eternumpace: did we have to finish talking about something? i can't remember

0_sugar_0: lol, no dont think so...I always jump into chat in an empty room cause I hubby changes the avs and never know if Im gonna have my av up

0_sugar_0: you still in pagan chat?

eternumpace: yes. trying to be anyway

eternumpace: yes

0_sugar_0: anything much happening in there?

eternumpace: gawd, no. i miss your conversation

0_sugar_0: I thought about checking out CC to see if there is a good conversation going on

eternumpace: i was just there

0_sugar_0: wanna head over to CC with me?

eternumpace: i dunno. you can go see if you like. maybe if we go to WR some others will come

0_sugar_0: hehe, I doubt it, I've sat in there for an hour before....no one shows.

0_sugar_0: the few that do, aren't anyone I recognize

eternumpace: gosh darnit. what is happening to the world today

0_sugar_0: lol

0_sugar_0: you sound like an episode of the Andy Griffith show...gosh darn it? chuckle

eternumpace: no one is signing up in droves for the time sucking, self esteem robbing rite of passag of our generation known as chat

0_sugar_0: lol

eternumpace: gosh, aunt B dya really think???

0_sugar_0: hells bells, chat is the only chance I get to talk to other folks that can use words with more than one syllable!

eternumpace: LOL

0_sugar_0: this town makes me look like a rocket scientist!

eternumpace: hells bells mmm

0_sugar_0: hehe, an old AC/DC song hubby likes, as well as being a saying here

eternumpace: no. i've heard it. i just thought you were trying to poke fun at yourself by exclaim your lack of poly-syllabic words with single syllabic words of utter exasperation

eternumpace: e.g. hells bells

eternumpace: haha

0_sugar_0: LOL

0_sugar_0: hehe, I coulda said, hellacious bells

0_sugar_0: ?

eternumpace: when you tell people that the F word is a monsyllabic anglo saxon idiom, they don't think so harshly of it

eternumpace: yes :-) or goodness gracious great balls of fire!

0_sugar_0: hehehe

0_sugar_0: (hands you a fire extinguisher...or perhaps some jock itch cream for those burning balls)

eternumpace: are you flirting with me again?

0_sugar_0: lol

eternumpace: what's so funny?

eternumpace: hey, redeemed is in pagan chat. this shoul be short lived

0_sugar_0: oh man...have to give him credit for being consistant...and no, not making fun of you :o)

eternumpace: well it seemed to me for a moment there that the thought of flirting with me was cause for some humour even a laugh at my expense and yes, redeemed is a tenacious ol gent

0_sugar_0: hehe, just told someone that the phrase "god fearing athiest" is an oxymoron...I think he thinks I insulted him...LOL

0_sugar_0: nah, I laugh with people not at them

eternumpace: well, technically and antrhoplogically, it is widely agreed that God is a mark of mystery or the Unknown, so that would be very sensical statement

eternumpace: i like it. i might use it

0_sugar_0: hhhmmm....

0_sugar_0: lol

0_sugar_0: made me think about that one fer a minute

eternumpace: either that, or my itchy scrotal tissue is fair game. which is it, corn fed white bread?

0_sugar_0: hehehe

eternumpace: lol

0_sugar_0: nah, that was a play on words...chuckle

0_sugar_0: balls of fire...reminded me of jock itch...wonder what fruede would say about that association?

0_sugar_0: chuckle

eternumpace: it was a very good play on words

eternumpace: mmmm. good question

0_sugar_0: lol

0_sugar_0: got ya thinking now...lol

eternumpace: perhaps "it is zee temperture of zee balls zat conzerns meeee. tell me about your muddah"

eternumpace: lol

0_sugar_0: hehehe

eternumpace: i found a knife by the side of the road yesteray and last night i dreamed that i cut my finger right off with a butter knife

0_sugar_0: ? that is odd, wonder what that means, its significance?

eternumpace: btw, are all your litluns havin fun at play?

eternumpace: i think it means i shouldn't play with knives. i gave it to my dad :-)

0_sugar_0: lol

0_sugar_0: use plastic cutlery

eternumpace: redeemed is still in pagan chat. give the man a medal

eternumpace: yes

eternumpace: plastic table ware causes much fewer injuries

eternumpace: so you weren't flirting with me?

