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Birth of an Avenger
- Rustiredd -

I don’t know what I did to deserve such a fate.

I would tell you my name, if I knew it. I have been here for as long as I can remember. This castle is my prison, the creatures within are my captors.

I’m not very old at all, but I feel as if I have lived for much longer, under this torment.

The stoat is sitting on his throne in the main hall of the castle. He is glaring down at me, wearing that evil smile I have come to fear so much.
"Why’re you doing nothing, squirrel?"
I know what is coming, yet I kneel before him as I have always had to. The manacles around my footpaws are rattling loudly.
"Master Soless, I have not been given a duty to perform."
The many creatures in the hall are sniggering at my small reply. The rats, stoats, ferrets and weasels, all armed, and all evil. I am Soless’s only servant. He has plans to steal more soon. I am keeping my head low, and hoping for the near impossible. Alas, it is in vain, and I know it. Soless has never been a merciful creature, his full title is Soless the Sadistic. He smirks at me.
"Yes you have. You were told to sweep the floor until it was clean."
I have swept the floor numerous times. It couldn’t be cleaner. But I know that my master is only looking for an excuse to satisfy his hunger for suffering. He is leaning down and sweeping his paw across the floor, looking at it critically. But it must be spotless. It must.
"This is hardly at it’s cleanest. You have been slacking, squirrel. You know the penalty for that."
He is nodding his grinning head into the crowd of smirking creatures, and a ferret is walking forward. How I hate that ferret Nerrok. They say that he was the one who had brought me here when I was merely a babe. He is cracking his whiplash gleefully, and now I must brace myself for the terrible pain that I suffer so often.

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

I can hear myself screaming as the lash strikes my unprotected back. Again and again. I’m trying to keep count through the pain, the crack of the whip, my anguished protests and the jeers of everybeast present, of how many lashes I have taken, but it is impossible. It seems an eternity, but Nerrok has finally given the tenth strike. I can feel the blood running down my back. The lash cuts sting abominably, the tears blur my vision. I can hear the delight in Soless’s voice.
"You should be thankful that I am in a leniant mood today."
And I am thankful. If it had been the stoat himself with the whip, he wouldn’t have stopped at ten. I can remember the last time he had been in a bad mood. It had been many days ago, yet his temper had been so great that I still sport the bruises and cut scabs now, among various others. He is continuing.
"You will have to clean this floor again. Use a wet cloth too this time, to get rid of all this blood you’ve spilt."
"Yes, master." Bowing my head, I stand shakily, taking a sharp breath as the cuts sting again. Nerrok seems to have hurt me more than he usually does. Wiping away my tears, I get to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is night time, arguably the most dreadful part of my day. It has taken the whole remainder of the daylight to clean the floor to my master’s satisfaction, because the others had thought it fun to dirty the floor with food, drink and other things. Without any sort of poultice, the blood from earlier has dried on my back and encrusted my fur. I am grateful for this, because it has provided a makeshift bandage of sorts, preventing further blood loss. Soless is gloating at me.
"You look in a messy state. That is what you get for lazing about. It’s dark outside, so you can retire to your cell for the night. Nerrok, take him to his cell."

No, not Nerrok. Please, not him. To take a "disciplinary" beating every night is bad enough, but Nerrok puts special effort into causing me harm. He slaps me on my lashed back so hard that I fall to the floor, feeling the blood running again, the tears welling up again. Hauling me roughly up by the scruff of my neckfur, he is sneering,
"Cummon, yew. Yer wanna get some sleep, don’t yer?"
He is dragging me painfully toward the staircase by my scruff, so I have to keep my head bowed. Down the stairs, and he throws me into my cell. I hate my cell, the four walls, the bench chained to one, and particularly the old blanket I have to use to try to keep me warm at night. It’s cold and damp and dirty, but there are worse things, like the clenched ferret paw flying at me....

Crack!
"Ow!"

