Meet the Donut Heads!

see more photos in Bahston here!

16 APRIL - BOSTON, MASSACHUSSETTS

23 April - JACKSON, MICHIGAN

Yes, I know, some of you are going to whip me when you read this, but I've been back to my hometown for a brief visit over the Easter holiday. I just happened to be driving the Pimpmobile cross-country from Boston to Milwaukee and Jackson was a nice resting point. Besides, my mother runs an amazing hotel/restaurant/laundromat here. Love you ma.

28 April - MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN

Happy Friday! I'm happy anyway, this is my third day in the office and I'm beginning to miss the sun. Actually, I really like what I'm doing, market research is pretty cool. I'm learning so much and my work mates are fantastic! I'm very aware of how fortunate I am to have this opportunity. Milwaukee has been very nice, I love where I'm staying barring the smoke alarm incident last night. You don't really want to know, trust me. No word on my travel route yet, but between taking on Milwaukee and Boston drivers recently I think I can tackle any metropolitan area now.

4 May - MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN PART II

My stint in the office concludes today and I would like to say a quick 'g'day' to Eric, Cara, Bill, Jon, and all the people at GMR who have made me feel so welcome and valued this last week. Thanks kids! I'm now turning my attention towards getting everything ready for this weekend's training. I'm looking forward to meeting my partner in crime for the summer and hitting the road, though I will miss the frozen custard at Kopp's, the kitchen in my room and the smoke alarm. The weather is incredible here, I can't believe I'm sitting here writing this when I could be outside. Cue...

10 May - PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND

I'm back!!! To New England that is. Training has ceased and I am back to jolly old (new) england to spread the good word of Coolatta far and wide (as far and wide as Boston and environs anyway). Come, follow me! Sorry, I was channeling Spartacus for a moment. No wonder as I just saw 'Gladiator' at the cinema, what an intense film. Anyway, back to me. I find my return to 'Bahston' a bit ironic in light of my last commentary from here, but in a way fitting as I now have an opportunity to give Beantown another chance and perhaps even learn to love it. My partner Dan and I are in Providence to help the sampling van with some events this weekend, we arrived today and explored the city and Brown University campus. What a beautiful city, or well developed town rather, this is! Hey mom, it looks just like the tv show, though it's obvious it's predominantly fiction because there's no traffic in the scenes that even mildly compares with the deranged legions of kamikaze navigators Dan and I took on today. These people drive on the shoulder of the highway regularly, and not just to reach the next exit mind you. It's an unofficial extra lane here.

I will conclude by singing the praises of my new road warrior, Dan P. He kicks so much ass I'm surprised he can still walk. What a cool guy, he's not only a DJ extraordinaire but he's also quite the impressionist and he finds me incredibly funny which of course confirms the irrefutable nature of his immensely good taste. He may even make an occasional commentary here on the website so stay tuned. Until next time, keep playing hard and making me proud you legends!

18 May - QUINCY, MASSACHUSSETTS

Hey kids! I've been out and about lately, after the gigs in Providence D and I went down to Newport to see the myriad of obscenely expensive mansions that scatter the coast from days gone by. Pretty impressive, but I can't imagine living in a place like that. Anyway, we had great weather and it was a good time. Now we're back in Bahston, or Quincy rather, settling in to our new apartment. Yeah, we actually have an apartment for the next month as it's cheaper than staying in a hotel. It's a great place, we have our own bedrooms, bathrooms, etc. all in all a very good situation. Quincy is a nice town just outside of the city proper so location is nearly perfect, though I haven't explored enough yet to give you a list of 'must sees'. Rock on all, talk to you soon!

Just a short note to Police officer #178 in Dedham; you are the reason that law enforcement has such a nasty reputation and is disrespected. Authority is built on consistency and manners, not rudeness and disrespect.

28 May - BOSTON, MASSACHUSSETTS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFFEROO!!!!!

30 May - BOSTON, MASSACHUSSETTS

Hey kids! I'm still here and it's just getting better every day! Our flat still rocks, the pool is finally open (pool party next weekend), and events are coming along. The Fiona Apple concert was excellent, if she's coming through your town I suggest you go and see her, especially you ass kicking women out there! Tonight we're going to work the REO Speedwagon/Styx concert, what a flashback! I remember sitting in the car at the gas station waiting for mom to fill up the car, REO in my ears and the sweet smell of petrol in my nose. So that's what happened to me... Weather will probably be crap tonight because we're at an outdoor venue but it's corporate rock, who needs sunshine? Went to my first Tae Bo class last week and got nailed, but I think I'll go back again and get better. Also found a Patagonia store in town, now I know where to send my checks... love to you all!

