“Awa...
Aunt Daisy, don’t you know, Jess ain’t...”
“Isn’t,”
Daisy cut in, as she took a deep breath and brushed the hair back from her
eyes.
“Isn’t...afraid
of anything,” Mike said. His face
beamed at Jess who had just re-entered the kitchen after having ejected a
rather ugly looking critter. Much to
Daisy’s relief, he had thrown it outside the kitchen door with his usual quick
efficiency.
“There
ya go, Daisy, it’s gone,” Jess smiled
and patted her comfortingly on the shoulder.
“We
all have our fears, Mike dear. Mine is
spiders. Horrible hairy brutes,” she
said and shivered. Jess and Mike smiled
at one another, suppressing the giggles that would come later and out of
Daisy’s sight. “Even Jess, he just
doesn’t know what it is yet. But he
will, when he comes face to face with it one day.”
Those
words rang in Jess’ ears. Had it been
so long ago that Daisy had uttered them?
He was standing in the doorway of the house with his morning coffee and
watched as Mike and Chuck hitched a new team to the stage. Chuck was the driver who had taken Mose’s
place when Mose retired a few years back.
It
seemed like just yesterday that Mike was running around and getting into mischief,
and Jess with him. Poor Daisy what a
time they had given her. Now Mike was a
man full-grown and doing a full day’s work on the ranch. Daisy would be so proud. Jess looked up at the hill where Slim’s Ma
and Pa were buried and where they had laid their Daisy, at her request. She said she wanted to be able to see “her
boys” and keep an eye on them. Jess
smiled, that was just like his Daisy.
“Jess. Jess, you there?” Slim called from the front bedroom. As he entered, Slim was trying to prop himself up on crumpled
pillows.
“Wait,
Slim, let me help you.” Jess reached forward and took Slim’s arm and helped him
to sit up. He then punched up the
pillows, grabbing another from his own bunk so that Slim could sit up slightly,
but lay back comfortably supported.
“How
are you feeling this morning?”
“Could
use some coffee, if you’ve left me some, that is,” Slim smiled, mischievously.
“Yeah,
yeah, go on, give the poor nurse-maid a hard time,” chided Jess as he strode purposefully
out into the kitchen.
“Medicine
first,” taunted Jess with a rueful smile, as he came back in with a small spoon
and bottle in one hand, and coffee in the other. He set the coffee on the nightstand beside Slim’s bunk.
Slim
looked at Jess. He had never told Jess
but he loved that smile, it was a special smile reserved only for those Jess
cared for. It made you feel good all over, no matter how bad you were actually
feeling. ‘He’s trying hard not to show
it, but he looks tired,’ Slim thought to himself.
“Something wrong, Slim?” asked Jess, as he
held out the spoonful of elixir.
“No,”
replied Slim.
“Then,
why you staring?”
“I’m
not.” Slim suddenly realized that he had been, and just as suddenly felt his
cheeks flush.
“Yes,
you were,” Jess said.
Slim
ended the awkward moment by taking the offered medicine. He then grabbed the
coffee-cup and took a large mouthful and swallowed quickly, so as to expunge
the ‘god awful taste’ as he had described it the first time Jess had
administered it.
“There’s
a good boy.” Jess patted Slim on the arm, still smiling.
Slim
reached for the pillow behind his head to hit him with but suddenly, and
without warning, he started to cough, and badly. Jess moved quickly behind him, and sat Slim up and pounded him
gently on the back. Slim coughed and
retched until at last he had coughed up several lumps of thick brown mucus into
the small bowl that Jess held ready in front of him. Jess gently laid him back, placing a cloth over the basin and
returning it to its place under the bed.
He would empty it later.
“You’re
hot again,” he noted, his hand gently resting on Slim’s cheek. The smile gone, replaced by concern for his
friend.
“Nah,
I’m fine, just need a minute then I’ll finish my coffee.” What he wasn’t telling Jess was that his
chest felt like it had a sack of potatoes pressing down on it. He knew it wouldn’t be long now...
Slim
sipped his coffee carefully this time.
Jess sat on the edge of the bunk, the worry evident on his face. Slim’s hand snaked out and touched Jess’
knee. “I’m alright,” he said, trying to
put Jess’ mind at ease. He knew he
hadn’t.