It is amazing that I haven’t fallen down, that punch was vicious. I clamp my paws to my nose, tasting blood.

Wham!

I. . .I can’t breathe! He has hit me in the stomach, I feel nauseous. I collapse to the ground, fighting for air. I can hear Nerrok as if from far away.
"Ah, don’t be such a wimp, squirrel. I’ve hurt you worse before."
Arguable. I don’t think Nerrok has ever taken so much pleasure in hurting me, and it has only been two strikes.

"No more, please! Please!"

I am begging and pleading, for he has his whip in his paw again. I know that my protests are useless, but the pain is too much to bear.
"Stop yer whinin’." I can hear him spit. "The more yer beg, the more you’ll get."
"Ouch! Ow! Aaaaaaaaaahhh!"
I am screaming and whimpering under the whip. But I’m not objecting. I can’t. I want it to be over, for another night at least.

The pain has subsided a little. I realise that it is because Nerrok has stopped flogging me. He has opened up old wounds and made new ones, but I’m not complaining. He has stopped, and I don’t want him to continue.

"Now get some sleep, ‘cause yer gonna need the strength tomorrer. There’s more where that came from, as yer know. Heh heh heh!"
I can hear the cell door closing, the bolts clanking. I feel sick from the beating, Nerrok’s beating. If it had been the cell guard, it wouldn’t have been as bad. Staggering upright, I fall onto the bench, pulling the damp blanket over my bleeding back. The dampness stings more, but at least it will help the cuts to heal faster. Not that I care, for they will only be opened up again on the morrow. I wish that I could just go to sleep now, and never wake up again......

Ouch! Something is digging into me. I take it. It’s a big splinter from the bench. An idea has struck me. It is daring, but whichever way it goes, the pain will end, either by death, or other means.

I force myself to sit up. Digging my worn and broken claws into the damp wood of the bench, I break off several large chunks of wood. One of them sticks into my paw, but a few more drops of blood makes no difference. I turn to the wall behind me and begin rubbing the wood against the stone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am so tired, but I must stay awake. I have finished with the wood chunks, they now have sharp points. They will do a lot of damage if they are used as a weapon. I have spent all night throwing them at deep cracks in the wall. I think that I have learned well, to say that I have had only a night’s practice. I try to not trip over my manacles as I walk over and take the five wood splinters from the wall.
I can hear the guard arrive, meaning that it is dawn. I clutch the splinters tightly. It is now or never.

The weasel guard is opening my cell door, motioning with his spear.
"Cummon, squirrel. Yer wanted."
I summon up all my strength and cast one of the splinters. It catches him in the cheek.
"Ow! What the heck?"
I must finish him. If I do not, he will kill me. I lunge as best I can at him, and drive a splinter into his throat. He gurgles as he falls to the floor, dead.

"What have I done?"

My voice sounds small as I look down at the guard. I have killed him, taken his life. But suddenly, this feeling of wrongdoing has been replaced by one of . . . of. . .I don’t know what, but all of a sudden, I do not care for the guard. He has beaten me many times, and now he has gotten his reward for it.

I reach down and take the keys from his belt. One of these is to my manacles. Trying them all, I find the correct one. The manacles fall away from my bruised ankles, and the tears flow again. I can never remember a time without the unforgiving chains. I force the joyful tears down, it is not the time for celebration yet. I pick up the first splinter, but I can’t bring myself to take the other one from the guard’s throat. I sneak up to the top of the stairs, to the entrance to the main hall, but I can’t go in there! Soless is in there, with almost everybeast in the castle. Almost everybeast......

"Hey, squirrel!" Somebeast is shouting. "What’re you doin’?"

I can’t stay here. I must go. Before I know it, I am in the hall, racing across for the door. I must get there, it is the only hope I have of escaping.

"Get back here, squirrel!" Soless yells. Through instinct, I almost obey, but I quickly gather my wits. I manage a shambling leap past the startled creatures, and get through the door. The dawnlight almost blinds me.

