Lowe's Great Safety Adventure Tour
31 OCTOBER, 2000 - AMARILLO, TX
HAPPY HALLOWEENIE!!!
Hey kids! I’m back! Thought you’d gotten rid of me perhaps, but alas! I have returned even stronger and more outrageous than ever! Welcome to Texas, home of oversized belt buckles and a real glass of iced tea. I’d also like to welcome you to the Lowe’s Great Safety Adventure tour! Josh, Aaron, Al and I travel around the country teaching the littlies about home safety. It is one of the coolest jobs I’ve ever done, and that’s saying something considering I’ve only been doing it for six days. Between the physical set up of the trucks and playing with/ educating kids all day, I’m in heaven! Josh, Aaron, and Al (let’s call them ‘my men’ from now on) have been so good to me and have had everything to do with my amazing first moments with this tour. Thanks guys!
Halloweenie in Amarillo isn’t all that dramatic, though Josh and I went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and spotted some brightly dressed rednecks floating around. Then we saw the people who were actually dressed up for Halloweenie. All joking aside, it should be a quiet one which is all right by me; the candy-filled holidays aren’t the best for me anyway. Incidentally, for those of you who’ve ever asked for my advice or thought I was intelligent; I had four pegs left in the game at Cracker Barrel which, according to the notes on the game, means that I am a complete idiot.
The last week as been great folks, I feel it would be unfair if I didn’t share some of it with you. I arrived in St. Louis after two hours of weather delays in Milwaukee to be greeted by Josh, my tour manager and travel buddy. I met the rest of the crew (more elaborate details on these lovely guys in our next update) the next day when we met up to do our first event in St. Louis; the first of two elementary schools. Our volunteers from Lowe’s were absolutely fantastic, we could not have asked for better staff! Hats off to Diane, Art, Sondra, and Paula who were at every event, and to those who helped out at the store! I watched everyone else for the first few tours, then got into it myself by arvo. I love it! Josh and I pissed out of St. Louis early Monday and were in Amarillo for dinner. Note: Oklahoma is an incredibly boring state to drive through. And the Wendy’s on the exit at the end of toll hwy 44 is crap. Put that in your travel book…
5 NOVEMBER – AMARILLO, TX
Hey y’all! Having a lovely time in Amarillo, gateway to the southwest (or at least that’s what the 1960s postcard says)! Sherri (one of our outstanding volunteers) took us to the famous ‘Arnold’s’, a dive hamburger joint that prides itself on making the largest hamburger possibly ever – an astounding 18” in diameter (that’s big meat folks)! The weather has been all over the place since we’ve been here but it was absolutely crap yesterday, it pissed down like crazy. Certainly made work interesting… Luckily it improved significantly today and made for a very busy and rewarding day. The community was really excited about our presence and came out in force to experience the Great Safety Adventure. There were entire families waiting for over an hour to do the tour and children sobbing with despair at having missed us, absolutely incredible...
I forgot until now how much I love Texas… what a surreal place. I love all the belt buckles the size of plates, the big hats and Wranglers, the stunning and massive thunderstorms, and who can forget the drawl. The people here are just incredible. Our volunteers at the Lowe's store in Amarillo were fantastic; they exuded so much enthusiasm and worked hard with us all weekend. You rock Amarillo!
6 NOVEMBER – SOMEWHERE BETWEEN PHOENIX AND PALM SPRINGS
It’s raining in Arizona; now I’ve seen it all. A sunset on the Tasman Sea (you remember, Dazz), standing at the top of King’s Canyon, contemplating the base of Uluru, swimming among infinite life in the Great Barrier Reef, walking the Golden Gate Bridge as it is enveloped by rolling fog, and seeing rain in Arizona. That’s about it hey. Is my life complete? In a way perhaps, but this tour isn’t over yet and neither is my case of wanderlust. I said 'lust'…
Just spied what resembled a mushroom cloud a few miles from I-10 in AZ; Josh now is in need of a third lense for his sunnies… Every camper in the four corners area is on I-10 right now. We just passed a caravan of them. We keep passing caravans of them. Is there an RV convention in Blythe or is this truly Snowbird country?
LATER SAME DAY...
I made it! I am in Indio, on the outskirts of Palm Springs, CA. I don't start work until Thursday so I have a couple of days to explore which I'm looking forward to immensely! Tonight I wandered over to the casino (which just happens to be next door to my hotel) and bowled a few games at the attached bowling alley (they play fantastic music there, I was singing and dancing more than I was bowling). I scored my second highest game ever (159) on my first go; it was all downhill from there, but a good time was had by all and it proved that my theory about the power of apathy has some validity. I then had a feed and blew $8 on the pokies, a quiet but relatively entertaining time. I find that the people watching in casinos is unbeatable. It seems that everyone is there for a different reason, though I'm willing to propose that three quarters of them are seniors trying to supplement their social security checks. If George and Al really want to help out with regards to social security, perhaps they should take that $1 trillion and put it to the pokies! Maybe blackjack. Anyway, something to consider. Well, the Packers and Vikings are playing tonight, gotta go kids!
