Things that Republicans Believe
Laugh at `em - Vote against `em
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
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Laugh at `em - Vote against `em
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