"Get the slave, you fools!" I can hear Soless bellowing. A new sense of urgency envelops my senses. I try to run, but a life in chains has given me unnaturally small paces, and I lope more than run. I lope to the forbidding outer wall. I have heard tales of the squirrel species’ natural climbing skill, and I hope I have it also. Dragging myself up the wall, I have realised that it is easier than I thought it would be. I reach the top quite quickly, just as Soless and many others reach the bottom. He is yelling at several creatures.
"Get to the gate and go outside, stop him getting down!"

I must get down from the wall before the others get outside. It is harder to climb down than up, but I manage it, and I lope as fast as I can away from the castle. I can’t stop, I don’t want to go back there. Freedom is in sight. I feel weak, sick, but I must keep running.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It. . .it is past noon. I haven’t stopped running for a second, but as I reach a pool of water, I feel I can run no longer. I collapse to all fours and throw up, using ever more energy. I retch and gag, but finally it is past. I crawl to the pool’s edge, and splash some water into my open mouth to wash away the awful taste, and replenish a tiny part of my strength. I can see something in the water, something I used to see in the puddles when I cleaned in the castle. They call it a reflection, a picture of myself. I look terrible, dried blood covering my face. Are there ripples in the water, or is my vision blurring? I need to lie down, just for a moment.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can feel my senses return, through a sea of dazedness. I must have fallen unconcious. I do not feel well, I am dizzy, hot and sick, and I ache all over. I am laid on my stomach, not on grass anymore, but what feels like cloth. I keep my eyes closed, but I can hear voices. They’ve caught me, I know they have. I can feel a paw on my forehead, so try in vain to curl up, to guard against the whip, which I know will strike at any second.
"Don’t hurt me, master. I’m sorry for running away. Please, have mercy."
The voice I hear in reply is not one I expected. It’s a gentle, female tone.
"Shhh, little squirrel. You are safe among friends. Keep still, and rest."
I dare not open my eyes, but I lay still as the voice said to. I instinctively flinch as a wet cloth is placed on my back.
"This will hurt. It has a special remedy on it. It smarts, but it will help you to heal."
The voice is right, it hurts like fire. I cry out, the pain is so bad. It seems like an age before the pain even begins to ebb. Another cloth is put on my brow. I open my eyes slowly, but I can’t see properly. I can just make out a figure pushing something toward my mouth.
"Drink some of this water, it will make you feel better."
I try to get some down my parched throat, but most of it splashes out of the bowl it is in. I splutter and cough the rest back up. My vision is clearing ever so slightly, and I make out the bowl being placed next to me.
"Rest now. Try to drink again, when you can."
I can hear pawsteps fading, and the voice speaking with others, a female and male.

"You did well to get me when you did. Any more time, and he may not have survived."
"What could have happened to him?"
"He is covered in whipmarks, and his ankles are bruised as if they were chained. I’d say he has been in slavery for quite some time."
"Slavery? Surely not, no creature could be so cruel!"
"A naive thought, by the look of all that blood on him. Will he get better?"
As exhausted sleep closes in on me, I can hear part of the first voice’s reply.
"He will need a lot of rest, and won’t be fully healthy for some...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up again, and find my vision to have cleared. The nausea has also passed, and I feel a little stronger. I look around at my surroundings. It is a plain room, all walls are stone, and the ceiling is made of straw, wicker, I think they call it.

I stand shakily, to find that I have been bandaged around my middle, across my back, and on my ankles. I pick up the bowl from where it has been placed and drink a few mouthfuls of the water, then near-stagger through the doorway. I can see four creatures, a white female, and a male, female, and infant male, all brown furred and presumably a family. The white one walks towards me.
"I trust you are feeling better after my medicines?"
"Yes ma’am, thank you ma’am."
She introduces herself and the others.
"I am Ferra the healermouse. These here are Derun, his wife Seyred and their son Terrem."

