My Valentines Note to my Friends

(and their replies)

*Valentines Day; 2001*

hi everyone. i hope this valentines day finds you well, and i hope yours was better than mine. I had no valentine this year... which isn't really too incredibally suprising... however i did get a nice little note from one of my friends...

Anyway, an update on my life; i've been having a lot of confrontations with my parents, who never stop yelling at me. my father thinks i'm worthless and shoots down any dream i've ever had. Needless to say, i'm kinda depressed about it... i've been in a 3 week depression or so... but that's not the only reason why. My family actually thinks i'm on drugs because i've been acting so strangely.

Another aspect of it is that my last girlfriend, i really thought was the one i was going to spend the rest of my life with... I guess i'm too sappy as a guy. Anyway, she told me some guy was stalking her and that if she didn't listen to her he would kill her or all her friends, so needless to say i was really worried about her. I was actually, physically sick at the thought of some guy bursting into my house and my having to kill him with a pocket knife. i had VERY graphic dreams about it, and it was quite disturbing. Then she told me that she got raped and was pregnant after she tried to set a trap for him with the cops, in which he was shot death. Then she told me i was smothering her and that she didn't want me to be a father figure for her kid because "when we break up i don't want my child to think its father ran out on it," which hurt a lot. well, in the end, it turned out to be a GIANT lie that she had me and all her friends trapped in the middle of. Then she told me she made out with some other guy just to get me to break up with her. we did, and she's currently in counseling. but don't tell my parents about that. i don't want them to know anything about that. I'm completely stricken with the fear that i'll grow up to have a meaningless life, without a succesful relationship ever... I'm also very afraid of what other people think of me... what they think about me and so on. I'm also annoyed that my car's not done, but that's a minor detail.

I have trouble walking past traffic now without being tempted to throw myself out in front of a car, and my friends, except Alec and Chris C., don't seem to take much of a care to it, and tell me i'm over exaggerating, so i kinda yelled at most of them today, which may have helped them understand it a bit more. I'm16 and on the verge of a nervous breakdown or heart attack or something... i don't want counseling, and i don't want my family to know about what i'm going through, cuz they'd only ground me or something queer and tell me to suck it up. If anyone has any HELPFUL advice, send me a line and I'll see what I can do about it.

Happy v-day. Have a nice night.

WIT

WIT,

YAY your parents FINALLY think you are on drugs, it's HIGH time, no pun intended. My mom and I seriously went through that. And after my last encounter w/ alcohol, I got drunk and called her home from her boy'fs b/c i thought I was gonna die after 2 mikes hard lemonades and 5 shots of vodka, and punking for an hour and a half, she thought I'd do it again the next night and did NOT trust me. I didn't get yelled at but she didn't believe me when i said id never go out and do it again.....not my 1st time drinking either. I took 9 shots of vodka in 10 min.....see everyone get's depressed. I called my mom crying to her 4 nights ago saying how i hate life, that I am fat, and i hate every guy, can NOT keep a relationship b/c all I fucking to is make out w/ guys, find a reason to hate them, then dump them. You WILL find the right person, i thought i found mr right b4 christmas and he transferred schools and hooked back up w/ his ex...killed me. I have my 1st boyf now since like august, even that relationship i was not happy with. But i am now. All of my "best friends" except amy have been sluts, every guy i liked, they had sex with, it was just a wonderful thing. I SOOO Know what you are going through feeling depressed. It's a part of teenage years! We all go through it. That lie ur ex told u was soooooooooo dumb, how could u believe it? Your parents r strict, and I am sooo sorry but they r nice and know what is good for you. Trust me, I went through this, You don't know it yet, but they sooo know what they r doing. NO LIE. My mom and i have a cool relationship right now, no idea how, but we do.........shhhh i drank tonight, that's why this is so fucked up OK well i am going, if u need me, call me, ur rents have my #, good night kid....be good, do well in skewl, peace

ur ##1 cuz

JEssica

Hey WIT,

I hope this wasn't your suicide note, but anyway its all up hill from here WIT. 3 weeks! urgh!