0_sugar_0: hehe, red is persistant, I give him an A for effort

0_sugar_0: aw, if I do flirt, its harmless :o)

eternumpace: he doesn't seem to be talking

eternumpace: hurt me. hurt me

eternumpace: i wish a nice girl could break my heart for once

eternumpace: i fell in love with the anti christ once

0_sugar_0: he does that these days....he'll stir up the room, then fall silent a lot of times

0_sugar_0: (hands you a box of bandaids) lol

eternumpace: she taught me the song "let's play a game. let's play a game called go insane"

0_sugar_0: wow, sounds rough!

eternumpace: it was

eternumpace: now, looking back. i think i was just really really depressed

eternumpace: but i wrote some wicked poetry

0_sugar_0: I hated being single and dating...met some nice people, but most times they were twisted up in a big way, looking for a partner to 'make it all better' for em

eternumpace: such as one might see on my web site. wink wink nudge nudge

eternumpace: ugh. that sounds like me, sugar

0_sugar_0: you had some intense poetry on that page

eternumpace: intense. i like the sound of that

0_sugar_0: yeah, my 'jerk radar' was in full swing in my dating days...if their was an emotionally crippled man, or an idiot with in a 50 mile radius, I picked up on em.

eternumpace: would you leave your husband and kids and marry an out of work schizophrenic who lives with his parents?

0_sugar_0: lol, aw hun! huggles!

0_sugar_0: too bad I dont have a sister I could set you up with

eternumpace: hey, do you know Triese?

0_sugar_0: the one sister I do have, is the dragon lady from hell!

0_sugar_0: triese...sounds familiar

eternumpace: yeah. right like you would honestly set her up with me

eternumpace: she the fairy girl

0_sugar_0: if she were a decent human being I would...but she's not!

0_sugar_0: triese...I know ive seen here in chat before

eternumpace: dragon lady from hell. sounds like the womyn i fell enamoured with

eternumpace: i called her the other day. she is really nice.

0_sugar_0: lol, was she blonde, blue eyed and a money hungry bitch? if so, that was my sis you dated!

0_sugar_0: no shit? cool beans hun!

eternumpace: we talked for about 3 hours last nite

0_sugar_0: wow, sounds like you two hit it off :o)

eternumpace: she is very accomadating. i'll say that

eternumpace: i really offended her once in WR

eternumpace: you know how i can be

eternumpace: when i get going

0_sugar_0: accomodating? oh, you mean she doesn't hold a grudge!

0_sugar_0: that kind of accomodating?

eternumpace: yeah

0_sugar_0: she sounds like a good lady hun, one that is stable and steady, knows how to forgive and forget

eternumpace: there's is something about "i'm on meds now" that just smooths things right over with some people lol

0_sugar_0: lol

0_sugar_0: hey, its honest...and most people understand that a chemical imbalance in the brain is something you cannot control

0_sugar_0: all you can do is treat it with meds

eternumpace: yeah. i'm just starting to learn that

0_sugar_0: :o)

eternumpace: well, i 'm in cognitive therapy as well

eternumpace: which works

eternumpace: re training thinking patterns

0_sugar_0: I went thru a major depression once myself, due to a side effect of medication, so I been in your shoes before

eternumpace: confronting social fears and anxieties

eternumpace: yeah. depression really sucks

0_sugar_0: cool! yeah, everything other than instinct, is learned behaviors and thought patterns

0_sugar_0: so what is learned, can be unlearned and different thought patterns/habits put in place

eternumpace: yeah. and taking these meds gives me a crutch that i need to wash out my subconscioius or autonomic thought responses

eternumpace: will take some years i think though

eternumpace: to straigtenme right out

0_sugar_0: a crutch is used to help you walk, until you heal enough to walk on your own :o)

eternumpace: that's about it

0_sugar_0: give yourself some credit hun, you are doing the work...not a lot of people have the courage to make those kind of life changes

eternumpace: not many people have to. strike that. many people have to i suppose cause these changes only happen when they absolutely have to

eternumpace: i guess

0_sugar_0: think of it as an adventure...you are on a journey to know yourself in ways you never knew before

eternumpace: just call me a karma chameleon

0_sugar_0: yeah, sometimes it takes a traumatic event to 'wake us up'

eternumpace: yes. that is a good way of looking at it

0_sugar_0: lol, okay boy george!

