I believe that the nation's 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but that today's gas prices, the fifteen year high in unemployment, the unprecedented federal deficits (largest in history), the increasing inflation, lack of jobs, increased poverty, increased insurance costs, and all the deaths in Iraq are all Bill Clinton's fault.

I believe that any means whatsoever are justified when the goal is the implementation of the Conservation / Republican agenda.

I believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution, which includes banning gay marriages, subsidizing multinational corporations, and spying on American citizens..

I believe no matter how corrupt the Bush family is, the Kennedy family is worse.

I believe that no mater how often and how big the lies are that the Bush administration tells, that if they repeat them often enough, loudly enough and call anybody who points them out "traitors" and "anarchists" that makes them facts.

I believe that if George surrounds himself with incompetent ass kissing "yes" men and fawning females that he can make better decisions.

I believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.

I believe that a tax break for the wealthy that takes away child credits for the poor is going to make poor people go away so that we will all be rich.

I believe that government should stay out of peoples' lives, but I do want the government to ban same-sex marriages and deny a woman the right of choice.

I believe that government should stay out of peoples' lives, but I want it to regulate what I can watch on TV or listen to on radio and CD’s or read in magazines, and what I can use the flag for.

I believe that government should stay out of peoples' lives, but I think it's fine to be molested by untrained security people in airports, to be photographed and taped in public places, and to have the President authorize illegal spying against American citizens.

I believe that the public has "a right to know" about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter".

I believe that it is absolutely essential that government prosecutors zealously investigate any allegations of wrong doing on the part of elected Democrats - but that it is the "criminalization of politics" when calls are made to investigate elected Republicans.

I believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science", but Creation Theory should be taught in schools.

I believe the ACLU is despicable for representing convicted felons, but I know they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.

I believe that Prescott Bush (W's grandfather) should never have been indicted for trading with the Nazi’s during WWII, despite the fact he retained control over his German bank enterprise (which helped finance Hitler - whom he called, "a good Christian who supported law and order"), and profited from aiding and comforting the Nazi regime throughout the war.

I believe in prayer in schools, as long as "those people" don't try pray to Allah, Buddha, or other false, Un-American gods. Scientologists and "Mooneys" are okay as long as they donate big time to our candidates - - despite the rest of the world’s opinion, Reagan confirmed they are not "cults."

I believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, after all we all know that if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

I believe that "Standing Tall for America" means firing American workers and moving their jobs overseas, if that is the only way to maximize profits for "corporate America".

I believe that the first-term Bush tax cuts gave rich Republicans so much money that they bought George his second term - - and he will be long, long gone before we really have to pay the deficits back.

I believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but I'm firm in my conviction that multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.

I believe that Aid to Mothers with Dependent children is wasteful use of tax-payer dollars, but giving tax breaks to companies moving American jobs overseas is just what the American government is all about.

I believe that George W. Bush REALLY won the election in 2000, in spite of the 600,000 plus vote plurality for Al Gore, and the unprecedented interference of the U. S. Supreme Court in appointing Bush the president, 5 to 4.

I believe that being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless it's someone like good ol' Rush - he's ill and he needs our prayers to speed his "recovery".

I believe that government Medicare is wrong and that HMOs and insurance companies only have my best interests at heart.

I believe that government should stay out of people's lives (except of course in the case of that poor Schiavo woman) but it needs to punish anyone caught having sex in private with the "wrong" gender.

I believe that it was perfectly acceptable to allow Ken Starr to spend $50 million in tax-payer dollars to go after Clinton, because no other U.S. presidents have ever been unfaithful to their wives.

I believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit. It's even better if it's in another state. Better still if it is another country.

I believe that providing health care to all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing health care to all Americans is socialism personified.

I believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

I STILL believe that George was really telling the truth about Weapons of Mass Destruction

I believe that we really could have gotten Bush’s business partner, Osama bin Laden if it hadn’t been for that bastard, Bill Clinton.

I believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops while sending them overseas to fight an un-winnable war, while at the same time cutting their VA benefits.

I believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and in the global war on terrorism.

I believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals therein.

I believe that the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because "we" just can't handle the truth.

I believe that the public has a right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter".

I believe that even though governments have supported the arts for thousands of years our government should not provide any such support to the nation's arts community. After all, the rich can afford to buy their own "art and culture" and the poor don't need any.

I believe that the US should get out of the UN, and that our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

I believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

I believe that we should forgive and pray for Newt Gingrich, Bob Barr, Henry Hyde, Trent Lott, Arlen Spector, and Bob Livingston for their many and continued marital infidelities, but that that bastard, Bill Clinton should never, ever be forgiven.

I firmly believe that International Treaties only count so long as they give us what we want.

I believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is communist, but trading with, borrowing money from, and pandering to, China is just fine and dandy.

I believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

I believe that what Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest but what Bush did is "stale news" and "irrelevant".

I believe that Jesus loves "us", and that Jesus shares "our" hatred of AIDS victims, labor unions, foreigners, homosexuals, and "Liberals". And I'm sure that really does support the death penalty, despite what it says in the Bible.

I support state rights, which means instructing a Republican controlled Department of Justice to tell states which locally passed voter initiatives will permitted and which won't.

I believe that American society really is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but I probably still wouldn't ever vote for Allan Keyes. And by the way, whatever happened to the good politicians like Jesse Helms, Lippy Dole and Strom Thurmond?

I believe that it's only fair and honest to excuse George Jr. for his years of cocaine abuse, alcoholism, marital infidelities, but that damned Clinton should have been impeached for receiving oral sex in the White House.