Nursery Tales From the Crypt
Silly Stories
Horror Stories
Raymond's Stories
This collection of nursery rhyme parodies was originally entitled Nursery Crimes.
Rock-a-bye baby in the treetop.
When the wind blows the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks, well then, can't you guess?
Down will come baby. Oh, what a mess!
Wee Willie Werewolf
Running through the town,
Peeping in your windows -
Hairy and brown!
I love little pussy.
His throat is so warm,
And if I don't hurt him
He'll do me no harm.
I'll sit by the fire
And bite off his ear,
And then, if he scratches,
I'll drown him in beer.
Sing a song of sixpence,
A thing I don't have often.
Four-and-twenty corpses
Packed in one coffin.
When the box was opened
The bodies all jumped out.
Oh, wasn't that a dainty sight
To see them dance about.
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
There came a vampire
With lips of red fire
Who sucked Muffet's blood all away.
Mary, Mary
Fat and hairy,
Where did your beauty go?
Those silver bells and cockle shells
Can't hide your age, you know.
Little Polly Flinders
Sat among the cinders,
One foot burning in the fireplace.
Mother came and caught her
And smacked her little daughter,
So Polly turned and punched her in the face!
Horror Stories
Silly Stories
Raymond's Stories