eternumpace: yeah. would you believe i dressed up as him(or her) when i was like 15?

eternumpace: for Halloween of course lol

0_sugar_0: after my depression, I looked back on it as a 'spirit walk', or as they say in Australia...going 'walk about'

0_sugar_0: you did? lol, no shit? did you do the hair and the whole thing?

eternumpace: oh yeah. walk about

eternumpace: yeah. i used tape from a tape casset for the hair and wore a polyester multi coloured sorta thing and a dress hat

0_sugar_0: well, my depression involved sleep deprivation, not eating...same thing that native americans do on their spiritual quests, same for aborigines.

0_sugar_0: hehe, I bet you looked great! I went as a nun for halloween one year

eternumpace: a nun. that reminds me, ever seen Agnes of God?

eternumpace: the film?

0_sugar_0: yeah, a long time ago

eternumpace: depression. they should call it abyss

0_sugar_0: good way to put it!

eternumpace: i just watched it last night on video.

0_sugar_0: hell in your head was my term

eternumpace: definitely

0_sugar_0: was that the first time you seen that movie?

eternumpace: yah. my dad told me to rent it

eternumpace: i liked it

0_sugar_0: ever seen Stigmata?

eternumpace: i could really relate to it

eternumpace: yes to Stigmata

eternumpace: in a way, all saints are mad i suppose

0_sugar_0: I'll have to see if I can rent agnes of god again...been about 10 years ago that I saw it

eternumpace: that is one way to look at it

eternumpace: it has Jane Fonda in it and Anne Bankroft

0_sugar_0: I've heard that many of the so called 'saints' would be considered mentally unstable today

eternumpace: ya

0_sugar_0: yeah, jane fonda was the reporter

0_sugar_0: anne b the mother superior

eternumpace: ha. that's what my dad thought. turns out she is actually a court appointed psychieatrist

eternumpace: yeah

0_sugar_0: ah...lol, has been a long time since I seen it!

0_sugar_0: you might like the movie "girl interrupted"

0_sugar_0: just saw that the other day

eternumpace: easy mistake. she spends the whole movie prying around and asking questions

eternumpace: yes. have seen girl interrupted. good one.

0_sugar_0: hehe, yeah, she is snoopy isnt she?

0_sugar_0: I liked "Nuts" with barbra striesand too

0_sugar_0: she wasn't nuts at all

eternumpace: agnes of god made me think about the notion of being a child to enter the kingdom of heaven

eternumpace: Nuts saw it but forget most of it. might have to rent that one again

eternumpace: some people interpret that as the "faith of a child" others as a child

0_sugar_0: yeah...I figure that to be 'like a child'...means to see everything with awe and wonder...to love, just because I can

eternumpace: yes. you got it. that book i mentioned yesterday "The Divine Romance"...

0_sugar_0: children have great faith in what they dont know or see

eternumpace: the Master Yogi says just that, to see the world with continuous wonder is joy and lvoe and all that

eternumpace: a dream within a dream

0_sugar_0: I think that when christ said the kingdom of heaven is at hand...he meant right here, right now, inside of us. Not after we die

eternumpace: or "all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream"

0_sugar_0: I like Master Yogi's way of putting it

eternumpace: yes. me too. that is becoming the most sensible interpretation

0_sugar_0: (shrugs) I seem to understand the bible so much better after I left religion and doctorine out of it

eternumpace: to jsut relax and LEt Go

0_sugar_0: acceptance

0_sugar_0: yup

eternumpace: its hard

0_sugar_0: like the serenity prayer

eternumpace: does take faith

0_sugar_0: yeah, it is hard sometimes!