Mike
burst into the bedroom. “Whoa, Tiger,” Jess said. “Slim just had another coughing fit and he needs to rest a
while.”
Mike
stopped in his tracks and looked at them both, concerned but obviously full of
excitement. “But I got great news,
Jess.”
“Okay,”
said Slim, adjusting his position, so that he was a little more comfortable
“Spit it out. We won’t get any peace
until you do.”
“Andy
is coming home and he’ll be here on the afternoon stage, TODAY.” Andy blurted
our, so full of excitement that he couldn’t stand still. “Chuck just told
me. Saw his name on the passenger list
at the depot.”
“What?”
Slim said. “But what about his job with
the paper?”
Slim’s
younger brother Andy, had gone to school in St. Louis, and had become a
well-respected journalist for a leading St. Louis newspaper company. ‘Why would he be coming home now,’ he
thought? He hadn’t asked either Jess or
Mike to wire for him. It’s too soon. He
wasn’t ready to face Andy, yet. He
needed more time.’ Then it struck him
and his gaze moved to Jess.
“Jess,
what did you do?” Slim asked, a frown forming on his face.
“What
I should have done weeks ago when the Doc first told us,” Jess sternly replied.
“You
had no right to worry Andy, Jess,” Slim scolded. “I told you I would tell you when it was time to wire him. It’s far too soon for him to be coming home. You should've just left things be.” Slim was breathing hard. The outburst had taken its toll.
Feelings
that Jess had wanted to keep buried, hidden, came bursting through to the
surface. All the hurt, anger and
frustration he had felt for the past weeks poured out of him.
“No
right? No right?” he shouted, jumping
to his feet. “I had no right? No right to wire Andy, tell him you’re sick
and he needs to come home, cause we... cause you need him?” He walked swiftly to the window and stared
out at the morning. “ I had no right,
cause I’m not a real part of this family am I?
Just a no account drifter, a gunslinger who drifted into your nice
little organized lives and turned them all upside down with my kinda
past.” With that he turned on his heels
and stormed out of the room.
Jess
was breathing hard. Suddenly and
without warning, he just couldn’t hold back any longer. He shoved the breakfast dishes off the table
onto the floor, turned the table and chairs over, and threw dishes at the walls
and doors. Finally, the rocking chair
flew through one of the front windows, landing with a resounding crash of wood
and glass on the front porch. He
collapsed to his knees, his head in his hands, his body shaking uncontrollably.
The
house was silent, except for the crackling of the fire in the grate.
“Jess.” A quiet voice called from behind him, and a
familiar comforting hand gently rubbed his back, the way it had always done
whether he was sick, worried or just plain mad. Jess looked up into Slim’s face that was filled with worry for
his friend. Mike standing behind Slim,
mirrored Slim’s expression. Tears
welled up in Jess’ eyes and he started to quietly sob.
Slim
was right there beside him like always, no matter what the trouble or hurt.
“C’mon, Jess,” Slim said quietly, motioning
Mike to help.
Mike
placed firm hands under Jess’ arms and helped him up. Then setting the table to
rights, he placed the chairs back in front of the fire, as Slim took Jess by
the arm and sat him down. Sitting
himself in the other chair Slim watched as Mike rescued the rocker from the
front porch.
Slim
and Jess sat by the fire, Mike heading into the kitchen to put on a fresh pot
of coffee. Whilst it was brewing, he
swept up the glass from the broken window.
All the while Jess just sat there, his hands covering his face. Mike poured them all fresh coffee. He handed one to Slim, but Jess made no
venture to take the offered cup. Mike
stood it beside him on the hearth and turned toward the door.
“I’ll
go finish up in the barn,” he said solemnly.
Slim
knew what Mike was doing and he smiled and touched his arm and whispered,
“He’ll be alright now, Mike.” He tried
to reassure the boy. Once again Slim
was playing his old familiar role of father and comforter.
His
two best friends needed to be alone, he knew that, but Mike loved them both so
much, and he was finding it harder and harder each day, to watch them suffer
like this. He wanted to be there for
Jess, but he knew that at this moment all Jess needed was Slim. He knew that all too soon, it would be his
turn, and he would be the one that Jess would need. He headed for the barn, the wetness stinging his eyes.
