So you want to know how to take over the world. Though many have tried and failed, I have the perfect formula for success. It may seem hard, but in fact it isn't as complicated as you might think. With the right tools and by following these steps, you can take over the world in just a few short years. Before you start, there are a few personality traits that you need to have. If you aren't charismatic, stop reading here. If you get emotionally attached to anything easily, stop reading here. If you don't like attention, stop reading here. Finally, if you consider yourself mentally stable, stop reading here. For those of you still reading, congratulations. You can take over the world.

To begin your quest for world domination, you first must understand the rules. Yes, there are rules to taking over the world. First off, no matter how much power you have, your mother can still send you to your room. Don't get egotistical around her. Second, the death sentence is only for people who disobey you and for public exhibitions to instill fear. You can't kill your little sister just to get the television remote. The third rule is at no time during your pursuit of world domination shall you even begin to think about turning back. Everything else is up to you.

Now that you understand the rules, it's time to begin scheming. The first step is to create a plan. Previous attempts at dominating our planet failed mainly because of a lack of strategy. Napoleon had no plan and Stalin only had a five year plan. They got nowhere. What you need is a ten year plan! Your plan must include the following: order of countries to take over, rate of nuclear weapon production, and list of people to die when you have power. Once you have those planned out, it's all downhill.

The second step might seem hard, but it really isn't. Start accumulating power. You can do this in many ways. Talk to everyone. Establish trust. Don't let anyone be angry at you. Someone who is angry at you won't support you and can tell other people not to support you either. Some suggestions for gaining power are: always agree with the person you are talking to, do everyone favors so they owe you something, and get a spot on an episode of Oprah. It might take upwards of seven or eight years to gain enough power to start the next step, but it will be worth it.

Now that you have power and a plan, it's time to put them together. This is the step that separates the mentally unstable from the extremely mentally unstable. The third and final step in taking over the world is to demonstrate your power and eliminate the opposition. Anyone with more, equal, or slightly less power needs to be done away with. Powerful countries that might try to stop you need to see just what you can do. If you like sushi, bomb Japan. If you like well-done steaks, bomb Africa. If for some strange reason, you enjoy a delectable kangaroo, go ahead and bomb Australia. If you can't make up your mind, pull out a world map and play darts. It doesn't matter too much, as long as everyone knows that they will die if they don't follow you.

1.	Trust is very important and valuable.
2.	Lies can get you farther than the truth.
3.	Don't sell anyone else nuclear weapons.
4.	Brainwashing is easier than it sounds.
5.	Finally, do not at any time show mercy to anyone.

Now you are ready to start your expedition for world domination. If you remember everything you learned from this, success is guaranteed. Don't forget to follow the rules and listen to the tips I gave you. The list is very important in any industry if you want to be successful. Use it wisely. I wish you good luck and may many gruesome deaths come of your sovereignty.