eternumpace: i don't like affirmations so much anymore

eternumpace: so loaded sometimes

0_sugar_0: lol

0_sugar_0: sometimes affirmations seem trite when you are going thru a lot of stuff

eternumpace: believe me i am a person who knows how powerful a role words play in shaping our worlds

0_sugar_0: yeah, they do

eternumpace: yes. one has to be in the right frame of mind for it

0_sugar_0: words are just ideas in a form we can see, or hear

eternumpace: that's why one should use ones own words. like how you have come to understand christ's teachings. that is what i call the Puritan way

0_sugar_0: thoughts are energy, energy has the power to change and transform...we are what we think

0_sugar_0: good title for it

0_sugar_0: I call it 'going with the flow' lol

0_sugar_0: have you ever read the 13 goals of being a witch?

eternumpace: I borrow the word from John Milton, who advocated in his time (the 18th century) individual interpretation of the bible and was expelled for his philosophy

eternumpace: no to 13 goals

0_sugar_0: Move over John Milton, save a seat for me!

0_sugar_0: the first goal of being a witch...is to know yourself

0_sugar_0: the first and most important one

eternumpace: John Milton is also the man who said he doesn't read any book who couldn't have written

eternumpace: "he" couldn't have written, back to that vibratory truth field of the sould again

eternumpace: "know Thyself, Oedipus" sophocles

eternumpace: yeah. thats a good one

0_sugar_0: the second goal is to be aware of all of your thoughts...know yourself, know your thoughts...because everything you know, do, say, or feel comes from knowing and being in touch with those two things

eternumpace: here is a line for you i was reading today from a poem by the romantic poety, Percy Shelley

0_sugar_0: to thine own self be true...how can you be true to yourself, if you have no idea who the hell you are? made a lot of sense to me

eternumpace: another good one

eternumpace: makes a lot of sense

0_sugar_0: percy shelley? for some reason I was thinking mary shelley...lol

0_sugar_0: hehe, dont think percy and mary would jive well together...frankenstien and romantic poetry

eternumpace: "Thus let thy power, which like the truth / Of nature on my passive youth / Descended, to my onward life supply / Its calm, - to one who worshops thee, / And every form containing thee, Whom, Spirit fair, thy spells did bind / To fear himself, and love all humankind" Hymn To Intellectual Beauty 1816

eternumpace: Mary Shelley was his wife lol

0_sugar_0: lol

0_sugar_0: wow, a lot said in just a few lines of poetry

eternumpace: get the brains egor, get the bolts, egor, straighten that back, egor

eternumpace: Shelley was a Master, imo

0_sugar_0: lol

0_sugar_0: yeah, she wrote a love story in horror form

eternumpace: however, easter yogis think little of western romantic poetry from what i hear

eternumpace: yes!

eternumpace: that was the implication of the great film "Gods and Monsters"

eternumpace: see that flick on video today. i commandyou

0_sugar_0: there is a sufi poet I think...cant recall his name now. he wrote poetry during the 13th century

0_sugar_0: gods and monsters? never heard of it

0_sugar_0: have you seen Chocolate?

eternumpace: it confronts, as you say, are notion of self and cyborg or subject object, the first being our Mother and that archteype supplying "its calm - to one who worshops thee" in our christ body or daemon, our frankenstein ! lol

0_sugar_0: lol

eternumpace: yeahh to chocolat. i luv jonny depp

eternumpace: jonny deep

0_sugar_0: I always felt sorry for the monster...he wanted so badly to be human, to be loved, to be accepted

0_sugar_0: yeah, chocolate was another story about 'outsiders'

eternumpace: another film along aht line by ridley scott is BladeRunner with Harrison Ford

0_sugar_0: hehe, I saw blade runner at the theater when it first came out

0_sugar_0: its an underground classic with the college crowds now

0_sugar_0: same for "Legend"

eternumpace: culture has sooo much to offer the hero's spiritual adventure, the never ending story, does it not?

0_sugar_0: yup!

0_sugar_0: thats cause culture is alive and always changing

eternumpace: i saw bladerunner in a college film class. the prof gave me a private screening of the directors cut on laser disk

0_sugar_0: there is another movie I loved when I saw it...The Never Ending Story

eternumpace: yeah :-) love that 1

0_sugar_0: havent seen the directors cut!

