"Here's where I'm going to poke you and accidentally miss the vain causing blood to fly EVERYWHERE!"
"Larry, you're the coolest" 'Thanks but my name is Jo--'  "It's ok Larry, you don't have to say anything"
Who whating how with what??
I smell your nasty B.O you punkass!
This is the crap they have me sign before I went in for a blood test and a surprise test..
In the beginning of November I went to the emergency room because I ate food and it was killing my stomach.  Of course, I puked before I got there and once I was there, I felt fine, stupid & embarassed.  So because doctors like to take their sweet ass time, plus my panic attacks with hospitals (i am terrified of hospitals).. it took a while to figure out what was wrong.  They decided.. guessed.. picked numbers.. I don't know.. but they were going to take out my gall bladder.


I had to go in for tests before the surgery to make sure everything was up to par.  Here is what I had to do:
I smell Fear!
Waiting.... heart pumping..
The thought of fleeing enters my mind
           There goes my blood! wheeeeeeeee
This was the test they surprised me with.  I thought I was going there just to give a little blood.  Then they shot this plastic container at me... 

If theres one thing I hate.. it's murderers..
if it's another.. it's
PEEING IN A CUP!!
January 3rd.. after surgery
These pictures were taken by my sweet mother.  Look at my hair!  It's everywhere.  I didn't care, I was on 30mg of morphine so I just wanted to sleep forever.  Of course the nurse & my mom kept talking to me.  I just wanted to say "SHUT UP" but my lip was numb and frankly, I was probably too drugged to get words out.
This is how it went down.  I went in at 8am, surgery was at 10am.  I remember talking to the anesthesiologist and a nurse said they were going to give me something to help me relax.  No where did they say they were going to give me the medicine to make me fall asleep.  Isn't that illegal?  I think i woke up around 2.. maybe 3.. I don't know I was in such pain and they shot me with morphine so I wasn't paying attention to anything.

This is how they cut me open.  Two - one inch cuts below my stomach (to the right of my belly button) is where they took a light scope and put in the scissors/cutters/whatever it was that they used to remove my gall bladder.  4 inches above my belly button is a 2 1/2 inch cut where they put the air machine.. They shot air into me so my skin and what not would lift up and they had a good view.  Then in my belly button.. is where they PULLED OUT MY GALL BLADDER!  i have a 2 1/2 inch cut there.. Not really IN my belly button, but pretty much right on it.  I didn't get to take a picture of my gall bladder, but feel free to imagine a small pink thing that looks like a deflated balloon.
This is my nurse.  I forgot her name.. it mighta been Joan, but since I can't be sure, I'll just call her Larry.  Larry was really cool, she walked me up and down the hall, gave me crackers, and let me pee by myself!  Thanks a bunch Lar!
This is the needle mark where I assume.. they numbed me up..
Here is the 2 1/2 inch cut they made above my belly button. 
All in all, it was a pretty ok surgery.  Of course, that doesn't mean my fear of hospitals is gone and I'd like another surgery.. don't get me wrong.  I'm just saying at least they didn't cut off my arm and replace it with a shoe.  hmm... that might actually be cool. 

"Look, I made a pigeon rat!" - The Simpsons (halloween episode where bart's former conjoined 'evil' twin wants to sew them back together)

WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD RESULT IN THIS?  Probably my death.  What's second?  STILL HAVING STOMACH PROBLEMS!!!  Now I have to go in for an Upper G.I and I hate them!  I'd rather just never drink milk again, even though I love it.  :(