Lisa
Yeah…that would’ve been…interesting. Anyhow the next few weeks were fun. What was really interesting was when my
folks called and Marie had to tell them I was…ahem…busy. I mean I had mentioned Erik to them but
nocturnal activities aren’t exactly something you email your dad about. In any case…I knew something was up. Erik and Marie had their heads together at
every spare moment and I had the feeling that Erik was nervous about
something. My curiosity was certainly
piqued when Marie spent an entire Saturday convincing me to wear a skirt to
dinner with Erik that night. She
wouldn’t tell me why… just said that Erik wanted to see me in one. After about 3 hours I conceded, I had a
feeling something big was about to happen and I didn’t want to be underdressed.
So whip out the popcorn
and get comfy…something was definitely up…jeez, not that! (Get your mind out of the gutter)
I opened the door, and we were both speechless for a moment, taking in the sight of each other as though we had been apart a year instead of a few hours. Erik was dressed to the nines…full tuxedo, vest, gloves, and cane…every inch a gentleman from the 1880's. The mask was there…a necessity when we went out, I knew, but it still bothered me that he should need it at all. I was suddenly glad Marie had convinced me to wear the skirt, otherwise I would have felt woefully underdressed. Marie had been relentless, and I was thoroughly uncomfortable, but it was worth it when I saw the look on Erik's face. I don't think he had really expected her to convince me.
Erik recovered first and took my hand in his, pressing it to his lips. "You look beautiful tonight ma cherie."
I blushed to the tips of my ears. "I could say the same of you."
He smiled gently, leading me to the car. "I hardly think the word beautiful is an apt description."
I stopped, halfway into the Expedition and turned to him. "I find it a very apt description…" I pulled him close and planted a light kiss on his exposed lips, "…and anyone who says otherwise is a fool."
He offered no reply as he shut my door and went around to his side.
"You never did tell me, where are we going tonight?" I asked over the low music that permeated the vehicle. I saw Erik's lips curl into another smile.
"Actually tonight's meal comes at the suggestion of Bell-sensei." He answered cryptically.
"You asked my Japanese teacher about restaurants?"
"I felt she might be an authority on Japanese cuisine." He explained.
"Oh…too cool, I haven't had Japanese in ages."
He took one my hands in his and squeezed it gently. "I know. I thought perhaps we could have dinner and then perhaps you would like to try my latest attempts at pastry over cappuccino."
"Goodness, and they always said the way to a man's heart was through his stomach…"
"Actually, the best way is through the ribcage…" Erik stated matter-of-factly.
"You know it's a good thing I like smart-asses." I paused a moment and looked critically at his rear. "Well, actually, it's a nice ass, but I've never really thought about its IQ."
"Perhaps you should ask it later…" He replied chuckling softly.
"I think I might. As for desert, stop calling them your 'attempts'! You've already outdone me in cooking, no more modesty!"
"As you wish, would you join me for cappuccino and pastry after dinner?"
"As if you need to ask…of course. Just what I need, caffeine. I'll be up all night."
He squeezed my hand again as we pulled into the parking lot. "Yes you will be." He agreed.
I didn't have time to comment as he got out of the car and came around to open my door. As much as I always professed a big feminist streak, his chivalry never bothered me. Instead I was secretly thrilled when he held doors and pulled out chairs for me. Erik opened the door and helped me out of the rather tall car. (A black Ford Expedition, very tall) Out of nowhere he produced a single red rose and bowing slightly, gave it to me.
I inhaled its scent and brushed the petals against my cheek. Looking up at him I took his hand. "Doomo arigato Erik-san. It's beautiful."
He smiled and linked his arm with mine as we walked toward the restaurant. "Doo itashimashite…but not nearly as beautiful as you."
The night was magic. Erik was so unfailingly romantic that I couldn't remember that I was supposed to be apprehensive about wearing a skirt or speaking Japanese to the waiters.
After a light dinner (sushi is surprisingly light and yet filling at the same time) Erik suggested that the night was perfect for stargazing. I agreed, it was clear and the stars were uncommonly bright. Erik guided the Expedition from the lights of the city and to a hill I had never been aware of. With his help we both climbed to the roof of the car and lay on our coats, gazing up at the stars. Erik, who apparently needed to add astronomer to his list of talents, pointed out the constellations as I lay next to him with my head on his shoulder. We fell into a discussion of the zodiac and why so many people believed in its signs. Erik was theorizing that most zodiac predictions and descriptions were so vague that one could read almost anything into them when the light breeze picked up, making me shiver.
Always the gentleman Erik suggested we leave and warm me with good coffee.