0_sugar_0: all those movies are basically about love, respect, and finding your own inner self

eternumpace: in the directors cut the ending is a bit different and there is less voice over in the beginning, a very subtle yet profound change to the whole feel fo the film

eternumpace: the greater silence in the beginning lets you take in and "read" the fantasy background and archescape with more depth and familiarity

0_sugar_0: LOL! damn! someone just put a huge picture into the chat room that is a nude woman...the whole room is stunned.

eternumpace: what i also call temporal anteriority

eternumpace: which room?

0_sugar_0: Im gonna have to rent the directors cut, I thought the ending should have been better

0_sugar_0: CC

0_sugar_0: christian chat

0_sugar_0: its a muff shot in very bad taste that someone inserted into the chat area

eternumpace: temporal anteriorty being manipulationg of faux belief in time's linearity in memory and architecture

eternumpace: i love the way "muff shot" rolls off your tongue

0_sugar_0: huh? wow, I need a dictionary for that last sentence!

0_sugar_0: chuckle

0_sugar_0: well, not sure what to call it...crotch shot sounds worse...lol

eternumpace: culture freezes us in a certain belief in the machine, the history and comon sentiment of the day that thereby shapes are sense of the eternal or marga (the beast within that leads the heart of all it means to be human). temporal anteriority manipulation is psychedlia, what you do when you fall in love for instance, or read a cheap novel

eternumpace: to enter into the mythic wedding chamber of form and idea of the mind of God

eternumpace: of Myth

0_sugar_0: always thought that was a case of hormones causing my heart to flutter and my endorphins to kick in

eternumpace: love is eternal is it not?

0_sugar_0: I believe its eternal

eternumpace: anyway back to the much more pressing matter of this poor lady's muff

0_sugar_0: I think we all try to find god within ourselves

eternumpace: absolutely

0_sugar_0: lol

eternumpace: i would love some ear muffs

eternumpace: i have no idea what that means

0_sugar_0: its already off the screen, enough people screamed "egads!" that it scrolled upwards really fast...lol

0_sugar_0: some dude inserted it directly into the chat screen

0_sugar_0: not up on the av part of the screen

0_sugar_0: so everytime someone yelled about how gross it was...it moved upwards and out of sight

eternumpace: hmmmm. these kindof guys should go work for nasa instead of deviating the chat status quo

0_sugar_0: lmao!

0_sugar_0: dang...Im gonna have to go hun, time to tuck the munchkin into bed and wake up a grumpy sleep deprived hubby

eternumpace: it might help you to use, instead the phrase "spacial" anteriority, which would then translate as the drama your life is not only for you but for all in which you inhabit, which, according to existentialism (or mondern pantheism) is God in itself, Enigma

0_sugar_0: works for me...the great mystery

eternumpace: the operative element or soul body of the multi verse

0_sugar_0: enigam

0_sugar_0: enigma

0_sugar_0: geeze, cant type

eternumpace: to me, that explains the magic of cinema

0_sugar_0: I gotta run hun, time to tuck in the munchkin for bed.

eternumpace: ok doky. thanks for another great chat, sugar

eternumpace: next time you'll have to tell ME a story b4 i go to bed

0_sugar_0: wont be long before she will be too old for me to do that

0_sugar_0: :o)

0_sugar_0: see ya!

Excite Private Messenger: 0_sugar_0 has logged out. (4/3/2002 at 6:48 PM)

eternumpace: hey, how things in your neck of the Woods?

velvt.: bedspread training coming along nicely

velvt.: snowed again today, second time this week

eternumpace: the last time i checked that web cam your town looked snow free

eternumpace: is mother nature senile in your neck of the friendly forest?

velvt.: well, in town it may have mostly melted off

velvt.: it is melting alot out here too, and the new snow hasn't accumulated, just whitened things up

velvt.: but still, it's APRIL !

