Rhayader RFC Players

The Forwards (fat bastards who eat too much pies and smell of sheep shit)
	Dafydd Bayliss Second Row The only farmer in all of Wales to own a pair of Levi Jeans. Who says farmers are struggling. However, a top ball retriever and player. Rub his mysterious grey patch and you’ll be forever impotent		Kurt Hughes Number 8 Recently became a dad and husband Will this lifestyle affect his rugby career? Don’t mess with this player, he’s a kick boxer.
	Dai “shits” Davies Prop A collusus in the front row with surpisingly quick speed and excellent ball handling skills.		Darren Mills Prop Without a doubt one of our best and most consistent players. Older brother of Wales U21 and Llanelli prop Robert Mills.
	Neil Nicholls Second Row The style guru of Pant-yr-Dwr, wearing club ties with polo shirts. It's the latest craze in swinging Pant-yr-Dwr. A well committed fast player however.		Andrew Pugh Hooker If heart was figure, this guy would be built like Dai Shits.
	Stuart Ross Flanker Our very own world champion pole climber, and last seasonsplayer of the year. Impressive		Tommy Walsh Second Row The playboy lifestyle has taken it's tole on this player. However, I challenge anyone to tackle him when he's in full stride.
	Martin Lawrence Flanker This guy has been with more girls than Oliver Reed's had shorts. Unfortunately Oliver Reed in his worst state wouldn't go with half of those girls Lawrence has been with. Still give him credit, every hole's a goal. A good flanker however who's built like a mini battleship.		Wayne Vaughan Anywhere Mr Versatility this guy is, and one proud owner of the best guts in Rhayader.
	Gavin James Second Row/ Prop A big collusus of a man with good upper strength. It would be an idea though for the club to invest in buying him a set of blinkers so that he runs straight.		Terry John Hutchinson Anywhere A good player who often pops up from Newport. Often regails us with his amazing stories from Newport, as we all sit around with amazement. He's the King of Phrase. Best one to date: I'd crawl across broken glass, with my fly undone, to stick a stick in her shit.
The Backs (the people who forwards call pussies, but always manages to pull the girls)
	Brian Williams Inside Centre We have him, fortunately Tref-y-Clawdd don't. With a deceptive sidestep and passion for running with the ball, the wings job is a boring one.		Chris Powell Scrum half / Flanker The only player in the current squad to have played alongside the mighty Vic Hicks. Still evergreen, he was last seasons top try scorer.
	Chris Bennett Outside Half / Centre A class tackler and passer of the ball, Chris was a much missed player towards the end of last seaon due to a knee injury. Let's hope it stays out this season.		Mark Williams Outside Half / Centre / Wing Played across the border last season for Luctonians, but has fortunately returned. We should therefore have a formidable set of backs.
	Gary Price Full Back This guy has the pace of Forrest Gump and the sidestep of Phil Bennett. If only he would boot the ball more often. Not only can he play rugby good, but he could charm the rice off a starving boy, even when paraletic.		Gareth Gower Flanker/Scrum half A real powerhouse, with a good eye for potential charges. One of our best players.
	Jack Peters Wing / Centre I'll leave it to someone polite to describe me.		Rhys Davies Wing Mega fast and mega ugly still you can't have it all. Hopefully he'll be down on weekends from Uni to play for us more often.
	Alan Samuel Wing / Centre Last seasons 2nds player of the year, he should make an impact for the firsts providing he's down from Uni often.		Tim Richards More versatile than a Swiss army knife Possessor of the flashest set of wheels in Mid-Wales rugby.Quick off the mark with great acceleration. Tim, however, isn't.
	Dai 'ferret' Thomas Outside Half Veteran of the side who has thankfully made a come back, putting in solid performances and organising the backs well.Good decision maker. Experience is vital hey, unless you're 90 and feeling randy.		Dylan Jones Wing With terrific speed and legs which go all over the place he proves to be difficult to stop for his opposite number. Experience will give him more of a rugby brain.
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