A mouse. I have heard of such creatures. But Ferra looks a little different to the others, and not just in fur colour. I ask the one called Derun,
"Are you a mouse also, sir?"
He seems shocked by this. I hope he isn’t going to hit me.
"Don’t say you’ve never seen a vole before, lad?"
It doesn’t look as if he will hurt me, but I apologise anyway, bowing my head.
"I am sorry sir, but this is the first time I have met any species that aren’t rat, ferret, weasel or stoat."
"My goodness!" Seyred gasps.
"I did say it was a possibility." Ferra says to her. She turns to me.
"So, what is your name?"
I wish I knew.
"I don’t have one, ma’am."
"By the fates!" Says Derun. "The vermin have really been mistreating you."
"Vermin, sir?"
I have not heard the term before.
"Aye, lad. Creatures such as those who’ve kept you prisoner are scum, and us decent beasts call them vermin."
Vermin. I must remember that. Seyred takes my paw.
"Kept in such terrible conditions, I’ll wager that you have never had a proper meal."
"No ma’am."
She is smiling, although she has tears also.
"Then you will."

But....surely....?

"You mean I don’t have to wait for scraps?"
"Why, of course not."
I am amazed. I have gone hungry many a night, sometimes not even getting any scraps because so many of the creatures - the vermin - ate so much meat, which I cannot stomach. Derun is pointing to my easily visible ribcage.
"We’ll soon fatten you up, lad."

Ferra is helping me to the door.
"I’m sorry that I haven’t managed to clean you up properly yet. You can have a wash in the pond, and I will get you some clean clothing, before you eat. Come on, I won’t bite your head off."
They all take me to the pool of water I saw earlier.
"I’m supposed to get in there, ma’am?" I ask hesitantly. Ferra nods.
"Why, surely you do not want to stay covered in blood and dirt?"
She is right, of course. It has been weeks since I had a "wash". I say wash, but it was really work in a rainstorm. I breathe in sharply, the water is cold. It is refreshing, though, and the blood and grime is soon gone from my body. After I am clean, I get out. The others are there, and Ferra gives me a barkcloth towel. When I am dry, she gives me something.
"Here is a clean tunic. I think you will like it somewhat more than the rags you were wearing."
I put the brown tunic on. It is a soft fabric, and very comfortable.
"Thank you, ma’am."
The little one Terrem looks at me.
"It’a ches’nut an’ rusty, brown an’ red."
He must mean the contrast between my tunic and my fur. I look at my fur closely. It is red, more red than I’ve ever seen it because of the cleanliness. Terrem asks me,
"You’s a really rusty reddy squiggel. C’n I call you that?"
I don’t understand what he means. Seyred reprimands him.
"Don’t be silly, Terrem. How can you call a creature that?"
The little one puts his head to one side.
"I can if’n I makes it shorter, like Rusty Red. Or you c’n make’t to one name, like Rustiredd."
"Of course you can’t."

Rustiredd?

"With all due respect, ma’am," I say to Seyred. "I would be honoured to have a name created by one who is as innocent as your son, untouched by the horrors I have endured."

I touch a paw to my face and realise that I am crying.

"To finally have a name, an identity, it is a dream come true!"

I look up and see that Ferra and Seyred are also close to tears. Derun pats me on the shoulder, obviously wanting to avoid hurting my back.
"Well, if you like that name, you c’n have that name. I’ll bet that you’re goin’ to need a bit o’ grub, so let’s get you back, Rustiredd."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we get back, I am bade to sit at table, something I have never done before. They also sit to eat. And the food! Honestly, I have never seen nor smelt anything so good. They recite a little rhyme, the grace, I believe, and begin to eat. The taste is overwhelmingly good, I have never tasted anything like it. It is not long before I finish eating, and I thank them for the meal. They are staring at me for some reason. Have I done something wrong?
"Aren’t you hungry, Rustiredd?" Ferra asks me.
"I am, ma’am." I reply.
"Then why do you leave so much food?"
I look down at my plate. It is indeed still very full.
"That is how much I normally eat, ma’am. If I have offended you, I apologise."
"Of course you haven’t offended me. I was just wondering why you have not ate it all. It is all yours."
"It is?" I ask in disbelief.
"Why, yes. Now please, eat up."
Wow. All this lovely food for me. It certainly won’t take me long to eat it all, hungry as I am.