10 NOVEMBER – PALM SPRINGS, CA
Get up! Get on up… A little James Brown magic to usher in today’s update! Like a sex machine, baby… I’m feelin’ the funk kids! Special K, I know you’re diggin’ it girl, all the way in Maine! It’s been a pretty good day today, this morning I signed on to do the Lowe’s tour next year, yaayyy! Perhaps I’ll get to see my friends in Amarillo again sooner than expected! For the moment however I’m looking forward to finishing out this leg of the tour, seeing my beautiful sister next month in Phoenix for the first time in two years, and heading off to some foreign locale for January. I’m also making plans to hit Boston again, so stay tuned you Beantowners!
I’m having a bit of a lonely moment tonight. You know, those moments you get when you’re 24 years old and have so many things going so well for you and you still feel the need to have something to whine about. Those moments when you’re 24 years old and reading John Gray self-help books in order to gain some insight into why you struggle to get and keep dates. Why the hell are the rest of you so damn good at it? Still not my time I guess. Let’s concentrate on the good things, shall we? I rock. Hey, I feel better already…
11 NOVEMBER – PALM SPRINGS, CA
I had a true musical experience tonight! The one and only B.B. King was playing next door at the casino, so how could I honestly forfeit such an opportunity? What a fantastic show – it occurs to you while you sit there soaking in the sound that you are hearing what rock and roll was, is, and can ever hope to be.
14 NOVEMBER – IRVINE, CA
I’ve left the beautiful and ostentatious Palm Springs for the highways and software companies of Irvine! I suppose someone has got to suck a huge portion of the power from Hoover Damn to keep the desert green and lush, so Palm Springs is not a complete waste. Ah, sweet sarcasm! A nice place, just not my place. I’ve yet to find my place actually, but I suppose I stand a good chance of happening upon it while on this tour. I’ve already figured out that L.A. is not my place either, we drove right to the edge of downtown yesterday and that is the closest I think I ever want to get. Just not my place… Highlights of my temporary home are the bagel and coffee shops at the strip on the other side of the building, at least I have bagels for breakfast! Yummm…
20 NOVEMBER – ALAMEDA, CA
A holiday already? Amazing. A whole week off for Thanksgiving – I’m enjoying the pilgrims’ bounty with my aunt Rory in San Francisco this year. Don’t you find it a tad ironic that this holiday is centered around giving thanks for the fact that the native americans literally saved the ill-equipped and unprepared settlers/invaders from starvation and death and yet we spent the next three hundred years decimating their cultures and populations? Just a thought.
22 NOVEMBER – ALAMEDA, CA
Nice day, doing nothing of importance has never been so time consuming! Hitched a ride with Kimberly into Berkley; Telegraph road is the place to do some holiday shopping! Planning to go and see ‘Unbreakable’ (new flick with Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson) this today or tomorrow. Josh will tell you that I haven’t shut up about this film, anticipation is high, kids! Couldn’t go to Berkley without hitting Limbo Lounge, Rasputin and Amoeba Music stores (no mom, I didn’t buy anything), even fit in a slice of pizza from Fat Slice (they live up to their name!
28 NOVEMBER - ONTARIO, CA
Back in SoCal, it's smoggy and it stinks. I'm being nice about it mom, I'm struggling not to use stronger words. The hotel is great and the big-ass mall down the road has a Virgin Records store so I spent three hours listening to music today; happy happy joy joy (thank you Ren and Stimpy)!!! My personal heaven I think, if I ever make it there. The trip from San Fran was great, Josh and I both have heaps of music so there is some level of variety here. I'm going trough a Robbie Williams thing right now, I can't get that damn song 'Rock DJ' out of my head! Thank god I don't live in the UK or I'd probably be inundated by Robbie stuff. He's a bit of an icon there hey? No idea. All I know after watching the Virgin video network is that anyone who can strip down like that gets some measure of my respect. In other news, I've decided to go to Italy in January for my holiday, anyone in Europe wish to meet up with me? E-mail me if you're keen. Kiss kiss, play hard!
30 NOVEMBER – ONTARIO, CA
G’day again! This week has been fantastic! New music, new books, the tours have been great (I had my best one ever today, what a great feeling), and I’ve been getting to know my workmates better. It turns out they’re even more fabulous than I’d originally thought. Aaron and I had dinner together last night; I must state once and for all that he is the king of mashed potatoes! I’ve also managed to turn him on to chai and hummus so I’ve contributed something to his life at least. Hummus, the gift that keeps on giving…
1 DECEMBER – ONTARIO, CA
I didn’t tell anyone else, Sweet Pea, just everyone who visits my website :)!
