PROLOGUE TO FOREVER by Ash Wednesday Lee The characters of Shin Kudoseki Gundam Wing belong to Sotsu Sunrise Agency. I am sure they are wonderful people who I don't want to mess with ^.^. GENRE: one-shot Fluff, sappiness and all that crap you hide in your        closet *gryn* PAIR: 3xR RATING: G SUMMARY: An adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut's Long Walk To Forever       from "Welcome to the Monkey House." He stood there, wondering how long it has been since he stood in front of this very door, pretty much like how it was now. It was a long time ago, two, maybe three years ago. He remembers so little of it now, save for Heero's last instructions before he left for that mission to L1 and Relena sobbing quietly in the background. That was how he met her. She was crying. It was barely a year after the Eve Wars then. Insurgencies were plauging both the earth and the colonies, keeping the Preventers busy at that time. He had just been to an operation in L4 with Wufei and Quatre while Heero's just been assigned to lead the infiltration of the rebel's base in L1, relieving him from his duties with Relena. To this day, he wonders why Heero chose to entrust his favorite mission to him until the assignment was completed. Now they were twenty, though they've not really seen each other for nearly a year. More of his doing, actually. In his few months' stay in Cinq Kingdom, and even beyond when Heero returned, there had always been a playful, comfortable warmth between them. A friendship fostered in that brief period of time when he worked for her. But never any talk of love. For another or for each. He cleared his throat and knocked on the door, his lines for Pagan well-rehearsed in his mind. Relena came to the door, carrying a thick, glossy bridal magazine. "Trowa!" she said, surprised to see him, "would you like to come in?". The bride on the cover of the magazine was watching him under her veil. He gave it a momentary study before asking, "could you come for a walk?" He was a shy person. Even in the comfortable friendship he and Relena shared, he would have to cover his shyness by speaking so few words, or when he does speak, its rather absently. As though his concerns where anywhere but close-- like he was briefing a mission to his subordinates pausing and stressing beautiful, distant and sinister points. A manner of speaking that distinguishes him from Heero's preferred silence. "A walk?" she asked, hugging the magazine to her chest. The bride's eyes were twinkling at him. "One foot in front of the other," he answered, "through leaves, under trees--" "I had no idea you were in town," she said. "Just got here," he said. She gave him a look over, "still with the Preventers, I see. I thought you've gone back to the circus." His uniform was rumpled, his shoes caked with dirt. He had a shadow of a beard. He held out a hand for the magazine, "let's see the pretty book." She had the smallest of smiles when she opened the door, something unrecognizable was dancing in her eyes. That something faded when she handed him the magazine, "I'm getting married, Trowa," she said. "I know," he said, not opening the magazine, "let's go for a walk, Relena." She laughed nervously, "I'm quite busy, right now," she glanced briefly behind her, "the wedding's in four days." "If we go for a walk, it'll make you rosy. It will make you a rosy bride. A rosy bride like--" he paused, remembering the magazine and held the cover to her, "like her." He then turned the pages, "and her- - and her--" he said, showing other rosy brides. Relena blushed, thinking about rosy brides. She tipped her head to the side and regarded Trowa for a while, wondering where this strangeness was coming from. She was smiling at him. "That will be my present to Heero," he said, "by taking you for a walk, I'll be giving him a rosy bride." Her smile wavered, "how'd you know we were getting married?" He was still flipping through the pages, "Catherine wrote," he said absently, "St. Martin's Cathedral, 8 a.m, Friday." She looked down, straightened her skirt upfront, "I had an invitation ready for you. I just didn't know where to send it to, since I don't really know where you disappeared off to in the last year." He didn't look up from the pages, still looking at the rosy brides. He never saw so much white in his entire life. "Can-- can you come to the wedding, Trowa?" she asked. "Maybe, though I doubt it," he answered. She raised her eyes and watched him skim through the magazine, "oh." she said, "you have a new mission?" "I