eternumpace: april fools

eternumpace: april fools paradise

velvt.: yep

eternumpace: how you been feeling? you sound positively cheerful

velvt.: oh well... we needed the moisture

velvt.: i feel like hell... thus the bedspread bit

eternumpace: sugar told me some one put a big crotch shot in the CC background hehe

eternumpace: so you are making like a besspread and laying down

eternumpace: i see said the blind man

eternumpace: do you have yoru computer near your bed, then?

velvt.: cool!

velvt.: but the background? wonder how

velvt.: i can't sit up much lately at all

velvt.: reading a book, lying down, i broke out into a sweat because holding the book was too much of a strain.. now that's pathetic!

velvt.: yes, but i have to sit up to use it, so haven't been on much or long

eternumpace: get books on tape. problemo solved :-)

velvt.: i wish i had good access to them

eternumpace: get a trashy harlequin or Jude Deveraux about men that visit terribly tired women in their bedrooms

velvt.: lol

velvt.: haven't i told you my latest escapades?

eternumpace: nooooo. dooo tell sweet one

eternumpace: btw, sugar showed me an av of herself. she looks like john lenon's white yoko

velvt.: i advertised on an online matchmaking thing

velvt.: wow... lots of responses

eternumpace: really. good on you

velvt.: and i was totally truthful, too... age, health, overweight, etc

eternumpace: great personality wins out again

eternumpace: thats about all i got going for me also

velvt.: i got together with one already, and another is coming on sunday

velvt.: i finally got laid !

eternumpace: get the hell out of here. like to yoru home?

eternumpace: you lie to me sweet one lol

velvt.: guy number one will be coming back, too

eternumpace: gotta love it

velvt.: i lie? no way!

eternumpace: did you lure them with the promise of spiritual revelation

eternumpace: oh God! oh God! oh God! oh Goood!

eternumpace: but seriously. good for you. you take a bit of chance doing that

velvt.: yep, guy number one did me up royal for four hours... i thought i'd died and gone to heaven

velvt.: i met number two last saturday, just to visit

velvt.: nope... just sex and laughs

eternumpace: wow. 4 hours.

eternumpace: what an athlete

velvt.: he was.... i was just lying back blindfolded LOL

eternumpace: if you don't mind me asking, how many times did he come in all that time?

velvt.: once

velvt.: at the end

eternumpace: man. sounds like a porn star lol

velvt.: best oral i've ever had, bar none

velvt.: and other play, too, of course

eternumpace: i'm happy for you and dumbfounded. i knew you had it in you but i would never thought a guy could have all that in im

eternumpace: :-)

eternumpace: i could learn a few things from Mr. Conan the Barbarian

velvt.: me either... amazed me

velvt.: and he's open to explore, too.... we're going to try some bondage

eternumpace: wow

eternumpace: i feel as though i had never really gone to Disney land now

velvt.: me too... so clearly it's never too late

velvt.: did i ever share my oldest fantasy with you? me, a lover, a secluded swimming hole at the base of a small waterfall?

eternumpace: C - O - P ... U - L - A.....T - I - 0...and N Mickey Mouse!

velvt.: ROTFLOL

eternumpace: ReeeRaaa!

eternumpace: no. you never told me about that

eternumpace: hey did you say "fantasy with" me?

velvt.: well, that was the nutshell version... and a third guy i've been corresponding with knows of a place nearby that would fit the scene

eternumpace: hehehe

velvt.: lol

eternumpace: God has certainly blessed you. Did you ask Her what the big hold up was?

velvt.: no, i'm not issuing anything that could be contrued as a complaint or a challenge

eternumpace: that's a good idea lol

eternumpace: i'm very sorry i should go. i've been on here at the college for several hours now and i have to walk home an hour away. but you can bet i will be thinking of your good fortune with a sly grin on my face

velvt.: cool

velvt.: enjoy the evening

eternumpace: i will. you to. and be well,velvt. btw. i go some stuff from the temple of eck and i read through it and liked it a lot

eternumpace: we will have to chat about it some other time, next

velvt.: ok

velvt.: the ancient wisdom book?

eternumpace: yes

velvt.: :)

eternumpace: well, i wish we could chat now, but i'm fading and my da will be wonderin where i am. i hope to talk again soon. bye!

velvt.: bye bye