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      Ramblers
January 31st, 2003: Why doesn't MTV play music videos anymore? Wasn't that the entire point of creating it in the first place? For example, a three hour block today from 9 AM to 12 PM is showing Crib Crashers, Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes, MTV Cribs, ET on MTV, and some show called Made. You'll note the absence of any music related shows an/or music videos. For those of you looking for ACTUAL VIDEOS, I have an alternative. Try out Yahoo's free video station, Launch. All you need is a Yahoo! ID and you can start viewing videos you want to see, instead of Whiny Chick #2 and Jackass #4.
Today's follow up: Yes, I am now a corprate whore for shamelessly plugging Yahoo (which owns Geocities). But I'm a rich whore.
Febuary 3rd, 2003: Will somebody please explain to me why Hollywood insists on casting actors in roles they can't play? Al Bundy as Joe Friday? Terminator 2 as an FBI Agent? The Osbournes as a lovable family, and worst of all, Ben Affleck as a Superhero? Seriously! You expect me to buy Ben Affleck as Daredevil?! Ok, maybe if Eleckta was played by J-Lo, but come on. I originally heard that Nick Cage was going to be playing Spiderman. Now Nick is one of my favorite actors, but he can't play a college student!!! Imagine how good Daredevil would be if he were played by Colin Farrell, or that guy in the "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" movie. The entertainment industry is small enough, we don't need all the good roles going to inferior hacks.
February 4th, 2003: You know, if there is one thing I absolutely, positively cannot stand, it is an ignorant person. A real man will stand up when he is wrong, and admit his mistakes. An ignorant one will find someone else to blame, and think that, of course, they could never be wrong. They say "Well, I'm perfect. I could never make a mistake. This fellow saying I'm wrong is a liar, and I'll make him pay for this." Why am I bringing this up? The Utah Jazz just lost a game tonight because a referee no older than myself, having blown a call and being complained to about it, responded by calling a technical against Karl Malone, and continuously refusing to call fouls that were occuring. The Jazz didn't lose tonight, but they had to pay the price for someone else's mistakes. I'm wrong as much as anyone, usually more so. But this time I'm right.
February 6th, 2003: I'd like to take this time today to give the world a driving lesson. Everyone knows when you approach an intersection with stop signs, the person on your right has the right of way if you all arrive at the same time. Now, there seems to be a problem with people thinking that if there are no cars on their right, it must be their right of way. This is incorrect. If I pull up to a stop sign, stop, see no car to my right already stopped or in the process of stopping, it is my right of way (assuming no other cars have already pulled out). However, I've seen numerous incidences of people seeing me ALREADY in the intersection, and yet they drive as though they have the right of way. It usually isn't a good idea to pull out when a car is in FRONT of you. So the next time you see someone start pull out from your left who was already there, don't pull out like a schmuck. Trust me, it'll keep your insurance rates down.
February 13th, 2003: Ok, ok. Enough slacking off being sick. Alright, so a week after my last RR, I come back to discover the news that the nation is at high risk of another terrorist attack on Valentines Day. This isn't news. What, you thought they'd stop after 9/11? Why on earth are we only on alert when the likelyhood is "very high"? Shouldn't we be paying attention all the time? And don't tell me that living in fear is doing what the terrorists want. It's not living in fear, it's noticing that guy buying 9000 gallons of cow crap. Besides, they'll never attack on a holiday anyways, because that's when everyone is wariest. The terrorists know that. Anyone who thinks that Osama and Saddam don't have satellite TV and CNN is sadly mistaken. So we tell the world "America is ready for a possible attack on Valentines Day" and what are they gonna do? They'll push their plans back a few weeks and attack on that day. Just a word of advice. Don't live in fear, but don't be ignorant of your surroundings either. The world isn't a safe place. Deal with it.
February 14th, 2003: You know, it's all well and good that lovers get their own day. But why do they get a day? Why isn't there a Singles Day where we hand out Be My One Night Stand cards instead of Be My Valentine? Instead of chocolate and diamonds we get Big Mac coupons and happy hour is an extra 15 minutes if your alone. Just think of the little heart candies we could make. Instead of Marry Me, Beer Me. Instead of U R Hot, U R Not. The possibilities are endless! Besides, don't we deserve a day to make fun of the couples and rub it in their faces like they do on Valentines Day? We'd point and laugh at the "happy couples" and go "Those poor fools. If only they could have no one, they'd enjoy this day as much as we do." Who's with me? I say we work on getting this a national holiday, where the only people who work are attached and the rest of us go to Denny's for Grand Slams. And if we need a date, how about March 4th? I always wanted my birthday to be a national holiday.
February 17th, 2003: You know, I think the automobile manufacturers should start making every option optional. Think of all the money people would be saving if they could choose exactly what they wanted on their cars. For starters, you can bet no one would buy turn signals. I mean, can you name the last time you saw some one use a turn signal? I think Ronny Reagan was still in office. Next on (or should I say off) the list would be the mirrors. Do you really think people look to see if there' another car in the next lane before they dive in front of you? Seatbelts would also probably be in little demand, although maybe not since you get a fine here in Florida for not wearing one. Heck, I bet even a few people wouldn't buy brakes, as many people as I see run red lights. If this happened,  people could use the money for something they would use, like a sunroof, or a 6 CD changer. But that's unlikely to happen as car dealers want as much money as they can get their grimy fingers on.
February 23rd, 2003: Well I already wrote this once but Geocities is a piece of shit sometimes. So here we go again. F-them.
As I'm sure you all know, America is the fattest nation in the world. There's a saying that "Sloth is the Mother of Invention." What, you think if we were in good shape we'd have come up with the remote control? Or Cruise Control? Or 82 different varieties of chips? But now comes the blobbo invention to top them all...The Segway! Yes, this miraculous fatass machine will transfer you anywhere. You know, if you can't walk 100 feet to the mailbox, you should spend 5K (yes, 5K) on something else...a liposuction. But thanks to Segway, now fat people can run down kids in the mall in addition to the road. You really think some lardo who can't get off the couch without sweating can steer out of the way before they break your legs? Don't hold your breath. So why don't you do us all a favor, and put down the Krispy Kremes.
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