have one right now," he was looking at a two page ad for some china and silver. She now raised her eyes to him steadily, the crease between her eyebrows deepening, "Trowa, does anyone know you're here?" He didn't answer that. "Why are you here Trowa?" she asked, impatience getting a bit more evident in her voice. He smiled, "I had to find what your silver pattern is," he read names of silver patterns from the magazine. "Albemarle? Heather?" he flipped a page, "Legend? Rambler Rose?" He looked up finally, humor twinkling in his emerald eyes, "I plan to give you and Heero a spoon." Relena was caught off-guard with his answer, forgetting his odd humor. She shook her head, trying hard not to smile again, she's been smiling too much around him. "Trowa, really," she said instead. He closed the magazine and tossed it aside, "I want that walk." She wrung her hands in anguish, "You're not fooling me about that mission, Trowa." "Why not?" he asked, shoving hands into his pants' pockets. "Because its not you," she answered, almost in a wail. It was his turn to smile, "L5, sector 4," he said. "What?" "I was with Wufei. We were supposed to sneak into this artillery room." The way he said it, it was impossible for her to doubt any more. "Does Cathy know?" she asked instead. "I didn't come to see Catherine." "Then why are you here?" "I came to see you." "Why?" Because I love you," he said. "Now can we take a walk?" he asked, "one foot in front of the other-- through leaves, under the trees--" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- They were taking a walk now, their feet crunching against the fallen golden leaves of the woods, not too far from her house. He remembers doing this with her a couple of times in the morning during his stay there as her Chief Security Officer. She wakes up before the crack of dawn, something her fears taught her. He, on the other hand, wasn't really one who had much care for sleep. They'd pass through the clearing, talking about everything and nothing, the trees mute witnesses to her laughter, and sometimes his own as well. Relena wasn't laughing now. She was rattled, trembling with anger and close to tears. "Trowa, this is insane!" How so?" he asked, their pace comfortable, though the beat of her feet sounded a bit more errant than his. "Why are you doing this?" she asked stopping on her tracks. He stopped as well, "you're acting strange! You're talking strange. Trowa, you don't talk like this!" "Let's keep walking," he answered instead. "No!" she kept her feet planted to where she stood, "So far, no farther. I shouldn't have come with you at all!" her cheeks were prettily flushed, her lips trembling. "You did," he pointed out, making her all the more furious. "To get you out of the house!" she exclaimed, "if somebody walked in and heard you... heard you, saying these things... the wedding four days away--" "What would they think?" he finished. "They'd think you're crazy!" she answered. "Why?" he asked again. Relena pressed her eyes close, already her temper's getting the better of her. She took a deep breath and said, "okay, Trowa. I'm deeply flattered by this insanity," she paused for another breath, "I don't believe there's really a situation in L5 and you were with Wufei. Maybe you were in L5 with Wufei, sniffing strange chemicals or whatever that made you come here and acting just as strange. I can't believe you really love me, but maybe you do. And--" "I do," he said. "Well, I'm deeply honored," she said, "and I'm very fond of you as a friend and I treasure our friendship more than anything. But it's just..." words felt like they were running away from her. The sheer logic of her and Trowa was just so profound and complex and.. "it's just too late, Trowa." He was regarding her patiently, with mild confusion. She took a step back, "you've never even kissed me!" she said, then immediately protected herself with her hands. "Not that I'm saying you should kiss me now," she said quickly, "I mean, this is all such a surprise, so unexpected, I haven't got the remotest idea how to address this situation, much less respond!" "Has Heero kissed you?" he asked. Her cheeks colored some more, "that is none of your business!" He stared at her, then a smile broke on his lips. "Just walk some more, Relena," he said, "have a nice time." They started walking again. One foot in front of the other-- through the leaves and under the trees. "How'd you expect me to react?" she asked, her voice more calm than fifty paces ago. "How would I know what to expect?" he said, "I've