As I finish my meal, a thought strikes me. I ask a question, dreading the possible answer.
"Ma’am, why are you doing this?"
Ferra looks at me, obviously puzzled. "Doing what?"
"Why are you treating me so kindly? Why do you feed me, clothe me? I have done nothing to deserve it. Surely, if I deserve anything, it is a penance for these things you have given me."
They seem stunned. Derun asks,
"What do you mean by penance, lad?"
I reply honestly.
"Labour. Work of some sort. Maybe a whipping, that is the normal punishment."
I flinch as Derun takes me by the shoulders. Is he going to punish me?
"Listen, Rustiredd. I know it wasn’t your intention, but now I’m rather insulted."
"I’m sorry, sir." That’s it, he’s going to hit me.
"Forget the apology, just listen. You’ve been raised by vermin as a slave, and those vermin are the only beasts you’ve ever known. But not all creatures are like them. We certainly aren’t. We took you in because we consider ourselves to be good and kind. We need nothing in return, except for you to follow this one piece of advice. You aren’t a slave anymore, so stop acting like one. Think for yourself. If you want to survive in this world, you’ll have to learn that nobeast is your master. I’m not, and the vermin aren’t anymore, either. None can tell you what to do anymore. You aren’t forced to offer penance for something, unless you consider it necessary. Think about it."
I am in tears now as it finally hits me. I’m not under a warlord’s rule anymore. I am free. It is something I have always dreamed of, but now I have it, it is scary and confusing. The depths of this unknown world almost make me wish I was back in the castle. Almost. Derun says something about resting, although I am too deep in these emotional thoughts to hear him properly. He points me through to another room, and I trudge through without a word, and sit on the bed inside, wondering just what I’ve gotten myself into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I open my eyes to bright morning sunlight. I am slumped on the bed, I must have fallen alseep while thinking - I was tired - and somebeast had covered me with the blanket. I awake to voices in another room. These voices are harsh and menacing, like those in the castle. Surely they haven’t found me?
"Givvus all yer food an’ valubles!"
"Yeah, ‘cause if yer don’t the liddle un dies!"
I also hear Ferra, Seyred and Derun protesting, and Terrem crying. They must mean him as the little one. I would like to think that murdering one so young would be an idle threat, but I know from experience tha such a terrible deed is not beyond them. A creature suddenly walks into the room which I am in. It’s a ferret. How I hate ferrets. He sneers, and calls through to the other creature.

"‘Ey, Scarpaw, we got a skinny squirrel ‘ere!"
A skinny squirrel? They must not be from the castle, they don’t know I’m from there. A rat walks in holding Terrem, a knife at his throat. It is truly a disturbing sight. I would prefer it to be me rather than the small volebabe. I want to do something, but I would not stand a chance against them, I know I wouldn’t. Then Derun’s words hit me. I must think for myself. I am not a slave anymore. I stand, and try to tell them in a small voice to let Terrem go, but before I even start, I am clouted across the face by the ferret and knocked backwards onto the bed. He laughs.
"Well, this’n certainly ain’t no warrior."
I hear voices yelling at me, feel invisible forces willing me to do something.

Think for yourself, you aren’t a slave anymore. Nobeast can tell you what to do.....