2 DECEMBER – ONTARIO, CA
I just spoke with Dazz, my great mate from Britain, a while ago; yaayyy! We traveled together in New Zealand for a while, they were some of my very best weeks overseas and I’m looking forward to exploring some new locales in Italy with him in January! I haven’t actually spoken to him in almost two years, what a great feeling! Hey Dazz, now you’re famous, published on my web site (use the term ‘famous’ loosely here). You were famous to me anyway. Isn’t it just fantastic to talk with a great friend for a while? Especially one who you haven’t spoken with in a long time and miss heaps? I’ll live that feeling again very soon, in two weeks actually, when I visit my sister Nicole in Arizona. I haven’t seen her in two and a half years; I can hardly believe it’s been that long. Our initial meeting will probably be reminiscent of one of those ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ reunion episodes; you know, the ones where separated families find each other after thirty years and it’s joyful and tearful and a little bit odd? That will be me and Nic in two weeks.
Funny, Dazz said that I sounded very happy on the phone. I’d never thought of it. I have my down moments, but yeah, I guess I really am quite happy right now. I’d expected to be living in Australia right now, but sometimes plans go ‘wrong’ and you find the most amazing opportunities. I’m pretty happy right now, traveling the country, affecting kids’ lives, having heaps of fun playing and moving about and learning more about myself every day.
Can I just say one more thing? I haven’t yet properly and officially thanked my workmates for being such incredible guys. This tour is great but you really make the difference. Al, you are full of so much experience, great stories and advice, thanks for being so welcoming to me right away and always willing to help me out, answer my questions and laugh at my oddities. Aaron, you are just it! You are an absolute riot, I can’t get enough of you! I must keep in the spirit of our audacious flirting at work, even on my site. Josh, the Proc, what can I say? You rock. Enough said. You are a privilege to work with and a top travel partner! I can’t think of anyone I would rather share the Montana with, the image of you spitting into that tea bottle will stay with me forever. Thanks!
4 DECEMBER – SANDY, UT
Bless you and welcome to Mormon country! Josh and I actually arrived in Provo at about 3:00 this morning, but sleep beckoned us as much as the idea of pecan pancakes at Cracker Barrel the next morning, so we stopped for the night short of our destination. Alas, we have arrived at the outskirts of Salt Lake City, home of the 2002 Winter Olympics (a fact that is impossible to escape here), and headquarters of the Church of Latter Day Saints, aka Mormons. The city is surrounded by the incredible beauty of the towering Rocky Mountains (my first ever view of them), what a view to behold every day! Josh and I wandered around a bit, checked out the shops and went to the bookstore. I found out that SLCity has a Patagonia outlet store; now I know where to send this week’s check. Actually, if I don’t get some polyprop undies, I may be at risk for losing important appendages this week due to the frigid temps, so it’s a sound idea really. I justify so well.
I can’t believe how cold it is here! I’ve been spoiled by the warmth of California this past month, thereby rendering my current position almost unbearable. What a weenie. I love that word, ‘weenie’. No idea. I really miss volleyball, I haven’t played since I left Jackson. Aaron is a talented beach player but we haven’t gotten together for a really good pepper or anything (substandard equipment at the elementary schools); will my Jacktown mates consider getting together over the holidays to play a bit? I miss you all!
Take care and play hard, I’m off to find a good Mormon man to share…
8 DECEMBER – SANDY, UT
Yaayyy! I’m going to Italy! It’s official; I just bought my ticket last night. Yaayyy! The spell checker is having a fit with that word. I think it’s a word. It is now. There is no word to express what I’m feeling right now. Relief, anxiousness, joy, fear, anticipation, excitement, enthusiasm (no way!), ready to rock! I just know it will be an amazing three weeks! If you’re in Europe and can make it down to the Boot between 1 and 20 January, please e-mail me and let’s get something going! Also make sure I have your address if you’d like a postie!
I had such a great day today at work, we had a great school with cool kids and just had so much fun! We even had 6th graders today which is unprecedented. I had to wing the entire tour as it’s obvious that 6th graders won’t dig the same things as kindergartners, but I think it went well. Apparently the guys were pissing themselves laughing as they could hear me going crazy (as I do) inside the house. Go figure.
9 DECEMBER – SANDY, UT
Aaron came over last night and we had another dinner shindig; we made italian vegetable soup and tiramisu in an inspiring effort to gear up for the trip to Italy. It was a total blast, not only did it taste great but we had heaps of fun making it all! Thanks Aaron!