Erik's idea of 'attempting' pastry was to make danishes and cinnamon rolls that would make any baker in the states wild with envy. We sat before the fireplace, I think we sat there more often than we sat anywhere else. Somehow we started talking about my cousin who was getting married. (Ah yes, it was because I had gotten an email from her that morning.) At any rate…she was marrying this young man because she was pregnant. Erik and I were debating whether or not they were doing the right thing.
"My mother did the same thing when she was that age (my cousin is 17) and it brought her no happiness."
"But the boy must take responsibility for his child." Erik asserted.
I nodded, sipping my coffee. "I agree with that, but that doesn't mean they need to marry…if two people are going to get married I think it should be for love not some obligation. He can support the child and be its father without marrying her."
Erik set down his cup. "But can he truly be a father to the child if he doesn't live with it?"
I sighed. "Living with a child doesn't make you a good parent…besides marrying for the wrong reasons, and the messy divorces that follow are much harder on the child. At times I wonder if marriage is even worth it." I commented thinking of my mother and her first two husbands.
"You do not approve of marriage?" Erik's voice was strange but I couldn't fathom why.
How to explain? "It's not that I don't approve of it, it's just that I've seen so many of them turn out badly that I think many people would have been better off had they not married at all. I think that if you are going to marry you should be with someone you really feel you can spend your life with. I'm not a religious person, but I think if you're going to make those kind of vows you should keep them. If you just want to live with someone a while, if you're not sure you can stay with them forever that's fine, just don't get married. Ok, I'm finished with my tirade." I picked up my cup and drained the last of the coffee.
"And those who do love each other? Those who are sure?" His voice was still altered but I thought that was merely a general reaction to my babbling.
"They oughta go for it." I replied offhandedly, setting down my cup.
"Really?"
"Yup!" I said stretching.
"In that case…"
I looked over at Erik, who was kneeling on the blanket looking earnestly into my eyes. He took my hand and pulled me toward him so that I was kneeling too. My heart was pounding in my ears and my mouth was dry…I had never dared dream that I would ever be in this situation, let alone with Erik!
Looking down he released my hand and took something from his pocket. He carefully opened the small velvet box…revealing the ring. Now I mean THE Ring…it was the ring I had been trying to design since I wrote my first Phantom story. It was the ring Erik was to give Anne in the original proposal scene. Somehow he had found the sketches, somehow he had made the ring! It was a golden phoenix with a glinting ruby eye wrapped around a white gold band…the bird's neck and wings made a circle and in that space was a turtle whose shell was made from a very large diamond. 'The Phoenix and the Turtle' was always my favorite of Shakespeare's poems.
I tore my eyes away from the ring to look at Erik.
He took a deep breath. "You and Marie came into my world and with your friendship and acceptance, gave me a new will to live. You have given me more than that, you gave me the courage to love again…the courage to put my soul in someone else's hands…I never really knew love before I met you Lisa…I knew obsession, infatuation and lust, but never true love. It took a stroke of providence, and perhaps a little help from a god who is not as angry with me as I always thought, to bring us together…" Erik paused and I took his hand in mine.
I smiled gently. "Now you're babbling." I teased, squeezing his hand.
He smiled back and found his voice again. "Lisa Marie Platt, I love you…will you be my wife?"
I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm…let me think…." I watched Erik out of the corner of my eye, he was stunned, perfect! With that I launched myself at him and threw my arms around his neck.
After a moment of shock he returned my fierce embrace. "I assume this is a yes?"
I pulled back and laughed. "I would hope so, if I was that enthusiastic with a no, a yes would kill you! Of course I'll marry you my love."
"Then there really is a god." He said as he slipped the ring on my finger.
"Maybe, that or a woman with good taste." I quipped, leaning against him and admiring the ring. "Someone's been digging through my sketch books." I teased.
"I wanted the ring to be something special…you never said how you felt about marriage…and any comments you did make about it seemed to be negative. I…well, I wasn't sure you would say yes."
I looked into his pale blue eyes and saw the tears shimmering there. "Oh, Erik, how could you worry?" I brushed the tears away and kissed him gently.
"After being alone so long…I was afraid to do anything that would change the feeling between us." He whispered.
"You were afraid you would scare me off?" I softly traced the contours of his cheek with my fingers. "Trust me darling, you will never be rid of me."
He smiled through his tears. "Is that a promise?"
"Well, some people would see it as more of a threat."
"If that's what threats and punishments are like in this century, I'm ready to serve my sentence." He declared grandly.
"Good…" I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. "Then I sentence you to a lifetime of hard labor."
"Hard labor?" he managed between kisses.
I slid my hand down to the bulge in his 'otherwise immaculate black trousers' (one of my favorite lines from Marie's phic) "I'd call that hard."
"Ah…hard labor…is that what they're calling it? I suppose we had better begin my sentence then…is there any hope for parole?" He asked as my fingers worked at the buttons of his shirt and his slid under the hem of my skirt.