never done this before." She laughed ruefully, as melodious as those mornings before, "did you think I'd throw myself into your arms and call the wedding off?" He shrugged, "maybe." "I'm sorry to disappoint you," she said. He shrugged again, "I'm not disappointed," he looked at the endless canopy the trees made ahead, "I wasn't counting on it." Relena stopped again, "you know what happens next, right?" "No," he stopped as well, two paces ahead of her. "We'd shake hands," she said, "we'd shake hands and part as friends. Then you'd come to my wedding on Friday," she took a sharp breath, "that's what happens next." Trowa nodded, "Alright," he said, "remember me from time to time then. Remember how much I loved you." Relena suddenly burst into tears, freely reminding him the day they met. She was crying that day too. "What does that mean?" he asked, almost non-comittal. "I'm angry, damn you!" she said, turning her back to him, her small hands, closed to fists on her sides, "you have no right to--" "I needed to find out," he said, watching the wind play with her golden hair, swaying it this way and that. "If I loved you..." she began, waiting if he would cut in again. He didn't. He was waiting as well. "If I loved you, I would've let you known before now." "You would?" he asked. "Yes," she said firmly. She faced him, her face still wonderfully flushed. "You would have known." "How?" "You would've seen it," she said, "women aren't that very good at keeping things to themselves, you know." Trowa was looking at her closely. Her cerulean eyes, patrician nose, lips pursed close in anger. And she knew she's been telling the truth. That a woman can't hide love. Trowa was seeing it now. On the next breath he kissed her. She didn't speak as soon as he pulled back. He realized she had closed her eyes. "You're hell to get along with!" she exclaimed. He blinked, "I am?" She held her cheek against her palm, her blush still hadn't let up. "You shouldn't have done that," she whispered. "You didn't like it?" he asked. She waved the hand from her cheek, "what'd you expect? The wild, unbridled flames of passion to devour both of us in ecstasy?" He smiled at her sudden turn of language, "I told, you, I don't know know what's going to happen next." "We say goodbye, Trowa," she said decisively. His smile faltered slightly to a frown, "alright." She stared at him for a moment then shut her eyes tightly. As though blotting everything with darkness. She then sighed and opened them again. "I'm not sorry we kissed, Trowa," she said, "it was sweet of you. We should've kissed, we've been so close in those few months. I'll always remember you, Trowa." She smiled, "good luck." "You too," he said. "Thank you," she said. Six months," he said. The smile in her face didn't budge, "what?" "Lady Une will probably put me out of commission for six months for leaving duty without permission. Then there's still Wufei..." "I--I'm sorry," she stammered, "but it's not like I asked you to do this, Trowa." "I know." He said. Then he laughed ruefully, "it's really not easy to be so perfect for everyone you know," he met her eyes, she wasn't smiling anymore, "you know?" he repeated. Her voice caught somewhere in her throat and she had to satisfy his question with but a nod. She noted uneasily that they were walking again. Without him asking her if she wanted to anymore. The farewell went forgotten. "You really love him?" he asked, he was looking at something in her hair, watching the sunlight play with the flaxen strands. She looked at Trowa, blinking once, "Trowa, I've been chasing him since I was fifteen." "Yes," he said, urging her to go on. "I've gone through so much. Prayed so much for this," she said. "You really love him?" he repeated. "Ofcourse I love him!" she exclaimed, not liking his questions. "Why would I be marrying him if I'm not in love with him?" But Trowa went on, "what's good about him, Relena? I mean," he was watching his feet as it playfully brought along with it some of the leaves as he walked, "what made you fall in love with Heero?" "Honestly!" she stopped again, him stopping as well. "Do you have any idea just how offensive and annoying you're getting with these questions? Heero is a good, good, good man," she said, "he takes good care of me. There may be some things he falls short on but that's none of your business. I love Heero and I don't need this conversation!" "Sorry," he said. "Honestly!" she said. No sooner had she exhaled, Trowa kissed her again. He kissed her again because she wanted him