If there are any single ladies out there with dirty cars, take your filthy minds and vehicles to Supersonic Car Wash in Orem, Utah. This is a boy band recruiting station; every single employee is a good looking 16 – 30 year old male. You can get some good clean action for you and your car, I highly recommend the trip even just for browsing…
11 DECEMBER – SCOTTSDALE, AZ
Holy cow! That one is for you, Dazz. What an amazing 24 hours this has been. I have spent this last day with my lovely sister Nic who I haven’t seen in over two and a half years; when we first met up last night Nic nearly plowed poor unsuspecting Josh over in the excitement of our first hug. Our apologies Josh, but really what did you expect? I’ve managed to reunite with my sister and get all my Christmas shopping done in one day; all in a day’s work, hey? Tomorrow we’re spending the greater portion of the day at the Camelback Inn Resort and Spa getting ‘spa’d . No, that is not a word. Not yet anyway. What am I getting again, Nic? Oh yeah, a pedicure, a ninety (90) minute swedish massage, and an adobe clay purification body wrap with scalp treatment. I just typed this out as Nic dictated. Can I get you some coffee, ma’am? I’ll leave the true gushing for tomorrow post-spa. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful (and my sister works at a five diamond resort – a little shout out to all you AAAers out there)…
16 DECEMBER - SCOTTSDALE, AZ
Wow! What a great week this has been! My treatments at the Spa were amazing; I started out with an herbal wrap (you are, guess what, wrapped up in linens steamed with lavender and cloves), then had a pedicure (apparently I have lovely feet, I never realized that was possible), followed by a 90 minute Swedish massage, and finished my day with a detoxifying adobe clay body mask. Like I said, wow! It was such a relaxing day, I hardly spoke a word and when I did it was at half speed. No, I'm serious, ask my sister.
After our amazing retreat day, Nic and I met up with Josh and Aaron at Bucca, a fabulous family-style Italian restaurant. We had the perfect combination of great food and excellent company, I'm glad the guys had a chance to meet my sister. They like the way she laughs…
The fun for the week continued as Aaron and I climbed to the top of Camelback Mountain. It wasn't a climb so much as a 'vertical hike', but the views were stellar and it was a great feeling to stand at the summit and gaze out for miles on end. Incidentally, Aaron makes a killer version of my mom's Italian vegetable soup, it's truly amazing what that boy can do with a recipe and some tabasco sauce… We finished out the week by going out with Sandy (a friend and ally with the fire department) to Ra, a fabulous sushi bar in Scottsdale. It was my first experience with sushi and with some guidance from Aaron it was a great one! It was so strange to be finished with the tour, almost surreal in a way as it seems like I just got started. No wait, I did just get started.
21 DECEMBER - JACKSON, MI
Back in Jtown and damn is it cold! I had a hell of an adventure trying to get here; my plane in Detroit was cancelled so they put me on another flight that left a couple of hours later. Unfortunately, my luggage didn't accompany me to Lansing, so I was without underwear until three in the morning when a courier finally showed up at the house with my bags. Everything happens for a reason, right? I've decided to go commando from now on. Just kidding.
The drive from Phoenix to St. Louis was the interesting part actually. Al, Aaron and I drove together as far as Albuquerque the first night, then we drove to within an hour of our destination, nearly 1,000 miles in a day. It was pretty intense but it was so entertaining to chat with the other truckers on the road. You learn so many cool things, and a few things you may have never wanted to learn, but that's part of the fun!
Mom and I have done the holiday bonding thing today. I made mom drive my car because I hate the snow (thanks mom!). We went out and ran errands where I proceeded to buy a new pair of running shoes, a mountain bike (yaayyy!!!), and a few last minute gifts. We also baked Christmas cookies! I'm not going to eat any (alright, maybe one or two) but it's fun making them! I'm looking forward to the holidays with my family and playing heaps of volleyball! Have fun whatever you're doing!
22 DECEMBER - JACKSON, MI
I've lost a little bit of myself today but it'll be back soon. I had my morning run on the treadmill (it was -30 with wind chill, no outdoor jaunt today), wrapped the gifts, read up on Italy, and went with my dad and sister to donate blood. I dropped a pint of blood in seven minutes; that must be some kind of sadistic Red Cross record! The true motivation for donating blood is the Archway cookies, you can't lie to me. This weather has been awful, I can't believe my family has had to put up with this for two months! It's always a bad sign when your state is consistently featured on the Weather Channel.
25 DECEMBER - JACKSON, MI
Hey kids! Hope all is well wherever you are today! Guess what?! It's STILL snowing here! Bing Crosby would be thrilled, but it's getting old to me. Anyhoo, we had a bit of gift exchanging yesterday and today, I got some wonderful, insanely practical things which I'm very excited about. I'll keep this short as I have merrymaking to continue, but I wanted to let you all know that I have some photo pages! Below is a link to my Christmas photo page and there is also a link to some photos taken in Australia on the home page (look below 'Biographical Information'). Enjoy and have a great holiday!
Where the hell is the mistletoe?! Christmas photos...