Jess
sat by the fire, biting his lips in an attempt to hold back the burning tears
and the sobs that were catching in his throat.
‘Get ahold of yourself, Harper,’ he thought to himself. But no matter how hard he tried, it all just
kept pouring out of him. Weeks of pain
and frustration so long held in check.
He wiped his arm across his face, cursing himself for not being
stronger. He had to be strong, not only
for the boys, but also for Slim. But he
had done the one thing he had tried to prevent for all these years. He had let his guard down, showing how
vulnerable he really could be.
Slim
put his coffee next to Jess’ on the hearth and moved his chair so that he was
facing him. He reached gently up and
took Jess’ hands away from his face, exposing the tear filled eyes and tear
stained cheeks.
“Jess,”
he said quietly. “It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. We’ll get
through this, and we’ll do it like we’ve always done, together.”
Slim
coughed slightly and Jess looked up, concern showing on his face. He quickly looked away, unable to keep eye
contact.
“You’re
a very real and important part of this family, Jess, and...
very
important to me,” Slim said.
Jess
looked at the floor avoiding Slim’s eyes.
Slim continued. “I’m sorry for
what I said. I didn’t mean to get so
mad. I just wanted to spare Andy the
waiting. It’s bad enough I have to
watch you and Mike suffer. I just
wanted Andy to remember me the way I was, not like I am now.” He coughed again and had to take a sip of
his coffee.
“You
should be in bed,” Jess retorted wiping his face once more, at last able to
feel more in control.
“Not
until we’ve talked about this, Jess.
Not until I know you’re going to be alright.” Slim paused and smiled, “Then I’ll go back to bed.”
Jess
picked up the coffee and took a sip and gazed into the firelight. “What’s to talk about Slim? You’re going to die and there ain’t nothing
I can do to stop it.” Jess’ hands
started to shake. Slim took the coffee
cup from him and placed it back on the hearth.
Jess wiped away the tears that had begun to form in his eyes again.
“Easy,
Jess.” Slim said quietly as if talking to a child.
He
had to find a way to reach Jess, he had to try and ease his pain. Slim didn’t know which hurt the worse, the
knowledge that he was going to be leaving them or knowing what it was doing to
the best friend he had ever had, his Pard, who meant everything to him. He was so proud of Jess, of what he had
accomplished with his life. If it
hadn’t been for Jess riding onto the ranch that day, just at that precise time
in their lives, there wouldn’t be a successful ranch and relay station today.
Slim
would never have been able to send Andy to school. Mike wouldn’t have had the carefree childhood and home that he
and Jess had been able to give him.
There would never have been the special kind of love, laughter and
happiness that only Jess could bring to them all. Slim hated to think what might have happened to them all if Jess
had not been a part of their lives.
“What’s
to talk about is how you feel, Jess.
You can’t keep it all bottled up like this, you gotta let it out.” A smile spread across his face as he
surveyed what was left of the living room. “And not by breaking up our only
pieces of furniture.” Slim tried a
chuckle, but to no avail. Jess just looked at him as somber as ever.
“I
see it in your face every minute of every day.” He paused and put a hand over his mouth, trying to suppress
another cough. “You may be able to hide it from everyone else, even Mike, but
you can’t hide it from me. I know you,
Jess. I know you better than you know
yourself.” Two pairs of blue eyes, tear
filled and full of sadness met. “I’m
your Pard, remember?”
At
hearing this, Jess again started to lose control and covered his face with his
hands shaking his head.
“You
mean so much to me, Slim,” he stammered and tried to compose himself again.
“You’ve always been there for me, trusting me, teaching me, getting me out of
scrapes.” He was silent for a moment. “You gave me everything, a home and a
family. How do I say goodbye? I can’t
bear the thought of going on without you.”
Then in barely a whisper, “You’ve been like a brother to me.” A quiet stillness filled the air as the two
friends sat together.
Slim
moved nearer. He put an arm around
Jess’ shoulder and held him close, like a father holding his child. He turned Jess slowly to face him and drew
Jess’ hands from his face and looked into those deep blue eyes that were so
full of pain.
