I do love him and I have to do what I must to prove that to him. I also love myself and; it's time for me to prove that also. I don't know how he's going to feel about cooking for himself but I figure; It's a small price to pay for my recovery and our relationship becoming what we both really want it to be. I love him and I need for him to know that. He currently doesn't and it's understandable that he feels that way.

I am going to try very hard to curtail the amount of sex that I have with others if not stop it all together while he's gone. Maybe in doing that alone I will be taking the first step toward showing him that; what I truly want is him over anyone else. I don't ever want to lose him and I'm afraid that if I continue on with the trend at hand; I might eventually. The time to nip this in the but to the best of my ability is now, not later when it's too late to try.

So long for now.