|
xxx: ME I GOT A LOUSY ATTITUDE
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you gotta work thru those hard times...the challanges of life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think I have a pretty good attitude
xxx: I NEED TO WORK ON IT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is why I want to teach
MrSelfDevelopmnt: good for you
xxx: YOU GOT A GREAT ATTITUDE
MrSelfDevelopmnt: thanks Ken
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I am trying
xxx: I DONT KNOW HOW YOIU DO IT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: when I was a kid in germany we had this Christmas carol
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and the words kinda stuck with me
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it does not take much to be happy
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but the one who is happy
MrSelfDevelopmnt: is king
xxx:: OH I SEE
xxx:: I GET IT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you gotta maintain that magic and wonder we had as children
MrSelfDevelopmnt: when we had it
xxx:: I WANT TO BE KING
MrSelfDevelopmnt: before we somehow lost it
xxx: I WAS DEPRESSED AS A CHILD
MrSelfDevelopmnt: just don't let the problem and troubles get you down
MrSelfDevelopmnt: sorry buddy
MrSelfDevelopmnt: remember, everything has reasons
xxx: YOU THINK SO
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I know so
MrSelfDevelopmnt: absolutely
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it does not come from nowhere
xxx: ONE TIME I TOOK A LOT OF ILLEGAL DRUGS AND SAW JESUS
MrSelfDevelopmnt: really
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well garsh darn it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: lol
xxx: IT STAYS WITH ME TO THIS DAY
MrSelfDevelopmnt: how and when was that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I bet
MrSelfDevelopmnt: tell me about it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I don't mean to pry
MrSelfDevelopmnt: just very interested
xxx: JESUS MADE ME TO UNDERSTAND WHY THE WORLD WAS CREATED
MrSelfDevelopmnt: oh please,,......tell me
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yes
xxx: HE HELD ME AND I FELT GODS' INFINITE LOVE . IT WAS LOVE BEYONE REASON BUT I UNDERSTOOD . I TOLD JESUS THAT I HAD TO GET BACK TO THE WORLD TO TELL EVERYONE
MrSelfDevelopmnt: hey there, you are on a mission then
xxx: I GUESS SO . JESUS WAS ALL LIGHT WITHOUT ANY SHADOW
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and..what happened???
MrSelfDevelopmnt: wow
xxx: WELL AT FIRST I WAS IN ROOMS THAT WAS DIFFERENT COLORS
MrSelfDevelopmnt: ok
xxx: IT WAS NICE BUT I SENSE SOMETHING MISSING
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yes
xxx: THAN I SAW A PIN PRICK OF LIGHT
xxx: I WILL MYSELF TOWARD IT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and
xxx: THE LIGHT GREW STRRONGER AND THAN THERE WAS JESUS . HE WAS THE LIGHT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: wow
MrSelfDevelopmnt: how long was that ago????
xxx: WE TALKED BUT NOT IN WORDS WITH OUR MOUTHS BUT HE HELD ME IN HIS LAP AND LET ME FEEL THE LOVE THAT CREATED EVERYTHING
xxx:: 30 YEARS AGO BUT ITS LIKE YESTERDAY FOR ME
MrSelfDevelopmnt: wow
MrSelfDevelopmnt: what an experience
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and..what have you learned from it????
xxx: I REALLY TOOK A LOT OF DRUGS . MAYBE I TOOK TOO MUCH AND DIED . I DONT' KNOW . BUT I THINK ABOUT IT OFTEN . ESSPECIALLY WHEN IM' DEPRESSED
xxx: GODS' INFINITE LOVE FOR US
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you should feel the love Ken and let it fill you up
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I kind of feel the same way
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and infinite love for people
xxx: REALLY . YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I believe in life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and love
xxx: BUT WHAT ABOUT GOD ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I always had a problem with the biblical account of creation , and Jesus, and sin
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I can tell you though what I believe
xxx: CREATION IS A MYTH . WHEN I SAW JESUS HE DIDNT' MENTION IT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yeah
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I agree
xxx: WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that people sin by having a very wrong sense of power
xxx: DO YOU BELIEVE IN A AFTER LIFE ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: actually,
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I don't really care about that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think the meaning of life is life itself
xxx: I UNDERSTAND
MrSelfDevelopmnt: therefore the full development and growth shoud be the focus
MrSelfDevelopmnt: unlike what has been happening so far
MrSelfDevelopmnt: power has priority over people
xxx: BUT TO WHAT PURPOSE ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: to what purpose?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: life is purpose
MrSelfDevelopmnt: just look around
MrSelfDevelopmnt: look at every plant and animal, look at our wonderful nature, or what is left of it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it is all very purposeful
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that was until man came and messed it up
MrSelfDevelopmnt: with his ignorance and greed
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and hunger for power
MrSelfDevelopmnt: very sad
MrSelfDevelopmnt: even how we grow up
MrSelfDevelopmnt: how unfree, we are controlled, learn for the system
xxx: THERE WAS A TIME WHEN MAN HAD VERY LITTLE INPACT ON THE WORLD
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well..that shure changed
MrSelfDevelopmnt: once we transcended our natural ties with nature
xxx: YEAH WERE LIKE A CANCER TO THE WORLD
MrSelfDevelopmnt: interesting here that this goes together with the bibical account of man being thrown out of paradise
xxx: WE JUST EAT IT AWAY
MrSelfDevelopmnt: cause he ate from the tree of knowledge, he gained conscience
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but how we have used our conscience and free will
xxx: YEAH
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and how we should use it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is what I am talking about
MrSelfDevelopmnt: time to focus on life and people I think
xxx: I UNDERSTAND .
