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a blonde went into an electronic stor and asked "how much is this tv?"
the sailsman said "sorry, we dont sell to blondes"
the next day she came back as a brunette. she asked the sailsman how much the tv was. he said" sorry we dont sell to blondes"
the next day she came back as a red head. she asked how much the tv was. he said " sorry we dont sell to blondes"
she repleid..."i came in here as a brunette and as a red head, how do u know i am blonde?"
the sailsman said... "because thats not a tv...it's a micro wave!"
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three girls walk into the toilets in the middle ov a great night out to sort their makeup. there is a long length mirror, there is a sign above it saying:
"this mirror can tell if somethings true or false...test it...but be carefull u dont want to disssappear!"
so the brunette steps in front of the mirror and says" i think i am the prettiest girl in the world" POOF! the girl dissappears.
the red head steps infront of the mirror and says" i think i have the best figure in the whole country"POOF! she dissappeared!
seeing that her two friends were gone the next girl dcides that this is true and try's to get them back. she is blonde...so she stepd infront ov da mirror and says" i think...." POOF! she dissapears!
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General
this guy had met this girl at a golf party...they met up later and while they were have sex she kept shouting TROU FOX, TROU FAUX! He left this and thought it was some sort of praise.
the next day he went golfing with the golfing friends at the party. one ov them got a whole in one. then one other said TROU FAUX, TROU FAUX. sothe other asked wot do u mean wrong hole!?!?!?
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Sayinings:
growing old is mandetory, growing wise is optional.
middleage is when a broad mind and a narrow waist exchange places.
you're only young once, but you can be immature for ever.
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All little Peter ever wanted was a bike. One day he went to his dad to ask for one and Dad said: "I'm sorry son, but we've got an £80 000 debt on this house, we just can't afford to buy you a bike."
That night Peter was sat up in bed and heard some banging noises. He went and stood outside his parents door. He heard his Dad say: "That's it, I'm pulling out." His Mum said "wait, I'm coming too." The next day Peter's Dad found him just about to walk out the door with a suitcase in his hands. He said "Son, where are you going?"
Peter said:
"You're not leaving me on my own in this house with an £80 000 debt and no bike!"
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Why do woman close their eyes during sex?
Because they can't stand to see a man happy!
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3 men on a building site. 1 man drops a brick and sees his boss underneath, he shouts "falling brick!". The boss moves out the way. he says"thank you , you have just saved my life, you get a raise."
the second man sees this and does the same. he gets the same result. but the third guy has a bit of a stutter... so he drops the brick over his boss and shouts" f...f...f...f...f...fcuking hell i hit him!"
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