to. They went through the canopy and even the stretch of the forest with wild flowers on either side of the trail. "How did we get so far, Trowa?" she asked, looking around the unfamiliar surroundings. In their walks, they'd usually stop in the canopy and head back home again. He shrugged, "one foot in front of the other, through the leaves, under the trees--" "They add up," she said, her voice far away, "the steps." They heard the faint sound of a bell ringing from a distance. "The school for the blind," she muttered, seeing the spires of the school emerging from another thickening of trees several meters from them. "The school for the blind," he murmured, just as absently. She snapped into attention, "I've got to get back now. Noin might be looking for me already." "Say goodbye, Relena," he said. "I would," she said, then frowned, "but everytime I do, I seem to get kissed." Trowa stopped under one of the few apple trees, pulling Relena's by the elbow to stop as well. "Sit down." he said. "No." she said, already pulling her arm back. He released her, "I won't touch you." "I don't believe you," Relena took several steps back from him. The next tree was several feet ahead of him. She went and sat there instead. She leaned on the tree's trunk and closed her eyes. Trowa said something to her that she didn't quite understand in their distance. "Dream of Heero," he repeated, "dream of your wonderful husband-to- be." "That I will do," she answered, turning away from him. Already, she was seeing Heero in her mind's eye. Trowa yawned and leaned on the apple tree's trunk as well. Crickets began to hum an errant melody somewhere in the bushes, almost lulling Relena to sleep. Almost. She turned and saw Trowa sleeping soundly, his exhale and inhale faintly audible. She let him, nearly for an hour or so. And while he slept, she adored him with all her heart. Her thoughts drifting back to those few months they spent with each other. The shadows of the tree began to take a greater space of the ground, the bell from the school for the blind rang again. Leaves rustled above them, the sounds of birds escaping to the sky. Relena got up and knelt beside where Trowa slept. "Trowa?" she asked, nudging him slightly on the arm. "Hmm?" he said. "Late," she said. She watched his eyes flutter open. His head was tilted in such a way that allowed her to see the other. It had the strangest shade of green, with flecks of gold revealed only by the sunlight. "Hello, Relena," he said softly. "Hello, Trowa," she said, just as soft. "I love you." "I know," she said. He smiled, "too late." "Too late," she agreed. He got up, holding his hand out for her, "a very nice walk, Relena," he said. "I thought so," she said. "Part here?" he asked. "Yes," she said sadly, "where will you go?" "Preventers Headquarters," he plucked a fallen leaf from her hair. He loves her hair. The way it curves gracefully on her shoulders in molten gold. "Good luck, I guess," she said. "You too," he said. "Marry me, Relena?" "No," she answered. He smiled and studied her intently. He was thinking of whether to kiss her again or not. He didn't. Trowa turned and walked opposite where they came from. She watched him grow smaller, the shadows slowly engulfing him with them. She knew that if he stopped and turned, she would run to him. She'd have no choice. He did stop. He turned. He called. "Relena," he said. She ran to him, her head plowing against his chest, arms wound tight around his waist. Words, again, escaping her. ~owari ---------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- AUTHOR'S NOTES: 1. I'm extremely familiar with Mr. Vonnegut's works (Breakfast of Champions, Slaughterhouse Five) but I've come across this story in one of the fanfiction MLs I've been to. This has been adapted in Rurouni Kenshin and Yu Yu Hakusho and gave me an idea to do one for GW. Some of the original dialogues have been adapted in this fic. But I did adjust some of them to suit the premises of the GW universe. Anyone interested with the original story... er, wait, the link will follow soon *gryn* 2. In all of the anime I've been hooked into, I'm more of an alternative pairing fan, save for GW since I'm so intrigued with the complexities of 1xR relationship. Aoshi-Kaoru, Kurama-Botan, Ken-Aya-chan (WK)... anyway, I fell in love with 3xR when I read a handful of them in ff.net, particularly Kysra's and lately, War Dove's works. I was going to have this as 1xR but I really wanted a 3xR tucked under my belt ^.~ 3. Oooh! My first one-shot! Ever! Thanks for the read.