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is how in a small way we can redeem ourselves I believe
MrSelfDevelopmnt: for the mess we have created
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we really don't deserve to live forever on this planet
MrSelfDevelopmnt: cause we just don't understand what life is all about
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we are too busy
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we have develop this world, our environment, but not life
xxx: I THINK THE EARTH CAN DO WITH US BEING HERE. THATS TRUE
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but not for much longer
xxx: I THINK ONE DAY MAN WILL BE EXTINCT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: the last generation being able to live and die of old age might be born now
MrSelfDevelopmnt: absolutely
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we destroy ourselves
xxx: MAN WILL BE SPIRIT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: aliens from other planets must think of us as very stupid
MrSelfDevelopmnt: man will be no more
MrSelfDevelopmnt: machines might take over
MrSelfDevelopmnt: who knows
MrSelfDevelopmnt: al that matters that we have time to make a difference
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and the time is now
MrSelfDevelopmnt: when I was a kid, I was sitting one day at the breakfast table
xxx: OK
MrSelfDevelopmnt: while my dad was reading the paper
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and there was a picture of this poor little african girl
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and I asked my mom very naively, like kids do at times
MrSelfDevelopmnt: how come I am me and not her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it really took a while for me to realize the depth of this question
MrSelfDevelopmnt: so I developed this strong sense of compassion for all the troubles happening to people all over the world
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I found out that we should be very thankful
MrSelfDevelopmnt: for all the things we have
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that we have food
MrSelfDevelopmnt: are healthy
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and whatever bad is happening to us
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it could be always worse
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we could have on leg missing
MrSelfDevelopmnt: or having to search for food in trash cans
MrSelfDevelopmnt: garsh , just imagine living like that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: at least we have a chance
xxx: I LOST MY SON AND IT DONT' GET NO WORST THAN THAT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: most people just struggle surviving
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yeah..that must be tough
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I am so sorry to hear that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: may I ask how
xxx: HE WAS MURDERED
MrSelfDevelopmnt: garsh..that is terrible
MrSelfDevelopmnt: Ken..I realy feel for you
xxx: YES IT DONT' GET NO WORST THAN THAT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: not that it really matters
MrSelfDevelopmnt: still
MrSelfDevelopmnt: he wanted you to go on
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and live out his great memory
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and not to give up on life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: cause someone did something horrific
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you are important Ken
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we need you here among us
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you have a lot of love and goodness to share
MrSelfDevelopmnt: don't let the bad stuff eat you from the inside
MrSelfDevelopmnt: there is goodness in the world
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I know
xxx: I MISS HIM . BUT THE OBITUARY SAID THAT HE WAS SURVIVED BY AND NAMED FAMILY MEMBERS ,IT ONLY SAID SURVIVED BY . IT DIDNT SAY WE WOULD BE HAPPY OR RICH ;JUST THAT HE WAS SURVIVE BY . THAT WAS MY INSTRUCTIONS FROM SOCIETY
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is strange
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but he lives on in your heart..your soul...your mind
MrSelfDevelopmnt: let this give you strength
xxx: HE IS IN HEAVEN
MrSelfDevelopmnt: he is part of you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and he will always be
xxx: MY DAUGHTER SAW HIM IN VISION AND SHE SAYS HE IS VERY HAPPY
MrSelfDevelopmnt: he is right her...with you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: so he needs you to be happy too
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and while it is hard
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I only can begin to understand that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I really can sympathize deeply with what you went thru
xxx: ANYWAY ALL THESE THINGS SHAPE US AND MOLD US .PEOPLE ARENT' BORN MEAN . I THINK PEOPLE GET MEAN BECAUSE THEY WERE HUMILATED IN THERE LIFE AT SOME POINT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: absolutely correct
MrSelfDevelopmnt: very true
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I don't think people are innate evil..they learn to be this way
MrSelfDevelopmnt: thru sociey....cruel conditions....no love in their life...no understanding
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it's very sad
xxx: AND THE HUMILATION JUST MADE THEM MEAN . I WAS HUMILATED AS A CHILD AND IT MADE ME MEAN UNTIL I REALIZED THIS
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I can only begin to understand
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I felt a little humiliated going to school
MrSelfDevelopmnt: kids calling you 4 eyes
MrSelfDevelopmnt: making fun of you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I know..this is only a weak example
MrSelfDevelopmnt: still
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it is wrong
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and we call this normal child behavior
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we need to learn to respect...accept...appreciate and understand one another
xxx: IT DOSENT.' MATTER HOW SMALL THE HUMILATION WHAT MATTERS IS HOW IT EFFECTS THE PERSON
MrSelfDevelopmnt: only then can we make this world a better place
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
xxx: I HOPE I CAN MAKE A DIFFRENCE . I DONT' KNOW .
