Lisa
Ok, it wasn't that bad,
sheesh...I wasn't nearly that hysterical!
Well....ok, so I was, but for any of you who have ever lost an eight
page paper a few days before its due, you understand. At any rate, Erik had no trouble acclimating himself to life on
campus, though I must say we had never eaten so well. (Erik eats about 1 meal a day, and having actual taste, he
decided eating it in the dining hall was not good. We had take-out almost
every night!!) Yes, he was acclimated
and getting bored. What we needed, was
to get Erik something to do other than play on our computers, listen to CDs and
watch movies...
"Tadiama!" (Japanese for 'I'm home!') I exclaimed as I entered the room and flung my backpack on my chair. "What's up guys?"
"Not much." Marie replied, not looking up from her email.
"Well, I shall have to remedy that." I said in my best Scottish accent. (which is pretty good if I do say so myself, and I do!) I proceeded to plop down on the floor next to Erik's chair. He was deep into my copy of Valley of the Horses. "So, Erik, whatcha up to next week?"
He looked up from the book. "Nothing in particular, why do you ask?"
"Well...I was talking to Scott Rawlins today, about his retirement...and he expressed a desire to leave early. Said he had some prospects in New York, but he would never be able to find someone to take over for him for less than half a semester..." I trailed off, looking pointedly at Erik.
"Is this a hint?"
"Astute, slow, but astute! C'mon, you need something to get you out of the room and Doug said he would have no trouble with the references....Please?" I batted my eyelashes at him in my best pathetic sad-puppy look.
Erik heaved a sigh. "Alright, but one question, what does he teach?"
"Scientific illustration, illustration and drawing."
"I think I can handle that, after all, I already took Kate's job." (the voice teacher)
"Cool, I would do the happy dance of joy, but after all those stairs with that..." I pointed to the offending portfolio, "I don't think my legs work."
Ever the gentleman, Erik stood up and ushered me into his chair, despite my protests. (Hey, this guy doesn't listen to anyone's protests)
He proceeded to my computer and sat down. I looked at him quizzically as he opened Netscape. He returned my look. “What? I am checking my email.”
I paused for a moment. “Wait a sec, you don’t have email.”
“Well, actually I was curious about this bookmark section of yours.” He opened the bookmarks and turned to me with an evil grin. “What is this one Lisa…Smut?”
I groaned and blushed slightly. “That’s…um, well, that’s the Phantom Phiction section. You read some of that, you know how bad it is…no need to go further.”
Marie looked up. “Oh no, no, no…he’s not reading that, tell me he’s not reading that.”
I grinned slyly. “Ah, the great Marie Noire afraid of some one reading her work?”
She glared at me. “Um only when the person I’m writing about is the one reading it…besides, remember chapter 4 of Phantom’s Dancer?”
I cringed…that scene was a little graphic. “Um, Erik, maybe you shouldn’t read this stuff…it is a little…er…explicit.” Not to mention that my phic was on the same page!
“My…explicit, I will have to break out the popcorn.” He said grinning as he opened the page.
Marie sighed in resignation. “I’ll get it.”
For the rest of the evening Marie and I averted our eyes from Erik as he scrolled maniacally through every one of the stories. (Again, you couldn’t say he read…he devoured the pages.)
At length he pushed his chair away from the computer and turned off the monitor. “Well…that was illuminating.”
“Oh god, illuminating…is that good or bad?” I stammered, hoping we hadn’t offended him in some way.
“Well, considering that’s Brooklyn’s reaction to Demona in Temptation, I’m worried.” Marie threw a mildly concerned look my way.
“Ladies, I have only one thing to say…I wish…”
After my initial moment of shock I started to laugh, I don’t think I had ever laughed so hard in my life. “That certainly wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.”
He smiled cryptically. ‘What type of reaction were you expecting?”
I looked over at Marie for a save. “I don’t know…Marie what kind of reaction were we expecting?”
“A certain lack of respect for those writing this nonsense.” She offered.
“No…at least you care enough about me to try to give me a happy ending…however improbable such a thing may be.” He explained.
“Don’t start that again.” Marie and I cried in stereo. (Where available)
“Erik for heaven’s sake, you know how popular the musical is.”
“And the books.” I chimed in.
“If they knew you were here, girls by the truckload would be beating down the door.” (Yes, they come by truck now!)
I stood up and assumed my best news anchorwoman persona. “Yes Bob…we have the footage now…women are congregating en mass at Beaver College…no one is quite sure why yet…” I made a show of being handed an update. “Really, thank you Bob…. This just in ladies, the Phantom of the Opera is at Beaver College…and I’m outta here!”
Erik looked at me quizzically (it happens a lot) and then at Marie.
“Don’t look at me, I’m just her roomie.” She defended.
****
Now, I feel the need to tell you folks about having Erik as a professor. Now he's one of those professors that you love and dread at the same time. You have to love the assignments... all very detail oriented (my fave!) but good gods! The grading will knock you on your ass! I think I spent no less than 8 hours outside of class on one of his assignments each week. But, I have to say (or write) in retrospect, that was some of the best work I did in college. Anyhow, a day in Erik's class....
All of us hung our work from the weekend up on the wall for the critique as soon as we got to class. Erik always arrived on time, never early, never late. All of us were sitting at the tables, and the usual before class chatter buzzed through the room. Of course in Erik's class the usual before class chatter involved how hot all of the girls thought the professor was. I tell you, those girls drooled over him like a piece of meat! (Well, I have to admit I did agree with Paula who commented that Erik had a very nice ass.)
Anyhow, the room would quiet down as soon as Erik walked in. Talk about presence! This guy could make a room of loud, obnoxious art majors quiet down with a glance. Erik was hard on us, always demanding we do our best, but unlike some professors, he felt he should point out things we did right as well. (Some professors seem to feel praise would only go to our heads and so, they never use the stuff)
After the critique (during which he always had the uncanny ability of knowing exactly how long you had spent on the project!) he would start us on the new assignment, with minimal lecture. (Of course I still used the lecture time to doodle figure studies of him in my sketchbook) A rarity for an art professor, most feel an hour is the very least it takes to describe a new project. Then we would use class time to start the project.
All in all a good professor, and...a nice view! (Or at least. all of the girls, me included, thought so when he dropped his chalk and had to bend over to get it...that and 'the voice'... whew!)