Author: RavenWolf
Pairing: B/A, A/C
Rating: PG-13 for swearing
Disclaimer: If they were mine, I wouldn't have had to write this fic.
Summary: Buffy watches Angel and Cordelia together and remembers what she's lost.
Angel is gorgeous. I'd forgotten just how, though. He's deep and
dark, and his mysterious eyes speak of incredible times and pain. Pain.
It's always present. I would like to say that I understood, but I don't. I
don't think I ever will. His hair sticks up in an adorable way, because he
hasn't seen his reflection to comb it for over two hundred years.
It's obvious to anyone that his soul is a blessing rather than a
curse. He hasn't killed since he was Angelus. He seems to have made a good
name for himself in L.A. Or maybe the soul is a curse. If Spike could love
me without a soul, why couldn't he? Is Angel just a false person, created
by some magick spell? Does it even matter?
We're like two sides of the same coin, him and I. He's dark, I'm
light, but we're both essentially the same.
It makes my heart swell everytime he walks into the room. I catch my
breath every time he gets jealous, or over-protective. It makes me love him
more, to see how much he cares. Or how he used to care. How much he would
have given, just to protect me. I snort. Hah. Eternal love for Angel
doesn't seem to last for more than a year or two.
But he knows, he knows that I'm perfectly capable of taking care of
myself. He also knows that it's nice for me, not to have to watch my own
back all the time. I love him so much. It crushes me to see him in pain,
mental or physical.
That's why it hurts, hurts so deeply to watch him walk into my living
room, with Cordelia clinging to him. That's right. Cordelia. Former May
Queen bitch of the year. God, no. I feel tears spring unbidden to my eyes.
To think of all the times she told me that he would be hers, that she was
the Slayer when it came to dating. How many times Willow reassured me that
she wasn't his type. That I was the only one for him. Even he told me that
he would love me forever, that he couldn't live without me. What a load of
shit.