"Nope."
"Good."
Now…no matter how much Marie bugs me about it, I refuse to constantly share my…well, smut…with the audience, even if they do think this is only phic. I will say that we proceeded to christen one of the few rooms left…a bathtub that big is just asking for it. Later I commented that we still hadn't christened the kitchen…Erik smiled cryptically…that morning we explored the many uses of counter-space. At any rate, it was about noon when I got back to the apartment I shared with Marie. She was sitting in her bathrobe, reading the Sunday comics.
"Tadaima!"(I'm home!) I shouted enthusiastically as I shut the door behind me.
“Yes you are!”
“Huh?”
“Yes, you’re home I can see that. You’re a little late you know…only by about…oh, I don’t know, 14 hours?” Marie said with the sarcasm allowed a person who had just been stood up.
I smacked my head with my hand for dramatic effect. “Ok, I suck…our walk totally slipped my mind.”
“Ah, well…as slippery as your mind is…you wanna tell me what you were doing last night. I mean those clothes don’t exactly look slept in.” She queried with a raised eyebrow.
I flopped down on the couch next to her and stretched…making sure my left hand was plainly visible.
Her eyes followed my hand. “What’s that?”
“A ring.”
“Thank you, I see that.”
I put my hand down so she could get a better view. “Well, the Phoenix is yellow gold and the band is white gold…the eye is a ruby and the turtle’s shell is a diamond…. groovy huh?”
“Well, I guess this is an indication he finally got up the nerve.” She commented.
“You knew about this huh? Jeez, nobody tells me anything!” I cried dramatically.
“Of course I knew about this…for heaven’s sake, I’m the one he came to for proposal advice, cause you know I know how to do that.” She rolled her eyes.
I patted her on the shoulder. “Well, if it’s any consolation, you’re a great tutor.”
“So…what’d he do?”
“Well…first we went to dinner at that new Japanese place downtown…I think the skirt really thew him.”
“I hope that’s in a good way.”
I laughed, “Well, I hope that look he gave me when he saw me was a good one.”
“What kind of look?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I think you would call it the ‘I’d like to lap you up from a bowl look’”
“Oh, that one.”
“Yes…anyhow…then we went stargazing.”
“Aww.” She crooned.
“I thought so…anyway…then it was back to the apartment.”
“Is that what all that moaning I heard was?” Marie sighed dramatically.
I thought about that a moment. “Not unless you have listening devices in the bathroom or the kitchen.”
“Ew! No, you two were just loud!” She exclaimed, probably rethinking ever drilling me for details again.
“Sorry.” I said contritely.
“S’okay, I put my walkman on after the first two times.” She replied easily.
“Huh?”
“I’m teasing!”
“Oh, did you want to hear the rest?”
“Yes.”
“Well, ok then. Remember how I got that email from Wendy about her wedding?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, we were talking about that…you know if she should marry him just because she’s pregnant.”
“Uh-huh.” Marie is a font of vocabulary in the mornings.
“I said people should only get married if they are in love and are sure they can spend their lives together. I think if you aren’t sure you shouldn’t make a vow like that.”
“Yes.”
“Well…then he asks about people who are sure and I said they should go for it…so he did.” I sighed and leaned back against the seat.
“Aww. Sigh. Why can’t someone do that to me?” She asked with a half forlorn, half-dreamy expression.
I clapped her on the shoulder. “You’re next babe.”
“Huh?” she responded intelligently.
“Hey, I’m engaged, it’s your turn now.”
“Right.” She sighed.
****
Erik and I were sitting at the kitchen table in his apartment when we had our first fight. (Yes, I dared fight with the Phantom of the Opera…I didn't win the argument, but that's neither here nor there…perhaps it's in Toledo?) I was making out the guest list for the wedding and he kept pestering me, asking when I would be done.
"Here, I'll read it to you."
"Finally." He said sitting down in the chair across from mine.
I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him before continuing. "Ok, here goes…for my Dad's side of the family we've got of course, Dad. Then there's Jayne, Doug, and Gabrielle. Onto aunts and uncles we've got Uncle Ken, Aunt Sue and their three kids, then there's Uncle Rob and his three girls…do suppose I should invite Aunt Gigi…technically she's not my Aunt any more but she is my cousins' mother."
"Perhaps you should just stick to family to avoid awkward situations." Erik suggested.
"Right, I see your point. Now, we've also got Grandma and Grandma Platt, Grandma's brother, sister and their families…good lord this is gonna cost a bundle to fly them all here." I shook my head, imagining the price tag.
"Well darling…we're not exactly strapped for cash."