I've had lots of those. You just need to get away from this, lets go bowling or something this weekend. Um.. Some Advice.. take a wooden board and take a bat and just think of all your problems and just beat the shit out of the board for an hour. This has help me out hundreds of times. Or you can write songs, but you say you have writers block.. so just listen to different kinds of other songs and I'm sure something will come to you.

PS- stay away from knives and Asprin

your friend

alec

it's like this: relationships come and go throughout a person's life and with that you need to move on. with your parents, take a stand. don't take something you find completely bullshit! call them on it. if they get pissed, too damn bad. trying to fit in is overrated. if you stop caring you'll find tht people like you more, even though it does sound odd. but it's totally true. i'm popular and i sport Bad Religion shirts and abercrombie pants at the same time. do what you want and you'll be much happier. if you do what you want, people will respect you for you and if they don't fuck em. if you get aggressive find an outlet. i listen to crazy music and play football. if i didn't i'd be locked up for beatin the living piss out of tons of people! hitting a punching bag works too. but take it from me(personal experience) don't punch out a window! that's my bit of advice. but i understand if you thing this is ludicris bullshit and you wan't no part in it. just keep you head and don't do anything stupid(i.e. attempt suicide or self mutilation). l8er man and i hope shit turns out coo.

magers

WIT, you know I look out for you. Hell, I'm like a brother to you in some cases. When your parents shoot down your dreams, they may piss on them, but WIT, DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU! Just use their comments, insults, and all that shit, and use it as an insentive. You use that as something to drive you to that goal. I know you can do it, and damn it, don't give up because your parents treat you like crap. You're one of the toughest guys I know, and this isn't like you, letting your parents get the better of you. WIT, one day, that dream will come true. Regradless of what your parents think. Don't let it get to you. You're better then that, damn it, and I don't want you to kill yourself, or do anything like that. Yeah, you been in some bad relationships, but you'll learn to put what's in the past, in the past. You'll find that special someone.. could be tomorrow, could be when you go to college. You'll find her (or him, but I doubt that you'd do that, lol.), but you have to be on the look out. Don't expect her to come falling into your arms, life's not like that, I know. WIT, one day, you'll look back and say to your parents that you did it, and you did it on your own, without them, and you know what, you'll be happy. Sure, my advice may anger, hell, even piss your parents off, but I don't care. It's about you, not them. You need to not listen to their insults, and I know damn well you can do it. Just don't do anything you'll live to regret, I can't bare losing another person I care about (FRIEND, NOT THAT WAY!).

Joe

WIT... that was the saddest thing I have ever heard, and I thought I was having a bad day! Valentine's Day sucks enough already, and with what you have told me... wow... I think you should talk to someone you trust in great detail about what has happened and hopefully that may help you solve your probs... I would love to help you right this second, but late homework awaits me! I have to finish that right now, but I'll definitely reply with some hopefully good advice later... or maybe we can talk tomorrow? I am having a very bad day... It all started with Drew... that dude I like... I bought him a carnation and a card, and got my friend to give it to him cuz she saw him b4 i did... he didn't even say Happy Valentine's day to me... much less anything else... so I got dissed by him... then Louise and me are having a little feud again, but what else is new... then My friend from Stroudsburg found out that he has Lukemia.... he said that they got rid of it when they found it before, but it's back and worse and there's a very good chance that he might die from it if they can't do anything about it...OMG... I started bawling when he told me that and I just wish he was here to at least try to calm me down... but he wasn't, so I'm still all worked up... I almost burst out in tears today after I got home from school... Valentine's Day is such a depressing day and if I had my way, I wouldn't have had to come to school... Maybe hearing about some of my problems will help you get more happy? Well, i have to go do my homework now... Hope you feel better!

Love you,

Jena

P.S... Don't you ever try hurting yourself in any way! I've lost too many friends and to lose you would just make it a hell of a lot worse... A rose for you for Valentine's day... sorry, I was broke and only had enough money for a few carnations the other day... hope this will make up for it...