SO ALONE..............

wake up: feel the doors closing in
invisible hands cup a trasparent brain
drinking it down in gulps: warm, fuzzy nectar
only to then shy away from thoughts

enter in: deep as darkness, surrounded by a forest
of false green. tangled in thorny undergrowth i emerge
from a sleep cocoon. no butterfly am i, but
a monster. i would tread trails of calm acceptance
but that path is closed to me; instead i divert
into unknown wilderness, twisted by magical
chants, by things too many time said. my
backbone is the colossus, a mountain in which to
leap from. my head is the abyss where suicides land;
languish in the pain of desire unfullfilled; lament
without voices because the choice took the body away.

without question i know there is light somewhere
and i hide from it.....i live in sand three mattresses thick
here i replace the walls...voids that burn black

i am hungry....i am cold

I'm all alone....so alone

SO ALONE