31 May - BOSTON

WOW!!! The words are hard to find which is a rarity for me as most of you well know. Worked the REO Speedwagon/Styx concert last night. WOW!!! Some of you may not be able to fully appreciate this because of age or location, but these guys were music gods of their day and last night they proved that they're still badasses. If you have a chance to see this concert then do it, you won't be sorry.

REO Speedwagon kicks ass! Those guys blew the lid off the place; the music was a fantastic as ever and Kevin's voice (and new haircut) was perfect. Should the guys ever by chance read this: You were/are amazing! I couldn't have asked for a better soundtrack to my youth and the best moments were relived last night. You lads have still got it, thanks for coming back and reminding us what we've been missing!

Oh yeah, and Styx was great too, but I'm a little biased. All the best, forgive me for not writing for a few days as we have incredible weather and I'm going to enjoy it poolside! Rock on kids!

15 June - QUINCY, MA

CONGRATULATIONS STEWART AND SHARON ON YOUR NEW BABY!

BORN 4 JUNE, 2000

Yaayyy! Babies rock! So long as they're not mine. I love other people's babies because I can play with them and give them back when they get cranky. All the glory, none of the pain (or puke). Hey guess what? Everything still kicks in Boston, recent concerts include Indigo Girls and The Cure. Talk about opposing ends of the spectrum! The most recent highlight however was working at the Special Olympics at MIT. We had concert ticket drawings, dance parties, twist contests... absolutely amazing! I've never seen people dive and tackle for a deck of cards before. We had the best time there, the athletes were incredible and so much fun to party with! If I can snag a picture of me dancing on top of the ute I'll post it. Don't forget to try those Coolattas people! I highly recommend the strawberry and vanilla bean.

The drivers around here are still crazy bastards but Dan's maneuvering skills are improving with every weave and honk. I caught a 24 hour flu bug a couple of days ago which has left me with a sore throat capable of rendering me silent for a time. No, I'm serious. Depeche Mode said it best - 'enjoy the silence'.

Silence my ass. I love computers. Forgot to mention my moment of poetic beauty yesterday. Pulled into a Dunkin' Donuts and saw a cop at the drive-thru window. We got a photo. Watch for posting...

19 June - QUINCY MA

You would all love to be here right now. How you all would be savouring every solitary second of aching silence with grateful smiles on your smug faces. Holy S, Batman! Sorry. I have laryngitis folks; that's right, I can barely squeak out a syllable (unless it starts with an 's' apparently). I can't talk which means that I can't work either; I'm resigned to sitting in the park, writing in my journal and talking to myself day in and day out. I'm always saying that I'm crazy but that could be an official diagnosis by the end of the week. I'm living out my personal hell right now, with the full knowledge that it would be your own slice of heaven. To have me silenced, even for a fleeting moment, would surely be a gift from Creation. Well enjoy it while it lasts people! For those of you who don't have the blessing of my company on a regular basis, not much will change for you as the written word is as strong as ever. Just wanted you all to know that I'm a little sickie and written correspondence will probably increase in the coming days.

I just want to finish by wishing the best of luck and support to my Special K who is completing a three day, 60 mile walk right now in support of Breast Cancer awareness and fundraising for research. She is the most amazing, kick ass girl I know and I am immensely proud of her every day. Thanks to all of you who made a contribution to her efforts, it is much appreciated! Take care and keep writing!

23 June - SAME PLACE

I keep seeing cops with donuts. I'm living amongst stereotypes! The last cop I spied couldn't chase a turtle unless it was holding a chocolate glazed. Unbelievable. And they keep asking us for free coffee at events in the city. Where is our free parking guys? Don't get me wrong, I like cops; they get us into Red Sox games for free and help us with city permits, but enough with the coffee guys. Nothing else amazing happening except that I got pelted in the noodle with a rock by some snot-nosed teeny bastards who snuck into our apartment complex pool and got huffy when we wouldn't let them use the hot tub. Dan and Jerry chased them into the Wal-Mart parking lot, it was like a particularly inspiring episode of 'Starsky and Hutch'. My heroes. Thanks guys!

6 July - TAKE A WILD GUESS

Yaayyy! I'm back people! My voice has healed and if you ask anyone in greater Boston you'll know I'm as vocal as ever. I'm probably making up for lost time actually. This has been a truly amazing week; we've done some fantastic events and I have met some of the coolest people! The last week's events have included giving out concert tickets at Carson Beach, the Marc Anthony concert (amazing show, go if you can), USA v. Brasil Gold Cup soccer match (USA won 1-0), "Pops Goes the Fourth" Celebration on the Esplanade, and the Natalie Merchant concert. I would like to say hi to Matt, Rob, Miguel, and Eric (four of the most impressive tailgaters at Foxboro), and to Dawn and the ladies who were amazing ambassadors for DD. Ta ladies! Before the Natalie show Dano and I went to a portside restaurant for dinner; a nice view of the harbour on the deck and nice food. The highlight however was the music; Frank Sinatra, Marvin Gaye, Harry Connick Jr. (swoon Betsey, swoon!), and Lionel Ritchie. Can someone find the trend in that? Two words: ROCK ON!