“You’ll
be able to go on because you have to, because you know that’s what I’d want you
to do. Andy and Mike will need you like
never before. When they were growing
up, you were their friend, their hero and yes, their partner in crime in many
of those dreadful pranks you all played on me, Jonesy and Daisy over the
years.” A meek smile glimmered on Jess’
face, as he too remembered those happy days.
“Now it’s time for you to be their father, too. Be strong, Jess, for them. Give them your love and strength and you and
they will get through this.”
Jess
looked up at Slim, he didn’t know from where it came, but
he
felt a mischievous grin forming.
“Howd’ya
know all this? Do you have some kind of
crystal ball or somethin’...?” There it
was, that old familiar smile Slim knew and loved so well.
“No,
Pard nothing like that.” Slim smiled back, happy to see his friend looking
better if only for now.
“I
just know you, that’s all.”
At
3:12 precisely, the afternoon stage rumbled into the Sherman’s yard. Before it had even come to a halt, the stage
door was flung open and Andy Sherman leapt out. Mike ran up to him and they gave each other a firm handshake and
brotherly embrace. “Great to see you,
Andy,” Mike said cheerily.
“Come
on, Mike, let’s get this team changed,” Dusty yelled as he jumped down from the
driver’s box.
“Yeah,
Dusty, I’m a comin. Just wanted to say
hi to my big brother,” and he began to unhitch the team.
Big
brother, Andy mused, as he smiled at Mike, “It’s good to be home, little
brother...”
With
that, Andy climbed up and reached down his two bags. Finally, turning to face the house, he saw a tall, familiar
figure standing in the open doorway.
“Slim!”
he shouted, and raced forward.
Slim
moved from the doorway out onto the porch.
He held onto the porch railing trying hard not to show that he needed to
support himself. He was feeling tired,
and had been coughing quite a bit since lunch.
Though, he made sure that both Jess and Mike were not in earshot. There had been enough emotion and worry for
one day, he decided. So he had just
been resting, as much as he could in his favorite rocker by the fire. Andy bounded up the small step and hugged
his brother.
“Welcome
home, little brother,” Slim said, holding Andy tighter than he really
needed. Slim held Andy away to get a
good look at him. “Let’s look at you,
boy. Say you must have grown a foot or
more. At least I know you’ve been
eating properly.”
“Aww,
Slim. You sound just like Jonesy,”
remarked Andy.
“Lets
get you settled. There’s some fresh
coffee on.” With that they went into
the house.
Andy
looked around him. Nothing had
changed. The wooden table that he used
to do his homework on, and they ate their meals on. The leather couch by the window, the chairs by the fire, and the
old rocker. Everything was just the
same.
No,
wait...everything wasn’t the same.
Jess. Where was Jess? Andy put his bags down and turned to face
Slim. A questioning look on his face,
but that very quickly disappeared.
Andy’s face lit up like Christmas.
A figure had appeared in the doorway behind Slim.
“Jess,”
and he dashed passed Slim into Jess’ waiting arms. Now he was really home.
“Where
were you, Jess?” Andy asked.
“In
the barn...watching,” Jess replied.
Jess moved into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee.
“Watching...why
were you watching?” Andy asked in surprise.
“Just
wanted to give you and Slim...,” he left the sentence unfinished.
His
eyes had moved toward Slim, who was struggling to stand. He was leaning on a chair, his head down and
breathing hard. He moved passed Andy.
“C’mon,
Slim, let’s sit you down.” He snaked an
arm around Slim’s waist, and sat him in the rocker. Jess handed him the cup. “Take a sip, it’ll help.” Slim obeyed and he felt better.
The
stage had pulled out and Mike entered the room brushing dust off his hat.
“Can
I help with your bags, Andy?” Mike
asked. “You’re going to sleep with me
in my room.”
Yes,
thanks, Mike.” Andy’s and Jess’ eyes
met briefly with a flicker of understanding.
Jess nodded, instinctively knowing that he and Andy would talk later.
Supper
was a lively meal. When they had
finished eating, they sat around the fire, sipping coffee and remembering old
times. The clock on the mantel struck
the hour. It was late.
Jess
eyed Slim, who had been dozing peacefully.
