At any rate, Foggy was seriously neglecting his duties as an appropriate lover to me. In the months that followed from February to June he managed to have sex, (not make love) with me two times. The first time was about three months after my birthday, which he was not at all in to or interested in at all. He acted as if it were a chore to even have sex with his own lover. The second time, which was about three months later; He was the one who initiated with me. He did seem a little more into it that time but, still not the way he'd been in the past.

When I'd asked him what was wrong with me that he wasn't sexually interested in me anymore, he said; "it's not you Patrick; it's me." It's not just you; I don't have any interest in sex with any man." Every time I even think about it all I can do is cringe from remembering what was done to me as a boy, and what I did to other kids." Just the thought of sex with anybody right now turns me off and makes me sick." So it's not you; it's me."

So he asked me to be patient with him. I did for as long as I could; considering that he was unwilling to seek professional help. I could have helped him had he been willing to let me; but he wouldn't. I didn't know what else to do but to start telling him; "either put out or get out." If you won't get the help you need from someone else and you won't accept it from me; get out!" You think you have to do it all on your own; that's fine!" Do it on your own; but your not going to drag me through the coals with you!" Get help or get out!

It didn't matter how many times I told him that he didn't go until I approached him with leaving based on the angle that I was suggesting he do so for his own benefit, rather than for mine. He then admitted that he could see what the situation was doing to me and; he knew that it wasn't fare to me to be kept in a situation where I was living with someone as my lover who didn't act like a lover to me anymore. He had become best friend and roommate. I told him, "I think that maybe what we need to do is separate for a while." Not permanently; just for a year or so until you get your issues worked out." Then we can revisit the possibility of moving in together again when we're both in a more appropriate place to do so." I've been thinking about that myself lately." He said. I have to work through this on my own." I don't know why: I just know that that's the way I have to do it." I've been wanting to write my story to, and I don't know why but; I can't do that and be involved in a relationship with anybody while I'm doing it." That's something that I'm going to have to be alone to do." I can't explain it Patrick; that's just the way I have to do it."

Naturally, I expected that he'd just right his story, work on himself; and in a year or so we'd be back together again. I never expected in all eternity to ever hear him tell me what came a few months later.