I've finally been getting into the social scene around here. My wonderful mates David, Earl, Anthony, and Joe have made a point of enriching my evenings with phenomenal dance clubs where I have been shakin' my groove thang frequently and without inhibition. Is there a better place to be completely free than a crowded dance floor, music pulsing through your body, the heat and rhythm rising from every muscle? Fantastic. I am sad to say that I have yet to get into the local volleyball scene (insert visual of me ducking to avoid the disappointment and harassment of my mates in Michigan). Soon people! I'm just giving the locals time to prepare. Bring it on!

I hope you're all doing very well and are making me proud with your amazing lives! Take care and keep writing and calling; I'm decorating my bland bedroom with your cards and posties so keep 'em coming! The more outrageous the better of course. Love, a big hug and an outrageous smile to you all!

11 July - CAMBRIDGE, MA

Oh happy day! Oh happy day off! An entire day all to myself, ahhh... I decided to daytrip in Cambridge as I've not spent any quality time there and every psychobastard and his dog is in the city watching the Tall Ships so why the hell not? I wandered around Harvard University, went to some museums, and generally explored as I do. I think I saw most if not all of campus. It's not as big as it is grand, and even that perception was rather disappointing. Perhaps it would be a different story if I were here in the fall; uni changes completely when the campus is teeming with students. I miss uni. Sniff...

Observations of the day: Saw a guy on the T in jeans and a turtleneck. It's 85 degrees out today. I've seen more nasal passages in the last 12 hours than a midget at an NBA league dinner. Cambridge is beautiful, historical, romantic, and saturated in elitism. Not my scene but it's fun as hell to watch people! I had a nice nap on the lawn at Radcliffe after lunch - lovely. I woke up to find a small processional passing by/over me, turned out to be an art class. I was the definition of 'still life'. On the way to the T the masses were entertained by a plethora of street musicians, many of whom are incredibly talented. All in all a very nice day; I think I've found a nice place to hang out provided I don't talk to anyone. As if that's possible. If there are any bright stars there I'll find them. We'll be at Sail Boston for work on Wednesday and Thursday, and on to Free Friday Flicks at the Hatch Shell on, you guessed it, Friday! Stop by and see us kids!

15 July - QUINCY, MA

CONGRATULATIONS ANNE-MARIE AND GRAHAM ON YOUR NEW BABY!

BORN 14 JULY, 2000

28 July - QUINCY, MA

Almost two weeks without a word from me, can you believe it? Well, no more my friends! The Def Leppard concert was a blast, I keep saying that about the bands but it's just true! It was a fantastic show, in part because of the memories associated with the songs. Ah the days, shooting pool in the basement of my Dad's house, the Pyromania album blasting in the background... Perhaps only I could derive fond thoughts from such a situation but that's what gives me charm. Anyway, Friday we moved on to the Coolatta Concert Series in Albany, NY; I took one glimpse of the towering Empire State Plaza and immediately thought of George Orwell's '1984'. This is generally not a good comparison I might add. It was a good show none the less and we were home before 1:00 am.

We spent the weekend in New Hampshire, day one at Hampton Beach (a typical tourist-trap-overpriced-shoddy-shack-stuffed-to-the-rafters-with-two-families-cramped-beach-crap-souvenirs) and day two at White Mountain State Park. After Hampton Beach we found a charming little motel on the lake; lakefront rooms with beautiful hardwood floors and a screened-in porch. Looks like a place where my grandparents would have stayed - an antique smell you find both fresh and nostalgic. Had dinner at Zack's Restaurant just down the road; beautiful meals in abundant portions. Dan felt guilty for abandoning his half-full plate, but his stomach would have no arguement. The drive along Route 11 was fantastic; picturesque scenery along winding stretches of lakeside road, divided by green valleys and rocky walls. I'd wished my friend Dazz was here. That was just the kind of place he and I would have happened upon on our travels. Of course my poetic ramblings ended once we arrived at Meadowbrook Farms for the Eminem concert. It was alright but not impressive. I was most interested in seeing who exactly would come to an Eminem show. Heaps of skinny white middle class kiddies. An interesting experience that I don't wish to repeat. The rest of this week has been, well, wet. I spent yesterday at the movies (saw X-Men again; or rather 'Hugh Jackman Looks Hot for Two Hours in X-Men'; I can't say I've ever been a scruffy facial hair person but comic book characters have different standards) and at the bookstore. It's rained almost constantly since Wednesday, but we're hoping for a break tonight as we have the Allman Brothers show; I'm looking forward to hearing them as I hear they not only put on a very long show but they are one of two groups who actually sing a song with my name in it (the other is Barry Manilow). Sunday we're off to contend with the cream of the New England social scene at the Bangor State Fair. This is sarcasm at its most intense.

