| Why Perseverance Pays Off: Pringle Gets a Date Or How Pringle Defied the Odds and Popular Opinion (of us all) Orchestra, Tutorial week. PRINGLE is making errors in his playing. That is to say, more errors than usual. GEORGINA is at the back of the Viola section. Whilst the SECOND VIOLIN SECTION think nothing of the frequent discords, the VIOLA SECTION look uncomfortable. Patrick: Why does Pringle keep not-so-subtly staring fixatedly in this direction? Alex: To tell you the truth, I couldn’t be sure. Patrick: I didn’t ask YOU. I wonder….. Alex: What? If he’s finally realised that the things people write about him on the internet are essentially acts of defamation? Patrick: NO, you IDIOT. I wonder if he’s in love….I can smell it in the air. Brass Section: (giggling) Dude, I think you’re smelling what we’re smoking back here! (They break into another fit of giggling) Jo(hannah): No, love doesn’t smell like tea leaves and fly spray. It smells like….Impulse deodorant. Brass Section: (suddenly composed) Hey! We’ve been ripped off! Tim: I swear, it’s quality shit! Alex: …in love with me? Patrick: NO, shut-up. I’m trying to think. Now who in this section is the sort of person Pringle would be attracted to? (Their eyes both gravitate towards the music stand) Esther: I thought it would be obvious, even to you, that Pringle has a thing for our tutor. All in section: Who’s that? Esther: Georgina. Georgina is our tutor. All in section: Oh yeah. (Pringle very audibly stuffs up. More so than usual) Patrick: I doubt that somehow. Pringle may not exactly be a one-man band, but he’s definitely a one-stand man. Esther: What?! Alex: Guys, has anyone seen my phone? I think those guys who rolled me today may have taken it at knife-point. SOME TIME PASSES Georgina: I’d really like to see what the Seconds are doing in this bit, but their tutor seems to be away today. I’ll just go and ask that student in the back desk. Pringle: Hey guys, check it out, I can play with my eyes closed (starts trying to play the theme to “Funky Town” in the middle of Finlandia, striking many obvious discords. He hears Georgina approaching) …..and yes, ah, you, play that bit with more…..loudness! (Leans back in his chair) Hey Georgina. I’m just busy tutoring my section. Of which I am the tutor. Georgina: Oh, I see. I was just wanting to ask, what do you play in bar 45? Pringle: The theme to “The Beverly Hillbill…err, I mean, ah….up? Georgina: Oh, we’ve been playing down-bows. Pringle: Sorry, I meant down. That’s right. Slip of the tongue. Georgina: Oh, OK. (goes back to Viola section) Pringle: (to himself) I am the man. BREAK TIME Patrick and David: Hey, Pringle! Way to Pick Up! (click fingers and point up) Pringle: Well, sometimes I surprise even myself. Patrick: You did good out there….but you’ve got to take a more assertive approach. For example, I don’t think she knows your name. Try to bring it up in conversation. Pringle: Actually, I usually find that it’s a good idea to leave that ‘till later. David: Well, think off a better name for yourself. Something with sex appeal. Or a romantic one. Girls like that sort of thing. Pringle: Really? And all this time I’ve just been stalking them to get their attention! Geoff: Go get her Tiger! SECOND HALF Pringle: (sidling over to the Viola section) Yo Georgie, whassup? Georgina: Hi. Pringle: Let me introduce mah-self. The name’s Alex…. (Pringle looks lost. Patrick makes frantic hand gestures.) ….Love. (Patrick slaps forehead) But they call me The Doctor. The Doctor of Pringle. Oh damn. Georgina: They told me your name was Pringle! (The Seconds all laugh) Pringle: (unconvincingly) Oh that’s right. My apologies. Yes, my name is Pringle. Silly me. Haha. Georgina: Actually, I wanted to ask you what you’re playing after the key change. Pringle: (subconsciously avoiding answering the question) Look, I’m just going to cut to the chase. What are you doing tonight? Georgina: I’m dining alone at the restaurant above The Erko to acknowledge the anniversary of my father’s death. Pringle: ….but you’re dining alone, right? Georgina: Yes, why? Pringle: Oh…no reason(!) I guess I’ll see you “around”. (Pringle walks triumphantly back to the Seconds. The whole Orchestra cheers and applauds, save for the bewildered Georgina. Cries of “Pick Up” can be heard.) Steve: Could you STOP THAT!!!!!! We were in the middle of a piece! (Everyone falls silent) Jack: Well, you could say, everyone UN-AMORE-OUSLY supports Pringle! (There is a deadly silence, which continues for several seconds. Jack briefly looks expectant of an immediate positive response, but soon begins to look very uncomfortable) James: Hey…..wait…..I…..get it. He’s…..named after a popular…….snack food! (Everyone sighs with relief, and the piece is started again from the nearest convenient point.) Pringle: (to self) Who’s the black private dick who’s a sex machine with all the ladies? Shaft! I mean Pringle! Claire: I love James Cameron Diaz. |
| NB: It should be noted that the events of this transcript are not necessarily an accurate reflection of the quality of Pringle's picking-up abilities in general; he has been known in numerous cases to be quite a player - see "Pringle Drops a Bombshell (on us all)", or "Pringle in real life". |