| THE JAKE SITE! |
| (shakey Jake boy with sideburns) |
| How to grow your very own sideburns! You will need: *To be going through / have been through puberty *Not necessarily to be male (although this does help) as long as you can grow hair on the side of your face *A razor of some description *Baby Bio (plant growing stuff) Alright, shave the area you wish to grow your sideys on (this will make the hair grow faster) When there is some growth, apply Baby Bio (plant growing stuff) to make them grow even faster Take the razor and fashion them into a style (if you’re skilled at this and have particularly bushy sideburns you can create all sorts of weird things on the side of your face) Sit back and admire them in the mirror and get ready to be beating members of the opposite sex off with a stick NB: Sideburns need 24 hour care and attention. They need to be well managed and must not be allowed to get too bushy. Sideburns are NOT a light responsibility they need a lot of love and time. Happy sideburn growing facial hair fans! GIRLS, having trouble growing sideburns? ***Well fear not because now you can buy Pink Fish own brand organic sideburns! Guaranteed 100% GM free, Pink Fish sideys ™ use the finest in male pubic hair plucked from public toilets in North Wiltshire and their super glue backing makes them easy to apply and means they last for months! Order now and receive a free 2-day trial pair of moose antlers.*** |