I get back up. I’ll probably go crazy if I don’t. The ferret sniggers.
"Some creatures jus’ don’t geddit."
He hits me again, and it hurts, but I force myself to try and hide the pain. I must do so for Terrem’s sake. I try to put on what I think might look like a defiant face, and it seems to work. The ferret seems to lose some of his confidence. I freeze when he pulls a dagger on me.
"You’re a bit too brave fer my likin’."
Just as I think that he’s going to kill me, Derun hits the rat, who had been watching me, over the head with a small club, knocking him out. The ferret turns around and snarls, diving at Terrem, but I can’t let him kill the babe. I grab the ferret’s neck from behind and squeeze as hard as I can. He gurgles and thrashes, but he can’t reach me because I’m behind him. He falls to the floor, but I keep strangling him. I want to make sure he’s dead. Dead so he may never threaten any lives again. I have nothing more on my mind than to just keep strangling. I hear Derun faintly, telling me to let go, the ferret is dead, but I can’t let go. He might not be dead, and I know what an armed ferret can do when he’s angry. Derun prises my white-knuckled paws from the ferret’s bruised neck, shouting into my face to get my attention.
"He’s dead! Let go, he’s dead!"
I let go, and slump on the floor, sobbing, "I had to do it! What if he had gotten Terrem?"
Seyred crouches beside me and takes my paw.
"Hush. You have done a very brave thing. You have saved the life of my son, and us all. What can I do to repay that?"
"You can do nothing." I say, calming down slightly and remembering Derun’s words. "To have saved a young one is a reward in itself."
Derun looks up, smiling. "There you go, what did I say? You’re thinking for yourself already. You’re a warrior in the making, you know that? To do something like that is very brave."
A warrior? I am no warrior, but I thank him for the compliment.
"Thank you, sir."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is ten days since the ferret and rat arrived. I have grown stronger all the time, and found from Ferra that I am really stronger and more agile than a lot of my kind, because of the heavy work I have done all my life. I have also been thinking about what had happened when I had hidden my fear, pain, and just about all other emotion when I had stood up to the ferret. He had lost a lot of confidence, maybe he had even been cowed a little by my silent defiance. This had also proved true two days ago when we were all at the pond. Two rats had arrived, very cocky indeed. I had used my emotionless exterior, and they had actually been frightened of me. Something I never dreamt of happening. Now, I stand before Ferra, Seyred, Derun and Terrem. They ask me once again,
"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Rustiredd?"
I nod.
"I have found that I have the power to make a difference. There are creatures out there, good creatures, who are suffering just as I have. I will travel the land, helping them. Nobeast must suffer as I have."
"You’re a good an’ selfless beast, Rustiredd." Says Derun. "The vermin themselves have moulded you into their own worst enemy. Give it time, you will be a reknowned warrior, feared by all evildoers. I promise you that."
Seyred gives me something.
"Here. This isn’t much, but it is all I can give you for your journeys, along with our advice."
It is a cloak, a black cloak.
"It belonged to my father. He was a traveller."
I put it on. It billows around me in the breeze like a cape.
"Thank you. I am honoured."

I make my emotional goodbyes, not least to Terrem.
"I’ll miss you, Terrem. You gave me a name, the greatest thing I have ever had."
The volebabe waves a paw.
"You’s be careful, Rustiredd."
I smile, almost sadly due to my departure.
"I will. I promise."
And so, I take my first steps into the world, often turning back and seeing Ferra, Seyred, Derun and Terrem stood outside their home. The tears of regret spring into my eyes. I don’t want to go, but I must. I wave a last goodbye, and run as fast as I can away from that place of kindness, towards the woodland in the distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, here I am. I stand in a high branch of an elm in the woodlands, my cloak billowing around me. I have a purpose now. I am Rustiredd, I must help others that suffer hardship from evil creatures. But to do that, I know I must change further. I must lock away my emotions, not show fear, compassion or mercy. From what I have seen in my life, I have learned that they are points of weakness, and that an enemy will exploit them. It will be hard, and I don’t want to do it, but I will, for it is the only way. The only way to achieve my purpose. Maybe one day I will be able to return to Soless’ castle, but until then, I will fight for what is right.

For I must.

I am Rustiredd.

I am an avenger.