Ethan stepped into the medium-sized loft apartment and hung his navy pea coat along with his snazzy new scarf on the hook to the side of the door. Early afternoon sun filtered through the second-hand mini-blinds to create an appearance of false cheeriness within the confines of the brick walls. Ethan, however, was unperturbed by the heavy masonry and continued merrily on his way to his bedroom. He unceremoniously dumped his book bag on the bed and headed into the bathroom. He had just made a 6-hour drive from his parents’ house back to his own residence and wanted nothing more than a hot shower and a clean mouth (he’d had some of his mom’s homemade strawberry preserves stuck in his teeth the entire drive).

Ethan hopped into the shower and stayed in there until he was quite certain his fingers would remain pruney for at least a few days. With towel tucked firmly around his waist, he stretched his twenty-something year old body and proceeded to reach for the toothpaste. But to his horror, he found that the cap was missing!

Now, Ethan was one of those anal retentive sort of blokes who needed things neat and proper in order to maintain his existence. To him, leaving the cap off the toothpaste so that it got all crusty and dry was just blasphemy. He would burn the heretic! But first, he had to get to the bottom of this and find out who actually did it.

His initial instinct was to blame his girlfriend, Jessica. Jess wasn’t nearly as bad as his roommates when it came to personal hygiene, but she was certainly known to leave the milk on the counter for ungodly lengths of time. Plus, she was a repeat offender. Ethan decided it was imperative he question her when she came over for dinner that evening.

Ethan proceeded to mope about for the majority of the afternoon as he unpacked and cooked dinner. He couldn’t believe Jess would be so callous as to break one of his sacred rules, but then, who else could have done it? He pondered over who would have had access to his room as he diligently stirred the curry. His musings were interrupted by a curly-haired strawberry blonde whirlwind that tumbled into his apartment.

Jess’s cherubic face was framed by the cream faux fur collar of her coat, and her eyes sparkled from the glitter that was liberally spread around them. She practically bounced over to Ethan and glomped onto the arm that held the stirring spoon.

“Hi!” she squealed happily. “How was your trip? Are your parents doing well? Did you bring me any prezzies?” she said the last with a mischievous glint in her eyes. She was always on the lookout for presents.

Ethan switched the burner off and turned around to pick Jess up in a bone crushing hug. “Hi, sweetie,” he kissed her warmly on the lips. “The trip was just fine and so are my parents. How was your weekend?”

Jess hid her face in Ethan’s neck and hugged him tighter. “Oh, it was just peachy. I hung around in my pajamas all day and got caught up on my reading. Mmm,” she sniffed the large pot behind her boyfriend, “Curry, huh? That smells really good.”

“Well, it’s ready. So let’s have some.”

They sat down and began devouring the spicy dish immediately. Ethan had made it vegetarian especially for Jess. About halfway through dinner he could stand it no longer and had to bring up the dreaded question.

“Jess, did you leave the cap off my toothpaste last time you were here?”

Jessica looked baffled for a moment, then quickly regained her composure and said, “Um, no, hun. I don’t believe so. I know how particular you are about things like that.” To her credit, she got through this with minimal eye rolling.

“Hmm. Well, this is weird. Who else would have used my toothpaste?” Ethan shoved a spoonful of curry into this mouth.

It was at that precise moment that Jess had the misfortune of swallowing her water down the wrong pipe and a coughing fit ensued. The interrogation ended and the conversation veered toward more trivial things.

Later that evening, after Jess had gone back to her dorm, Ethan managed to round up all but one of his roommates. Chris and Jarrod sat uncomfortably on the couch in the living room, wondering what idiotic tangent Ethan was about to start this time. Jarrod’s eyes began to glaze over as he watched Ethan pace in front of the TV. He was about to give up and make a run to Dunkin’ Donuts when Ethan pivoted and stared directly at him.

“Did you use my bathroom this weekend?” he snapped.

Jarrod somehow managed to defy the laws of physics and jump into his seat. “No, maaan. I’ve been in Columbus all weekend… getting a double dose of Mary Jane, if you know what I mean,” he began giggling stupidly at the horrible pun.