He reached forward and touched his knee. Slim opened his eyes.
“Sorry,
boys. Must’ve dozed off,” he said
trying to sound wide awake. He had been
enjoying the evening, but was starting to feel the effects of such a long day.
“Time
for bed,” Jess said firmly.
“Aww, Jess, just a little longer. I’m not at all tired.”
“Bed,
Slim...now.” Jess’ voice was
adamant. Slim reluctantly rose from his
chair.
“Night
then” and he started for the bedroom.
“I’ll
check in on you in awhile,” Jess called.
Mike
said he was turning in too, as he had an early start in the morning. In truth, Jess and he had quiet words out in
the kitchen earlier. He knew that Jess
wanted to talk to Andy alone.
The
flames flickered softly, making patterns on the living room walls. Jess sipped his coffee. Andy broke the silence.
“How
bad is he, Jess?” Andy waited. Almost
holding his breath, for he knew, in his heart of hearts what was coming.
“Pretty
bad, Andy. Doc says he has Consumption. Said that he’s probably had it for quite
sometime, but hid it well.” He watched
Andy’s face.
Andy’s
life had been so hard, for one so young.
He had lost both his parents, within a year of each other, when he was
only thirteen. That was just before
Jess had come into his and Slim’s lives.
Now, he was going to lose the only other blood kin he had left. Andy had always been like a little brother
to him, and his heart ached for the pain he was causing the boy, but he had to
know the truth. Jess had never lied to
him, and he wasn’t about to start now.
“How
long?” Andy asked, tears now streaming from his eyes.
“Few
weeks at most,” replied Jess. He
leaned forward putting a comforting hand on the boy’s knee. Andy moved from his chair and slowly knelt
on the floor in front of Jess. He put
his head in Jess’ lap, just like he’d done when he was small, and wept. They sat for what seemed a long while, Jess
stroking Andy’s hair, shushing him softly.
It was Jess’ turn to be the comforter.
Their
solitude was broken, when the sound of coughing came from the bedroom. “Slim
needs his medicine before he can settle,” said Jess and he rose, gently lifting
Andy with him. He wiped the tears from
the boy’s face.
Andy
looked at him. “I’ll be okay, Jess.”
“I
know, Tiger.” With that he gave Andy a
firm hug, and headed in the direction of the bedroom.
The
next few weeks were as idyllic as Jess, and the boys could make them for
Slim. Jess and Slim would sit on the
porch, when Slim was up to it, and watch the antics of the youngsters.
Remarking about what grand men they had grown into.
“Jonesy
and Daisy would be so proud.” Slim had
said one afternoon. “I know I am,” and
he smiled at Jess.
It
was on one such sunny afternoon, Jess was coming out of the barn, when for no
reason he suddenly looked towards the house.
He started to walk, then run towards the porch where Slim was sitting in
the rocker. When he reached the porch,
he could see that Slim was finding it hard to catch his breath.
“Hang
on, Slim, I’ll get you some Laudanum.”
Slim
stopped him. “No, Jess. It’s time.”
Jess
knelt down beside him. “Andy! Mike!” Jess yelled, urgency in his voice.
Slim
raised his hand to Jess. Jess took the
frail fingers into his own strong grasp, and held on tight. Andy and Mike had run from the corral, and
were now kneeling on the other side of the rocker. Andy placed his hand on Slim’s arm, while Mike held Slim’s other
hand. Jess squeezed Slim’s hand gently,
and smiled his smile while tears flowed freely down his cheeks. Slim returned the smile. He looked around at the ranch and the boys
for one last time. Then turned his eyes
upon Jess.
“Always
liked that smile.” Slim had finally told him.
“Take care of things for me, Pard.”
He closed his eyes. Slim’s
suffering was over.
Nearly
all of Laramie turned out for the funeral.
It had been painful, but Jess and the boys had each other for
comfort. They were together, and that
was all that mattered. Slim would be
proud.
Jess
stood in the house doorway, coffee in hand like always. Feeling his memories, and surveying the
scene before him. The day was bright
and sunny, birds were singing. At the
Sherman ranch another precious life had ended, but their love, and strength had
seen them through those bitter days.