"True enough. Now, there's Jayne's folks, her two brothers and their families. Let's see, that takes care of Dad's side. Oh, boy…that's at least 36 people! Anyway, onto the other side...insert ominous music...(Erik gave me an odd look) I'm pretty sure Uncle Mike and Uncle Jim will come. That's four, because Mike will bring Cousin Eris (Named for the Greek goddess of discord) and Jim will bring his wife Cathie. And I'm pretty sure the other Aunt Kathy will come…which will mean her, her husband and the four kids that are still at home. I'm sure Cousin Wendy will come with her husband and their kid. Now, I'm not sure about Grandma and Grandpa…I mean, we haven't even exchanged Christmas cards in two years."
"Well, send them an invitation and see what happens." Erik said helpfully.
I shrugged. "Why not? The worst they can do is say no, right?"
Erik nodded.
"Ok, so that brings the grand total…minus a few folks from school and our maid of honor…. to…oh boy…51 people!" I exclaimed, a little wide-eyed.
Erik cleared his throat.
"What?" I asked, looking up from the list.
"Aren't you forgetting someone?"
"Not that I can think of." I looked over the list…all the family that I wanted to come was there.
"What about your mother?"
I froze…there was no way. "No." I said calmly but firmly.
"Why not? The rest of your family will be there…wouldn't that be a bit rude?"
By this point my hands were clenched under the table so tightly that my knuckles were white. "I really don't care, she's not coming." I was looking down at the table, trying to control my anger.
"Aren't you going to mention it to her…if you don't, don't you think some one else in the family will?"
I looked up at him. "This is my wedding…a happy occasion…I will not have that woman there." (Ok, a little tip, when I speak very calmly, slowly and formally, it's a cue to run for cover)
"She is your mother…"
"I know who she is."
"…if my mother lived I would invite her."
"I'm happy for you." I replied blithely.
"At least send her an invitation, who knows, she might not even come."
"She will come, I know her…she will come. And that is not the sort of thing I want to deal with on our wedding day."
"She's coming." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Really, is that your final decision master?" I drawled sarcastically.
"She will be there."
"She will not be there. I refuse to send her an invitation."
"I'll send her one." He replied easily.
"You don't have her address dear." I said triumphantly.
"I have her email address…not exactly the most polite way to invite her, but better than not at all."
"You would email her and invite her behind my back?" I seethed.
"It won't be behind your back…I just told you I was doing it."
"You will have to do it behind my back, because you are sure as hell not doing it while I'm here."
He grinned. "I'll just wait for you to take a shower."
"I do not want her there Erik." I reiterated.
"She is coming."
"Look at it this way dear…if she shows up…I don't." I stood up, he tried to put a restraining hand on my arm but I shrugged him off roughly. "Now if you will excuse me." With that I left the apartment with surprisingly minimal door slamming.
Knowing I was out of Erik's sight and probably earshot I gave in to a little of the anger building in me. Stalking over to the apartment I shared with Marie, I slammed the door so hard I think the hinges rattled.
"Fuck!" I swore under my breath, kicking my shoes off at the door.
"What are you doing back so early?" Marie asked from the couch.
I was supposed to be having dinner with Erik so my arrival was a bit odd.
"We had a fight." I said as I stormed into the kitchen. I heard the TV click off as I slammed my way through the room.
Marie poked her head into the kitchen. "About what?"
I slammed a glass onto the counter and poured myself some water before I answered. "Let's just say we couldn't decide on a guest list." I put the water pitcher back in the fridge and slammed the door.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
I sighed. "Erik wants me to invite my mother."
"Oh."
"Exactly…needless to say I was not thrilled."
"Obviously you're still not thrilled, don't break my glass." She said looking at the death-grip I had on the cup.
"I won't…I'm going for a walk." I drank the glass of water and left the kitchen, taking a moment to grab my CD player and some reasonably loud music before leaving.
Storming out of the apartment I ran down the steps and stalked toward downtown Glenside. I turned up the sound on my headphones as far as it would go and tried not to think. An hour later I found myself on the Beaver campus in the wooded area where Erik had given me his mask. Realizing where I was, my legs just collapsed. Ripping off the headphones I leaned my head against a tree and let loose a sigh Erik would have envied.
Burying my face I my hands, I did something I hadn't done since the day my mother kicked me out all those years ago…I broke down and cried. Now don't get me wrong, I do cry on occasion, mostly when I'm in pain…but out and out bawling isn't something I usually engage in. It isn't pretty, it isn't dignified, it isn't even cute and pathetic, it's just plain pathetic. But I was alone…in body and spirit…
I don't know how long I sat there, must have been over an hour, before I hauled myself to my feet.
"Good move Lisa…now Marie's really going to pester you…" I commented, wiping my face, which I knew had to be bright red and puffy. I shook my head, instantly regretting it as my headache flared. I could walk around a little more and compose myself before I went home. Maybe I could even pull off not looking like I had spent the last hour sobbing like a three-year-old.