Ethan sighed in annoyance. Obviously Jarrod had been at his girlfriend Mary’s house this weekend doing things that weren’t quite legal. Well, that ruled him out. Besides, whenever Jarrod was high he suddenly became an OCD neat freak. And given the bloodshot eyes, it was safe to assume that the young man was in such a state.

“I see,” Ethan stated succinctly and turned his attentions on Chris. “What about you?”

The mocha-skinned man looked increasingly uncomfortable. “Well, I, uh… You see, not really. Um, it wasn’t me! I definitely didn’t use your bathroom.” He tried to smile charmingly, but it came out more like a grimace.

Ethan frowned. It was obvious that Chris was hiding something. Ethan narrowed his eyes and put on his ‘resolve face.’ “Dude, just level with me. What happened?”

Chris shifted uncomfortably on the couch. It was as if his skin was suddenly too tight. “Oh… well, you see there was this really hot chick. And, um well you know how shitty the water pressure is in the other shower. I was just trying to impress her! But, dude, I never touched your toothpaste! I swear it.”

Ethan relaxed his tense posture, as did Chris. Suddenly, Chris sat up straighter with the look of a man who’s just had an epiphany. “Hey, but I remember Sirius puttering around in there after you left. He might know something.”

Sirius had been out somewhere when Ethan had initially left for the weekend. However, Ethan now knew that Sirius had returned home sometime afterwards only to leave again. Neither Chris nor Jarrod had seen the pale, Goth boy since Saturday evening. No one was sure where Sirius had gone seeing as how he wasn’t in a steady relationship at the moment and didn’t really advertise who his friends were. Ethan resolved himself to a night of uncertainty until Sirius showed up for classes tomorrow.

The night went rather poorly seeing as how Ethan was too busy worrying to really get any decent sleep. Something just didn’t sit right about this whole matter. Ethan couldn’t put his finger on it just yet, but he was sure Sirius was the key. If only that stupid kid would get his butt home already!

A slamming door woke Ethan out of the light sleep he had finally gone into. It took him only a moment to get his bearings before rushing out to greet an even sleepier Sirius.

“Hey, Ethan,” Sirius gave his friend a confused smile. “What are you doing up so early?”

“Sirius, where have you been?” Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but Ethan cut him off, “Nevermind! Just tell me if you left the cap off the toothpaste.”

“No,” he replied, totally puzzled. “Besides, you were in there after me.”

Ethan blinked. “I was?”

“Sure,” Sirius shrugged casually, “After you and Jess got done ‘waking up the neighbors,’ I heard you brushing your teeth in the bathroom. The last time I had used it was the night before.”

“Oh.” Ethan stared dejectedly at the floor, and then the far wall. Nothing made sense! Everyone had their alibis or assurances. And yet, there was just something not falling into place. “When did you say you were last in my bathroom?” Ethan queried, trying to pull his thoughts together.

“Like I said, Friday night. The day before you left,” Sirius replied guilelessly.

Ethan practically jumped. “Wait. What? Friday night? I left Friday afternoon.”

“That’s impossible. You and Jess were using the bedroom and the bathroom Saturday morning.”

Ethan shook his head in the negative. It looked like he had been correct. There was something ‘not right’ with this whole scenario. He thanked Sirius before grabbing his coat and keys and running out the door. His destination: Jess’s dorm room.

It was a matter of minutes to cross the small city from his apartment to the campus, and he took the stairs in the dorm two at a time. He was breathing a bit heavily as he knocked on the door for room 451.

A sleepy looking Jess appeared in the now open doorway. A pajama shirt with pink bunnies and a pair of men’s boxers adorned her this morning. “Ethan? What are you doing here? I don’t have class for another four hours.”

“I want to know,” he pleaded, a hard note creeping into his voice. “Who? Just tell me who. I know you were with someone Saturday morning and he left the cap off the god damned toothpaste. Who was it?!” he yelled with impotent rage.

Jessica, startled, took a step back into the room. She shook her head back and forth wildly, her mouth agape but the words would not dare to be formed.

“Hey, babe. Who’s at the door? Make ‘em go away,” a sleepy male voice called out from inside the dorm room.

Ethan peered past Jessica to view the young man sleeping in her bed. His criminal had been caught.