It was good to see Andy, and Mike up to their old tricks again. What were they doing, he dreaded to think? Now he knew what Jonesy, Slim and sweet
Daisy must have suffered, when he and those two were young, and making life
crazy with their antics.
Andy
had decided, that he wanted to move back home.
Jess had argued the point with him, saying that Slim wouldn’t want him
to give up his hopes and dreams. But
Andy was adamant.
“Jess,
all I am doing is just drifting, and I ain’t getting no where. I remember all the fun we had when I was
growing up, and I truly miss the ranch.
I just want to be home, working with you and Mike. Spend evenings by the fire like we used to
when, Slim...”
“I
know, Andy.” Jess remembered those
days. He missed them too.
“Alright,
if that’s what you really want.” He
wasn’t going to argue. As long as Andy
was happy, that was all that mattered to him.
“But you know that if you ever want to...”
Andy
jumped in “I won’t, Jess. I won’t.”
Of
course, Jess knew the real reason. Andy
wanted to be closer to him, for whatever time Jess had left to him, before he
too, had to say goodbye. Joining Slim
and Daisy on the hillside, overlooking their beloved home, and their boys.
Mike
was overjoyed to learn that Andy was going to stay on. “It will be great having an older brother to
fun around with.”
“And
get into scrapes with,” laughed Jess.
Mike and Andy looked at one another.
Then looking back at Jess.
“Jess,”
they said in unison. “Us. Never...” and
they ran off, before he could cuff them both around the ear. Jess raised his head and searching the clear
blue sky. ‘Slim these two are going to
drive me crazy.’ He smiled. ‘But I wouldn’t have them any other way.’
Every
evening at dusk, Jess went up the hill.
He sat on the small bench under the tall poplar, that Slim’s Pa had
planted, when the Sherman’s had first settled the place. There he sat, talking over the day with
Slim. This was something that he and Slim,
had begun many years before. When Andy
or Mike were settled in bed for the night, they would sit on the porch,
enjoying the quiet of the evening. They
talked about their hopes, dreams, the next day’s work, anything. Slim would relax by reading, but Jess always
had to have something to do with his hands.
So he would usually be either making rope or whittling something. Nothing changed, Jess would sit and talk
with Slim, and be either working on a piece of wood or binding some rope. Keeping this evening ritual going, somehow
made Jess feel closer to Slim, and less alone for without his Pard he felt
dreadfully alone. The boys were his
family, yes. He loved them more than
life itself, and would die for them if need be. But without Slim there, beside him, he felt incomplete.
There
was a loud crash. Then a yell, followed
by lots of scuffling, coming from...Jess wasn’t sure where it was coming
from. He continued to listen, hardly
daring to breathe.
“Mike,
get that creature out of the kitchen!” It was Slim’s voice. Jess opened his eyes. He was wide-awake now and he looked
around. He was in the front bedroom.
Slim
came bustling in, looking as mad as hell, no boots and in only his underwear.
“That
boy will be the death of me,” he grumbled as he moved behind the screen, and
began pouring water into a porcelain basin.
Slim
emerged from behind the screen, waving a bar of soap around in the air. “Would you believe it? He brought that darn raccoon in from the
yard. Said it needed to take a bath.
Gave Daisy a real awful fright, finding it in her sink.”
Jess
rubbed sleep from his eyes, and stared in disbelief at his friend who was
continuing, to rant and rave about Mike.
Saying, that Jess was going to have words with him, about taking the
animal back to the woods, where it really belonged.
Suddenly
he stopped talking. “Jess, have you
heard anything of what I just said?”
Jess was still staring, he couldn’t believe his eyes.
“What
on earth is the matter with you, boy?” Slim said staring right back at Jess.
“You
look like you seen, a ghost or something.”
“Not
sure if I haven’t yet,” replied Jess.
Could it all have been just some horrible..?
“Well,”
Slim began again. “Are you ever getting up?
The morning is half gone, you know.
We need to get those fences finished today.”
Jess,
though still unsure, scrambled out of bed and joined Slim. He poured water into the other basin. They washed, shaved and readied themselves,
for the hard day ahead. Strolling out
into the kitchen, they found Daisy, still cleaning up the mess left by Mike,
and the early morning bather. The aroma
of bacon and coffee filled their nostrils.