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yes you can
MrSelfDevelopmnt: be yourself..be alive...be happy....be genuine....that is all it takes
MrSelfDevelopmnt: be loving
xxx: I USE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE BUT NOW IM' AT LOOSE ENDS
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is what we need
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you can get out of it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: start a new
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it is never to late for that
xxx: ITS VERY CONFUSING TO ME . MAKING A DIFFERENCE THAT IS .
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you need to become well on the inside first
MrSelfDevelopmnt: most people try to make a difference by doing things for others, charity..which is great
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think we can make the best difference
MrSelfDevelopmnt: by becoming the most loving
MrSelfDevelopmnt: genuine
MrSelfDevelopmnt: caring
MrSelfDevelopmnt: friendly
MrSelfDevelopmnt: us we can be
xxx: I THINK SO ,I GOT TO GET THE CURE . IM' CLINICALLY DEPRESSED . I HAVE TO GET WELL
MrSelfDevelopmnt: hope I can be of any help
xxx: YOU ARE OF GREAT HELP
MrSelfDevelopmnt: thank you Ken
xxx: I GET POSITIVE FEED BACK FROM SOMEONE WHO IS SUFFERING
MrSelfDevelopmnt: cool
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but I don't wanna suffer anymore.I wann live
MrSelfDevelopmnt: too long I have endured a crappy life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: time has come to make things right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: however hard it is
xxx: THIS IS A HARD TIME FOR YOU . CHRIS SOMETIMES WE GOT TO SUFFER
MrSelfDevelopmnt: time to stand up for yourself
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I already went thur the worst
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I can tell you stories
MrSelfDevelopmnt: when I was so consumed with anger over my wife
xxx: YEAH I BET
MrSelfDevelopmnt: several years ago
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it was the worst
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I was soo immature then
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I have lots of guilt because of that
xxx: YOU WERE PUSHED TOO FAR
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I have done my shares of mistakes
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but I let myself being pushed
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I have learned that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that it was my choice
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I could have just accepted her for who she was
xxx: OH I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN .
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but no
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I had to get anngry over her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: tried to change her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is how I have learned about self-control
MrSelfDevelopmnt: don't even try to control or change others
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it most likely won't happen
MrSelfDevelopmnt: begin by yourself
xxx: I STOPPED TRYING TO CHANGE MY WIFE ABOUT 24 YRS AGO
MrSelfDevelopmnt: whatever is going on around you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: good for you
xxx: I JUST ACCEPTED THINGS
MrSelfDevelopmnt: such a waste of energy trying to change others
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: only then can we live with people on the basis of who they really are
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and not trying to mold them into how we want them to
MrSelfDevelopmnt: nobody wants that
xxx: SHE USED TO DRINK AND I GET UPSET . THEN I JUST STOPPED GETTING UPSET AND LET HER BE
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I wish I could turn back the hands of time
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I would have done it all very differently
xxx: OH MAN SO DO I
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but life is all about learning from our mistakes
MrSelfDevelopmnt: makes us a better person xxx: SOMETIMES THE KNOWLEDGE ISNT' WORTH THE PAIN
MrSelfDevelopmnt: no sense living in the past, hoping..wishing...if I just had done this differently..will not make a damn difference...life is about the here and now
MrSelfDevelopmnt: knowledge is important
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but more important is what we do with the knowledge
xxx: I RATHER BE BLISSFULLY DUMB
MrSelfDevelopmnt: hey
MrSelfDevelopmnt: don't say that
xxx: LIKE ADAM AND EVE BEFORE THEY GOT KICKED OUT OF THE GARDEN
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well
MrSelfDevelopmnt: they were unconscious
MrSelfDevelopmnt: were one with nature
MrSelfDevelopmnt: just like all the other animals
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and you know what happened then MrSelfDevelopmnt: the beginning of man
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and at the same time...the downfall of mankind
xxx: YES
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think there is a lesson to be learned here
xxx: SURE IS .
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yep
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and i want to teach that lesson
MrSelfDevelopmnt: quite an undertaking
xxx: BUT I BELIEVE I AM NOT ACTING ALONE BUT COOPERATING WITH THE INVINCIBLE POWER OF A LOVING GOD
xxx: AND ALSO WITH TRUSTWORTHY HELPERS
MrSelfDevelopmnt: great
MrSelfDevelopmnt: so glad I met you
xxx: LIKEWISE
MrSelfDevelopmnt: swell
xxx: IT GOOD TO TALK THINGS OUT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: time to make a difference
MrSelfDevelopmnt: absolutely
xxx: YOU CAN DO IT
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think that one of the main problem when we grow up
MrSelfDevelopmnt: is that nobody is really talking to us
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that nobody is listening
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we are just bombarded with all this knowledge
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we are indoctrinated, expected to be obedient
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but in a way, our human sprits are broken
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we loose our freedom to be alive
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we become fearful and insecure, and loose our sense of being who we are on the inside |
|