3 August - HOME AGAIN, MA

This has been one interesting week. We spent last weekend in the thriving metropolis of Bangor, Maine. Wow. I'd heard the jokes around Boston but oh my. My first impression however was amusing to say the least. Went for a stroll into town and saw the ususals: lots of auto parts stores, old empty buildings, bad-ass cars thundering down the main drag, and even a few skanky folks. So what do I happen upon amidst all this? A Shakespeare Festival. Yeah, that's what I thought. The stage was pretty makeshift as was the locale (a field on the other side of the railroad tracks by the river), but the show itself was excellent; a performance of 'A Comedy of Errors' which was hilarious not only because of the content but because at one point we had to wait for passing train to resume the play. The next day we worked the Bangor State Fair, the hightlight of the Bangor social calendar. It was quite a show, and the petting zoo was just across the way as well. The radio station didn't help much at first, starting out our relationship with tunes by Mr. Big, Phil Collins, Vertical Horizon, and Corey Hart. Corey Hart for Christ's sake. Dan was making plans to play some Ice-T but later decided against it. We left Bangor the following day and have since been to two Santana shows and the beach. Oh my the beach... we pulled in to Carson Beach today to the sight of five hardbodies huddled together at the lifeguard stand. We decided to investigate. It turns out these guys were male strippers who were trying to get some photos for a promotional poster for an upcoming show. Their photographer didn't show up so they'd asked a passerby on the beach to help them out. Good thing I showed up with my big, curvaceous, inviting... camera. You sick bastards. They really were very sweet guys. Anyway, I took heaps of photos of the guys as did Dan (come on guys, he'd just bought a new camera) and I've been invited to an upcoming show for my troubles. Hey mom, you sure you don't want to come out for a visit, say the 20th of August?

12 August - JACKSON, MI

HAPPY 50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY GRANDMA & GRANDPA BROWN!

Hey hey! It's a celebration and we're gonna get down tonight! At least if my family lives up to its reputation we will. No worries! This time at home has been extremely hectic but so much fun. I'm sorry to say that there are people I won't be able to see this time around but I will be back in a month or so, keep your calendars and pencils out. Yesterday I trekked over to lovely Kalamazoo-zoo-zoo-zoo-zoo to visit some friends; I love that place so much. Went out to Wonderful's to check out Brad's rockin' band The Blues Dealers who were opening for Chicago's own Lil Ed and the Blues Imerials. Holy blues Batman! The Dealers were great as always, and what a blast to check out Ed and the boys! Lil Ed was going off, this guy was absolutely incredible; personality and enthusiasm coming out his arse. It was the best feeling being back there last night, surrounded by great friends, feeling the smoke burn my eyes, the smell of beer tickling my nose, and the blues swimming inside me. Undeniable magic.

26 August - QUINCY, MA

Haaayyy! What a fantastic week this has been! Special K came over to visit for a day on her way to Maine to start her trail blazing project at Baxter State Park; it was wonderful to see her again, it's strange how seeing someone reminds you how much you miss them when they're away. Anyway, Thursday I met up with the boys for a night of clubbing, as David so eloquently puts it, 'good times.' Last night Dano and Christian and I went out to the Ranch House to see a neighbour's blues band perform. Fantastic time; the crowd was very small but what we lacked in numbers we made up for in enthusiasm. We were dancing fools all night long, and may I take this moment to commend Dano on his inspiring moves. Well done Spanky. A note of congrats to Steve and the guys for a find job and thanks to Deb for inviting us to come out; ta girl! The whole night was good with some unexpected twists along the way, all in all a very memorable time. Today was the WKLB Country Fest freaturing Reba McEntire; I have to say that country fans are the most wonderful people, so friendly and fun. I've been reflecting on my time here and have concluded that I don't want to go, but I've been saying that for three years and I haven't stopped yet. I'm looking forward to coming back next summer and resuming my role as the ambassador of fun yet again, until then I shall have to savour the memories and friendships I've gained and nurture them until I return. And I'll keep doing insane things as usual.

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