Daisy
hurriedly put away the mop and bucket.
“Sit down, boys,” she said brightly.
“You will need a good breakfast, before you set about those fences
today.”
Jess
sat, picking up the platter of bacon, filling his plate, then passed it to
Slim, who handed Jess a plate of soft fluffy pancakes. They tucked in eagerly.
“Mike
not having breakfast?” Jess asked.
“Mike
is in disgrace in his room.” Daisy
informed him. “I’ll have a talk with
him when you’ve both gone.”
Slim
swallowed his mouthful of pancake.
“Remember, Daisy. Be firm. Let’s see, the chicken coop needs cleaning.
That should keep him out of trouble.”
Then he added, as an after thought, “And he needs to get down to those
books of his too. Then Jess’ll talk to
him tonight about taking that critter back to the woods.”
“Why
me?” Jess asked.
“Maybe
because, it was you, who let him bring it home in the first place.” Slim carried on eating.
Jess
looked sheepish, but nodded. “Okay,
I’ll talk with him.”
“Coffee,
Jess?” Daisy’s smile was as clear and
as bright as the morning.
“Mmm...please,
Daisy.” Daisy filled Jess’ cup.
“Daisy,
why do you always ask, Jess if he wants coffee in the morning, and never me?”
Slim questioned, holding out his still empty cup.
“Slim,
dear,” Daisy said, in her usual motherly voice, as she filled his cup for
him. “You, are always up with the lark,
bright eyed, and wide awake in the morning.
Jess, on the other hand, needs a little more help to get started, and
‘COFFEE’ is the magic word.” She and
Slim both chuckled and looked across at Jess, who glared at them across the rim
of his cup.
Slim
smiled and jumped up, eager to get on.
“Come on, Jess get a move on, we haven’t got all day.” With that, he took his coffee with him and
headed for the barn, and the day’s work.
“What’s
wrong, Jess? Didn’t you sleep well?
quizzed Daisy.
“I’m
fine, Daisy.” Actually he still wasn’t
too sure.
“You
look a little pale, dear,” she said, brushing back his dark locks, feeling his
forehead. “You don’t have a
fever.” That was his Daisy. Always fretting for him, but knowing just
when he needed her.
She
sat down next to him, laying a small hand gently on his. She poured herself some coffee and refilled
Jess’.
“I
did want to tell you something,” Jess started, but then unsure how to
continue. Had the horror of the last few
hours, been just a dream, or was this?
He wasn’t sure. All he was sure
of was that Daisy was there, and he needed to talk to her.
“What
is it, dear, nothing serious I hope?” There was a note of concern in her
voice. Something was troubling Jess and obviously upsetting him, she thought.
“It
concerns what you were saying...yesterday.”
He thought it was yesterday anyway. “What you were saying to Mike about
everyone being afraid of something, and that even I was afraid of something but
didn’t know what it was.” He saw the concern slip fleetingly across her face.
“Go
on, dear,” she encouraged. “I’m
listening.”
“I
just wanted to tell you, that I know now what it is, and I’m not afraid
anymore.” He rose from the table, and
kissed her on the forehead. Then he
started to head for the door, grabbing his hat from the nearby peg. Daisy followed, stopping him. He put his hat on, looking into her sweet
face. She stood as tall as she
could. Pushing back his hat, she saw
deep blue eyes, gazing down at her. She
pulled his face down to hers, gently kissing him on the cheek.
“Have
a good day, dear.” With that she
turned, and went about clearing the breakfast dishes. Daisy understood him so well.
He couldn’t fathom how, but it made his heart glad. Jess left through the open doorway. The ugliness of last night, started to fade.
The
morning was fresh and clear. Slim was
already busy, saddling the horses. They
had a couple of hours ride ahead of them, up to the top forty. Where they were to finish off the repairs to
the fences and Slim was eager to get going.
Jess
pulled on his gloves as he entered the barn.
“Slim?” Jess ventured as he
tightened the cinch on Traveler.
“Yeah,
Jess,” Slim replied.
Jess
hesitated. Maybe he should just let it
alone. He continued to ready his horse.
