. Indeed you must comply."

"Fine!
If you will let me be,
I'll do it. You've
Persuaded me."

"So!
What is this emergency
That prompted you to kidnap me?"

She turns to face the ship's view screen
And quickly her adrenaline
Kicks briskly into overdrive
The captain has now come alive.
An alien tries to make a threat
A statement he will soon regret.

Yes - Action Janeway's back on track
Protecting her ship from attack.
Drafting plans and barking orders
Disregarding alien borders.
Her humour totally restored
The captain is no longer bored.

The antidote a mere trifle:
A compression phaser rifle.