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Don't Judge a Book By Its Story
- Calantorntain -

A breif history...

I am Christine, and my sister is Julia.  Often when in the car we have our Dad tell stories, and they take place in certain locations.  This one takes place in England, were we are on vacation.  Down were the streets get narrow there is a childrens book store, were you can get a book and go into the story.  Most of the time the Christine and Julia in the story don't know what book they are going into, but the Real Christine and Julia that are listening to the story do.  A while ago I asked my dad to tell a story with Redwall in it.  Here is the result...

One day, Christine and Julia woke up in London, England. Christine looked at Julia and said “Let’s go to the Children’s Bookstore this morning.” Mom and Dad were just waking up, so Christine said “We’re going down to breakfast and then off to the bookstore.” Mom said “Be back in time to go out for afternoon tea. We’re going somewhere special.” Christine said “OK”, and the girls zipped down the stairs. They left the hotel and headed for the subway. They went down into the subway and come up later in the area where the streets get narrow and the buildings are close together. On the corner, they saw the Children’s Bookstore, with the short, narrow door that was only big enough for kids.

They went in and the little bell went “ding, ding”. The little man who worked there looked around from behind a stack of books and said in a squeaky voice, “May I help you?” Christine said, “I’ve been reading a book called Mossflower, and I wonder if you have a copy.” Then little man smiled mischievously and said, “Ah yes, the Redwall books. I have them all.” He climbed a ladder up to the top of one of the bookshelves and said, “Here you go”, throwing down a book. It landed at Christine and Julia’s feet and fell open.

POOF!

Christine and Julia looked around. They were standing in a forest. Christine took a step and heard a small “Squeak” and a crunch. She looked down and lifted her foot Underneath was a small squashed mouse with a broken sword. “Uh-oh”, she said, “That’s not good.”

Overhead, she heard a small voice say, “She killed Martin! Let’s get her!” Christine looked up to see a squirrel aiming an arrow at her. She jumped back and a small arrow stuck in her shoe. Julia said, “Ouch!” as a small rock hit her in the head. She looked around and saw a group of otters with slings. She said, “Christine, what’s that?” as she saw something large running towards them from behind the otters.

Christine said, “It looks like a badger in a blood rage. Let’s run for it!” Julia spun around and ran right through a small house, plowing through the walls and knocking the roof off. A bunch of mice ran out, and as Christine passed by, she reached down and grabbed a small pie tin off a table. “Umm”, she said, “Deeper n’ ever pie”, as she tossed it in her mouth.

They ran quickly through the forest with sound of small shouts and furious activity behind them. Christine saw a small structure ahead of them and said, “Let’s head for that!” It looked like a small castle. The walls were about 4 feet high. Christine reached it first, grabbed the top of the wall and threw herself over. She her a snarl and a crunch as she landed.

Julia clambered over the wall and saw Christine standing on what looked like a large dead cat in royal robes. Around her inside the wall, a bunch of foxes, weasels and stoats were dropping swords and weapons and frantically running away. When they saw Julia, they doubled their efforts, and ran out the main gate right into a huge gang of grief-stricken squirrels, otters, moles, badgers and mice. The battle was short, as the shocked, fear-crazed castle troops ran blindly through the vengeful forest horde.

As it started to quiet down outside the walls, Christine stuck her head up and said, “Sorry”, and then ducked back down again as a hail of arrows and stones sailed over the wall. “Ouch”, said Julia, picking arrows out of her clothes and arms. Christine tried again. “All of your enemies are dead and you can have the castle”, she cried out. There was the sound of many small arguments outside the walls. Julia chimed in, “Otherwise, we’ll come out there and pound you!”

That seemed to do it. A voice called over the wall, “OK, you can leave quietly, as long as you don’t demolish any more homes or squash anyone else.” Christine yelled back, “We agree.”

So Christine and Julia carefully crawled back over the wall and tip-toed through the apprehensive creatures who cleared a path for girls, weapons trained on them the whole time. As they reached the end of the crowd, they just had time to see a small litter bearing a squashed mouse and a broken sword when ..

POOF!

They were back in the Children’s Bookstore standing next to the book called Mossflower. “Have a nice trip?” the little man piped. Christine said, “Maybe next time you can make us a little smaller.” The little man chuckled delightedly and said “Perhaps. But now it’s closing time.”

Christine and Julia left the Children’s Bookstore. Christine looked at Julia and said “Were you really about to pound them?” Julia said “Sure. If we could do that much damage by accident, no telling what we could do on purpose. But I’m definitely wearing heavier clothes and safety glasses if I go back”, as she pulled another arrow out of her shirt.