“Something
on your mind?” Slim asked, looking over Alamo’s back to where Jess stood, his
back turned to him.
“Had
a dream last night.”
Slim
was smiling. “Yeah, I know.”
“What
do you mean, you know?” Jess said, turning in puzzlement to look at Slim.
“You
were tossing around some, and talking in your sleep. It was like sleeping with Mike.
Never known you, to be so restless.”
“Hope
I didn’t disturb you too much, Slim,” Jess replied, feeling his cheeks flush.
“Not
much,” Slim replied. “Took me a devil
of a time, to settle you down though.
You kept throwing off your blankets at one point. Had to rub your back for an age, to quiet
you. Don’t know why, but it always
seems to work. Whether you’re sick, or
just fighting mad.”
Jess
didn’t speak. Slim rubbing his back, he
remembered that, least he thought he did.
Slim
was smiling again. “Heard some pretty
interesting things too, I can tell you.”
Jess
went a whiter shade of pale. Thoughts buzzed through his head. ‘How much had Slim heard? What had Slim heard?’ He shifted his feet on the dirt floor. Suddenly feeling, uncomfortable and uneasy. In fact, he thought he’d rather be facing
someone down in the street, than be standing here with Slim at this precise moment.
Slim
came around Alamo, giving Jess that smile he knew so well. He put a hand on Jess’ shoulder, giving it
an affectionate squeeze.
“Don’t
worry, Pard,” he said, “you won’t ever lose me.”
Jess
looked straight at Slim, trying to show no emotion. Slim had obviously heard everything.
“Goodbye
doesn’t mean forever, Jess. We’ll wait for each other.” Slim continued, “It
wouldn’t be heaven without you there beside me.” Tears were welling up in two
pairs of blue eyes.
Slim
squeezed Jess’ shoulder again, then playfully flicked the brim of Jess’ hat.
“Now
can we get on with some work today?” he said wiping away the tears from his
face. “Or shall we make a slight
detour. Go find a nice shady spot,
under a tree maybe?” There was now a
broad grin on his face, and mischief in his eyes.
“Slim?”
Jess began hesitantly.
“No,
Jess.” Slim put up a hand, stopping
him. He knew exactly what Jess was
about to say, and they had a rule. They
didn’t need words, to know how either of them felt, about the other.
“But
what about the fences, Slim?”
“Tomorrow
will do,” Slim said as he mounted.
Jess
smiled at his friend. “Shady spot
sounds perfect. But let’s make sure we steer clear of any, poisonous plants
this time,” chuckling, as he mounted Traveler.
He was recalling the last time they had played hooky.
They
had been fishing up at the lake.
Resulting in Slim, rolling into some poison oak. Jess couldn’t remember, who had pushed who,
into the water first. He only
remembered the laughter as he and Slim had dragged themselves back to the
bank. It was while they were lying in
the afternoon warmth to dry their clothes, that Slim must have laid on some
poison oak. Daisy had definitely not
believed their tale of Slim’s horse being spooked while they were rounding up
strays- Slim being thrown, into the patch of poisonous leaves.
Jess
wanted to spend a quiet day with just his Pard. Then savor each and every day they had together. Until they had to say goodbye, now knowing,
that it would only be for a short while.
That was what he was afraid of.
Having to say goodbye to Slim.
The only true friend and family, he had ever known. Slim was his rock, his foundation. As they rode out of the yard together, Daisy
waved to them from the open kitchen door, blowing them both a kiss.
“Don’t
be late now. Oh, and try to
remember. Keep away from any, itchy
looking plants, when you’re up there mending those fences!” There was a twinkle
in her eyes.
They
looked at each other, ‘busted’, and they hadn’t even left home yet. How did she do it?
“We
won’t,” they shouted over their shoulders.
Laughing loudly they waved back to her, carrying on out of the yard, up
the steep road to the top of the hill.
Jess
and Slim looked at one another, smiling as they rode along side by side. Together.
Secure in the knowledge, that they were and always would be family. Jess, assured in the knowledge, that saying
goodbye, didn’t mean forever.
They
would wait for each other. Ride
together the endless trails of the heavens.
Pards forever.
Never
again to be parted.
Never
again to say goodbye.