Here's a subject that is often in the minds of many Pagan parents. Dealing with the issue of raising the child in the Pagan faith is very controversial, to say the least. Each tradition teaches different methods of raising children in the Pagan faith. Below is a summary of many different views.
Children in Paganism is an issue that raises many different points of view depending on who you are speaking to. The different issue points can be placed in the following 4 catagories.
1 THE CHILDS RELATIONSHIP TO THE PAGAN PARENTS
Most Pagans still find it necessary to stay "in the closet" and keep a low profile regarding their religion. Keeping in mind that children talk about their parents, your child's friends seeing Pentagrams on the covers of your child's binder may cause problems. Or using words such as "coven" or "witch". Looseing the word "witch" may help. Although many Pagans are loath to loose that word, they are quite proud of it.
Begin by inviting the younger child to view the "party" at Sabbats and the child will tell his/her friends that they had a party at their house. As the child gets older, their understanding of the need for secrecy becomes more evident. My belief is too involve the children in as many aspects of the religion as possible. Like all other religions - The family that worships together, stays together. The child must understand though that secrecy is a necessity, not because we are ashamed of being Pagan or that we are doing something wrong. It is because others, mostly Christians, feel threatened by our actions and have worked hard to make everyone believe that what we do is evil.
2 THE CHILDS RELATIONSHIP TO THE COMMUNITY
Enrollment forms have removed the religion question as unconstitutional. If however, it is there, you are under no obligation to answer it. The younger child is seldom asked their religion. The older child may be taught to treat the question as a "house rule". Example: "I'm sorry, but I can't discuss either, politics or religion outside the home." As your child develops friendships, they may feel that they can confide in their "best" friend, always stress the importance of being careful that the person can REALLY be trusted.
A teacher may take the child saying they are a witch as evil and report their suspicions to the Child Welfare agencies. The fear in society to associate evil with anything Pagan is quite evident. This could be very serious to a Pagan family with children and neighbors who consider it their duty to convert you or punish you in their Gods name by reporting what they believe to the authorities.
We must instill a need for secrecy from birth, however, this must be done without instilling fear. Ways of securing help in these areas are on-line sources & Pagan groups in your area. Of course the way to completely remove the threat is to HomeSchool your children. However, this will also remove them from any interaction with other children. Though some believe that this is not necessarily a bad thing these days..
3. THE CHILDS RELATIONSHIP WITH NON-PAGAN FAMILY
Let us deal with the non-Pagan family issue a bit. The feelings from Christian family members may swing from tolerant to openly hostile depending on your situation. You may see family members trying to "convert" your child and trying to convince them that they are going to hell and worship satan. You may hear your children tell you of grandma pouring water on your head to wash away sin. Get the children to talk openly after visits with non-Pagan family members.
Instilling the fact that we do not believe in either hell or satan from an early age is very important. Teaching the child that we are good or evil unto ourselves, no horned creature has any influence. An older child may use the fact that nowhere in the bible do you find a description of satan outside the snake in Eden. As to "hell", the child must be taught our belief in reincarnation from the cradle. The fact that we live many lives in lessons to the Gods, when we get it right, we move on to Them that made us.
If you find your children feeling undue pressure, a little talk with family members about religious freedom, tolerance and respect may be in store.
4. THE CHILD'S RELATIONSHIP WITH RELIGIOUS/SPIRITUAL SYSTEM
The belief of allowing a child to choose their own path with nothing but random upbringing is impractical. Without religious guidance of some sort, a person becomes confused and susceptible to cults and other rather "interesting" groups.
As a Christian does, include your children in ritual, teach them what you know and believe. Give them specific direction and goals A person who is taught a specific religion is in a better position to compare and make an informed decision than one brought up on nothing. Give them a rounded background and help them on their quest to finding their own path to the God and Goddess.
Teach them respect and tolerance for other religions as Pagans believe that all paths lead to the same place. Perhaps by different roads, but the same destination. I cannot stress enough the importance for secrecy. Explain the history of fear as the child gets older and make sure they understand that while the things done out of fear were horrible, they were accomplished by those that simply did not have the understanding that we do of our beliefs. Teach them to see that many people (Christians) will believe anything they can't see, touch, taste and smell is not real or is evil.
Don't scare the child with horror stories, rather teach them inner strenght through the Gods and Goddesses in helping them deal with others of different faiths. A balance can be reached with the support of others within your area.
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© 1997 silverphoenix@cybergal.com
