| . |
 |
| My Bloody Valentine 02-14-04 01:18 AM And so here we are, February 14th. According to an article written on the W Network, and heavily promoted on the MSN.com homepage, I should not fret. You see, the W Network understands what it is to be single on a holiday designed for lovers, so they put out a bit of V-Day propoganda to console us. This is how it starts: 10 Best: Valentine Fun for Singles Not long after the emotional turmoil of dealing with the absence of a New Year’s midnight kiss comes the unavoidable certainty that the year’s most stressful singleton’s holiday is imminently approaching—Valentine’s Day. busy They suggest such things as engaging in the virtual ripping up of Valentine cards on a UK fun site; having a girls movie night with such girl power flicks as Thelma & Louise; reminding yourself that you arent the only singleton out there; signing up for an online matchmaking service; and my personal favourite: give blood. Well I dont know about anyone else, but to me pretending to shred greeting cards seems a little...off. Perhaps we should reserve that sites bandwidth for those who would otherwise go out and slash the tires of all the people they ever dated. Girl power movies? They specifically indicate that you should NOT rent sappy love stories...seemingly because this would make you realize that you are in fact not a couple and be inclined to slit your wrists with the cardboard edge of the heart shaped box of candy you had to buy yourself. Remind yourself? Gee...and here I thought I was the only one. At least believing that I am the only single person in the world gives me a good reason to be single. I am simply waiting for one of the currently taken men to divorce so that a spot for me will open up. If it is true that there ARE single men out there, then there is something fundamentally wrong with me. DAMN YOU W NETWORK! You have destroyed my illusion (or dellusion). Online matchmaking. Yup, theres a fabulous idea. Do we really need to go into detail about whats wrong with that? Give blood. HUH? Apparently the thought must be is that you will be so disoriented from the pints of hemoglobin sucked from your body that you will not realize that you are alone on Valentines Day, and lie in a stupor until the 15th. How about this... today I am going to go about my life as though it were any other day...like say Sept 10 or June 15. I will wake up, grab a hot cup of coffee and check my emails. I will phone my best friend in England to catch up on stuff. I will run to the store and buy a new pack of smokes (i am fairly certain i will run out before bed). I have to return a couple of movies (My First Mister - great movie ¾ of the way through, then takes a cheesy turn; and a Michael Moore series on DVD), and I might rent a new one. It may or may not be sappy. I will have a hot bath...not in a fun "personal spa day" way, but in a "shave these legs before people cant tell when im not wearing pants" kinda way. I will probably play around on my computer, as I am wont to do. I might make a nice dinner, or I might make and eat Kraft mac & cheese from the pot. There will be no chocolates...unless I grab some Jr Mints from the video store. There will be no flowers - PERIOD. The jewels on my hands will be the same amber and silver that adorns them 24/7. And I will not feel sad. I will not feel lonely. I will feel like ME. |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |